Chapter 40 #3
“Thank you for telling me. I’ll come with you, but we stay honest with each other. If you’re not okay, you say so. No pretending with me.”
“Like you did after SeaBreeze?”
Too late to take my words back.
Do I want to take them back? No.
I’m not asking for much. I’ve made peace with not knowing his whole past, maybe I never will. But honesty is different. It can save us a lot of trouble. And I’d like to keep us out of trouble.
“You’re right. I’ve learned from it. That’s exactly why I don’t want things to go sideways again because of…” He pauses. “Miscommunication.”
That’s a generous way to put it. But since I’m trying this whole being-an-adult thing lately, maybe it’s best not to drag up the past.
I hold out my hand. “Deal.”
“And if I have to keep you on a leash, I will. Gladly.”
There’s a glint in his eyes. I can’t tell if he’s joking or checking how I react.
Should I let him flirt with the idea of chaining me up? Yeah, why not. Let’s see where that goes.
“That’s not exactly unusual in Amsterdam.”
He lifts a brow. “Is that your way of warning me, or inviting me?”
“Depends. Are you the type to follow rules, or the type who looks good breaking them?”
A slow smile tugs at his mouth. “I’m professionally trained to pretend I follow rules.”
I snort. “Likely story. Almost buying it.”
He huffs a laugh, then leans in a fraction. “So what does ‘not unusual’ mean, exactly?”
“It means…no one’s clutches their pearls. People mind their business. And if they don’t…they learn.”
He tilts his head. “Sounds like my kind of city.”
“It’s filthy in the most beautiful way. You’ll hate the weather, though.”
“I can survive bad weather,” he says. “I’m more worried about you.”
“Oh, don’t,” I mumble, my hand finding his wrist. “I’m harmless. On a leash, apparently.”
His gaze drops to my fingers, then back to my face. “Apparently.”
“And what’s your plan,” I ask. “When I bite?”
“Then I’ll remind you who’s holding the leash.”
For a second, I can’t decide if I want to laugh or kiss him.
“You’ve got me speechless. Not many people can do that.”
He shrugs, innocent. “You started it, McKenna.”
“Did I?” I lean closer. “Or are you just enjoying the idea of being the one in control for once?”
His eyes narrow. “Careful.”
“Why?” I whisper.
“Because I’d hate to ruin that little fantasy of yours.”
My cheeks heath again. The guy is putting me on a leash, and I hate my body for snitching.
Yosh’s mouth twitches. He takes a slow sip of his drink and lets the moment pass, giving me an exit.
“So, tell me about it. Your Amsterdam.”
His knee touches mine under the table. Not accidental.
“You’re going to love it. The vibe, the people, the canals. There’s this bakery near my place with all vegan pastries, so—”
I look up mid-sentence and he’s not with me anymore. He’s staring past my shoulder, his face looking like he’s just seen a ghost.
I turn, and there’s Erin, walking right toward our table.
Great. Why the fuck not.
She heads straight for Yosh, heels tapping out a rhythm that pulls on my nerves.
Yosh stands to greet her with two kisses. She turns, looking at me like I’m a rat crawling with fleas.
“Erin,” I say, like we’re old friends. “What a surprise.”
“I could say the same, Tom. I assumed you’d be back in Europe by now.”
Her tone’s as fake as mine. I doubt she’d bother with the performance if she knew I was at her place a few days ago. I guess Laurent hadn’t told her.
“I’m staying on the island. Calvin leaves for Miami next week and someone has to take care of those lazy dogs of his.”
She pretends I’m air and turns back to Yosh.
“How’s the construction at your place? Any progress?”
“They’re starting tomorrow. Bathroom first. Kitchen after. The rest still needs planning.”
“Good. I’d love to stop by and see how it’s coming along.”
Yosh nods, polite. The smile he gives her could win awards.
Why is she still here?
“But…you’ll need to be back right after New Year’s.”
Yosh straightens. “Why? My leave runs until mid-January. HR approved it months ago.”
“I know. It’s just that Nils is leaving on the thirty-first. We need someone to lead the department.”
There it is.
I look at Yosh.
No. Don’t tell me.
He got it. Not cockroach Terrence.
“Oh my God, Yosh! Congratulations.” I’m already pushing back my chair to hug him. He’s worked his ass off for this.
Then I see his face, and the excitement drains straight out of me.
“I don’t want the position.”
“Excuse me?” Erin snaps.
“I don’t want it,” he says again. “I’m done with the extra hours and overtime. I’d rather spend my days off surfing, doing stuff with friends. Give the position to Terrence, or anyone else. I really don’t care anymore.”
I take his words in with a nod. It makes sense, but I know him well enough to realize this is massive.
When we first met, he lived for work. Always studying, always pushing, always chasing a better version of himself. I admired that, but later I realized he’d been running from loneliness.
So I’ve made it my mission to get him out of that cycle. He can ease up, and I can get my act together. Somewhere in the middle, we meet.
I know it sounds a bit cliché, but I believe that between his discipline and my lack of it, there’s a version of us that works.
