21. Emory
EMORY
Rashid has been holding Lex for almost twenty minutes when the boy dozes off. I sit across the room feeling shocked to my core. I stare blankly at my son in the arms of a perfect stranger who is a dangerous criminal, and wonder how on Earth I've gotten into this situation to begin with.
Batya knew?
Or rather, he strongly suspected, but his suspicions were always true.
But if he knew Aleksander belonged to Rashid this whole time, why not say something? Why wait until this perfect moment in my life to drop a bomb and ruin me? He wanted Rashid to kidnap me. It makes me doubt every safe place I ever thought I had.
"Are you okay?" Anna asks as she shuffles in, though she keeps her words muffled, probably so she doesn't wake Lex.
I look up at her and see her scowling at me, not at all a motherly concern. "You look peaky. Go eat something. You’re no good to a child if you faint when you hold them."
"Mother," Rashid chides, a little less quietly. He scowls at her as he rocks Lex and then flicks a glance at me. I swear I see actual concern in his expression, but I have no fucking clue why. Has he suddenly grown a fucking conscience?
"Well I'm not wrong," Anna grumbles, stealing Lex away from Rashid.
My boy is a good sleeper on most days, but this sudden shift of home and environment has done a number on him.
He has been sleeping more than normal and he doesn't even stir as he's shifted around so much.
"Just look at her. Pathetic. You know when I was a mother I would never have allowed myself to be so run down. Children need constant supervision."
I let my head drop, too defeated to say a word in my own defense.
Anna is right, though these circumstances are completely out of my control and out of the ordinary.
No one could blame me for appreciating the extra hands to help me with Lex right now even if they are bony and twisted with arthritis.
I stand slowly as Anna sits in the rocker, replacing Rashid.
Lex continues sleeping, and she continues scowling until I say, "Thank you, Anna, for caring for him so well.
You're right, I just need rest. Tomorrow I'll be better.
" Then her face shifts, like she's shocked that I could ever thank or compliment her, and believe me, I feel bile on my tongue as I do it. But I'm done fighting.
If my father cares so little about me that he would purposefully set me up to be taken, why fight this?
Rashid gives me a surprised expression, and then sighs as he comes to stand by me.
"You should lie down. It's been a long day.
" His hand rides the small of my back as he guides me to the door and out.
I glance over my shoulder at Lex, still sleeping soundly.
I'm sure Anna will rock him for a while and then tuck him into bed.
Rashid's hand stays on my back as we walk toward his bedroom. I've resigned myself to the fact that he thinks of me as his possession. He could've just taken my boy and never told me, but he did. I came here because he left me a note of where my son was, but he didn't have to do that.
So as we walk into his bedroom, and he shuts the door behind us, I turn and ask, "Why didn't you just take him and run?" I may never understand this man's motives. I know he didn't do it to protect me from the Gusevs. He never knew they were a threat back then.
His eyes flick to my face then he turns away with a scowl, undoing his tie and tossing it to his dresser.
Then he unbuttons his shirt and tugs it off.
The firm lines of muscle on his back are attractive, but I'm seeing them differently today.
He has scars from wounds, things he's been through that I never cared about.
But he's so much like me. Except my scars aren't visible.
"I wanted my boy with me, not a new life."
"That's a lame answer, Rashid. You could've never told me where you were taking him. I'd never have seen him again. You don't need me here. Why did you want me to come?"
He turns slowly as he undoes his belt buckle and zipper. Then stands there with his fly open as he licks his lip and scowls at me. "What do you want?"
"I want the truth," I snip, ready to snap again. The men around me are all so fucking toxic. My father can't just tell me the truth and really protect me. This man in front of me can't just say what he feels and wants, and he controls me. All I want is to know what the fuck is going on.
"My boy needs his mother," Rashid growls, shoving his pants down. He steps out of his shoes and then his slacks, walking over to the nightstand where he picks up the bottle of Jameson to take a swig in his socks and boxers.
