Chapter 4 #2
Gently taking the hand holding the recipe card, he brought it to his chest. “Would my heartbeat feel like this if I were purely amused? Madison, I’m trying to keep on an even keel right now so I don’t freak you out or make you run out of the room.”
She shoved at him half-heartedly. “I’m not running anymore—I know how to weigh risk. Set ground rules. Although I am a little freaked out. Dammit, here goes.” Yanking back the recipe, she opened the folded halves. “I will date you or be with you or whatever the hell you want to call it.”
He nearly pulled her off her barstool and crushed her to him. “You will?” he asked stupidly. “I thought persuading you to be with me would be like taking Normandy Beach or climbing Kilimanjaro.”
She licked her dry lips, devastating him. “Hang on. I’m not finished. It still might be like climbing a mountain. We don’t know how it’ll be between us, once we cross the line. It had better be freaking great, given how much we’re risking.”
He coughed out a laugh. “It will be.”
“You don’t know yet.” She waved the recipe in the air, looking a little crazed.
“Hell, I don’t know yet. I haven’t had a long-term relationship since I was pretty much a starry-eyed kid, and look how that ended.
It turned me into Fifth Course, the cheese plate.
Even Nanine can’t put lipstick on this pig, as they say.
I’m an acquired taste. I’m too strong and off-putting sometimes.
You were with Tanning Bed Barbie. You might hate being with me. ”
“Tanning Bed Barbie?” He couldn’t help laughing at her description of Paisley. “You’re right. But look how that turned out! Me, breaking things off with my fiancée and then needing you to sweep in and kiss me to make that stalker go away.”
“I am never being a Good Samaritan again! That kiss changed everything.”
He caught her flailing hands. “I’m glad it did, but I have a feeling we would have ended up here anyway.”
She tried to yank her hands away. “Maybe. We’ll never know. Let my hands go. I’m trying to read my conditions.”
Caressing her hands briefly, he let them slide silkily from his. “Ah…I see where you’re going with this. Contracts are my specialty. All right, lay the clauses on me, but know I’ll have my own.”
She slapped her hand to her forehead. “There’s a shock. Now pay attention. I can make a copy so you’ll have a reference.”
His shoulders were shaking, which earned him another playful swat. “I have a good memory. Go.”
“First, whatever happens, we stay friends.” She glared at him.
“I mean it! I’ll do my part, and I’ll believe you if you tell me you will too.
If either of us decide this isn't working, we’ll shrug it off somehow and close that door forever.
I am not losing you or our family or this business.
And I’m not losing my shot at a Michelin star either. I can’t.”
Since he didn’t believe it was going to head that way, he could agree. “You have my word.”
“Good.” She blew out another huge breath.
“Next up. Despite what Thea said, I’m most concerned about my cooking.
If it worsens and hurts our chances at the star, I need to know right away.
I want us to hire a former Michelin inspector who will eat at the restaurant without me or the staff’s knowledge at least twice a week to gauge how our relationship might be affecting my cooking. ”
He could feel his jaw pop.
“Here’s why.” She stood, wringing her hands.
“The Michelin inspectors come more than once to the restaurant before making their committee-like decision. If my skills slip—and I’m hoping it won’t be by much after all my years of working in a Michelin-starred restaurant in Miami—I’ll have time to pivot and rectify them for the remaining time leading up to the announcement mid-March. ”
God, he couldn’t fault her plan. Or her logic. “What if you’re totally rocking a new level?”
“Then we keep dating.” Her golden eyes gleamed with worry.
“Kyle, we’re taking a huge leap. This redundancy ensures I don’t mess up what we’ve all been working toward.
I can’t let myself down. Or Nanine. Or our roommates.
Or you. We’ve put blood, sweat, and tears into bringing Nanine’s restaurant back from the dead. ”
His heart thudded in his chest as he stared at her. He finally let himself nod in agreement. “All right. I’ll hire the person and keep it from you and the staff somehow.”
“Good.” She swallowed thickly. “Next…you will not distract me during work hours. That means no coming around in all your smoldering wonderfulness, pumping your sexy scent into my kitchen.”
His ego liked that line. “My smoldering wonderfulness—”
“Shut up. You know how you are. GQ will probably have you on speed dial at some point if you get any more successful.”
“Thank you. I plan to.”
