Chapter Thirty-Eight
Ben
It had been a long time since I’d had so many emotions swirling through me without being properly held in check.
I was devastated for Ava. She took the news in stride, but I knew she was pinning the last of her hopes on Riley—an upstanding, ride-or-die friend, but also unemployed. I knew she’d want to help Ava, but I doubted that she could.
I was worried about my mom. She’d been acting odd, making strange decisions that weren’t in keeping with her usual habits. Selling Grandma’s house, hosting a family party out of nowhere, and then not lowering the sale price of the house—something wasn’t adding up. She’d also seemed shocked when I suggested she might be planning a trip to Ireland, which then had me worrying about her and my dad.
He’d been gone more often than not these past few years. Was she tired of being alone? Were they having serious problems? Maybe Mom needed the money for a divorce.
More than anything, though, I felt guilt. I was letting the people I loved down left and right, apparently incapable of doing anything but making mistakes in spite of my best intentions. I’d hurt Jules twice over. I’d let my Mom down and had felt guilty for years about planning to abandon her like Liam and Dad did. She deserved better than all the men in her life walking away.
And then there was Ava. Everything she’d wanted started falling apart the minute I got involved. It was selfish of me to go after her knowing it would jeopardize her friendship with Jules, and I did it anyway. Jules had deserved better than me in high school, and it was looking more and more like Ava deserved better now.
We arrived at Mom’s cute bungalow promptly at eleven in the morning, so that we had plenty of time to have the snacks ready by one when the rest of the guests arrived. The whole place was covered in red, white, and blue decorations—streamers, table toppers, even some shiny swirls hanging from the ceiling. Lawn games, chairs, and coolers filled the backyard. I spotted Liam out there dumping ice into the coolers and moving some of the chairs around.
Mom apologized to Ava the moment she greeted us at the door. Ava played it off like a champ, even though I knew the whole thing was tearing her apart. With that out of the way, we launched into full party mode. The next few hours were so busy that I hardly had a free moment to wallow in all my concerns.
Old friends and family I hadn’t seen in years came through the door with smiling faces and trays of this or that to contribute to the snack table. Riley got there at about one-thirty and came straight for us. She gave first Ava, then me, a giant hug and we managed to exchange a brief greeting before Liam spotted her. I knew that was the last we’d see of her for a while.
My brother’s entire face softened when he laid eyes on Riley. It had ever since he was a kid. But for a fairly intelligent guy, he could be a real idiot. Especially when it came to his painfully obvious crush on Riley, and the complete and utter denial he gave whenever Mom or I tried to point it out to him.
As predicted, Liam swooped in, asked Riley to be his partner in corn hole, and swept her out to the edge of the backyard to start a game. Rather tellingly, to my way of thinking at least, Riley did not hug Liam. I was in the friend zone. I got hugs. Liam was in the untouchable zone and Riley was nervous around him. Maybe one of these days they’d get it figured out.
It wasn’t until about four o’clock, when Ava nabbed me to head inside and start getting dinner ready, that all the problems outside of the party flooded back.
Beginning with Riley.
She’d somehow managed to lose her conjoined twin—meaning someone else had probably asked Liam for help with something. We’d only just started preheating the oven and getting out all the ingredients when she asked Ava if she had a minute to talk. We all knew what was about to happen, but I still hoped for Ava’s sake that Riley had a small fortune squirreled away somewhere. Because I knew that was the only way she could still go through with this pact they’d made.
They moved into the sitting room, which was barely a different room from the kitchen and even though she spoke softly, I could still make out their entire conversation.
“Ava, I really want to do this with you,” Riley began. I didn’t have to see her face to know she was distraught.
“I know.” Ava’s reply was gentle. “It’s okay, Riley. I appreciate that you’ve been such a good friend to me. I knew it was a long shot to begin with.”
“I just can’t afford to pay half of that much money,” Riley continued, apparently compelled to explain even though Ava accepted her apology already. “Dividing it five ways would’ve been a stretch, but with just the two of us there’s no way.”
My chest ached for Ava. All I wanted was to go over there and pull her into my arms, but I could tell they weren’t through yet. The silence held momentum. After several beats, Ava spoke next.
“How’s Jules?”
Riley’s voice dropped another decibel. I had to strain to hear what she said now.
“I don’t know, Ava. She’s really not taking it well. I thought she’d feel a little better by now, even if she wasn’t ready to jump back into socializing. She’s really hurt.”
“Is there anything I can do?” Ava’s voice broke even at a whisper.
Gritting my teeth, I made my decision. I knew exactly what she could do, and I was the only thing stopping her from doing it.
I didn’t hear the last few mumbles, but when Riley returned to the backyard and Ava appeared by my side, I forced myself not to pull her straight into a hug.
“Ava,” I began, but she held up a hand to stop me.
“Ben, I really like you,” her eyes searched deep into mine, blurring with the threat of tears. “A lot. I can’t remember the last time I was this excited to be dating someone.”
“You need to fix things with your friends,” I finished for her, ignoring the stabbing feeling in my gut. “And I’m only making it worse.”
“I’m so sorry.” A single tear escaped, but she quickly swiped it with her wrist. “I’ve made such a mess of everything.”
“Ava.” I waited until I had her full attention again. “Everything is going to be fine.”