"That's all?" I say, starting to realize maybe that is the truth. Maybe that's the only reason I'm here, to be his baby momma. And when Lex is grown and I'm no longer needed, I'll be discarded like old furniture.
"Do I need another reason?" he grumbles, plopping on the side of the bed.
I stare at him for a few seconds as he takes another swig, and my heart sinks. There's no redemption for this moment or this circumstance. I am an object to be used and abused, and then eventually thrown away, nothing more.
When he turns off the light, I get the point.
I shed my clothing and grab one of his t-shirts to wear over my panties.
Then I crawl obediently into bed the way I have the past few nights.
There's no point in fighting this. This is my lot in life now.
Rashid is too powerful and knows too much to let me escape.
I don't think even Gusev himself could save me.
I let my eyes shut, but just as I'm on the edge of dozing, I hear Rashid's voice calling me back.
"You were different. So young, Emory. I knew you had a life ahead of you and I knew how fucked up my world was. I wanted you so bad, and every night I did think about you. It's why I looked you up. But I'm at constant war with my enemies. And you were just starting out in life."
He sighs, pulls me tighter against his chest.
"We had so much in common, but I got distracted and busy, and then... well..."
"You were pretty old," I say absently, which causes him to chuckle.
When he quiets, I say, "But I loved everything about you that night. I couldn’t believe you knew so much about art and the masters.
And it felt like some fairytale. I was just a poor college student, and you were this wealthy man...
" I turn toward him, wrapping my arms around him in a strange show of affection that feels right.
"But you left." He sounds cold, as if my ghosting him actually hurt him. I didn't realize he was capable of emotions.
"You have that tattoo all over your chest, and what was I supposed to do? That's scary shit."
His hand strums my back and I curl into him deeper. It's like we're finally taking down walls to be vulnerable, and I like it. I may not enjoy what this man is or his methods, but the passionate man I met almost three years ago is still in there.
"I'm old, huh?"
"Mmmm," I hum, suddenly feeling his body responding to me being so close.
"When I saw those Gusev men putting you in their car, all I could think of was slaughtering them...."
His confession is attractive to me. Maybe I'm just an idiot, but feeling safe is the one thing I need right now, and his strength makes me want to melt into him.
"So Batya was right?" My heart sinks a little as I realize maybe I've judged my father a little harshly, but he did deserve that.
"I would kill for you, Emory. Don't ever mistake that."
I lift my chin to attempt to look him in the eye, but his lips brush over mine. His hand grips the back of my neck, pulling me closer. I open my mouth and our tongues meet. His other hand slides under my t-shirt, groping my breast and squeezing.
I shift against him, tracing the muscles on his chest before Rashid breaks the kiss briefly to tug my t-shirt upward. I raise my arms so he can pull it off and his mouth returns to mine immediately, deeper now. The kiss is warm and sensual, causing me to grind my hips against him in consent.
He rolls on top of me, and one hand moves down, cupping me between the legs and rubbing through the fabric. I moan softly into his mouth, lifting my hips as I reach down and push his boxers lower, freeing him. My hand wraps around his length and strokes slowly.
Rashid groans, shoving my panties aside and pushing his fingers inside me. He kisses me harder, groping my thigh and waist while I pull his boxers completely off.
He keeps his fingers buried deep as he shifts lower, trailing hot kisses down my stomach.
With his free hand he hooks into the waistband of my panties and yanks them down my legs.
I lift my hips, letting him strip them away completely before he discards them.
The cool air hits my wet skin, but only for a moment before his shoulders settle between my thighs, spreading me open wider.
When his hot breath ghosts over my exposed skin, it sends a shiver up my spine; then his tongue drags slowly along my folds in one long, heated stroke. My breath hitches as he licks again, savoring me as if he has all the time in the world.
A rush of heat floods through my core and I clutch the sheets, twisting the fabric between my fingers while his tongue circles my clit with precise, teasing pressure.
