The Payback Plan

Chapter 14

14

Paige was alone when she woke the next day – very late. The clock told her it was after one in the afternoon but she was hardly surprised. Another night of marathon sex might have been healing in a way she’d have never credited but it hadn’t left a lot of time for sleep.

Rolling on her side, she stared at the doorway, a.k.a. the portal to the real world. It was tempting to stay in Oliver’s room another day. He could bring her laptop up and she could work in between bouts of mind-blowing rumpy-pumpy .

She was pretty sure he would be happy to oblige.

And if Oliver had been here when she woke up, she may well have decided why the hell not? But he wasn’t and putting things off was not who she was. Add to that a very timely notification on her phone from a client panicking about some urgent work and she reluctantly left the bed to face the music.

Twenty minutes later, freshly showered, she was standing in the kitchen near Pavarotti’s cage, coffee in hand as she stared out the window. Oliver was on the beach and she tracked his path as he trudged towards the end in his standard coat and beanie to ward off the chill of yet another grey day.

Was he dictating his book or was he on the beach trying to digest what had gone down between them this weekend? Like she was.

She couldn’t believe the events of the last thirty-six hours. Not the sex. Not the way she’d checked all her baggage and common sense at the door to his room and left it there. Not how she’d opened up to him yesterday about what Harvey had done to her.

Outside her family she’d only ever told three other people – Bella, Sienna and Astrid. They weren’t the only ones who knew, of course. Several police officers, a couple of lawyers, hundreds of people at Oxford University and probably a zillion internet users were all privy to her secret shame.

Unfortunately, she had no control over that. Only over who she told. And she’d chosen to tell Oliver.

A flock of seagulls took flight in front of him and she wondered if he was missing Casper dashing around, chasing birds and waves and fetching the ball as many times as Oliver was willing to throw it. He looked over his shoulder for a moment and Paige could see his mouth moving. Dictating his book, she assumed.

It made her ridiculously happy that he was persevering with the book and that it was coming together so well. She smiled then caught herself, her mouth slackening.

She had nothing to smile about.

Okay yeah, she’d got herself laid six ways to Sunday. With Bella’s ex . Who she was supposed to be messing with , not… going down on in the shower.

Oh God, idiot – do not think about the shower. They’d had their tryst and now she’d stepped out of the room and was back into reality.

The guilt piled in like she’d known it would but the real problem was, she didn’t know what happened next. From the time she’d pulled herself out of the pit of despair four years ago, determined to start from scratch, she’d always known what was next. She’d had a strategy to get her life back on track and she’d stuck to it, seen it through.

The same thing had happened with the payback plan. She’d had a strategy and all she’d had to do was stick to it. But, her heart was no longer in it, which meant not only had she betrayed Bella, she’d sent a wrecking ball through the group objective.

She’d broken the chain.

The weight of her guilt was oppressive as she followed Oliver’s progress. It had all seemed so simple in the beginning – a spot of harmless karmic rebalancing of the universe. But now it felt like the universe was having the last laugh. Getting its own payback and maybe it was just what she deserved?

She’d not only wronged Bella but she’d also been lying to Oliver, coming into his house under false pretences. And while that had felt righteous – noble even – back at O’Hare in December, it felt plain deceitful right now.

Sighing heavily, she tried to think of a way forward but it felt impossible, her brain a quagmire of indecision. She contemplated ringing her sister and dumping this all in her lap but she didn’t want to drag her into the mess, not when there were three women who were already involved.

She should be talking to them .

Well, not Bella. She couldn’t even contemplate that right now, fresh out of Oliver’s bed. But Astrid and Sienna? Yes, they’d know what to do, right? After all, a problem shared was a problem halved. Her pulse tripped a little as she picked up her phone.

WhatsApp. Monday 14.00GMT.

To: Sienna, Astrid

Subject line: SOS!!!

Paige

I fucked up. Are you guys free for a call??

