The Passion

Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

FELISHA

M y heart is beating like crazy.

I’ve never been this nervous on a date, and it’s not for a good reason.

Flynn tried to phone me on my way here, but I didn’t pick up. Sent the call straight to voicemail like I was on the phone. I just can’t talk to him right now. He will be agitated, and that will only make my anxiety worse as he lectures me on his list of demands. I mean, it’s not like I’m old enough to know what I’m doing.

Plus, Fulton is not the type of man to do anything that I don’t want him to. He has only ever been a gentleman to me, a dominant one, but then so is Flynn but just in a different way. Part of me feels guilty for leading Fulton on with this date, but I have to be selfish at the moment. And it’s not like I’m using him for sex or anything. That’s the last thing I even want to think about. I just need to be seen with him and then leave.

It's that simple.

Harper and I have been messaging since I left my apartment where she helped me to get ready. She tried to convince me to cancel last minute because she also thinks this is a really stupid plan.

I’m not actually sure why I ever thought it was a smart idea, but here we are. Not one of my most brilliant decisions, but I just need to get through with it.

As I get out of the car, I half expect to see Flynn standing at the front door with that angry scowl he gets on his face when he is about to explode. In a way I wish he was and that would give me an out, and I could blame him and not feel like I was the weak one who backed out.

“Good evening, Lady Kentwall,” the doorman greets me as I walk in, and I just nod to acknowledge him as the words seem to be stuck in my dry mouth.

Pull yourself together, woman. You’re stronger than this.

Remember, you’re in charge of what happens, no one else.

Walking into the Beaufort Bar, I see Fulton sitting at one of the comfortable couches in their own cubicle. It’s nestled at the back of the room and secluded. This whole bar is decorated in a seductive black and gold that oozes class and money. But all I can think about is that first night I met Flynn sitting at this same bar. The night that changed my life forever. My heart is longing for it to be him that I’m walking toward now and not Fulton. I understand now how different the two of them are, and Fulton is not even in the same league as my man.

It’s dark and sexy and the place you come if you want a quiet drink with a partner or you’re trying to impress someone on a date. There is no way Fulton has to try to impress me. But this is the kind of bar that people like us frequent often. Taking a deep breath, I put on my game face that shows I’m happy to see him and walk toward the back of the room.

I notice Wally, one of the photographers that Harper would have tipped off, sitting at a table facing where Fulton is seated, and he has his phone in his hand. These days they only need a phone, and it would be a bit obvious if he had his normal camera here. He would be thrown out very quickly, and to be honest, probably have the camera taken from him by security.

“My darling.” Fulton stands and reaches for me, and I know I need to let him kiss me on the cheek like he usually does, even though I told Flynn I wouldn’t let him touch me.

A kiss is the money shot for the photographer.

I lean toward him as he kisses me on the cheek more affectionately than just a hello kiss. His deep whisper has me shuddering. “I’ve missed you deeply. I have arranged dinner in my room after we have this drink.”

Fuck, I think I’m meant to be dinner!

“Lovely to see you too, Fulton,” I say as I pull away, with the fake smile plastered on my face.

I take a seat farther away from him than I’m sure he wants. And the moment I’m seated, instead of sitting back down where he was when I arrived, he sits right beside me, so close that our bodies are touching. He places his arm around my shoulder like a boyfriend would, and I just thank the Lord that Flynn isn’t here and hope that these aren’t the photos that get posted.

Fulton already has a glass of champagne waiting for me, but I can’t stomach bubbles tonight. Signaling the drinks waiter, she is there within seconds.

“What can I get you, Lady Kentwall?” It’s one of the downsides of having a title in this city. Everyone knows who I am, and even more so after my name was splashed across the tabloids, and not in a good way. But in places like this, the staff are always very professional while on the floor and probably just gossip about me behind closed doors.

“Dewar’s scotch, no ice, thank you.” Hopefully that will take me a while to drink and also help to calm the nerves.

“Yes, madam, won’t be long.” And as I watch her walking away, I feel Fulton’s hand on my thigh, sliding his fingers a little closer to between my legs. Luckily it isn’t high enough that he is touching me indecently.

I wore pants for that reason, because I know that Fulton has no problem in acting sexually, in a discreet way, while in public. The first time he slipped his hand under my skirt, I was shocked, although it turned me on. But now, I can’t think of anything worse than his fingers on my bare skin.

