Chapter 20
A lthough I’ve never believed in any form of powerful entity controlling our lives from above, watching the woman deeply asleep next to me makes me wonder if someone isn’t pulling strings somewhere. It’s easier to believe in that than to think of the countless parameters that led Andrea into my life. She’s too perfect for me, too perfect at all, to be the result of millions of small coincidences.
I opened the curtains enough to let some light in and admire her, peacefully sleeping after our insatiable night. She’s hugging the pillow, her beautiful face scrunched against it. Unable to resist, I graze the curve of her neck, marveling at the softness of her skin. The fact that every single decision she’s ever made led her right here, to my bed… is mind-blowing. Inching closer, I kiss the skin I caressed. My sleepy little dork.
It’s either my stirring or the kiss, but her eyebrows twist. She stretches a little, and her eyes open only for a fraction of a second, but enough to see me because she mumbles with a raspy voice, “Has it been twenty-four hours yet?”
I check the clock behind me and say, “It’s been six hours and thirty-four minutes.”
“Ugh, that’s not enough,” she laments before hugging the pillow harder.
Now that she’s awake, I come closer and plaster myself onto her.
“Were you watching me sleep?” she mumbles
“Mh-hm …”
“It’s not fair, you can’t do that.”
“Why?”
“You can’t look at me when I’m a drooly snoring mess and can’t do anything about it. ”
I laugh and kiss her shoulder again, grazing her messy hair. “You weren’t drooling.”
She opens her eyes for good to frown at me. “Are you implying I was snoring?”
“You’re the one who mentioned it.”
When she tries to shove my shoulder with a scandalized giggle, I grab her hand and press a longing kiss on its palm. That’s all it takes for her to let go of that damn pillow and move into my arms instead. She lies there with a smile as I press my lips on every inch of skin I can access—up her arm, her throat, her face, her chest…
“You realize you shot yourself in the foot, right?” she asks after a moment of this.
“I did?”
“There’s no way anything will ever top that date. It can only go downhill from now on.”
A chuckle comes in the way of my amorous exploration, but I’m quick to resume it. Unavoidably, my enterprise leads me further south, where there’s more skin to worship.
“Careful,” she says when I reach her belly button.
“Of what?”
“My pussy might actually hiss at you if you get too close.”
This time, I laugh frankly and return to her level.
“At least feed me before you try to fuck me again,” she suggests.
Ah, there’s the raccoon I love. “I actually ordered a bunch of things while you were asleep.”
“You did?”
“Pancakes, French toast, bacon, eggs… I also ordered croissants and other pastries, in case you’d rather have something sweet.”
“You’re what’s sweet,” she appreciatively says, leaning in for a kiss.
I eagerly give it to her and then say, “I’ll get a tray with everything.”
“Wait, it’s already here?”
“Yeah, it arrived half an hour ago. I kept it warm in the oven.”
“God, you really are perfect.” We exchange another kiss and I slip out of the sheets.
“Did you seriously get out of bed, dress up to get the food, and then get naked again before coming back in?” she wonders.
“What makes you say I didn’t receive the food like this?”
I pick up the sweatpants I laid over a chair, and as I slip them on, she mutters. “You better not have, Coleman. All that is for my eyes only.”
“And for your mouth only, too. And pussy.”
“Good boy,” she approves, wriggling further into the covers.
In the kitchen, I take the biggest tray I own and start filling it with everything I can think of. Not only does she like to eat, but she very much needs it right now. When I return with it, she isn’t in the bedroom, but she returns from the bathroom as I set the tray on the bed, wearing the T-shirt I removed from her yesterday.
“Okay, that’s all the walking I can do today. Bed to bathroom and bathroom to bed,” she explains as she walks toward me.
“What if we have an emergency and need to leave the building?” I humor.
“Then you’ll have to carry me. That’s what you get for giving me seventeen orgasms, Alexander.”
I chuckle at her scolding tone. “That’s a fair price. I’ll willingly pay it in the future, too.”
“We’re never doing that again, Lex. I lost at least ten years of life.”