Paige waited, her eyes fixed on Oliver’s back as he trudged ever closer to the end of the beach. Her heart was in her mouth, hoping her friends would be around. It was nine in the morning in both New York and Massachusetts so the timing wasn’t bad and she didn’t think she could sit with this any longer, having decided to get it off her chest. Also, if she didn’t do it now she may well chicken out altogether.

Strike while the iron was hot. Or the guilt was hot anyway.

But, oh God, what if they didn’t want to be her friend any more after revealing she’d betrayed Bella in the most heinous way a woman could betray a friend.

Three little dots appeared and Paige’s throat constricted even further.

Sienna

I can jump on a call.

Astrid

Me too!

Paige never knew it was possible to be so utterly relieved and yet so full of dread at the same time. She didn’t think she could bear it if they hated her which would, of course, be a perfectly natural reaction.

Fingers trembling, she hit the video call icon in the PM group.

Her face appeared on screen, her freckles popping in her pale complexion as if to broadcast her guilt even further. They’d always been a true barometer of her emotions. The phone’s muted ring felt like the chimes of doom as she waited for the other two to pick up.

Sienna, who was driving her car, beat Astrid by a millisecond and Paige almost cried when their faces filled their third of the screen. Seeing them again took her right back to that day they’d first met and she was both grateful and even more wretched that she’d screwed it all up.

It seemed like this was the morning for contrasting emotions!

Astrid was the first to speak with no perfunctory hello. She looked more aglow than usual, her cheeks pink – she’d probably been to one of those hot yoga sessions she loved so much – and her eyes bright. And why wouldn’t they be? She was on the righteous path, unlike Paige who had submitted to the bloody devil.

‘What happened?’ she demanded straight out of the gate. ‘Are you okay?’

Paige shook her head. She was decidedly not okay. Which sucked considering she’d just had a weekend of debauchery that had completely rewired her damn brain. ‘I did a bad, bad thing.’

‘Uh oh,’ Sienna said, her eyebrows beetling together. Even frowning she managed to look like the honey-blonde goddess from the airport. When Paige frowned she looked like her uncle Fred who resembled a giant ginger Santa Claus. ‘You want to start at the beginning?’

The beginning? Paige wasn’t even sure where the beginning was. How had this happened? When she tried to parse the events of the last month or so, she couldn’t really pinpoint a moment when she’d started to mellow towards Oliver.

‘Something’s happened… between Oliver and me.’

‘Something?’ Sienna pushed.

Paige nodded miserably, her eyes still on Oliver. C’mon woman, big girl pants… ‘Promise me you’ll let me get this out before either of you say anything or I might not be able to get through it?’

‘Paige.’ Sienna’s frown deepened as she pressed her lips together. ‘You’re scaring me a little now.’

‘Of course we promise,’ Astrid agreed, a sudden intenseness in her eyes, like she was invested in every word. ‘You know you can tell us anything This is a no-judgement zone.’

Yeah. Until it wasn’t .

‘Now, come on, deep breath,’ Sienna coaxed. ‘You’ll feel better once you’ve told us.’

Okay, well, here went nothing. ‘We… kissed.’ Which was a massive understatement but she needed to start small.

Sienna blinked at the confession, her eyebrows conveying her surprise by leaping almost to her hairline.

Paige cleared her throat as the lump intensified. ‘The first time?—’

‘The first time?’ Sienna interrupted, her voice an octave higher at the end.

‘Sissi,’ Astrid chided softly, using her nickname for Sienna. ‘We promised.’

‘Oh God, sorry, you’re right.’ Sienna grimaced. ‘Keep going.’

‘The first time he was tipsy and he kissed me. The next time’ – Paige shut her eyes briefly before opening them and looking straight at these women she’d grown to love in such a short period of time – ‘I kissed him when I was a little tipsy. So we just’ – she shrugged – ‘put it down to alcohol.’

‘Hell, we’ve all been there, babe,’ Astrid said, quickly dismissing the episodes. ‘Totally happens.’

Sienna side-eyed Astrid, her expression conveying that it didn’t happen in her world but kept her lips zipped.

‘The third time…’ Her voice wobbled. ‘We were both stone-cold sober. And I can make up a bunch of excuses about feeling sad about Casper leaving and comfort and blah blah blah but really, we were just totally fucking hot for each other.’

