Chapter 3 Damian
DAMIAN
Will? I’ve been replaced by Will? Who even is this guy?
Some jackass Kit met at a party? Kit’s blowing me off, and for what?
To suck this dick’s dick or something? Damn it.
I knew I should have picked a horror game instead of this shitty fucking home decorating nonsense.
Now I’ve lost Kit for an entire evening.
What was I thinking? Come on, Damian. Use your head!
I’m tempted to sulk, so I do. I throw on my cosiest black hoodie, change into some oversized grey joggers, and slouch downstairs to make myself a comfort snack.
Unfortunately, my plans of brooding in peace go out the window when I find Dad and Leah already in the kitchen.
Leah’s nagging Dad about some misdemeanour or another while he hums noncommittally from inside our overstocked fridge.
I wonder if I can convince him to make me a ham sandwich while he’s there.
I did spend a couple of hours in the gym this morning after all, and ham is protein, right?
With heavy limbs, I heave myself onto one of the breakfast stools and let the scrape of metal across the cold tiled floor announce my entrance. Dad at least looks happy to see me.
“Ah, Damian, you’re home. How was class today?” he asks, bravely cutting off Leah mid-rant. My stepmum makes her thoughts on the matter clear by snatching up her phone and stabbing at the screen viciously.
“Yeah, not bad,” I sigh, slumping down on the kitchen island. “I had a couple of economics lectures, so I’m pretty fried.”
“Maths always did that to you,” Dad chuckles, pulling half a melon from the crisper. Damn. There goes my hope for a sandwich. “So, what are you boys up to this evening? Any big plans?”
“Yes, will we be suffering through crashes and explosions all night long?” Leah chips in, narrowing her eyes at me accusingly. Or at least I think she does. It’s hard to tell with her sometimes. It could just be that her false eyelashes are too heavy.
“No. Kit’s going out on a date, so I’m staying in and catching up on some reading.” I drop my head dramatically onto the countertop, just so that everyone knows how I feel about the prospect.
“Good for Kit,” Leah shrugs, snatching a slice of Dad’s melon and storming from the room in a gust of cold fury.
“Bloody hell, Dad. What did you do?”
“Oh, don’t mind Leah,” Dad says, waving his carving knife around flippantly. “I just found out I have to be in Norway for her birthday. But never mind that, what’s this about a date? I didn’t know Kit had a boyfriend.”
“He doesn’t. Well, at least, I don’t think he does. Some twat called Will took a shine to him at that party we went to a few weeks back.”
My dad stops dead, his sharp blade suspended dangerously above the massacred melon. “Is this Will trying to take advantage of Kit?”
“No,” I admit reluctantly. “Not necessarily. I just don’t like the way he looks at him.”
“How Kit looks at Will?”
I shake my head. “No, how Will looks at Kit. It’s like he’s checking out a piece of meat.”
Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating. But what am I supposed to do?
Ignore that teeny, tiny part of me that might, maybe, sort of want to cave in Will’s stupid skull whenever his eyes dip south of Kit’s waist?
I thought we were meant to listen to our intuition, go with our gut and all that mystical shit.
And my gut’s telling me that Will’s a sleazy wanker.
“Hmm, I’m not sure I like the sound of this,” Dad says, turning back to his rhythmic slicing. “Where are they going on their date?”
“I dunno yet. I’m going to help Kit choose an outfit when he gets back, so I suppose I’ll find out then.”
Dad quickly checks the time on the clock over his shoulder, then swings back around to point his blade in my direction. “Okay, listen up before he gets back. You know that Kit’s not like you and me, son. He needs handling with more care.”
Well, that’s not entirely true. I once saw Kit floor a guy twice his height and double his weight with a single punch, all over a stolen cheeseburger. Still, I nod regardless since Dad seems to be on my side about this whole date debacle.
“I think you should tag along tonight. Make sure things don’t go too far, if you know what I mean.”
It’s tempting, really tempting. Except Kit would hit the roof if he found out he’d been assigned a chaperone, even more so considering he’s never been recruited for any of my dates.
“I’m not sure Kit would like that,” I concede grudgingly. “I don’t really want to piss him off.”
“What if he didn’t know you were there?”
