Chapter Thirty-Two
Ava
As much as I wanted to spend every moment with Ben, I really did need to talk with Jules first. But it was Tuesday morning, and she was still asleep, so I channeled my nervous energy into a project instead. She and Riley had come back on Sunday, but Riley was spending a few days with her family. I sat down at the kitchen table with a steaming cup of coffee and my laptop. It was time to make a help wanted ad.
While my potato of a laptop booted up, I stared into the void and sipped my coffee. The void was very brown. I looked from the maple laminate floor to the oak cabinets to the beige walls. The best part was that the walls weren’t even painted the same shades of beige—no less than four shades covered the three main walls.
Maybe a color change wouldn’t be the worst thing. Mom had always talked about a yellow kitchen. Not sunflower yellow, but a light, cheery butter yellow to brighten the windowless room. I pulled out my phone and texted Ben.
Ava: I’m painting it yellow.
I watched the dots move across the screen while he typed his reply.
Ben: You mean we’re painting it yellow. Want to get started today?
I really did. Once I got an idea, I loved nothing more than running with it until I hit the finish line.
Ava: Let me talk to Jules this morning. I’ll let you know.
What color cabinets, then? Probably white. Pinterest would know. I pulled it open in my browser and started searching for yellow kitchens, saving all the ones I liked so I could use them as inspiration photos later. By the time my coffee was empty, I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to do color-wise.
At that point, I couldn’t put off the ad any longer. Refilling my cup, I started making a list of what I wanted out of hiring my first employees. If I knew what I really needed help with, that would give me a framework for outlining their hours and responsibilities. I planned to start with a part-time clerk to man the front counter during busy hours, but eventually I’d like to get a part-time chef to help with prepping the lunch menu items and a second clerk so that I had full coverage.
“What are you up to?” Jules asked, coming down the stairs in an oversized pajama shirt with a giant red mushroom on the front. “Isn’t this your day off?”
I shrugged. “Days off are pretty loose and fast when it’s my own business. I’m just putting together a job ad for a part-time employee, actually.”
She grabbed a mug from the cupboard and poured herself some coffee. Her hair was down in a silvery cascade that somehow looked incredible even though I knew she’d just rolled out of bed.
“An employee, eh?” She sat across from me at the table, pulling her feet up into her chair and curling herself around her coffee. “Maybe I should just work for you.”
“I would hire you if you want it,” I told her. “But it’s only part-time, and it would be all the hours I’m off work basically.”
Her lips slipped downward. “So we’d never get to hang out,” she pouted. “Boo. Never mind.” She sipped her coffee before adding, “Maybe I should just take Ben’s offer.”
That was my cue, if ever there was going to be one. My head felt buzzy and light, like it might float into the sky and then pop. I tried focusing on Jules’s mushroom shirt for a minute before I went for it.
“I wanted to talk to you about Ben, actually.”
Her almond eyes narrowed perceptively. “Is everything okay?”
“Sort of.” I had rehearsed this a million times in my head, but somehow I struggled to find the right words. “I know that you two have a really complicated history.”
Okay, Ava, great start. That’s the tip of the iceberg, though.
Jules set down her coffee and leaned toward me. “You’re being weird,” she accused, not incorrectly. “Out with it.”
Maybe I should’ve waited until she finished her coffee instead of springing it on her the moment she got up. Damn, I really didn’t plan this well at all.
“I like Ben,” I blurted out, doing precisely as she’d ordered. “If it’s okay with you, I would really like to date him.” I winced even as the words tumbled out. It sounded so bizarre, even more so coming from me.
She stared at me a long time, her eyes shifting in thought as a whirlwind of emotions swirled across her face. At first it was a blank stare, presumably while the meaning behind the words sunk in. Then confusion, then several others so fast I couldn’t name them before she went back to a blank slate.
“Does he like you?” she asked. “Like he’s expressed the same interest?”
I nodded, not wanting to say anything that would hurt her, but not wanting to lie either.
She went quiet for a long time, and I worried that she was about to blow up on me.
I should’ve known better.
Jules was never a bomb like Gianna. I doubted she had it in her to do anything other than try to please people. Even without that particular trait in action, it was hard not to like Jules.
Which made me feel even worse about asking this of her.
“If I’m honest, it makes me pretty uncomfortable,” she said at last, her face pained. “I really want to tell you I don’t mind, but it would be so weird having him hang out with all of us again, except this time it’s with you. Do you know what I mean?”
I did know what she meant.
“I thought you hated him,” she went on. “When did that change? What happened?”
I had not prepared for that line of questioning, though in hindsight it seemed an obvious one.
“The more time I was forced to spend with him for all the house stuff, the more we started just talking like regular people. It just sort of progressed from there.”
“Wait.” Jules held up a hand in emphasis. “Was it actually a date when you helped him cook?”
“Not deliberately, no.”
She cocked her head. “What does that mean? Not deliberately?”
“It wasn’t a date,” I assured her, though that felt like a fine line at this point. “I really did agree just to help him help his mom. But in the end it felt like a date even though it wasn’t one.”
“Why did it feel like a date? Did something happen?” Her voice was higher than I’d ever heard it.
I felt heat rush to my face at her question and knew I was done for. The worst part was that I didn’t have a way to ease her worries, because even though I’d been sneaking around not-dating Ben, I wasn’t going to lie to Jules. I just had to keep telling myself that to make extra super sure.
I fumbled through all the ways I could possibly answer that for the least horrible one, but I didn’t find it before Jules saw through me.
“Ava,” she demanded. “Are you sleeping with Ben? Behind my back?”
I had never felt so awful in my entire life. My head fell into my hands and I answered into my palms. “Only once,” I whispered. “And it was an accident. I meant to talk to you first, but—”
Jules stood, grabbing her coffee. “You have my blessing to date him,” she said cooly, heading back upstairs.
I felt like shit, and I wasn’t going to leave it like that, but I completely understood that she needed some time. When she was ready, I wanted to tell her that if it really upset her, I was going to respect her feelings. Because that was what friends did.
But the next time Jules descended the stairs, she was fully dressed, suitcase in tow, with her sunglasses on her head.
I shot out of my chair, ad forgotten. “Jules, wait,” I pleaded. “Can we talk about this more?”
“I’m sorry, Ava.” The shattered look on her face sent a shot of pain through me. “I need some space right now. We can talk later.”
Without even a good-bye, I watched Jules walk out my brown front door.