There it was. Right there. She had the hots for Oliver Prendergast.

There were several long moments of silence during which Paige braced for their condemnation. Astrid broke the silence. ‘Are we still talking first base here?’

Paige couldn’t even bring herself to say the words. She just shook her head, misery and condemnation like a yoke around her neck.

‘Uh oh!’ Sienna blinked at the screen.

Astrid ended another long pause. ‘So, is it just sex?’ she pressed. ‘Or is it something more?’

‘Oh God.’ Paige rubbed her forehead, her gaze flicking to Oliver again before returning to the screen. ‘I think I actually might… like him. Like, really like him.’ She’d told him about Harvey. That had to mean something, right?

‘Like have feelings for him, like him?’ Astrid pushed.

Paige nodded. ‘Maybe… yeah.’ But what kind of feelings she didn’t want to think about just yet. She was still processing how she could be sexually attracted to a guy who had hurt her friend so badly.

‘Paige…’ Sienna expelled a slow audible breath obviously trying to temper her words. ‘I’m not trying to make you feel worse. It’s just… he jilted Bella.’

‘I know,’ she wailed. ‘I know that.’ God, didn’t she know that. ‘It’s okay.’ Paige squared her shoulders. ‘You can tell me I’m a terrible person. You can cut me out. You can expel me from this group. In fact, I think I’d rather it.’

Before the phone call she’d been dreading them excommunicating her, but right now, facing these women, she’d take any punishment to take the edge off the guilt.

‘Oh honey,’ Astrid murmured, her voice rich with empathy. ‘We’re not going to do that.’

‘Absolutely not,’ Sienna added quickly despite obviously finding it harder to get her head around the turn of events. ‘We have each other’s back, no matter what.’

Their swift support meant a lot but Paige knew this was one helluva no matter what .

‘I guess I’m just struggling with…’ Sienna’s expression was earnest as she stared into the camera and right into Paige’s soul. ‘How it happened?’

‘I am too, if it’s any consolation,’ Paige admitted.

‘Bella did say right at the beginning he wasn’t a bad person,’ Astrid said and hell, if Paige didn’t want to kiss her.

‘And she’s right,’ Paige agreed quickly. ‘He’s actually a really good person.’

Sienna jutted her chin. ‘Who did a really shitty thing.’

Paige nodded. ‘Yep.’ There was no disputing that Oliver had blotted his copy book. But instead of feeling outrage over his disappearing act like she had when she’d first heard about it, Paige felt a pang of emotion for the guy who, in ultimately trying to do the right thing by Bella, had completely ballsed it up.

‘But here’s the thing,’ Astrid reasoned, ‘if we’ve learned anything thus far, it’s that there’s more than one side to a story. Look at me, I jumped the gun because I was angry and hurt and yes, Chase should have explained himself but… maybe there’s more behind what Oliver did than meets the eye? All I’m saying is that when we came up with this plan in Chicago fired up on booze and sugar and our swift ride-or-die bond, everything felt cut and dried but, maybe it’s not?’

She sounded pensive again and Paige wondered if she was reflecting on her own journey with Aiden? Was Astrid having doubts too? Or was Paige reading too much into it?

‘Except for Horrible Harvey,’ Sienna muttered.

‘Oh yeah.’ Astrid’s lip curled in distaste. ‘Fuck him.’

Paige blinked back tears. She hadn’t been sure how this call would go but she’d been fairly sure Astrid and Sienna would be super pissed. At the very least Sienna could have easily reneged on her commitment to cut Harvey off at the knees – fair was fair.

They’d been wonderful though and if that gleam in Sienna’s eyes was any indication, she was more determined than ever to settle the score with Harvey.

‘So,’ Sienna continued. ‘When are you going to tell Bella?’

