The Passion

Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

FELISHA

M y body feels so heavy, and I don’t want to open my eyes.

The warmth is comforting, and I don’t even have to wonder where I am. The ever-alluring smell of Flynn is what is wrapped all around me and giving me that sense of calm that only he ever seems to bring me.

As much as I hate that fact, I can’t change it.

Hearing his steady breathing, I hope he is still sleeping so I can make my escape before having to face my embarrassment. I couldn’t even manage to make it through yesterday, so starting the day in another state of pure heightened anxiety is not a great idea. Avoiding it is a much better solution.

I can feel I still have underwear on, and that is a good thing because I was in no state last night to even speak, let alone do anything else.

Lying on my stomach on the mattress, the weight of Flynn’s perfectly toned arm is across my back and his hand locked on my waist. Like he is making sure I can’t leave, but I know I can’t stay either.

Ever so slowly I try to wriggle sideways while being a contortionist with my arm behind my back and trying to lift his off me. It’s like dead weight, and for every inch I try to creep out of his clutches, it just feels like his fingers are digging into my side tighter, even though his slow breathing hasn’t changed at all to indicate he is aware of what I’m doing. Finally, after what feels like forever, I am almost free of his arm. I’m balancing precariously on the side of the mattress, with only one hand available to stabilize myself while the other is still holding his arm that feels like the weight of a tree trunk in the air just above my body.

How the hell do I get myself into these situations, seriously. I’m such a mess lately.

I try to lift the last bit of blanket that seems to be trapping my foot on the bed so I can’t lower it to the floor. I give it an extra little kick with my foot but not enough to rock the bed.

I can’t seem to free my foot, so I try to push a little harder now… then catastrophe hits.

“Meeeeoooowwww,” shrieks through the room, and a white fluffball bounces all over me, scratching at Flynn through the sheets, hissing and clawing at him as Flynn sits upright in a flash which totally unbalances me, and the next thing, I’m tumbling to the floor.

“Fucking Sassy, little bitch,” he roars as I hit the floor, sheet wrapped around me, legs and arms flailing everywhere as I feel like I’m stuck in a never-ending piece of white linen that is wrapping around me tighter and tighter.

“I swear to God, you have been my biggest mistake.” I hear his feet hit the floor on the other side of the bed, and his voice gets closer. “Get the fuck out!” he bellows as I see him come into view, and I can’t move, wrapped up like a damn burrito.

“You better not have been talking to me,” is all I can say before I start to giggle, and then next thing, his hands are on his knees, and he is laughing at me too. Both of us are now laughing from deep in our bellies, like I haven’t laughed in months. To be honest, maybe years.

Eventually he pulls himself together and leans down, but when I think he is about to unwrap me, instead he picks me up and hoists me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“Flynnnnnn.” I squeal like a little girl, but I’m not able to do a damn thing about it. Marching to the bedroom door and slamming it shut, he then turns back toward the bed.

“I’ll worry about the scratch marks on the door later,” he mumbles as we head back to the bed.

Gently placing my feet on the ground at the end of his bed, I can feel the softness of the rug in my toes but can confirm the polished concrete floor is hard as hell.

“Now let me unwrap my little present and make sure you aren’t hurt.” It’s a total change in his tone from when he was just screaming at the cat that I’m guessing was not happy I was sleeping in her bed.

“I’m not a present. Just a squashed burrito.” I try not to laugh because you can’t be serious when you are standing in front of the man you tell yourself you supposedly hate, in your underwear, and incapacitated by a probably expensive, high-thread-count bedsheet.

“Have I ever told you how much I love Mexican food?” And all of a sudden, I know I’m in trouble as he slowly licks up the side of my neck. “Especially breakfast burritos…” His voice trails off, and as much as I try to stop it, the only noise in the room is a moan leaving my lips the moment his lips are on the most sensitive part of my neck, and the sheet finally falls from me to the floor.

Flynn pushes my underwear up the skin so his hands are now planted firmly on my bare ass cheeks, hoisting me up off the ground, and as if on instinct, my legs wrap around his body.

Oh God, I shouldn’t be doing this, but I can’t seem to stop.

“Choose, Felisha… fast, because I’m hanging by a thread.” He always knows what is going on in my thoughts, and that’s fucking scary. But that growl bashes through every sensible thing I’m screaming in my head.

“Fuck it.” I need this.

Just once more to finish this for good. On my terms!

I throw my arms around his neck and let my head fall back as he starts devouring my neck.

His way of dominating me is something I can’t get in any other part of my life, nor do I need it.