I frown, trying to figure out if Dad’s really suggesting what I think he is. “Are you… Are you asking me to spy on him?”
“I’m asking you to protect him. Do you really want some horny student trying his luck with your stepbrother?”
The thought of Will, perfectly nice, slimy Will, towering over Kit, pushing him down, unbuttoning his…
“Oh god, no,” I splutter. “No, you’re right. I’ll call Jasper, and we’ll see what we can do.”
“Good man. I knew I could rely on you.” Dad slaps me on the back, thankfully with the hand devoid of a lethal weapon. “Remember, Kit is precious, pure. We need to make sure he’s looked after.”
I puff out my chest proudly. “You can count on me, Dad. I won’t let you down.”
“See that you don’t,” he says, jabbing his massive knife at me one last time before using it to slide the melon off the countertop and onto one of Leah’s prized golden plates.
“Now, take this upstairs to snack on while you get Kit ready. I’d be willing to bet that neither of you has so much as looked at a piece of fruit today. ”
It might not be the sandwich I was after, but it’ll do. I quickly pop one of the juicy segments in my mouth and hightail it out of the kitchen. “Thanks, Dad,” I garble, almost choking on the enormous chunk.
“Make sure you leave some for Kit!” Dad shouts up the stairs after me.
Kit’s bedroom is much bigger than mine, even bigger than Dad and Leah’s, much to my stepmum’s disapproval.
When they moved in, Dad said that if Kit were going to take dancing seriously, then he’d need enough room to practise at home.
That way, he could catch up with the others in his class who’d been pointing their toes in cold dance halls across the land since they were potty-trained.
As always, Kit’s room is spotless. The cleaners love him because he never leaves a thing out of place.
I set the melon down on his obsessively organised vanity table and make myself at home on his elaborate, four-poster bed.
After I’ve made myself comfortable, I pull out my phone and text my old school friend, Jasper.
He doesn’t know it yet, but tonight, he’s helping me stalk my stepbrother. Whether he likes it or not.
“What about this?” Kit asks, walking out of his en suite and twirling around in the tenth outfit I’ve hated this evening.
Can I burn those jeans? I feel like I want to burn those jeans.
“Isn’t it all a bit… tight?”
“Damian Hansel, you take that back,” Kit gasps, folding his arms across his chest. The move stretches his ridiculously fitted white T-shirt to breaking point, but that’s nothing compared to the clear dickprint I can see at the front of his trousers.
And if I can see it, so can everyone else, which means this outfit is not happening.
“Kit, how are you going to sit through an entire movie in those?”
My stepbrother rolls his eyes in exasperation. “The jeans are meant to be like this,” he says, swaying from side to side. “Trust me, if you were a gay man, you’d understand.”
No, if I were a gay man, I’d still want to tear them from his body and banish the stupid things from existence. But whatever.
“Kit, I can see your penis,” I counter.
“Can you really?” Kit blushes, busying himself at his vanity and not making a move to change the fucking jeans. “I hadn’t noticed.”
Liar.
He scoops up some fancy styling clay and works it through his already tousled hair. “So, what did you decide to do tonight then? Working on your essay?”
“Nah,” I shrug, watching enviously as he flicks his fringe into place across his forehead. “I took your advice and texted Jasper. I’m picking him up in about ten minutes.”
“Oh, cool. So we’re leaving at about the same time.”
Yeah, funny that.
“You’re going to the cinema in Beckenham, right? The one they renovated last year?” Well, it wouldn’t do to turn up at the wrong theatre now, would it?
“Yes, I’m so excited. It’s showing a load of old slasher movies.”
“Have fun with that.” I scrunch up my nose. I hope Will has a strong stomach.
Wait, no, I don’t. I hope he’s so repulsed and disgusted that he throws up all over his own shoes.
“I always do,” Kit calls over his shoulder as he rummages through his wardrobe.
“And you’ll call me if you need me, yeah?”
“I’m going to the cinema,” Kit laughs, shrugging on the leather jacket I bought him last Christmas. “What do you think’s going to happen?”
“Just… just remember the offers there, okay?”
Kit swipes on a final coat of lip balm and turns to scrutinise the final effect in his mirror. He nods appreciatively, and somehow pockets the little tube in his painted-on jeans. “Come on, let’s go. If you hang back a bit, maybe you can say hello to Will.”
