Chapter Forty-One
Ava
Normally, I gave people baked goods as gifts. Not all the time, but when it was a small or spur-of-the-moment kind of deal. Everyone loved a basket of muffins or a homemade cherry pie, right?
But this needed to be really good. This needed to scream, I’m sorry I’ve been so obtuse and pushy and I see you for who you are now. Also, I’m sorry for stealing your ex-boyfriend . You know, if you could squeeze all of that into a gift. I wasn’t naive enough to believe they would just welcome me back like nothing had changed after one measly gift, but I really hoped it would open the door for us to start fixing things.
After work on the following Friday, I walked the block or so to their new place—Riley had kindly given me the address—trying not to drop the two packages I carried. For Riley, an assortment of top notch Denver Broncos gear. That girl was a die-hard football fan. For Jules, a fairy garden kit. I found all the pieces at an antique place just around the corner from the bakery. I had packaged an assortment of tiny plants—I didn’t know a single one of them—and a sizeable quantity of fairies, houses, bookshelves, pathways, tiny lanterns, and some pebbles and moss into a wide, shallow planter for her to set up however she wanted. It wasn’t my thing at all, but it definitely seemed like her thing.
I was so distracted by balancing the massive boxes that held all that stuff, that I almost didn’t realize that I’d walked into Ben’s apartment building. Frowning, I gingerly set down the packages and checked the address again. It was right.
Weird.
And terribly inconvenient, as it turned out. There was no way I’d be able to come visit them here without thinking of Ben, wondering if he was up there in his apartment, wishing I could drop by.
Refusing to go down that rabbit hole again, I walked to the end of the hall and knocked on 1B to the best of my gift-laden ability. Riley opened the door, frozen in shock. She recovered quickly, though, reaching to take one of the boxes and leading me inside.
The apartment layout was identical to Ben’s, but I didn’t have even a moment to wallow in that fun fact. Gianna and Viv rose from the sofa, walking over to where we stood by the front door.
A searing pain shot through my chest, taking my breath away. They’d come up here to visit Riley and Jules. Just because.
There was no house to buy anymore. There were no plans to make. They’d actually just come all the way up here to hang out.
They’d never done that for me.
I could already feel my composure slipping. I needed to get these delivered and get out of here fast. At least Gianna and Viv would be here to hear the apology, too, but I didn’t have gifts for them.
“Is Jules here?” I asked hesitantly. “I was hoping I could talk with her.”
As soon as I asked, Jules emerged from the hall leading to the bedrooms, an unopened bottle of sangria in her hand. “Found it!” she called before she noticed us. When she spotted us all standing awkwardly in a circle near the door, her grey eyes went wide.
“Oh, shit,” she mumbled. “Did you guys call her over early?”
Riley tried to subtly make the “stop it” sign, shaking her flattened hand near her neck in a few quick bursts.
I didn’t take the time to think about what all that implied. They clearly didn’t want me here, and I totally understood even though it hurt like hell. Instead, I just got it over with.
“I wanted to apologize to all of you,” I began, swallowing hard. “I have been insensitive to what you actually want and I pushed you into a project without thinking of your own goals and the lives you already have. That was selfish and unacceptable, and I am so, so sorry.” I turned to Gianna and Viv. “I didn’t realize you were in town, so I didn’t bring your presents with me, but—”
“Yeah, I’m gonna stop you right there,” Gianna interrupted.
“Why?” I asked, not really wanting to know the answer. My eyes felt awfully misty. Maybe a few gifts and an apology wouldn’t even be enough to get this started.
Jules walked across the room, setting the sangria bottle on the bar top counter as she passed it. She didn’t stop until she had me in a full hug.
“Because there’s nothing to forgive,” she whispered.
The tears did fall then. Jules only squeezed me harder. The rest of the girls joined in until we were one massive hug in front of the door. I had no idea what just happened. How had everyone gone to hating me for dating Ben and being so pushy to hugging me like nothing was wrong?
It didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to question it. I had my girls back, and that was the important thing. I wished I could say that was all that mattered, but that wasn’t really true anymore. Not after I knew what it was like to date Ben.
“That’s not technically true, Jules,” Gianna said when everyone took a step back several minutes later. “There’s nothing for us to forgive. Ava, on the other hand, has some forgiving to do.”
I squinted at Gianna. “What are you talking about? I’m the one who messed up.”
“No, Ava.” Viv took a step toward me. “We are. We weren’t here when you needed us the most, but we’re here now.”
“And we won’t be missing anything else,” Gianna added. She took a deep breath, locking eyes with me. “I am so sorry that I wasn’t here for you,” she said softly. “For the bakery opening, for when your parents died, for any of it. You’re the best friend any of us have ever had and you deserve better than that.”
“And from now on,” Viv added, “you’re going to get it. Starting with that house.”
I swiped the back of my hand across my wet cheeks, sniffling and trying to comprehend what was going on.
“We’re all in,” Jules told me, smiling warmly and pulling me into the kitchen. The rest of the girls sat down in the family room and started talking excitedly. Laughing.
Just like we used to.
While she grabbed two glasses from a cabinet and poured us each some sangria, I took the opportunity to deliver the personalized apology I’d intended for her.
“Listen, Jules, I know you said there was nothing to forgive, but I really feel like there is.”
She handed me one of the wine glasses, looking at me thoughtfully. “Riley and I bumped into Ben while we were moving in the other day,” she began, piquing my curiosity. “He rather bluntly pointed out how childish all of this was, among other things. I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but I’ve thought a lot about what he said.”
My heart stopped at the mention of Ben. I had no idea where she was going with this, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up, so I just sipped my sangria while I waited for her to continue.
“I’m not going to date Ben,” she said softly. “I wouldn’t even want to anymore, and he’s going to date other people. If he makes you happy, then it should be you, because you’re my friend and I really do want you to be happy.” She paused, sighing. “Just, maybe don’t make out in front of me or anything. I’m not in love with him anymore, but first loves are hard to shake as it turns out.”
I set down my glass. It was my turn to dole out one of those whole body, whole soul hugs. “You got it.”
Using every ounce of self-control I possessed, I did not immediately text Ben or fly out the door to run upstairs to his apartment. There’d be plenty of time for that later.
Right now, it was time to spend an evening with my girls.
We sat on Jules and Riley’s mismatched couches, surrounded by moving boxes and laughter. We made plans for the bed and breakfast, got caught up on everyone’s lives, and talked about our futures. We reminisced about the past a little, but I found that I was much more interested in what was to come instead of what we’d left behind.
Two bottles of wine in, Gianna stood and raised her nearly empty glass.
“I propose a new pact,” she declared, “that no matter where we are or what new things life throws our way, we will always be there for the things that matter to each other.”
Then she stepped forward and stretched her hand out above the coffee table.
I reached over and placed mine on top of hers. The rest of the girls rushed to do the same.
And just like that, we made the real pact—the one I knew everyone wanted.
The one I knew would finally keep us together.