But here, in his bedroom, that’s all I want. To be cherished, the center of someone’s world. Not because of who I am, what I own, or what they think they can take from me. Just to be in the sheer passion of a moment, but still adored and treasured.

“Oh yeah, just like I remember,” Flynn mutters to himself as he props one knee on the bed and leans down to lay me on the mattress that is now completely bare of any bedding.

This man’s strength is incredible as he kneels on the bed and lifts me further up the mattress, laying me out as he slowly takes his hands from me.

“Why can’t I get you out of my head, no matter how much I try?” He shakes his head slightly, and I know he is fighting his internal thoughts as much as I am.

We might be different, but in so many ways, we are also the same.

I answer him as if it were a comment rolling off his tongue. “Because nobody compares to me.” The roles are reversed this time, and I’m the one putting the confidence out there, hoping to shock him at my bravado, but instead, it’s just done the opposite.

“So damn hot!” It’s like my words have just turned him on more and has him devouring every inch of my body he can touch with his lips. My nipple is between his teeth as he drags his mouth off my breast, and already, I feel my orgasm racing toward the finish line.

I don’t want this to be over so soon.

If this it, the last time, then I want everything!

With every bit of strength I have, I push on his chest with my hands and at the same time roll my body to the side, taking his perfect body with me until Flynn is on his back and I’m up on my knees and straddling him.

“This time I get to take what I want.” I slide my hands ever so slowly over every ripple on his ripped chest. Lowering my body onto him, when my lips are mere inches from his, I bring my hands up and on either side of his strong jaw that has that stubble from the day before, taking away the smooth feel. But it makes him feel like the rough diamond beneath me. Not all put together like he always appears to be.

“And what is it you want?” he whispers, and I feel his breath on my lips.

“Control.” Not waiting for his answer, I press my lips to his and take my pleasure, my tongue pushing for him to open his mouth for me, and I can’t stop the electricity that races between us.

He wraps his strong arms around me, and as much as I need him to give me room to play, I still want to feel his power over my body.

I’m such a contradiction, but I don’t care. I want both things, and for some reason, Flynn is the man my body has decided can give that wish to me.

Pulling back from him and sitting up, this time it’s me ripping the sides of my G-string and pulling it out from under me, throwing it to the floor. His eyes widen and are now so dark he looks like he is ready to let himself loose completely.

“Fuck me, that was hot,” he mumbles to himself.

I rub my wet pussy over his cock, ever so slowly, like I want to drag out the pain he must be feeling just to make me feel good. His eyes are hooded, and his pupils are wide. It must be killing him to just lie there and take what I want to give him.

So many people are taking my choices away from me at the moment, yet this strong, beautiful man is holding back everything he can to let me have what I need right now.

“Touch me.” The plea from my lips almost sounds like I’m begging him, and I know he can see right through me that although I’m trying to sound demanding, I’m far from it.

“Tell me where, gorgeous.” He lifts his hands from where they are on the bed.

My answer is everywhere, but I know that won’t do.

“My breasts…” My mouth falls open as I feel my clit absolutely relishing the joy of the hard-as-steel cock that is trapped under me that I’m getting myself off on. I can’t finish like this, no, I want him fucking me until I’m screaming louder than I ever have before.

We have only spent one night together, yet he knows my body.

I don’t want him just squashing my tits in his hands like they are a stress ball. What I love is to feel worshipped, feeling how much his hands love the special things he is holding. Slowly, he runs his hand over my skin, his thumbs running circles around my nipples that are such an erogenous zone for me. The sensitivity of the way he is touching me has me squirming. And then the moment he takes both nipples between his thumb and finger on each hand, pinching them with just the right amount of pain, and I’m already panting trying to stave off the orgasm that is sitting just below the surface, trying so hard to break through.

“Condom.” I scramble off him, waiting for the answer because I’m now a frantic mess of desperation.

“Wallet.” The growl is almost as crazed as I feel, as he points to his wallet on the bedside table.

I don’t even care that I’m going through his wallet or what the hell it contains, I just want the package that I will never go without.

I rip it open with my teeth as I’m back straddling him again, and I can see the smirk on his face.

“Not a word,” I mumble to him as I roll the condom down his engorged cock that is all wet from where I have been grinding on him hard.

“Mmmmm,” he mutters, and I suppose he technically listened because it’s not really a word. Just the pure torture he feels having my hands on him when all he wants to do is throw me on my back on the bed and fuck me.

But this morning, it’s my turn.