The question hit right between the eyes. Tell Bella… Bloody hell, she hadn’t even thought that far ahead. It had taken all her courage to tell these two. ‘Oh.’ She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth then released it. ‘I… I wasn’t… I don’t know if…’

‘You have to tell Bella.’ Sienna’s tone brooked no argument. ‘You can’t tell us and not her. It’s not a secret either of us wants to keep, right?’ She paused briefly to look at Astrid, who nodded slowly, before continuing in a softer tone, ‘I know it will be hard, but it’s way better to get this out in the open, hon.’

Ugh. Sienna was right of course. And maybe that was why she’d told them. Because she knew, deep down, they’d make her do the right thing.

But oh em gee . Just the thought made her want to throw up.

‘Sissi’s right,’ Astrid agreed gently if a little reluctantly.

‘Yeah.’ Paige nodded. ‘I know. The last thing I want is to compromise you both.’

‘Okay. So, you’ll tell her?’ Clearly, Sienna wasn’t going to let Paige off the hook.

She sighed. ‘Yes. Sometime today. After she’s finished work.’ Paige was aware today was Redemption Day for Chase. And for Bella. It would be adding insult to injury for Paige to drop her bombshell before the event. ‘My night.’

‘Good.’ Sienna nodded approvingly. ‘It’s going to work out, Paige.’

Astrid narrowed her eyes a little. ‘Are you going to be okay? Do you need us in on the call?’

Oh, hellz no. Absolutely bloody not. It was going to be hard enough to do without an audience but she knew Astrid’s query was only born out of concern. ‘No. All good.’ At the far end of the beach, Oliver turned and headed back. ‘I’d better go. Rehearse what to say.’

‘You got this,’ Sienna said, mouth turning up in a sympathetic half-smile.

Tears threatened again. ‘Thank you so much for being so amazing about this. I don’t know what I did to have two women like you in my life but I am so eternally grateful. Your support has been gobsmacking.’

‘Of course, any time,’ Astrid said, waving it away as if Paige had committed some trivial faux pas instead of sleeping with her friend’s ex who she was supposed to be fucking with, but not like that!

Astrid was being super understanding which made Paige wonder again if things weren’t going according to plan with Aiden.

‘Okay, well… I’ll let you know how it goes.’ Paige waved at the screen. ‘Bye for now.’

‘Bye,’ Astrid and Sienna parroted together.

Paige laughed at their manic waving, feeling cheered just by their presence. As they hung up, their faces disappeared from the screen until it was just her looking at herself and she quickly hung up too. She didn’t know how long it would be until she could look at herself again but it certainly wasn’t now.

* * *

Paige was at her usual spot when Oliver got in from the beach half an hour later. She was working on the urgent files her client had sent and frankly grateful for the distraction of it. Not that there wasn’t plenty of work to catch up on after her thirty-six-hour time out. But a deadline always helped focus the mind.

Mostly anyway. She was excruciatingly aware of the opening of the media room door and his footsteps as he ascended the stairs. The hairs on her nape stood to attention as he entered the open-plan living area and her fingers faltered on her keyboard as he said, ‘Hey,’ somewhere behind her.

Taking a deep steadying breath, she resumed typing as she repeated his greeting. ‘Hey.’ And then. ‘Still kinda wild out there?’

‘Ooh yeah,’ he confirmed. ‘You want another coffee?’

‘Yes please.’

She tapped away, trying to ignore his presence as he moved around the kitchen but it was impossible to do when he delivered her mug then pulled a chair out at the end of the table and sat. Her gaze was drawn to him and even with hat hair, chapped lips and pink, wind-burned cheeks, her heart flipped.

‘I have some more words to send.’

‘Oh, excellent.’ She nodded, relieved that his opening salvo wasn’t about last night .

‘Yeah.’ He blew on his coffee. ‘I reckon I’m about halfway now.’

‘That’s so good,’ she enthused. ‘You’ll be done before you know it. When you’re finished you should get some people close to you, who also knew your dad, to beta read it. People who were privy to your relationship but who can be objective, too. Point out inconsistencies or where you might have pulled your punches. Stuff like that is invaluable.’

He nodded. ‘Great idea.’

‘Your mother would probably be a good one.’

