Chapter 26
26
Joe’s words hung in the air as the boat continued on down the River Seine. I stared at Joe as he watched me.
I came to get you back.
‘I know you have missed me too,’ Joe said then. He reached out and touched my cheek. ‘Haven’t you?’
My skin warmed to his touch, the familiarity of it confusing me for a moment. Looking into his eyes on this romantic boat trip was seductive. Like the past two months could be erased if I leaned into him. But did I actually want them erased? I thought about Ethan then and I leaned away from Joe’s touch. ‘I’ve been here with Ethan,’ I said, avoiding answering his question directly.
‘Well, Ethan has always wanted everything that I have,’ Joe said. ‘He has really low self-esteem. He’s always been jealous of me. Has he said anything about you two carrying on after Paris?’
‘Um…’ I didn’t know what to say. We hadn’t exactly made any promises to each other. I knew Ethan had compared himself to Joe in the past, he’d admitted it and questioned whether he co uld be my type after I’d been with Joe. But I knew our kisses had been real. He wasn’t with me because of Joe.
I really hope not anyway.
‘Besides,’ Joe said, carrying on when I failed to respond. ‘It’s not like you’ll get much time together when he moves here, and you’re in London.’
‘Why would Ethan move to Paris?’
‘To open a restaurant with Juliette,’ Joe said with a shrug. ‘Here.’ He held out the champagne and re-filled our empty glasses.
‘What do you mean?’ Whenever they had talked about it, neither Ethan nor Juliette had mentioned their restaurant would be in Paris, and besides that, I knew Ethan didn’t want to do anything about opening their own place until he’d paid back the money Joe’s father had lent him to study to be a chef.
‘That’s what I came to tell Ethan,’ Joe said. ‘I wasn’t lying, I did need to talk to him but I decided to come to Paris instead of call him so I could see you too. Ethan told my dad that he wanted to pay back the money he’d lent him years ago and my dad had been thinking about it. He finally told me the full story and said I could tell Ethan.’ Joe paused to sip his champagne, and I did the same. ‘Ethan’s mum inherited money from her parents and put some of it into an account for Ethan without him knowing. When she became ill, she went to my dad and asked him to take the account over and use it if he needed it. She didn’t want Ethan to spend it and end up in financial trouble like his father had done. She was adamant Ethan shouldn’t know about it until he turned thirty when my father could hand it over, and he’d be responsible enough to handle it.’
‘Oh,’ I said, thinking Ethan must have been shocked to hear this. ‘So, your father dipped into it when Ethan said he wanted to study to be a chef? ’
‘Exactly. So when Ethan said he wanted to pay the money back before he could open his own restaurant, my father decided to come clean about the whole thing. The money left in the account is more than enough for Ethan to do what he wants.’
‘Wow. What did Ethan say?’ I asked, wishing he had replied to my message and told me all of this himself. He could finally make his dream come true. I was so happy for him. And Juliette too.
‘He rushed off to tell Juliette the news. He was already talking about quitting his job in London so they can get started. Maybe he’ll work at her family’s place until they find their own place.’
‘So they want to open somewhere here in Paris?’
‘I thought he would have told you that.’
I slipped into silence. When Ethan and Juliette had talked about it, neither had said where they wanted the restaurant to be. I had no idea why I had assumed it would be in London when Juliette’s life was here in Paris. Suddenly, it seemed Ethan and I could never be anything more than a holiday thing.
‘Tessa, isn’t this, just us two here, good? We could have this all the time.’
And it was good. A romantic boat trip in Paris. Us two with champagne. Joe, handsome and charming, paying me attention and making me feel special. This had been why I had moved in with him after only six weeks. Why I had fallen so quickly and hard for him. Why Carly said I’d been so impulsive after meeting him. ‘But this isn’t real life,’ I said. ‘We had romantic dates but you didn’t let me into your life. You didn’t want me to meet your friends, you would never bring me home to your family, I was kept away from your colleagues. We were in this little bubble of us two because you knew if you let me into your life, I’d realise I wasn’t the person you were planning to have a future with.’
Joe reached for me then but I pulled back. He sighed but didn’t try again. ‘I kept you away from people who might tell you about Rachel. Like Ethan. He gave me so much shit… but he doesn’t get it. What it’s like to have all this pressure to do what your family wants. I won’t let them make me be with someone I don’t want to be with though. Rachel and I are over. I promise, Tessa.’ He took my hand in his and squeezed it. ‘You are who I want a future with.’
He was saying things I had longed for him to say. The night I saw him with Rachel, I had been so angry and upset but I had hoped he might follow me and beg me to stay, to say he chose me not her, but he hadn’t. ‘Why are you saying this now?’
‘Because now I know what it’s like to lose you,’ Joe replied.
Oh God, the way he is looking at me…
The boat driver called behind him then to say the trip was almost over and he steered the boat back towards where we had got on it earlier. My head was spinning with everything Joe had said along with the glasses of bubbly. My heart was starting to remember falling for Joe. And I really didn’t want it to.
When we climbed out of the boat, Joe took my hand but he didn’t let it go as we stood by the edge of the river together. He turned to face me. ‘Do I have any chance of getting you to forgive me? Of making things up to you? Of us trying again? We can’t let those six months go, can we?’
I hesitated as I looked into his eyes. I tried not to think about the good times or how it had felt to be in his arms. I tried to remember the hurt, but him looking at me like that, the boat trip, the fact we were in Paris and the disappointment in my chest thinking that there was no chance of me and Ethan really starting something made me unsure what to say to Joe right now .
Joe reached out to touch my cheek and this time, I didn’t pull away. He kept his eyes on mine and moved down to touch my lips. ‘I really did miss us, Tessa,’ he said.
‘I have missed us too,’ I admitted then. I had missed what I thought we had.
Can we actually have it for real this time with Rachel out of the picture?
Joe smiled, looking pleased, and he leaned down. I was rooted to the spot, confused and unsure, but I was also curious what it would feel like to kiss him again. He moved his hand to the back of my head, drawing me closer, and his lips found mine. Muscle memory crept in. My mouth knew what his felt like. My body responded to his touch like there hadn’t been a two-month gap and I found myself kissing him back, losing myself for a moment.
Just when I realised what I was doing and was starting to pull back, Joe abruptly leaned away from me. ‘Oh, hi mate,’ he said, letting me go as he spoke to someone behind me.
I turned around and my stomach dropped to see Ethan standing right by us, shock and pain on his face.