“A nice way to ease into the evening, my dear. A smooth scotch to relax you before I devour you.” His voice is like a deep purr, and I can understand why he is never short of a lady on his arm. It’s easy to fall for that and think that you will be the golden one who will finally tame him. But I doubt this man will ever be settled with one woman. Even if he appeared to have a girlfriend or wife, I imagine she would never be enough for him, and he would wander. I didn’t see it at first, because I was blinded by my subconscious longing for Flynn and using Fulton as my distraction, but he is more like my father than I care to admit. Smooth talking, egotistical, and believes that he is superior.

Give me a night on the couch semi-naked with a cheese toastie any day over this pretentious foreplay.

Thank God the drink waitress was true to her word and has returned with my drink quickly, giving me something to focus on and do with my hands. I need to strike up a conversation so that I can shift to turn my body toward him instead of just being petted like his toy for the night.

“Where did your business travels take you this time?” The first sip of the scotch was bigger than it should have been, and I almost choke on the burn of it but manage to hold it together with a minor clearing of my throat.

My mind wanders to Flynn’s comments about looking after my throat for his pleasure and just that thought turns me on more than the man next to me.

As he starts telling me that he has just returned from Italy after spending some time in Florence, I manage to wriggle my body enough that I have put a small amount of distance between us, but it is enough to let me breathe for the first time since I sat down.

“We have a hotel in Florence, and I always enjoy staying there,” I say. “Have you eaten at Ristorante Santa Elisabetta ? It’s one of my favorite restaurants in the city.” I can hear a hint of nervousness in my voice, but hopefully he hasn’t detected it at all. But the more we settle into a normal conversation about food and restaurants, the time is thankfully ticking away, and I feel a little more under control. I take the smallest sips of my scotch to stretch it out. Obviously not well enough, because for a man who insists he has some super patience, I can see him starting to move closer and becoming touchier again.

“Perhaps we can take your drink upstairs with us. I’m starving. I’ve been waiting all day for this dinner.” He winks at me, and I want to vomit.

I throw his own words back at him. “That’s what you like, though, to use your patience, as you know dinner will be tastier after the wait.” I can see that he likes when someone plays the game with him by the way his eyes are dilating and going that deep black. This man is easier to play than I realized. You just need to match him at his own game.

“Mmm, I do love to savor the taste of a good meal.” Lifting my hand, he kisses the top of it for longer than necessary.

“Please excuse me for a moment, I need to visit the powder room.” Pushing myself up off the seat quickly, I don’t wait for him to say anything. I just turn and head to the corridor where the bathrooms are. The moment I’m in the stall, I grab my phone and text Harper that I need to get out of here a bit faster than intended. Although I look at the time and I only would have had to make it through another ten minutes, but even that feels too long.

Harper: I told you this was a dumb idea.

Felisha: Shut up, bitch, and just get me out of here.

Felisha: I’m walking out now, give me 5 minutes and then call.

Harper: Understood. It’s SOS time.

Felisha: You have no idea.

Harper: What? Wait. What happened?

Felisha: Later. 5 minutes!

I place my phone back in my purse before I leave the bathroom so it doesn’t look like I was talking to anyone. Although I know it’s going to look suspicious that I get a call five minutes after the bathroom, but I don’t care.

Taking my time walking back, the moment I sit down it feels like Fulton is ready to leave and hands me my glass that I could swear has less scotch in it than when I left.

“I have told them to send a bottle of Dewars up to the room for you, so there is no need to worry about finishing this drink down here.” He looks at me with that swoony look that would have made me feel something last time, but not tonight.

“Oh, someone is in a hurry now. Don’t you know you should never rush a lady?” I’m trying everything to stall him just a few moments longer.

“I think you are playing with me tonight, my darling. It’s time to take this to where we can really start playing.” Standing, he holds his hand out to take mine.

In my head I’m screaming, “Hurry up, Harper, SOS, SOS.” And like she is reading my thoughts, my bag starts vibrating, and I almost drop my phone trying to get it out so fast.

“Excuse me, sorry, I need to take this. Yes, Harper?” My breathing must be a little rapid.

“Fuck, I can hear you breathing. Are you okay?” Harper is whispering down the phone so no one can hear our conversation.

“Oh no, that sounds awful. Of course I can come. I’ll be there as quick as I can.”

“You better be because I want to know everything. Message when you are safe in the car.” Harper sounds concerned, and I’ve never been more thankful to hear her voice.