She sits cross-legged on the bed in front of the tray, and her fingers do a happy dance as she takes in everything there is. We eat and talk, enjoying each other’s company in this simple moment of sharing.
“Are you still into comic books?” she wonders after a moment.
“I’m not as much of a reader, but still a collector.”
“Really? You have a collection?”
I nod. “Most of them are here, a few are in a vault, and some from my childhood are in family estates.”
“You have comic books in a vault ?”
“Only the ones worth several hundred thousand dollars.”
Her jaw drops as if she forgot I’m filthy rich , as she put it. But she quickly gets over it and asks, “Would you show me the ones you have here?”
“Of course.”
Since we’re done eating, I stand up from the bed, remove the tray to set it on a chest of drawers, and return to pick her up.
“Lex, what are you doing?!” she giggles as I gather her onto my chest.
“Isn’t my penance to carry you around for any trip farther than the bathroom?”
“I didn’t mean it that literally. Put me down, I can walk,” she giggles, wrapping an arm around my neck.
“I’d rather you save your energy for later.” She immediately gets what I mean, and her cheeks redden at the idea of later .
I carry her out into the hallway until we reach my home office. Since my hands are busy, she opens the door for me and looks at everything with unmasked curiosity when we step in.
“You’ve never given me a proper tour of the place,” she notes.
“You’re always too eager to get in my pants.”
“It was the novelty. I’m over it now. ”
I chuckle and shake my head. “I’ll give you the full tour after this if you want.”
“Of what’s in your pants?”
“Of my apartment.”
“Ah, I’d like that, too.”
She opens the sliding double doors facing my desk, revealing the collection to her. The bright room is neatly organized with white cabinets and shelves, hundreds of shallow drawers, pedestals for collectibles, and framed originals hanging in places. Aside from the comics, the only touch of color is a red chaise lounge in the center of the room, with a sleek, modern design. Between the perfectly adjusted lights and the immaculate whiteness, I’ve always thought this looked like science fiction decor.
As I carefully set her down, Andrea practically has stars in her eyes. She immediately begins exploring, walking around in nothing but my T-shirt. She’s so silent and spellbound that one might think she’s in a church.
“The comics on the shelves are common and don’t have much value,” I explain. “The most important pieces are in the drawers. A pair of gloves is on the table by the door, which is mandatory if you want to touch them.”
She turns to me, surprised. “You mean I can read them if I want?”
“Yes, except the ones in mint condition. But those are usually available in hardcovers.”
“Lex, this is insane. I had no idea you were that into comics.”
“It was a very meaningful and important interest of mine when I was a kid. It was my form of escapism, a way to learn wrongs and rights. But then I discovered coding, which became another special interest that eventually replaced comics. I haven’t read one in ages or purchased a new one in months. This collection is in honor of what those books meant to me.”
“I see… Did you have a favorite series, so I know where to start?”
I don’t have to think about it for long before I lead her to the shelf with the series that had the most impact on me. When she sees it, she laughs. “Of course you, Lex , love a series where Superman dies…”
I chuckle, slightly embarrassed by the coincidence. “I was eight when I read it, and it completely flipped my world upside down. Superman, the invincible hero I admired, died, and it completely wrecked me.”
“I can imagine the shock, yes.” She looks around the room, still surprised by it all, and turns to me with amusement. “You realize this makes you a much bigger dork than me, right?”
“It takes one to know one, doesn’t it? ”
She laughs with a shake of her head, then looks at the shelf, somehow disappointed. “I was hoping I could get you a few comic books for Saturday, but that’s not an option anymore…”
“Andrea, I don’t need anything for my birthday. Just you.”
“Well, you have me any day of the year, so that kinda sucks as a gift.” She seems to have an epiphany and says, “Oh, maybe we could do your favorite sex thing!”
Well, sex with her is my favorite thing, so it’s the same issue, isn’t it? “I don’t think we can,” I counter.
Whatever she thinks I mean, it makes her cheeks turn pink while her fingers fidget with the hem of her T-shirt. “I mean… We can talk about it, but I’m willing to try pretty much anything. The one thing I can’t do is tit fucking, I guess,” she carefully says, looking down at her flat chest.