Rising onto my knees, I swipe the tip of his cock over my clit and through my folds, teasing him and me with it just at the entrance. I can see the devil in his eyes that wants to let loose, but he is containing it.

Challenge accepted.

I want to start this, but I want him to end it.

I slide down onto his cock in one motion that has us both moaning and groaning at the same time. The burn is so sharp, but it’s exactly what I wanted.

To feel him!

I need to move, I can’t sit still. He might be filling me to the point of maximum pleasure, but I know there is more because I’ve been here before. There are too many deep emotions passing between us in this moment as I’m looking deep into his eyes. He sees how raw I am, and I can’t have that. Last time there was no silence. I was screaming, and he was talking so fucking dirty into my ear that I felt like I was just orgasming from his words half the time.

My hands are flat on his bare chest as I rock back and forth, and I can’t help my mouth dropping open at the exquisite sensation.

Flynn’s hands have returned to my breasts, and I’m in heaven, but like always, I want more.

I’m taking everything I want from him, showing him that I’m in control of my body, but now I crave more.

And he knows it.

Why can he read me like no one has ever been able to before him?

“Ravage me,” I scream out, as my release is so close, and I can’t hold on anymore.

“No, beautiful, this is all you,” he says, but then he drops his hand down and pushes his fingers between our bodies that are pressed together as I’m riding his cock like I’ll die if I stop. Him pushing his finger onto my clit and rubbing it in the same motion is all it takes and I’m bouncing on top of him like a wild woman.

“Flynn… fuck… Flynn, please… oh, God!” And there are flashes of light in front of my eyes, I can’t breathe, and my whole body pulses like a firestorm is racing through it.

Unleashing the strongest orgasm is only the beginning, because now I have released the beast in him.

My words had given him permission, but he waited to give me the chance to take what I need from him first.

Now it’s his turn, and I’m all for it as he bucks up into me, grabbing my hips, hard!

My world is still spinning, but on the next thrust into me, he throws my body sideways, and before I take my next breath, he is on me and pounding me into the mattress like his life depends on it.

“Your tight fucking pussy kills me. The way you clamp around me… fucking perfection.”

“Oh, I can’t…” My body is on overload, with every cell in me ready to explode harder than I have ever done before.

“You fucking can… and you will. Give me every bit of you, don’t leave anything. I’m taking all of you. You know you want to… you’re begging me with your eyes.”

He isn’t holding back as I feel like he is burying himself so far inside me he is hammering on my cervix.

He can be so gentle, but this roughness right now is perfection.

I’m not thinking of anything except the purest pleasure.

“Fucking let go, Felisha, you don’t need to hold back from me.”

His words rush through my body, setting every piece of tension that was still buried so deep inside loose in a way I can’t even understand.

My body quivers as he unloads inside me.

The rush of emotion has tears rolling down my cheeks. I’m tingling in places I didn’t know I could tingle, and all I can think of deep in my soul is how I’m his, like totally and utterly his.

He owns me.

But sadly, I can’t let him have me.

He gave me what I needed. A goodbye that I won’t ever forget and the knowledge that there is someone in the world that treasures my soul.

“Now that’s one hell of a way to wake up in the morning,” Flynn says as he rolls off of me, but he isn’t prepared to let go of me just yet.

Rolling my body with his and laying me on top of him, I’m wrapped warmly in his arms and my legs fall between his spread ones on the bed.

“I can’t disagree with that. But…”

“I hate that word… I love the body part, though.” His hands slide down and squeeze my ass cheeks, bringing out a giggle like a little girl. Christ, what does this man do to me? He strips away so much of my warrior personality, and that’s why he is so dangerous to be around.

“Flynn, stop it. You know we need to talk.” Laying my hands across his chest, I rest my chin on my hands and look into his eyes, trying to show how serious I am.

“Later?” He looks hopeful, but he already knows the answer.

“Not a chance, and talking naked is not happening either.” I know I need to get up and get dressed, but I just want this last moment of skin-to-skin with him. Savoring every last minute.

“I disagree, I think we just did some seriously good communicating while naked, surely you agree.”

Slapping his chest lightly, I push up off him, but I have a feeling he knows what’s coming. Because the way he grabs my face in both his hands and starts to devour my lips in what definitely feels like a goodbye kiss gives me the gut feeling that this is the beginning of the end.

Not that we really started.

This kiss I feel all the way to the tips of my toes, and it feels different to any other kiss before it. It’s like he is trying to tell me something without any words.

Okay, Flynn, I get the message loud and clear. I just wish I could reply to you the way you want me to.

