Chapter 31
31
‘What’s got you so rosy-cheeked?’ Valérie says on Tuesday when I practically slide into work on a cloud after another flirty text exchange with Henri early this morning.
‘A full eight hours’ sleep and the required amount of water to stay hydrated is my best guess.’ I give her a dazzling smile that I just can’t seem to swallow down. I’m beaming and cannot contain it. Even the email from Eloise’s principal confirming the upcoming mediation with Léa’s family hasn’t dulled my shine.
‘You are a very bad liar.’
I laugh. ‘Yes!’
‘Love has found you, just like I predicted, non ?’ She gives me a maternal smile like she’s proud of me, which is rather sweet.
‘I love Paris.’ Henri and I agreed to keep our dating on the downlow while we get to know each other better. That way, if it doesn’t work out, we won’t have to explain ourselves and we can just pretend it never happened. Everything is sweet though, and the world is in full technicolour, until my phone alerts with a reminder. I hate having to ask for time off, especially as I’m the only help Valérie has during the week but it can’t be avoided .
‘Is it possible to leave early tomorrow? I’ve got a meeting at Eloise’s school. I can make up the hours by coming in at the weekend, or skipping lunch?’
‘You shouldn’t keep skipping lunch. No need to make it up, you stay later when it’s busy so I actually owe you. And it’s family first here, you know that. Is everything OK?’
‘She’s being bullied and now they’re trying to turn it around on her. It’s upsetting to say the least.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that. I’m surprised we haven’t seen Eloise in here. I thought she wanted to study in the bookshop after school.’
‘That’s my fault too. She’s avoiding me after I called the school and intervened. I’m currently going through a long spell of the silent treatment.’
Valérie pats my hand. ‘It does get better. This monstrous age soon passes.’
I inhale the hope of such a thing. ‘Soon?’
She laughs. ‘Soon enough. Next she’ll be at university, working or travelling abroad and you’ll remember this time fondly.’
Eloise on a beach in some tropical country flashes in my mind’s eye and a week ago that would have given me heart palpitations, but now I sort of understand a little better. Maybe it’s me having something joyful in my own life, or at least the beginning of it with Henri, but my entire focus for once is not on my daughter, who doesn’t want that attention from me, or maybe it’s just a realisation that she’s not a small child any more and one day soon she’ll be an adult and I’ll have to let her go. Have to let her make bad choices and learn from her mistakes. Have to let her have fun, even if she chooses to holiday on a beach in a country far away. Is it a signal that it’s OK for me to want more for myself too ?
Not just work. Not just Eloise. Chasing my own happiness even with all my past mistakes so close they’re still sitting in my shadow. We’re all learning as we go, we’re all imperfect.
It’s not a crime to want to find love. To hope a man loves me so much he proposes. Why can’t I wish for the fairytale happy-ever-after in my own life?
All this musing about life and love and letting go reminds me. ‘How is Agnes? Henri said they suspected she had a heart attack?’
Valérie’s smile turns into a frown. ‘ Oui , they confirmed she did suffer a minor heart attack. She’s blaming the rich French food, of course.’
‘Oh, Agnes ! Will she be all right?’
Valérie lifts a tray of glasses from the dishwasher. ‘She will be. They’ve put her on medication and suggested she lose some weight and cut back her red wine consumption.’
‘How did she take that news?’
‘Not too well.’
‘Henri suggested that we get the book club together to visit her. Do you think she’d like that or would she actively despise the intrusion?’
Valérie takes a tea towel from the rack and lifts up a cocktail glass to polish. ‘She will pretend to hate it, but secretly she’ll love every minute. It’s a great idea and she could really use her friends at the moment.’
‘What’s the story with the cold, callous husband?’
Valérie frowns. ‘He is a cold fish. I’ve always suspected Agnes’s marriage wasn’t a happy one, but I still got the surprise of my life, finding him at home like that. Not a care in the world, watching… well, you don’t need all the details. The man is a dictator, ruling her every move, did you know that?’
I can’t imagine anyone dictating to Agnes. ‘Really?’
‘Really. Right down to the type of books she reads. All that protesting she does about modern books – that’s his influence, but I didn’t ever want to mention it, so keep that quiet. I’ve probably made things much worse for her when she gets home, but I told him what I thought about men like him, and none of it was positive.’
My chest tightens with the thought of Agnes living with a man like that. ‘Why does she stay?’
‘Why does anyone? Loyalty, probably. Agnes is a steadfast sort. Maybe also fear of the unknown. Her age might be a factor. Anyway, it’s not for me to guess, but I will be giving her some advice when she feels better. No one deserves to be dictated to.’
The scenario reminds me of some of the poems in Un Baiser D’adieu . Did Agnes recognise her own situation in them? There’s fire in Valérie’s eyes. It’s almost as if she’s reliving her own past. Did she once have a controlling husband too? ‘Will she listen to you, do you think?’
Valérie guffaws. ‘I’m not sure. His control is so ingrained, but I have an idea that might appeal and I’m going to ask her because sometimes the greatest thing you can do for a person is offer the hand of genuine friendship and let them know they have a soft spot to land when all else fails.’