“Well, that’s bad luck…” When she looks up, the disappointment in her eyes tells me just how wrong of a joke it was, so I quickly add, “I’m kidding. I don’t particularly like that.”
Only partially relieved, she gives my shoulder a jab. “You asshole.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
She tries to resist when I pull her into my arms, but the moment my lips meet her throat, she stops. “Then what did you mean, ‘we can’t do your favorite thing?’ Did you mean… anal?”
The pure arousal at the idea of fucking her like that makes my cock swell. I’d definitely love to try that with her.
“Because I’ve heard couples can prepare for it,” she hesitantly continues. “And if we’re careful, may—”
“Would you let me fuck your amazing ass, Andrea?” I cut her off, overwhelmed by the thought.
“Well, maybe not anymore, no. You lost that privilege when you made fun of my boobs.”
“ You made fun of them. I’ve already told you I love them and don’t mind their size as long as they’re attached to you.”
“It’s still a sensitive topic. Don’t you remember I broke a man’s nose once?”
“I do.”
“Then you should be more careful. I’d hate to mess up your perfect face.”
I chuckle at her fierceness and make her turn in my arms. “I’d rather not have my nose broken again, so I’ll be more diplomatic in the future.”
“You broke your nose?” She passes a finger down its bridge, looking for a sign of the injury.
“Someone broke it, actually. ”
“A vengeful ex?”
“Some guy at Harvard.”
“What happened?”
“I had the brilliant idea to dismantle his entire thesis in front of an audience. Tact and sensitivity were never my forte, so I didn’t realize how humiliating it must have been for him to have a sixteen-year-old boy tell him off the way I did.”
“What an asshole…” She pulls me down and gives my nose a small kiss as if she can undo the past pain and damage.
“At least I got a good lesson out of it,” I dismissively say. “I’ve since learned to analyze and compare every social interaction. I take from life and experiences and try not to make the same mistake twice.”
“Like some sort of deep learning algorithm? It must be exhausting.”
“I have a brain that allows it. And it’s better than getting punched every time I misread a situation.”
“My poor baby…” she says, pulling me down for a proper kiss this time.
“Should we move on with the tour?” I suggest as I pull away.
“Good idea. Then, straight back to bed.”
I pick her up despite her giggles and how she tries to stop me. I enjoy having her in my arms too much to give up on carrying her around all day. We go through the two spare bedrooms and their bathrooms, the utility room, the media room I never use… She refuses to go out on the balcony, arguing it’s too cold, and we end the tour in the living area.
“Okay, your place is much bigger than I thought,” she says as I let her down again. “When the time comes, I’m definitely the one moving in.”
Although she only meant it as a harmless joke, it brings a plethora of implications I wasn’t ready for yet. This is serious now. We are serious. She will eventually move in with me because it’s the natural order of things. And one day, I’ll ask her to marry me, and maybe, if she wants to, she’ll have my children. This isn’t just taking it one day at a time and living life as it comes. We’re past that. We’re starting a future together. The rest of our lives.
Kevin’s words come back to me—about having to tell Andrea and her right to make an informed decision. I understand where he’s coming from, and I agree with it. But the mere idea of telling her makes my throat swell with anxiety. What if this is a deal-breaker? What if that’s another one of her hard limits? What if she panics and tells someone else ?
I’ve never told anyone aside from Kevin. Shelly probably knows as well because he can’t keep secrets from her, but that’s it. Only two people know, and that already feels like too much.
Because I haven’t replied to her joke, Andrea starts thinking something is wrong, so she nervously tries to backpedal with, “I mean, can you imagine moving in with me and Tami? It would be—”
“There’s another room,” I impulsively cut her off.
She has to know. Not telling her would be another betrayal, and I refuse to do that to her. She deserves better. And whatever she decides, I’ll accept it.
No matter how hard it might be, I’ll let her go if that’s what she wants.