Oh, joy. Maybe if I’m sneaky enough, I can scare the fucker off before this date even starts. Although Kit would probably string me up by my balls if he found out.
Urgh, all this espionage is giving me a headache. This is not how I thought I’d be spending my Friday night.
“So, you invited me here to spy on your stepbrother?”
“Yes,” I hiss at my lifelong best friend and eternal pain-in-my-ass for the sixtieth fucking time.
“Okay, and you know that’s batshit crazy, right?” We might be sitting in the dark, but I can feel Jasper staring at me, judging me.
“My dad wants me to protect Kit,” I say, as if that’s a completely rational explanation for our current car park stakeout.
“Oh, please. Kit needs about as much protection as a feral badger.” He’s clearly remembering Kit’s killer right hook. Remember the cheeseburger thief? Yeah, that was Jasper. A towering wall of square-jawed muscle, taken down by someone who barely comes up to his chin.
“And you’re not even being a good spy,” he continues. “You’ve driven your own car and parked up in a brightly lit area that’s totally visible from the cinema foyer we’re meant to be watching.”
“How am I supposed to spy on him if we can’t even see the bloody place?” I ask defensively. “And we’re in the most shadowy corner of the car park.”
I checked.
“Why not stop a few streets away and walk here?”
“Because it’s cold outside.”
“Like I said. You’re a shit spy,” Jasper laughs.
“As if you’d be any better.”
“Hey, I was an Explorer Scout. I could spy the shit out of this whole scenario if I wanted to.”
“Oh, shut up and eat your Nando’s,” I snipe, throwing a handful of chips into my mouth.
We finish up our dinner in silence, though that doesn’t stop Jasper from annoying the shit out of me as he slurps his milkshake.
His exaggerated gulps grate on my every nerve, and I breathe a sigh of relief when, after almost an hour of watching the same fucking doorway, he finally gets bored enough to nod off.
That’s how Jasper misses our mark leaving the cinema, his neck cricked at an unnatural angle, and drool pooling on his jumper. I almost shake him awake when Kit walks out, but then I remember how irritating he’s been about the whole stakeout thing, and I let him slumber on.
Kit and Will seem pretty relaxed for two people on a first date, and for a moment, I consider that I might have been worried over nothing.
Though that quickly changes when I look closer and realise that Kit’s leather jacket is nowhere to be seen.
You know, the one I spent hours searching for online to make sure it was absolutely perfect.
And it’s not because Kit’s taken it off.
Oh no, it’s because someone else has draped him in their own subpar coat.
Fucking Will.
The pair stroll hand in hand away from the cinema, chatting and laughing and fucking beaming at each other as they come to a stop beneath a lamppost and bathe themselves in the chalky light.
Then, like they were waiting for just the right moment to stab the knife into my heart, Will leans down to seal Kit’s lips with an unworthy kiss.
And my world explodes into a haze of red.
No, Kit is mine. Mine. I waited years for a brother like him, and now what? I have to just sit here and watch as I lose Kit to this asshole who will never, never appreciate how precious he is. My heart sinks.
And what’s worse is that I’m stuck watching my greatest fear unfold, and I’m powerless to stop it. Yes, I promised Dad I’d protect Kit, but I doubt that me tearing Will’s tongue from his head over a stupid kiss is what he had in mind.
You’d have thought I’d be used to the fact that Will and Kit are hooking up by now. For fuck’s sake, Kit even gave me details after the last party we went to, because we tell each other everything.
It’s the first and only time I’ve regretted that fact.
But hearing about Kit and Will together and seeing it are two very different things. At least before, I could pretend that he and Will were just friends. I could pretend that Kit was mine and mine alone.
But as Kit wraps his arms around Will’s neck and the dickhead’s hands slip further and further down his back, I can’t pretend any more.
The time has come for me to share my stepbrother, and I’m not ready.
What am I going to do when I’m not the first person he turns to anymore? When I’m not the only one to put that lopsided grin on his otherwise elegant face?
When I’m not his number one person in the whole wide world?
Will pulls Kit closer, and I watch my stepbrother slip away from me…
And my chest fucking aches.