“Of course, it’s no trouble, don’t be silly.” I take a breath like she is talking, and then I pretend to interrupt her. “No, no, don’t be silly. Fulton will be fine for us to reschedule. I’m leaving now. Just lie down until I get there.”

“You should have been an actress with that bullshit.” Harper giggles so quietly.

Hanging up the call, I stand next to Fulton. “I’m so sorry, Fulton, I have to leave. My friend is very ill and needs me. She didn’t have anyone else to call and is so weak she shouldn’t be alone. I knew you would understand.”

“I will take you there, and then once she is settled and feeling better, we can continue with our night.”

For fuck’s sake, take the hint, man, tonight is over.

“Oh, that’s not necessary, my driver is here and will take me. I think I will need to stay the night with her. I’m so sorry, but I’ll be in contact to reschedule.” I try to look like I’m messaging my driver and being ever so polite.

“I will see you tomorrow night. I’m not finished with you, my darling. We have a lot to talk about, including seeing each other on a more permanent basis.” He takes my face in his hands and is closing in to kiss me on the lips, but using all my strength, I manage to move so his lips land on my face next to my mouth. Flynn will never forgive a lip kiss. The cheek ones will be hard enough for him to swallow.

I don’t even acknowledge what he said because no way in hell is that happening, but it’s not a conversation I want to have face to face with him or in public.

“Good night,” is all I say, pulling away from him and making my way to the door before he has time to follow me.

My heels click on the floor from the almost stomping I’m doing hurrying to the door. But as I’m approaching the edge of the foyer nearing the front doors, a man in a suit approaches me from the side.

“Mr. Taylor is waiting for you in the black limousine outside the door. He requests that you join him.” He then continues to walk toward the doors but apart from me now.

This can’t be good.

Was Flynn inside?

Did he see me?

Oh, please let the answer be no.

But he obviously had that guy watching me, and although I want to be angry at him, part of me instead is starting to understand how much he does care for me.

If the tables were turned tonight, I can’t say I would have acted any differently.

“Have a good night, Lady Kentwall,” the doorman happily says as I walk to the car, and the valet opens the door for me to get in. I can see Imala and my car pulling in behind the limo, but I just give her a subtle shake of the head and touch my right ear which is our sign that lets her know that I’m okay. She then scratches her nose to let me know she understands and then pulls back out and drives off.

Although I can’t see him, I hear his voice, and he’s not happy.

“Get in the car now.”

Not waiting another minute just in case someone sees us together, I slide into the car, ready to face the firing squad, and the door closes behind me.

Flynn is sitting opposite me in the car and has made no move to be near me. His hands are resting on his knees, clenched tight enough I can see the whites of his knuckles in the dim light of the car.

This isn’t going to go well.

“What are you doing here?” I blurt out because I don’t know what else to say.

“He kissed you,” he growls at me, and I’m not stupid enough to deny it.

“You were watching me.” I try to sound annoyed, but it’s not working.

“I was protecting you!” He throws his hands in the air.

“It was just politely on the cheek, the same way you would do to Nic’s wife.” I’m clutching at straws to defend myself.

“Bullshit.” The look he gives me is one that tells me he is trying to control how he truly feels, and I have to give him credit for not exploding like he wants to right now.

“It’s over now,” I say, but I can tell he’s not finished.

I can almost hear him in his head counting to ten to calm himself, but it’s not really working.

“Let’s just go home.” I don’t even know where home is for us right now but anywhere that I can get him to understand that it won’t happen again and remind him how much he means to me.

“Oh, we are going home. Where I will wash every last drop of that man off you.”

“I don’t need a shower, you’re being ridiculous.” And the moment the words were out of my mouth, I knew I shouldn’t be poking the bear.

His fists again clench in and out, and his shoulders are tense in the black t-shirt he has on. I want to reach out and crawl into his lap to take that tension out of his body, but I’m not even game to go near him.

There is fire in his eyes, and it’s not the good kind.

“He. Touched. You.” The slow, deep accentuation on every word sounds like he is in pain. It’s then that I realize the anger is not from a possessive nature.

He’s hurt.

Flynn feels like I betrayed everything we said and did last night by letting Fulton touch me. Even though it was not skin to skin, there was no denying to anyone who saw us that it was in a sexual way. Fulton was letting everyone in the room know I was with him and not just as a friend.

“I’m sorry.” It comes out not much louder than a whisper.