L ex is acting weird, and I wish I’d turned my tongue seven times before speaking. Why the hell did I talk about moving in? Last night was literally our first actual date, and here I am, already bringing up the big commitment conversation.
You idiot … Everything was going so well, and we were having such a nice time. And now…
“Oh, another room?” I repeat, my voice uneven.
Lex sounds nervous as he says, “Yes. Iris, open the hidden door.”
The robotic voice replies with, “I’m sorry, my protocol forbids me from opening the door while someone else is in—”
“Override, code A, twenty-four, ninety-nine.”
“Code approved. Now opening the hidden door.”
I’m more than confused now. I’m full-on discombobulated. What the fuck is ha—
To my right, something moves. I turn in time to see the huge Pollock-like painting open, revealing its real purpose. It’s thick and built on what must be massive hinges, given just how many metal bolts I can see on the side.
“Lex, what is this?” I worriedly ask, scared to know the answer.
“It used to be a panic room, but I’ve transformed it into something else.”
Okay, now I’m intrigued and a little scared. Is he about to show me some kind of red room of pain and tell me he wants to whip my ass raw and ride me with a saddle like a pony while I’m gag balled?
“Into what?” I insist, still eyeing the open door with worry .
“Step in and see.”
I’m definitely curious about what’s in there. Actually, I’m dying to know. But between his attitude and the fact that there was a protocol to keep that door closed with me in the room, I’m not super confident about it. It can’t be that bad, right? It’s not a serial killer room, and Tami knows where I am anyway, so it’s not like he would attempt anything.
What the fuck am I even thinking right now? It’s Lex. My Lex. I’ll be okay, no matter what’s behind that door. Summoning my courage, I take a deep breath and step toward the dark room, adamant to get to the bottom of this.
When I enter, the lights turn on, unveiling the room’s content. Despite the lack of windows, it isn’t as gloomy as I expected. There’s an enormous desk and an impressive setup, with six screens angled to give an ideal panoramic vision, fixed to arms on the wall. The computer’s tower is massive, its red neon lights giving off an eerie vibe. One side of the room is stacked with server towers, separated from the rest by a glass wall. It looks like a private data center, and I can’t imagine the kind of operations Lex can run with this.
“Baby, what is this?” I ask, hating the way my voice trembles. I don’t want to be scared right now, but all this secrecy is getting the best of me.
When I turn around, I find him standing at the door’s threshold. He looks just as nervous as I am, his muscular arms crossed over his bare chest. “Do you remember when you mentioned your hard limits?” he asks.
I quickly try to recall what was said, but am too overwhelmed to think straight. “You asked if I was a convicted felon,” he reminds me. I nod, vaguely remembering that, and he continues with, “Well, I’m not because I was never caught.”
I wait for the rest, but it doesn’t come, and I’m pretty sure I’m losing another few years of life with all this. It’s unbearable. “Lex, say what you’re trying to say,” I urge him.
He hesitates, and instead of answering, he brings his hands together. One by one, his fingers bend under his grip, each joint popping in a steady, practiced rhythm. He doesn’t fidget, doesn’t rush—just works through them like he’s following a quiet set of rules only he understands. He switches hands and repeats the process, his movements precise, methodical. When the last knuckle cracks, he exhales slowly and looks at me again.
“Through my cybersecurity classes at Stanford, I became acquainted with the inner workings of the dark web. Then, a few years later, out of boredom and outrage at what I witnessed at Avoss, I began using that knowledge to even the scales. It wasn’t supposed to go as far as it did, but once I started looking into those wretched, corrupt people, I couldn’t stop.”
He doesn’t say more, waiting for me to fill in the gaps. “So, you were a… hacker? You hacked people to expose them?”
“I did a little more than that. The goal was never to attract any attention, but I went too big, too fast, and what I did ended up all over the news. My handle got out there, and everything blew out of proportion before I could stop it.”
Things are snapping into place in my mind, but I refuse to believe any of it. There’s no way he’s trying to say what I think he’s trying to say. No fucking way. This has to be some kind of elaborate prank he’s pulling on me.
“And what was your handle, Lex?” I ask, daring him to keep up with his long-winded joke.