“Of course you do,” she continued, “and you will. You’re a brilliant restaurateur. Now, as I was saying. You will not text me anything salacious or sext me in any way while I’m working.”
He shifted in his chair. Texting her something naughty had never occurred to him. Suddenly his whole world was opening up. “But after work is okay?”
“Probably.” She grabbed a pen and added a question mark beside what he imagined was that condition.
“I don’t really touch my phone much. But if we do text, no eggplants or cucumbers or whatever vegetables and fruits people are using these days.
I’m a chef, and I think that whole emoji world is moronic.
You text me an eggplant, I’m thinking, slice it, salt it, and then blend it into something like baba ghanoush. Don’t get me started on cucumbers.”
He tried to make a grab for her, which she easily evaded with a swiveling of her chair. “Oh, Madison, it’s no wonder I love you. All right, no food emojis for sex.”
“Not funny, Kyle,” she said as he tried desperately to stop laughing. “I’m dead serious.”
He was like a kid at a party sucking helium from the balloons. “I know you are, Mad, but I’m feeling pretty giddy right now since I can meet every condition you’ve listed.”
“Good.” She edged away again. “I’m almost finished. You will not distract me or exhaust me.”
That silenced his mirth. “Point of clarification. What does not exhaust me mean? Because I’m going to want to make love with you well into the night. Right now, I can’t promise I can have you once and then let you go.”
She shivered, her throat moving delicately as she swallowed. “I didn’t mean that exactly—although one of us might need to be practical if I start falling asleep during the dinner hour. I meant that I don’t want you to make demands on me. Stuff like that.”
Tricky items for her. He could hear all her baggage riding that condition. “Tell me more about what kinds of demands you mean.”
Slapping the recipe card against her knee, she fought to meet his eyes. “Don’t laugh.”
He crossed his heart. “Never.”
Nodding, she worried her lip a moment more before saying, “I don’t want you asking me to go to things you know I won’t like, or expecting me to dress or act more like a girl.
I wear black. I have short hair. I don’t like dresses or skirts.
Or heels. I will put something nice on that isn’t my high-tops to go out, but it’s usually black boots.
And I hate makeup. The mascara always gets in my eyes and makes them burn, and when I put it on, I feel—”
Another story hung heavy in the air. His heart pulsed with more hurt for the girl she’d been. But he knew not to reach for her or press her more. She was struggling enough.
“I don’t feel like myself with all that goop on my face,” she finally finished, huffing out a long breath.
“Oh, and no PDA in front of our friends. I don’t want Nanine knowing.
Having Thea catch us was mortifying enough.
Sure, they all know about the whole Operation Madison thing, but I don’t want us playing footsie under the table during Drink and Divulge. ”
Okay, that hurt. “What happens when we finally agree things are going really great between us and that it’s making your cooking even better?”
Her eyes flitted away before coming back to his. “Should we both feel like we’re a lock, then we can talk about changing the status quo.”
Her hesitant admission blew his heart wide open. “All right. We’ll do it that way for now and revisit it when the time comes.”
She slapped the recipe card down on the counter. “Circling back for absolute clarity’s sake… You’re agreeing to all my conditions?”
Very slowly, so she would know what he planned, he eased his hands onto her shoulders. She didn’t push him away, so he settled them gently around her slender arms. “I am.”
“Are you sure?” she pressed, that wary glint visible in her gaze. “I know some of them aren’t easy. You can’t change your mind, Kyle.”
He squeezed her shoulders, wishing he could pull her to his chest. But not yet. “I’m sure. Don’t you know by now that I love you because of who you are and how you are? I wouldn’t change anything about you.”
She started rocking a little in place. “You’re going to want me to say the whole I love you thing a lot, aren’t you?”
His whole frame stilled. “You can say it or not say it as you want. Deep down I know how you feel. I always have. Friends, remember?”
Leaning closer, she lowered her gaze, but he felt the soft woman he’d so rarely had a chance to see until now. “I do love you. It’s just hard for me to say it all lovey dovey like. But I’ll try. No, forget that. There is no try. I’ll work on saying it more.”
This time he had to cup her cheek and raise her face to his. “That’s perfect. I appreciate it. Now, are you ready to hear my conditions?”
“Damn, I was kinda hoping you wouldn’t have any.”
They shared a conspiratorial grin before they both laughed.
She finally nodded shakily. “Shoot.”