“I know,” he grumbles but still stays where he is, and as I go to move, he holds his hand up, telling me to stop, and I respect his wishes. Sinking back into the seat, my emotions are all over the place. I want to cry, but I also want to scream that I put myself in this position. I want to yell with rage because if it wasn’t for my father, I wouldn’t have to hide Flynn’s and my new relationship.

We continue to ride in silence, and it’s probably for the best.

A voice comes through the speakers in the back of the limousine that makes me jump when it breaks the silence.

“Sorry to interrupt, sir, but your phone keeps coming up with the name Harper. She has called six times in a row and isn’t giving up.”

“Shit, I was supposed to message her.” Reaching to the seat next to me, I fumble with my purse, trying to get to my phone.

“I’ll take it.” Flynn glares at me.

“Oh, thank God, Flynn!” Harper’s voice comes through the speakers. “Felisha is missing, she didn’t message, and she said something happened, and now I can’t find her, she’s not answering her phone.” She is talking so fast I don’t even get a chance to say a word before she started talking hysterically.

“She’s safe with me,” Flynn answers her at the same time I do.

“I’m so sorry, Harper, things got messy,” I yell, forgetting that the microphones are good enough to pick up my voice at a normal level.

“Oh my God, I’m going to kill you! I thought he had kidnapped you or something. What the hell happened?”

Before I could say anything, Flynn says, “Later, Harper, she’s fine.” And I hear her voice disappear in the middle of her reply as he disconnects the call.

“That was rude!” I’m pissed off that he didn’t let me explain properly to her and make sure she had settled from the panic attack I gave her.

“Don’t go there, Felisha.” With that, he looks out the window, and the silence has fallen again in the car, and this time I don’t want to fight it.

Ten minutes later, we pull up in front of Flynn’s building, and before I can ask what we are doing here after going to so much effort to avoid being seen at each other’s home, he throws a long coat at me with a hood.

“Put that on and keep your head down. Don’t say a word,” he demands and moves past me, opening the door before his driver even has time to turn off the car. Standing next to the door, he waits for me to get out. Not even offering his hand to help me tells me how upset he is.

Walking beside him, head down and just watching my feet, we walk into the foyer where the doorman greets him, to which Flynn replies in a mere grunt. Thankfully, the elevator was on the ground floor, and as we shoot up the building, I want to tell him to stop being a dick, but I don’t.

But the moment the door on the elevator closes in his apartment, I let loose.

“I get that you are upset, but that doesn’t give you the right to be an absolute dick to me. Christ, it’s not like I went upstairs and fucked him like he wanted me to.” Damn, sometimes I wish I could just shut my mouth, but tonight just doesn’t seem to be the time I succeed.

The emotions of the night have gotten to me now, and I can’t hold back obviously.

Flynn stops in his tracks, turning and stalking back to me. I almost start laughing because if he were a cartoon character, I would be seeing steam come out of his ears, his eyeballs bulging, and biceps muscles pumping up.

Finally, he touches me by taking my hand, although it’s not in affection. He firmly grasps it and drags me toward his bedroom, through his room and straight into his bathroom.

Not saying a word, he starts undressing me out of the coat and doesn’t stop there. My shirt is unbuttoned, and thankfully my pants zipper cooperates this time, and then he is working on my underwear as I kick off my shoes and step out of my pants.

Standing in the middle of his bathroom completely naked, I should feel vulnerable, but I don’t.

I’m feeling sympathetic toward Flynn and know he needs to do this. As fucked up as it seems, I actually understand it.

Now stripping his clothes off, he steps into the shower and turns it on.

I watch him close his eyes, tipping his head back into the hot streaming water for a minute to collect his thoughts. The moment his eyes open, he opens his arms, and I take the four steps needed into his body, grasping on tight, not wanting to let go.

“We are burning those clothes,” he mumbles into my neck as he buries his head in my hair for a moment.

“I’m not going to have a wardrobe left the way you are going.”

“You’ll hear no arguments from me having you naked all the time.” It’s a relief hearing him make a smart-ass comment back to me and lets me know he is taking as much calming as I am from being skin to skin with each other.

Flynn pulls his head back from the crook in my neck and places the softest kiss on my lips. Not sexual in any way. It was sensual and full of meaning. I’m learning that when Flynn can’t speak his feelings, he shows me in the only way he knows how.

His touch.

Reaching behind me, he takes the shampoo and pours it into his hand and lifts it up onto my head. Spreading it down my long hair, his hands land on my shoulders and he turns me around so my back is to him. I have had my hair washed by hairdressers all my life, but no head massage has ever affected me like the strong fingers that are currently moving in circles with just the right pressure on my scalp.