“I used one of the aliases of someone I’d always related to—Lex Luthor. But Atom Man sounded too on the nose, so I reversed it and called myself Nammota.”
Fuck. No, no, no…
Up until that point, nothing in me was willing to believe him. Not a single part of me. But this Atom Man-Nammota thing? Using one of Lex Luthor’s known names? It sounds way too fucking real to be part of a joke.
But denial is easier to handle than whatever all of this means, so I let out a harsh, “You’re not Nammota.”
He steps in closer, and I move back, refusing to be lured into his aura until we’ve sorted this. “Trust me, Andrea, I wish I weren’t. It started when I had nothing to lose. I hated my job and my life, so I did it thinking it’d give meaning to it. Then Kev and I founded Kelex, and a few years in, he gave me an ultimatum. I either stopped being Nammota, or I stepped down from Kelex—so I wouldn’t take the company down with me if I ever got caught.”
“You’re not Nammota,” I repeat, taking another step back as he comes closer.
“No, not anymore. I stopped everything like Kevin wanted and never looked back. Those high scores on the arcade in the breakroom were my sign-off. I needed to do that for myself, this one last thing, so I’d see those letters every day and remind myself of what I gave up for Kelex. Or rather, that Kelex gave me a purpose better than a criminal alter ego. I didn’t think the high scores would stay there for that long, though.”
“That’s weird, isn’t it? I mean, it’s not like you threaten to fire your employees when they try to beat it,” I retort, acerbic. Which makes me realize… “You gaslighting asshole! We talked about it yesterday, and you tried to convince me that the actual Nammota would never sign their name like that!”
“No, I implied it would take an imbecile to do that.”
“Then you’re an imbecile.”
“I never claimed I wasn’t, freckles.”
He comes closer, and between the nickname, the abs, and the fucking gray sweatpants, I sense my outrage slowly leaving my body. “No. You do not use that nickname on me like that, Lex,” I scold him. I take a step back, but the desk stops my retreat. “Are you serious about all this? If it’s a joke, please say it now.”
“Again, I wish it wasn’t true. But that’s the reality of who I am, and you have the right to know before this goes any further. Like I said, I had nothing to lose then, but now… I would never have done any of that if I’d known I would have so much to lose one day—mainly you.”
“But… Nammota was never caught, so you’re good now, right?”
“It would only take one person smart and determined enough to change that. I’ve lived with the sword of Damocles hanging over my head for twelve years now, and it’ll be there until the day I die.”
The thought of him having to carry such a burden pains me. Like almost everyone, I’ve always sympathized with Nammota because what he did was heroic and selfless. We all know how every single cent he stole was given back to people more deserving, people who were given the short end of the stick by a society built to drain them to the marrow. I still remember the general frenzy whenever there was a new Nammota hit. People rejoiced in the streets and on social media. Aside from a few assholes, no one wants him in jail.
Still tormented by everything I’m trying to compute, I look up at Lex, at his dashing face, at the guilt plastered on it… Is he really that same man everyone was rooting for? Have I actually fallen in love with someone I’ve admired since I was fourteen? A national hero forced to operate in the shadows? The biggest cyber vigilante that ever existed?
“You’re really him,” I breathe out, feeling lightheaded.
“I am,” he says with a nod. “Or I was. I promise, Andrea, all that is in the past.”
“That’s-that’s not my concern.” He’s even closer now, but I can’t move—trapped by the desk and too numb, anyway. “Did you really do all those things?”
“I was young, angry, and thought I was doing something important.”
“You were. Nammota helped— You helped so many people. You changed their lives forever. And you reminded those billionaire assholes they weren’t untouchable, after all.” The reminder has something fluttering low in my stomach. I always knew Lex was incredible, but I never realized to what extent exactly .
“I don’t even know if I cared about helping those people. All I cared about was the next big thing, getting better, going further than anyone before.”