Pushing again to get up, this time he lets me. I look for my clothes that I don’t even remember taking off, but I also know I was in a bad way yesterday. Something I should probably be embarrassed about, but with Flynn, I’m not. We are in this together, and although we haven’t really talked about yesterday’s situation, I think deep down he must be as devastated about it as I am.

He just doesn’t have the same lack of family support like I do. Actually, that’s wrong, I don’t know anything about his family, but what I do know is that his friends will be closing ranks around him, and after meeting his head of security, Remington, I know that he has plenty of support from him and Nicholas Darby. That man seems to have the utmost integrity in this industry, even though he is relatively new to it. We might be competitors, but it doesn’t stop me from respecting the man.

Standing in Flynn’s bedroom in my rattiest clothes does not make me feel overly confident, but Harper insisted on me dressing like this last night, and I just went along with my friend, trusting her. I don’t know how she managed to pull it off, but I’m here and no one knows that except her and my housekeeper. Which is also a little strange, but I’m just going with it at this stage.

I might have intentions of us getting up and talking, but Flynn is still lying on his bed, stark naked, arms up above his head on the pillow and hands under his head. No sheets covering him, and all I can do is stand here and admire his body.

“Like what you see?” The cocky man is back in the room.

“You know I do.” But my wall of confidence is building back up too, and I know I need to break the spell. “So, stop trying to be some piece of naked art on display and get dressed. You don’t need to try to impress me, you can already tick that box.”

Turning my back and walking from the room, I suddenly stop just outside the door because I realize I have no idea where I am or how to get to the living room. All I can hear from behind me is Flynn’s laughter and him calling out to me.

“Turn right and go to the end of the corridor, or perhaps turn around and we can shower together first.” I can hear he is moving off the bed, and as much as I would love to have a shower with Flynn, we both know it would be just another round of getting dirty before we get clean again.

Plus, it just feels too intimate to shower with him.

I must admit, the first time I visited his apartment I had been drinking and didn’t really pay much attention to it, and last night, well, I was in no state to notice anything.

Walking past a glass wall on a room, I stop to see something I have never seen nor expected from Flynn. There are shelves and shelves of old records lining the walls. Then in the center of the room are two black leather wingback chairs, and between them is a table that has an old-school record player on it.

It looks so interesting and very old-fashioned that I would love to walk in there to take a look, but I’m actually not game to. I have a feeling that everything in that room is very special and something that means a lot to Flynn. There is so much more to this man than I’m ever going to get the chance to find out.

Continuing into the living room, it’s just like you would imagine a wealthy man who can afford a stylish bachelor pad would look like. Clean lines, coordinated furniture, and with minimal accessories that would give away too much about his life. But there are a few, nonetheless.

Placed on a coffee table next to the fireplace are a few photo frames. Wandering over, I see one of him when he was young with what I assume are his brother and parents. In little matching outfits, sitting on a platform, with Mum and Dad standing behind them. A perfectly staged family portrait from back in the eighties. I wonder what my life would have been like if I’d had a sibling. A brother I know would have changed my life, and I would just be some socialite that hasn’t worked a day in my life because my father would never have let me. But if I had a younger sister, what would have happened? Would I have someone else to battle against the old-fashioned attitudes of my father? Sadly, I will never know, but I’m thankful for Harper who, although she is not blood, in my eyes, is my sister anyway.

The other three photos are ones that look current. Him with his friends and brother at some event, all in tuxes which make any man look hot. Then one that I’m guessing is at some estate, relaxed around a fire pit, and then the third one are his friends, Nic’s fiancée, and another woman who Flynn has wrapped in his arm, all laughing at something.

Something in my gut doesn’t like the way he is holding her. I don’t know her, but I don’t like her, which is ridiculous. Jealousy also creeps in at just the friend group in general. I have Harper who is all I need, but all the other people around me are merely people I know and see at functions. But if I was to get married and need to fill a bridal party, I couldn’t, and that’s just a sad state of affairs at my age.

Running my finger across the top of the frame, I’m startled when Flynn walks up behind me. I didn’t hear him, being lost in my own thoughts.

“A crazy bunch but the best friends and brother I could have asked for.” The tone in his voice is of pure love for everyone in that picture.

“You’re lucky,” I whisper before pulling myself together again and spinning around to find him closer than I was expecting. As his hands start moving to my waist, I slap them away.

“Nope, we are talking, remember?” Side-stepping around him, I take a seat on the couch, and before he has time to sit beside me, I move one of the cushions next to me.

