Chapter 33 #2
Yosh’s hand stays on my chest while his other rubs slow circles on my back, calming me until the panic clears.
Seeing the worry on his face makes embarrassment crawl under my skin.
“You okay?” he asks, another strong pat landing on my spine.
“Yeah,” I rasp. “Just… Fuck. Sorry.”
He pushes himself off the bed, fishing his shorts off the tiles.
“Stay. I’ll get you some water.”
I nod weakly, wiping my eyes. My throat still feels like I’ve swallowed a cactus. I let myself fall back against the mattress.
Nicely fucking done, McKenna. Weeks of smooth-talking him into bed, and you nearly choke yourself unconscious on his cum. Of all the near-death moments in my life, this one is by far the most embarrassing.
God. And that wasn’t just worry on his face, that was real fucking fear.
It takes Yosh longer than it should, but when he comes back, he’s holding a glass of cold water.
I sit on the edge of the bed with the sheets wrapped around me. Breathing is coming easier now. I try to read his face, but he gives me nothing.
“Here. Take slow sips.”
I do. The cool water soothes the raw edge in my throat.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I should’ve been more careful with Mister ‘New Territory.’”
“Fuck you.”
He grins. “You absolutely fucking wrecked me.”
“You’re too kind. We both know that’s just about the most embarrassing thing that can happen.”
“You’ll get the hang of it.”
“Write me a manual and I’ll practice the entire weekend.”
He steals a kiss behind my ear.
“I’d rather show you.”
I roll my eyes, partly to cover the flush creeping up my cheeks. “Course you would.”
I expect a smirk, some comeback to keep things light. When I read his face, there's none of that. No teasing, none of the usual back-and-forth.
That means playtime is officially over, because he’s looking at me like I’m dessert, and he’s trying to decide where to take the first bite.
“Oh wow, that’s really—”
“Shh,” he whispers. “I’m going to make you feel so good, Sapphire. I know exactly what you need.”
“What I need?” My voice wavers, but then he slams his mouth on mine and everything goes fast.
I groan at his grip on my ribs. I groan harder when his tongue flicks over my sensitive nipple, my face scrunching from pure sensory overload.
His hands make their own trip, fingers skimming softly over the thin fuzz low on my stomach, all while he’s still loving every sensitive spot he can find.
The care he shows me is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
I mean, I’ve had sex hundreds of times. This isn’t sex. This is something else, and I don’t know what to name it. It feels good in a way that hurts.
Yeah, it hurts behind my eyes, forcing my lips into a soft, overwhelmed smile.
Everything I'm feeling gathers in my chest, precisely at the spot he's kissing now, right over my racing heart.
“I listen,” he murmurs, pulling back, lips glistening. “I wait. Your body tells me everything. You need this.”
Fuck me. He’s so honest right now, lowering himself between my thighs. He watches me with a warmth so intense, it makes me wonder if anyone’s ever really seen me before.
He cups my tight balls. His lips brush the tip of my erection, and I press forward, easing into his mouth.
My spine arches as he takes me deep, and all I can feel is pressure and the way he takes every inch. Just fantasising my cock halfway to his stomach has me losing it.
“Fuck, Yosh…” My voice is a raspy groan. “That feels…”
The vibration of his hum blurs my vision into a collection of stars. His tongue circles as he traces his way back up, making it very clear what he likes. And what he wants me to like.
“I want you to watch me,” he whispers, briefly taking my cock out of his mouth, eyes hypnotic as he brushes his cheek along my painfully hard erection. “I want you to see exactly how much I love doing this.”
I nod like a good boy, unable to look away.
His lips slide down again, eyes fluttering shut with a needy sound.
That’s it. I'm officially one foot in the grave.
“God, you look so good doing that. Fuck, love, you’re…”
You're beautiful. You're perfect. You're everything.
I can’t push the words out; they’re stuck somewhere between my throat and my pounding heart. I hope he understands.
He picks up pace, and suddenly I’m feeling everything and nothing at the same time. Fuck, he’s taking me so sloppy and wet right now.
I grab the sheets.