It's so incredible the way he makes me feel as he sucks, alternating between broad, wet licks and focused attention that makes my hips buck against his mouth.
Soft moans escape me as pleasure sparks with every pass.
He slips two fingers back inside me, curling them in that perfect way while his mouth continues its relentless work on my clit.
The dual sensation overwhelms me, making my back arch off the mattress.
I bury my fingers in his hair, gripping tightly as the intensity builds.
It's so fast and powerful I couldn't slow it if I tried, and when he growls, the vibration makes it more intense.
My thighs quiver around his head as tension coils in my belly until I can barely breathe. The pleasure crests in a blinding peak that causes my body to jerk upward. I come hard against his tongue, shuddering with sharp waves that leave me gasping and trembling until I'm twitching and limp.
He keeps licking softly through the aftershocks, drawing every last pulse from me.
Only then does he press one final kiss to the inside of my thigh and begin working his way back up my body, trailing slow kisses along my stomach and chest until his mouth finds mine again.
I taste myself on his tongue as he settles between my legs, where his cock presses against my entrance.
I wrap my legs around his waist without thinking, pulling him closer.
He positions himself at my entrance, the thick head of his cock nudging against my slick folds, still sensitive from my release. I feel every inch as he pushes forward slowly, stretching me open and sinking deep until I feel him grind into my back wall.
“Oh God,” I breathe, clutching his shoulders. “So deep..."
He groans against my neck and begins to move, rocking his hips and thrusting into me. “You’re so tight,” he growls. Each thrust grows stronger, driving into me with increasing force until the bed creaks and I arch into him, digging my heels into the backs of his thighs so he'll go deeper.
“Deeper,” I gasp, nails digging into his back. “Please.”
His pace quickens, hips snapping forward harder, and angles himself to hit that perfect spot with every stroke, sending waves of heat through my core.
Sweat slicks my body, but I want more. My hips grind with him, finding the rhythm he's set and matching it so every drag of his dick along my g-spot creates more friction.
“You feel incredible,” he says between thrusts. "God I want to do this all night."
I moan loudly, back bowing off the mattress as pleasure coils tighter.
His thumb finds my clit, circling in time with his movements, and the action only positions my pelvis for him to grind deeper.
The sensation pushes me closer to the edge, and my walls start fluttering around his thick length.
The pressure behind this dam is about to burst, and I’m going to lose control. I feel frantic and uninhibited.
“I’m close,” I whimper, gripping him harder. “Don’t stop.”
He thrusts deeper, faster, groaning with effort.
“Come for me,” he urges, teeth grazing my shoulder.
The pressure snaps inside me and I come hard, crying out groaning with the intensity as he keeps driving into me through my orgasm.
Every jolt and twitch is incredible, better than the last one, and I claw at his sides trying to keep it going.
When his movements get erratic, he mumbles, “Fuck, I’m—” but his words cut off as he buries himself fully, body tensing. He spills inside me in hot pulses, shuddering against my body as we ride out the final waves together, locked tightly in each other’s arms.
When Rashid has caught his breath he pulls back, but he tugs me against his chest and kisses my forehead gently. I'm still panting from exertion and now so drowsy I could fall asleep in his arms happily for the first time.
"You know," he says, pressing a kiss to my sweaty temple. His lips are tender, and I’m starting to let my guard down. The endorphins are making things happen in my head and in my heart that I don’t necessarily consent to.
"Mmmm," I mewl, so relaxed next to him. I can't remember a time I've felt safe with him until now. I could get used to this.
"You were right to be scared of me then." His words surprise me. I open my eyes to look into his and see the storm there. "But now the rest of the world will need to fear me, Emory. Because no one is ever going to touch you, your son, or anyone you care about ever again. You’re mine."
The way he's so possessive is attractive, and like the last time I felt this way, it's comforting.
"Good night, Mr. Krasnov," I murmur, turning away from him. He pulls me against his chest and I'm sleeping within minutes, dreaming of ways to make this all make sense in my head.