Chapter Seven #2
Alie tilts her head, thinking. “Hard to say because when I met him, we had a very rose-colored-glasses kind of night, you know?”
“Right.” I nod.
She smiles. “But I did trust how I felt while I was with him.”
“How did you feel?”
“Safe,” she says simply. “And seen for who I was as a person, not what my name was. Like, I didn’t have to perform or prove anything to him. I guess part of that was that he didn’t know who I was.”
“Yeah, but you were also attracted to him.” I wiggle my brows. “And I don’t blame you. He’s a beautiful man.”
She laughs loudly. “That definitely helped. It was the hottest night of my life up to that point.”
“So you’ve told me. Several times.” I roll my eyes but laugh.
“What about you?” she asks.
I shrug, watching Sera spin in circles until she falls into a pile of balloons. “What about me?”
“Do you ever think about finding someone like that?”
More often than I used to—that’s for sure. But I don’t say that.
Instead, I say, “Yeah, sometimes.”
“What is it you think you want?”
The question hangs between us. It’s a simple question, but one I’m not sure I know how to answer.
“I want …” I pause, trying to think of the right words. “Someone I can depend on, for sure.”
She nods.
“Someone I can trust,” I continue. “Someone who shows up and never makes me guess where I stand.”
“Mmm.”
“And obviously, I’d want him to blow my mind in bed.” I smile, trying to lighten the mood.
She snorts. “I mean, that’s a given.”
We both laugh, but then she turns to me.
“I’m serious, you know. I want you to be as happy as I am. You deserve the very best. You’re my favorite sister.”
“I know you’re serious, but also … I’m your only sister, so I’m not sure if that holds weight.” I shove her playfully.
“You know I love you. You’re the best big sister a girl could ask for.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders.
I touch my head to hers. “We’re lucky we have each other—that’s for sure. This world could very easily chew us up and spit us out.”
We sit quietly then, watching Seraphina. She laughs without hesitation and looks back at Alie and me, like she knows she’s the center of our universe right now.
Something inside me twists. It’s not jealousy. More like longing.
“I just wonder sometimes if that exists for me,” I say quietly.
I’m never this vulnerable, but something is making me feel a little raw today.
“For you?” Alie asks. “Hell yeah, it does.”
“Unless I’ve missed my window. I am a thirty-year-old woman now. Time is ticking.”
She turns to me again. “Pres.”
“I’m just saying—” I start.
Alie interrupts, “You haven’t missed anything.”
I shrug and bite the inside of my lip.
“Your person is out there.” She takes my hand in hers.
I nod, but if anything, that makes me feel even more unsettled.
Because there is one person, and he’s already my person. My person who makes all of this feel complicated.
Seraphina takes off out of the room, interrupting my thoughts, and we chase after her.
“You know,” Alie says casually, “I’ve always thought you’d end up with Saint.”
My head snaps toward her. “What?”
She watches me and shrugs like she just made a comment about the weather. “I think you heard me.”
“That would be ridiculous.”
“But is it really ridiculous?”
“Yes,” I say a little too loud.
“Presley.”
“What? He’s my best friend, Alie.”
“And?”
“If something were to happen, it would have happened a long time ago. We’re both career-focused people. It’s not sustainable for a relationship.”
She raises a brow. “Are you sure that's all it is?”
I swallow. “Yes, I’m sure. Might I also remind you of Dad’s number one rule?
Never date a footballer. Your relationship with Liam is an exception because you have a child together and are very clearly in love,” I point out.
“Saint is the best man I know, but I’m not sure he’s the settling-down type.
Trust me. He’s never had a girlfriend who lasted longer than a few months. ”
“And maybe that’s because he has someone else on his mind,” she says under her breath, but I hear it.
She studies me for a moment like she sees something I don’t. A little too long for my comfort level. Or she’s just waiting for the chance to call me out on justifying my reasons for having concerns.
But I don’t even try.
Because I can’t.
Because if I do, everything would change between Saint and me.
“Okay, fine. I’ve just always thought you had great chemistry with him,” she says.
“That’s because we’re … us. Nothing more.”
“Pres—”
“Alie, no.” My voice comes out sharper than I intend.
Sera hears me and looks up from her latest bubble battle and blinks at us.
I smile at her. “Sorry, Sera.”
She smiles back at me, satisfied that everything is ok.
My sister doesn’t look convinced, but she doesn’t say anything else.
For now, at least.
We leave Bubble Planet twenty minutes later, our family driver taking us back into the city. Sera half asleep on Alie’s shoulder, her tiny hand gripping Alie’s hair, but not pulling. She’s always done that, even when she was a newborn. She would take Alie’s hair in her hand and hold it for hours.
The sun is low, and golds, blues, and pinks scatter across the early fall sky.
“You want to come over for dinner?” Alie asks.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll just head to my place. The Bubble Place sucked all the energy out of me too.”
“Okay, I get it. But if you change your mind, you’re welcome to come over.”
“Thanks, Al.”
I watch Alie and Sera snuggled together.
And even though my thoughts are jumbled, I feel happy.
Because I love my niece so much; it’s crazy. But also because my sister is happy. She’s found something real and worth building a life around. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted for her.
I’m just not sure I’ll ever have what she has.
The one person who makes me feel even close to that is also the person I could never risk losing.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out.
Saint.
It’s like he knew I was thinking about him. Like he knew we were talking about him.
I don’t open the message and lean my head back against the headrest, letting myself imagine what it would be like.
Not the stolen moments we’ve had over the years. Not just the tension that’s nearly out of control since we had sex. And definitely not the memory of his hands and mouth on my body.
But more like … what would it be like to wake up beside him and be more than just his friend? Not to pretend like the chemistry isn’t there. To not have those lines between us.
The thought is intoxicating. And maybe a little terrifying.
He’s more than someone I’m attracted to.
He’s my Saint.
My constant. And the man who knew me before I became Doctor Grant.
If we gave in again, and it went wrong? If we tried and failed? What if, once the chase was over, would he still want me in the same way?
I’m not sure I’m willing to risk it and potentially to lose the best friendship I’ve ever had. And I would lose him if it didn’t work out. This thought alone makes me anxious at the mere thought.
And I’m not sure that’s something I could survive.
So, I’ll do what I’ve always done and tuck it away.