Flynn then moves on to the soap and very slowly washes every inch of my skin, and not in a sexual way. This is his way of calming his soul and acknowledging his behavior earlier. The strange thing is I’m not looking for an apology from him. We are both at fault in tonight’s debacle. I shouldn’t have gone, and he should have trusted me. It’s evident that neither of us have been in a serious relationship before, so we have a lot to learn.

Shocking him, I then take the soap from him and find the same sense of peace washing him, trying to express to him how much he means to me too. This carries into him wrapping me in the softest cream towel and drying me while he stands with a towel wrapped around his waist. The head massage was amazing but having him stand behind me and brush my hair until there isn’t a knot left is next level. I have no clothes with me except the ones that are on the floor that he has threatened to burn, and the moment I reach for my underwear, he kicks them away.

“You aren’t putting them back on.” This time he takes my hand softly as we walk into his bedroom.

“Flynn, you know this is kind of red-flag behavior you’re showing me,” I say, trying to lighten the mood a little. To which he just shrugs his shoulders as we keep walking. “I’m not walking around your apartment naked.”

“We aren’t at Forrest’s place now. Of course you can. I’ll happily have your pussy all over my furniture.”

And he’s back!

I smack him between his shoulder blades as he stops in front of some drawers in his walk-in closet. Pushing the drawer so it bounces open, he takes out a white t-shirt, similar to the black one he had on in the limousine then turns to me to slip it over my head.

“As much as I would love you naked all night, it’s actually not safe with Sassy around. That demon cat’s claws are like blades, and I don’t want this beautiful peachy white skin marked in any way unless it’s from me.” Once he’s satisfied I’m dressed to his liking, he moves to another drawer and drags on a pair of loose gym shorts, not a pair of underwear between us.

“Don’t talk about Sassy like that, she is adorable and so soft and sweet.” I wonder where she is, and it’s as if the mention of her name makes her materialize in the closet, and as she passes Flynn, she lets out a hiss and then walks to me. Circling my ankles, she rubs against me with the deepest purr, and I can’t help but start laughing.

“See, I told you she is a demon,” he says as I reach down and pick her up, and she snuggles straight into me with soft little purrs as I stroke her back.

“What have you done to this poor little cat to make her hate you?” I kiss her on the top of the head as I start following Flynn out of the room.

“Tried to love her. Obviously, I only attract strong argumentative pussies.” He thinks he is funny, and I have to give him points for that joke, because it does sound about right.

After getting a glass of water, Flynn tries to feed me and is not too happy with my refusal to eat. We head into the living room to snuggle up on the couch. He gets me settled and then walks to the glass music room that borders one of the walls of the room. Shuffling through some of his records, he places a few on top of each other on the record player and the crackle of scratches of yesteryear comes through the surround sound in the room.

“Who is this?” I ask as a crooning man’s raspy voice starts singing.

“A great Australian icon, Jimmy Barnes, who tried his hand at a soul album. It’s perfection.” Standing in front of me, he looks down at Sassy who is still in my arms.

“Right, you’ve had enough time. She’s mine now, so bugger off.” He reaches down to take her from my arms as I’m laughing. He sounded so Australian when the words slip out of his mouth. His time there is still buried deep inside him.

Of course, Sassy starts to hiss at him, and I just wave him away and put her safely on the ground.

“Off you go, little lady. I think your daddy needs a hug now.” She looks up at me and is clearly not impressed but starts slowly moving to her bed next to the fire. She fluffs it up for herself by lifting her claws up and down and then turning in a circle until she is satisfied and then snuggles into her spot for the night.

“Oh, I’m your daddy now, am I?” He flops onto the couch, lying down and pulling me on top of him.

“Not a chance. We are never going down that path.” I smirk at him.

“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”

“Of course you’d be into it.” I roll my eyes at him, and as we both smile at each other, the ease we feel together settles in, and I could just lie here all night with him.

The tension in both our bodies is gone, and with my head on his chest, the sound of his heart beating is mesmerizing me into a semi-conscious state.

Until he speaks in the most beautiful rich voice, so genuine that it vibrates through his chest too.

“Before you, I have never felt such rage over a woman.

“Before you, I have never felt so scared of losing someone.”

He takes a deep breath.

“But most of all…” He pauses. “Before you… I have never felt love like I feel for you.”

My heart explodes, and I know it will never be the same again.