It’s clear there’s unresolved conflict there, given the way his voice is uneven. Touched by his lack of confidence and this new facet of Lex that I’m discovering, I frame his face with my hands and force him to look at me. “There were other ways to do this, but you decided to help them, Lex. Don’t take that away from yourself. You’re a good person, and not only do I know that, but the whole world does—even if they don’t know it’s you specifically.”
But I know. Jesus fucking Christ, I know.
He nods, still silent, and I can’t help but graze his thick hair under my fingers. “Was that one of the reasons you tried to keep me away?” I wonder.
“Yes, I… didn’t want to drag you into this with me. Those decisions I made over a decade ago have put me in danger, and I refused to let them impact you in any way. Again, if someone finds out I’m—”
“It’s been what, five years since you stopped? It’s not like there will suddenly be new evidence that can lead them to you.”
He lets that sink in for a moment, his face grave. “I take it you aren’t worried about staying by my side?” he asks. I shake my head with confidence. “And you don’t care that I’m a cybercriminal?”
“A reformed cybercriminal. And you must be an actual imbecile if you think that being a hero who helped thousands of people would make me love you any less. In fact, now that the shock is slowly dissipating, I think it makes me love you even more.”
His hands come to my hips as he steps even closer, grazing my front with his. “Does it?”
I nod, following his gentle push and sitting on the desk. “It’ll take more than that to scare me away, Coleman. Especially now that I’ve seen your comics collection. I’ll need five years to read all that.”
“So, I’m stuck with you for at least five years?” he wonders, following the slope of my neck with tender lips.
“You also need to show me how you did some of that,” I explain, vaguely motioning at the computer set up next to us.
He straightens up, looking all serious again. “No, that’s off limits, Andrea.”
“Why?”
“It’s in my past, and I’m not allowing any of it to resurface.”
I frown at that, disagreeing. “There’s no harm in looking, Lex,” I counter, lifting the T-shirt up to my waist, wriggling to get it out from under me .
As suspected, he looks down and is reminded that I’m wearing his T-shirt and nothing else. “You don’t fight fair,” he mutters.
“But at least I never broke the law,” I joke, tugging his sweatpants down.
His chuckle is a little nervous and raspy. And it turns into a groan when I circle his hardening length and pump him a few times. “I take it your pussy doesn’t feel like hissing at me anymore?” he mumbles.
“No, it’s actually weeping for you now. Look…” I swallow back an impish smile as I run his round tip over my drenched folds.
“Fucking hell …”
He dives in for a kiss, and I gladly return it. He tastes like relief and gratitude, and I can’t believe he genuinely thought any of this could be a deal-breaker for me. Knowing he’s an even better man than I thought, even smarter, even more mysterious, has me more feral for him—which I didn’t think was possible.
At this point, I’m practically frothing at the mouth for this man.
“Slow…” I moan in our kiss when he pushes his dick inside me.
“You’re sure you don’t mind?” he asks as he sinks deeper, parting our lips to meet my eyes.
I swing my hips forward a little. “Do I look like I mind, baby?”
“You’re not the best judge of character when you’re horny, Andrea.”
“I’m not horny, Lex. I’m in love.” With a firm push, he enters all of me. “Aah, fuck,” I whimper.
I cling to his shoulders as he begins thrusting in and out of me—slowly, like he knows I can’t take much more than that. God, I can’t believe I’ve been having sex with Nammota this whole time. I don’t know which one of us needs this more, but there’s something powerful in this moment. We’re being one on his illicit desk, in this illicit room, right after he confessed his illicit activities. And somehow, even knowing what I do, nothing has changed. He’s still Lex, still the sweetest man I’ve ever met, still the smartest person I know, still my impossibly handsome nerd, still the love of my life… And just in case he doubts that, I’ll remind him.
“I’m yours, baby. Every single part of me belongs to you.” I grab his jaw and bring him to me so his lips are against mine. “Will you take all of me exactly the way I am?”
“You know I will. Down to the last freckle.”
“Then trust that I want you just as much, Lex. All of you, even your past and especially your future. I want the good, the bad, and everything in between.”
It should scare me just how much I mean it, but I can’t be bothered to care. I’ve found my one person in this universe, and I’m never letting him go.