Chapter Twenty-One
Ben
I picked up another box of dusty books, lamenting that it had taken us so long to start going through Grandma’s things. I’d long suspected she had more than a few hidden gems in her collection, but until now I hadn’t really taken the time to comb through it.
“Give me those!” Travis shouted, hauling ass to take the box of books out of my arms. The loving look he gave those books should have been reserved for a puppy or a child.
“Dude,” I snorted. “I like reading as much as the next person, but you have a problem.”
Liam followed right behind me, a similarly hefty box in his arms. “He thinks it’ll finally get him a girlfriend,” he taunted.
“I don’t need books to get a girl,” Travis retorted, following us back out to the cars with his beloved box of books. “And you’d be excited about getting boxes of books, too, if you owned a bookstore.”
Travis did get the assistant coaching position under Liam, unsurprisingly, but he’d also bought the old bookstore downtown next to The Rolling Scone.
In the middle of shoving the boxes into the roomy bed of Liam’s black Dodge Ram, my phone beeped. My heart did a little flip when Ava’s name flashed across the screen.
Ava: Hey, can we set up a time soon to meet at the house?
“Is that Mom?” Liam asked without missing a beat. “Is she okay? I can go over there if she needs something.”
Ever since Mom fell last week, Liam’s guilt for not being there to help was surpassed only by his dedication to making it up to her.
“Dude,” I laughed, “chill. Mom’s fine. It’s Ava.”
His head swiveled toward me like some kind of creepy doll. “Ava? Is she just texting you now?”
Travis set down his box and leaned against Liam’s truck like he was getting ready to watch a show.
“No,” I snorted. “We’re still in the middle of the sale, and she’s their elected representative.”
“I see.” He narrowed his eyes at me like I was a puzzle needing to be solved.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I challenged, knowing full well what it meant. Liam was the only person that knew I’d had a crush on Ava in high school. He was the one I’d gone to for advice on what to do and, even though the situation blew up, I still maintain that his advice was sound.
“Come on, Ben, I’m not blind. You’ve always liked Ava.”
“You mean the way you’ve always liked Riley?”
Liam’s expression tightened at that. “We never got the timing right. That ship has sailed, wasn’t meant to be.”
“But she’s moving back now.” I started back toward the house to get another box, Liam and Travis hot on my trail.
“Doesn’t change the fact that our moment has passed,” he grumbled.
I stopped mid-stride and turned on him. “What was that about you not being blind?”
“I’m not hung up on Riley anymore.”
I wanted to call bullshit on that so badly, but instead I seized my opportunity. “And I’m not hung up on Ava.”
Liam narrowed his baby blues at me, but didn’t argue. “Seems like we’re in agreement, then.”
We moved several more dusty loads in silence, up the stairs, down the stairs, to the car, and back again. It gave me time to consider my answer to Ava. Initially, I’d considered telling her to just come on over since we were working here anyway. But for some reason that answer didn’t feel right. Instead of digging deeper into that gut reaction, I decided to have her come tomorrow.
Firing off my reply, I sat down beside Liam on the bottom step of the wooden staircase.
“Mom told me Ava’s parents died years ago,” he said, striking up a rather morbid conversation for a Wednesday evening.
“Yup. When we were in college.”
“What happened to their house? Did she keep it?”
I turned to give my brother a pointed look. “Yeah. She still lives there. Why?”
“I would like to formally extend an offer to have some of the team help her get a raid going for Cedar Lake. I know they’re behind this year, and I’m betting Ava hasn’t been able to participate in the contest for a while. If you think it’s something she’d be interested in, feel free to tell her we can help.”
Alright, I could see where his intense line of questioning came from, so I didn’t harass him about it anymore.
“She’s coming by tomorrow sometime,” I replied. “I’ll mention it to her.”
“Jake’s parents live on Cedar Lake, too, so I don’t think it would be hard to get a full crew. You could join us.”
“Fat chance, but I appreciate the invitation. I have zero desire to hold onto some relic of my youth.”
“Speak for yourself,” Liam scoffed. “I’m having at least as much fun with it now as I did when I was a kid. I bet you might accidentally enjoy yourself, too.”
“You’ve been back in Cedar Springs for less than two months and you’re already entrenched in the Lake Wars and angling for more involvement,” I observed with a small laugh. “You missed it here that much?”
Liam shrugged, leaning backward and bracing himself on the step above us. “When I was gone I didn’t. I missed seeing the family, but I was so busy that I didn’t really have time to miss anything else. Now that I’m back, it’s almost like I’m getting to meet everyone all over again.”
Something tugged in my gut, a feeling that made me keep asking questions. “Do you regret leaving?”
He tilted his head, considering. “I never really thought of it like that, I guess. I know most kids either talk about laying down roots here with their families or escaping small town life, but for me it never felt like that much of a dichotomy. It wasn’t so black and white, because it wasn’t about where I was living. It was about what I was doing.”
I couldn’t suppress a smirk at that. “Football.” Of course. I should’ve seen that one coming.
“You laugh, but I mean it,” he continued. “Football was my life, and in a different way it still is. So, no, I don’t regret leaving because coming or going wasn’t what mattered. I followed my passion and lived my dream and I don’t regret that for a minute.”
That shut me up while I considered his words. It never ceased to amaze me that someone who appeared outwardly to be a complete jock had such a deep and balanced understanding of life. Honestly, I couldn’t think of a better person to be coaching high school kids. They could do a lot worse than getting life advice from Liam.
“You’re asking me that for a reason, aren’t you?” he said when we both stood to get the next load of boxes.
“The last time you interrogated me like that you were figuring out what to do about Jules.”
“You got me,” I admitted, following him up the creaky stairs. “The truth is I’ve wanted to leave for a while, but if I had Mom would’ve been alone. You were in Denver and Dad’s in Ireland more than he’s not, and I didn’t want her to feel like I was abandoning her.”
“I’m back now. If you want to go, then go. I’ll be here with Mom. But,” he picked up another box, “at the risk of sounding like a patronizing big brother, I’d like to offer one more piece of advice.”
I stacked the last two boxes, lifting with my legs and wondering how sore I was going to be tomorrow, before nodding for Liam to continue.
“I’m not a therapist or anything, but I don’t think anyone just wants to leave their hometown.”
“There are literal droves of our former classmates who would disagree with you there,” I laughed.
“That’s not what I mean.” His voice took on that serious tone he used when he was teaching the players. “They want to leave, but not just to go somewhere else. Nine times out of ten, I’d bet they’re not leaving, they’re running. Away from an oppressive family. Away from a traumatic childhood. Away from a place where they don’t feel they belong. There are a million reasons to run.”
I knew where he was heading, but I still wasn’t buying it. “I appreciate the concern, but I just need a change of scenery.”
He nodded. “Just do me a favor. While you’re planning your big move away, think about why it is you need that change.”
My pulse picked up when my phone buzzed right in the middle of Liam’s philosophical discussion of travel and Ava’s reply came through.
Ava: I can come by after work tomorrow. A little before 7?
Ben: I’ll see you then.
Running away. What nonsense. What would I even be running from?
Packing the boxes into Liam’s trunk, I decided that instead of psychoanalyzing a perfectly normal desire, I would keep carrying boxes until this house was finally emptied.