I’m getting so fucking ruined.
And the worst part? I want him to. I want him to see me like this, see exactly what he’s doing to me.
That’s new.
That’s terrifying
But it feels so fucking good.
My legs tremble. I try pulling back to slow things down, but he doesn’t let me.
“I—fuck, Yosh.”
He grabs my hand, squeezing it reassuringly. At this point, I’m pretty sure my grip is stronger, but then he squeezes my hand twice and I come, choking out something fractured that is totally messing up my vocal cords.
My hips continue to fuck his throat in waves, over and over. Part instinct, mostly because he’s encouraging me to do so.
His hand doesn’t stop. His mouth eases as he keeps milking me through the aftershocks, through the urge to curl inward from how good it feels.
When I finally manage to open my eyes, he's right there next to me. His lips are swollen, his smile is shy, but satisfied.
I try to say something, but it dissolves into a breathless laugh and a very British “bloody hell.”
“I know,” he whispers.
He slides effortlessly into my arms, settling in like it’s always been this easy, this simple.
We share a pillow, breathing the same air, his forehead pressing against mine.
“I can’t believe I nearly died a couple of months ago,” I say out loud; it comes with the silent and I would have missed out on all of this’.
He lifts himself up and presses his ear to my chest, eyes closing as he listens. His fingers tap out the rhythm on my ribs, syncing with my heart.
“It’s beating loud,” he whispers, kissing my chest again. “That’s my favourite sound.”
I run my fingers through his silky hair.
“I’ve got a check-up at the hospital next Wednesday. Afternoon slot.”
That gets his attention.
“You want me to come with you? Only if you’re comfortable with that.”
My throat tightens for reasons that have nothing to do with sex.
“Yeah,” I say. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
“Who’s it with? Dr. Martinez? She’s lovely.”
I shrug. “Honestly, no idea. I’ll have to check with Jay. He handles all my appointments. He’s been busy lately, sorting things out for Eli.”
Yosh’s brow lifts. “Eli. Your former bandmate?”
“Yeah. Drummer. Married to my sister Cheryl. He’s touring with his new band, Yellow Lightning.”
No reaction.
“They just headlined Vainwood in LA. Never heard of them?”
“No, sorry. I don’t really keep up with pop culture. I’m doing this thing where I try to focus on island life so I don’t get overwhelmed. My world ends where the breakwater starts.”
“Smart. The world’s a shitty place, the island’s a dream.”
Yosh hums in agreement, rolling back comfortably into my arms.
“So, hospital Wednesday afternoon. I’ll need copies of your echocardiogram and ECG to update your file, plus some bloodwork for comparison. Don’t worry. I’ll advocate for you at the hospital.”
I blink. “Update my file? Are you taking the piss?”
Yosh chuckles. “I know more about you than you think, McKenna. I know you had your appendix removed at twenty-five.”
His fingers follow the faint scar on my belly, sending an involuntary shiver up my spine.
“You’re O negative, same as me. Universal donor, terrible receiver. We’re a rare breed. Probably best we look out for each other. You’re also clear of STIs. Last year’s chlamydia cleared up just fine with antibiotics, so there’s nothing to worry about.”
I bark out a laugh. “Oh fuck. That’s… embarrassing.”
“Don’t feel bad. It happens. I had it back at uni.”
“Wild phase?”
“Something like that.”
His palm stays on my stomach, fingers tracing small, absent circles like he’s soothing me, soothing himself. His face is buried in my neck, the shallow exhales like feather strokes against my skin.
“You like this?” he asks softly.
I nod, overwhelmed by how much I do. “Yeah. Don’t stop.”
His thumb brushes the same spot on my ribs again and again.
No one has ever touched me like this before. Some probably wanted to, but I never allowed anyone to get this close.
I hold him tighter, kiss his temple, breathing in the heavenly mix of jasmine and him.
I can’t name what we’re doing, but I want more of it, because when I’m with him, none of my mess means a thing.
He’s seen every part of me. The worst, the weird, the humiliating. And he’s still here, kissing me like I’m the only thing that matters.