Right now, I want to tell him how brave this is, but Erin is still standing at our table.
“Honey, haven’t you heard?” she says, more serious now. “Terrence got arrested.”
It takes a few seconds for the information to reach the right part of my brain, but then my jaw drops on its own.
No fucking way.
I exchange a look with Yosh. He stares back, just as shocked.
Yosh coughs. “What the hell happened?”
Erin scans the place, then drags a chair over and settles in beside him.
“There’s an ongoing police investigation into drug smuggling on the island.
Arcadia’s been on their radar for a while, that’s why they raided the place last Monday.
Apparently, Terrence was bringing cocaine in through the beach.
Raynor would pick it up out on the water, and Terrence made sure it moved through the front door without raising suspicion.
I never would’ve guessed the two of them were working together. ”
Yosh falls quiet, and I can’t tell what’s going through his head. Would he have known? I mean, Raynor is Deep Diver, his fuck buddy of two years. Maybe there were signs?
Then something hits my mind.
“When the police interrogated me, they asked me questions that didn’t add up. Like if I used cocaine, and if I’d caught something strange at the beach during my stay. It all makes sense now.”
Erin’s head snaps toward me. “Really? They questioned you about that?”
I nod, replaying last Sunday and Monday in my mind. All this time, I’d assumed everything was connected. It made perfect sense; the drugs in Yosh’s drink, the raid the next day. But apparently, I’d got it wrong.
Terrence had no idea that when he’d drugged Yosh, the clinic would be under investigation within hours.
Two separate incidents lining up perfectly. Or maybe not? If life in society’s underclass taught me anything, it’s that there’s no such thing as both coincidence and perfection. It’s always one or the other. So which was this? Pure chance, or too perfect to ignore?
I look at Erin. She rests her hand on Yosh’s shoulder in a way I do not like at all. Especially when her fingers dig possessively into his shirt.
“I have to go. I’m having dinner with my cousins. Take some time to reconsider the position. I’ll call you this week, sweetie.”
She kisses Yosh goodbye, then gives me one last look.
“Safe trip home, Tom.”
I scoff once she’s out of earshot. That sounded a bit too insisting.
Yosh rubs his eyes with the heels of his palms, letting out a frustrated sound.
“How am I ever going to tell her I’m in a relationship with you?”
“That woman hates me to the bone.”
Even as I say it, I can’t quite figure out why. She welcomed me with open arms when I first arrived at Arc, but everything changed after that night I met her for a smoke on the beach.
That was when I’d seen her for what she really is.
Maybe she can’t stand that I see straight through her bullshit, but compared to Jay, her little power play is almost cute. Nothing I can’t handle.
We fall quiet for a moment, only murmuring a polite thanks when our food arrives.
I pick up the cutlery and smirk.
“So, your nemesis and your ex both got arrested. Sounds like a bad joke, doesn’t it?”
Yosh sighs, dragging his fork through the jasmine rice.
“I always knew Terrence would end up in trouble, but Deep Diver? No way. He’s always been a good guy. Happy, laid-back. I thought the ocean was all he needed.”
“I guess the cliché is true. You can know someone for years and still have no idea what’s going on beneath the surface.”
Oh, he gets the pun. Next thing I know, he kicks me in the shin. Still, he can’t hide the little smile tugging at his mouth.
“Let’s focus on you and me,” he says, offering his fork with a piece of grilled mahi-mahi.
I lean in for a bite.
Salty, sharp with lime, still a bit hot from the grill.
He watches me, waiting for a verdict, eyes softer than expected for someone who just kicked me under the table. He’s right, this is all that matters now.
“Not bad. I’ll choose dessert anyway.”
For once, nothing comes back my way. He looks at me and says, “I love you, Tom.”
I reach for his hand, tracing the faint blue veins beneath his skin with my thumb.
One look is all it takes for us to stop caring. Our fingers lace together.
“I love you too, Yosh. I love you so fucking much.”
Later that night, we head back to Palm Oasis.
I park in the garage, tell Jay I’m going to bed, and bribe Calvin’s dogs with a steak I ordered for takeaway.
Ten minutes later, I’m slipping out through the secret gate into Oscar’s garden, climbing straight into Yosh’s rental. He drives us to a hidden cove where we lay our towels out on the sand.
The second his lips find mine, the world fades.
It’s just us and the desperate need to devour.
Out there in the open, we make love underneath the swimming sea of stars.
Slow and careful, tipping into not careful at all.
We move with the waves, faster and more desperate with each thrust. Sand sticking. Skinny dipping.
We don’t stop until the dark vanishes and the sky turns everything cream and turquoise.
My hand stays tangled in his hair, his fingers tracing idle patterns across my chest. My shoulder makes the most comfortable pillow, he says.
We talk. About Amsterdam. About staying in Avalon. About Christmas at Heatherfell. About a future neither of us would have dared to imagine a month ago.
The sunrise is unreal. But it’s the way he looks at me that makes it the most beautiful one I’ve ever seen.