Laughing at me, he takes a seat on the other side of the wall I have created. “If that’s the way you want it.” Leaning back onto the couch, he lays his arm along the back of it, looking like he doesn’t have a stress in the world, but we both know that’s not true.

“It is!” I say a little too forcefully.

“Understood. Now, you want to tell me what happened last night? Because I have a feeling there was more to it than the video hitting the internet.” Flynn can’t help himself, moving his arm and stretching out to place it on my knee, just as a light squeeze of comfort for me. Such a simple gesture, but it means more to me than he will ever realize.

“So much more, but that’s not what we need to discuss. Us… this.” I wave my hand between the two of us. “It can’t happen again. You know it, and I know it. But I want us to be friends.” There is so much more I want to say, but I’m having trouble forming the words to come out right, and that’s not normal for me.

“What if I want more?” Such a simple answer from him, and he calmly waits for me to answer.

“It doesn’t matter what we want, we just can’t ever be. Especially after yesterday. Every time I would be seen with you, all they would talk about is that video. I don’t want to live like that, do you?” I sigh at the words coming out of my mouth.

“I don’t give a fuck what other people say about me, I thought you would have understood that by now.” His carefree attitude is gone, and the seriousness is creeping in. He is starting to understand that his words and sex is not going to have me swooning or just agreeing with him, when I sit up straighter and put my game face on.

“Flynn, please don’t make this harder than it has to be. We need to battle this on a united front, but as friends. You asked for more, and I can’t give you that for many reasons. But I’m asking you to please give me what I need, because my personal wants don’t matter either. I need your support and strength to squash this as quickly as possible.” I feel stronger now, like I’m in a board meeting negotiating the terms of a contract. This is what you want, this is what I want, but let’s meet in the middle.

Middle ground is friendship.

“There is so much more to this, but you aren’t going to trust me enough to share that. And I don’t want a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust me. I’ll do what you ask, you will always have my friendship, but don’t expect us to have cute little coffee and manicure catch-ups.”

I roll my eyes at him at his ridiculous statement. Always the comedian, but this time he doesn’t want the reaction of laughter from me.

“Because, Felisha… I fucking want you… more than I understand. So being in the same room as you is going to burn me hard. But I’m not going to chase you because I don’t cope with rejection well. So, friends, sure, and know I will always have your back no matter what.” He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, that still looks all messy, in frustration. “And as much as this hurts to say, I do understand. I might not like it or agree, but I understand.”

I want to launch myself over this cushion into his lap and curl up like he held me last night and tell him how desperately I want to say the same things.

But I’ve made my decision, and I have to stand strong.

“Thank you.” My voice is no longer strong, and it’s all I can say.

Sitting for a few moments in silence, we both collect our thoughts and then proceed to discuss how we are going to handle the media and the statements we will both be making today.

Thoughts of my father’s words creep into my head, but I can’t let that affect me now. To be honest, I need to use them to give me determination and strength.

Flynn wants to feed me breakfast, but I know I need to leave.

“I need to get home before the city wakes fully and get ready for the day. Like you, I can’t afford to have another day off.” Looking at my watch, I see it’s already close to seven am, and normally I would almost be in my office by now. Harper is down in the garage in her sister’s car waiting to take me to her place to shower and then head into work. I don’t know where I would be without her.

Standing, I start toward the elevator.

“Felisha.” My name on his lips is full of pain as he walks behind me.

Turning toward him, he takes me into his arms and draws me into a kiss that I was expecting to be hot and heated but instead is full of emotion and longing. This shouldn’t be so hard. Two days ago, I could believe I hated him, and now, I’m standing here not wanting to let go.

As we start pulling back for air and I look into his sorrowful eyes, I feel something brushing against my ankles and drop my head to see the white ball of fluff from earlier this morning. Reaching down to pick her up, she snuggles straight into my arms, purring away as I stroke her.

“Seriously,” Flynn grumbles.

“Here you go, go back to your dad.” But as I go to hand her over, she hisses and jumps to the ground and runs away.

“Typical, even the pussy I can’t get rid of doesn’t want me either.”

“Oh, Flynn.” I start to giggle, slapping him on the arm. “So, the nickname the Pussy Whisperer is bullshit on all fronts, I see.”

“Harsh.” He is half smiling as I step into the elevator.

And as I leave my heart on his floor in front of him, raising my hand to wave, I say all I can to him.

“Thank you… Goodbye.” I try to hold back the tears that are building.

“For now,” he replies as the doors close in front of me.

“Please don’t make this harder than it already is,” I say out loud and hope the universe is listening.