Laughing, Oliver shook his head. ‘Ah, no. I don’t think so. I love my mother but she’s not the best person if you want objectivity. There’s still a lot of complicated emotions causing her to excuse and defend him even though his behaviour ruined their marriage and almost ruined her.’

Paige felt sorry for Oliver’s mother. It can’t have been easy sharing her husband with the world. Being invisible. Even to him. Paige had never been in love – Harvey had ruined any chance of that happening – but maybe given its power to break a person, that wasn’t such a bad thing?

Look how it had wrecked Bella, Astrid and Sienna.

‘Plus.’ He smiled, oblivious to her internal wrangling. ‘She believes celebrity biographies are classless, darling .’

Paige laughed as he, she assumed, mimicked his mother. ‘Okay, maybe not her then.’

He grinned. ‘I have some people I can ask.’

‘Excellent.’

He sipped his coffee, Paige hyper aware of his scrutiny as he peered at her over the rim of his mug. ‘Are you okay?’ he asked eventually.

Paige shrugged because, the truth was, she didn’t know how she felt. Not really. Talking it over with Astrid and Sienna had helped but she wouldn’t really know the extent of her feelings until she’d spoken to Bella. Which was going to be tough and she was already wishing she hadn’t agreed.

Everything inside her wanted to run far away from it.

‘I’m going to call Bella later and tell her.’ She hadn’t planned on sharing it with Oliver but she figured if she put it out there, spoke it out loud, she’d have to see it through. Plus, it was only fair she told him given he might experience some potential blow back.

Slowly, Oliver placed his mug on the table, his brows knitting together in a deep frown. ‘ Why would you do that?’

Paige blinked. So much for hoping Oliver would give her some accountability. ‘You expect me to keep this from her?’

‘Um… yes?’ His expression was incredulous. Like he couldn’t believe they were having this conversation.

‘I can’t carry this around with me and pretend it didn’t happen every time I see her or talk to her from now on.’ They’d be coming face to face in New York soon and Paige knew she couldn’t have this secret hanging around her neck on Bella’s big night. ‘She’s my friend, Oliver.’

‘Exactly.’

‘You don’t think she deserves to know that I slept with her ex? Who jilted her on the morning of her wedding via text .’

‘Hell no.’ It was followed with a very definite shake of his head. ‘You ever heard that expression, ignorance is bliss?’

Paige frowned as realisation dawned. So, this was how some men could so easily do shitty things to women because they viewed issues through the lens of whether they could get away with it or not. She’d just thought, given all the insight she’d gleaned into him these past weeks, Oliver wouldn’t be one of them.

Which made her mad. ‘You’re only worried about how this will make you look.’ She glared at him. ‘A little late for that, isn’t it?’

His lips flattened. ‘I’m a big boy, Paige. I can own my part in this but, as you pointed out, she already thinks I’m pond scum. I don’t have much to lose.’

The inference being that Paige did. And she did.

‘If you were truly team Bella you’d realise you weren’t doing it for her benefit. You’re doing it to alleviate your guilt. So you’ll feel unburdened. But what about her? Have you thought about how badly this could hurt her?’

Paige swallowed, hating herself a little more. ‘Yes.’

He nodded as if she’d just made his point. ‘But it doesn’t matter because you’ll feel better, right? Even if she feels worse.’

Paige closed her eyes. She hadn’t thought about it like that. Only how good it would feel after it was out and she didn’t have to keep it some deep, dark secret. She was being selfish and he was calling her out on it.

‘Is that what you really want, Paige?’

His direct appeal hit her straight in the feels. No, it was not what she wanted. She wanted to go back in time and not have kissed him, not have slept with him. But she had and the whole situation was complicated . Opening her eyes, she stared morosely at the table top. ‘She’ll feel a lot worse if she finds out another way.’

‘How’s she going to find out, Paige? Only you and I know and I’m sure as shit not going to tell her.’

But they weren’t the only two, were they? She wasn’t the only spider in this tangled web they’d weaved. Except, she couldn’t tell him that. Not without the whole sorry saga coming out.

Lifting her gaze to his, she said, ‘These things have a way of eventually coming out.’

He let out a slow breath, placing his palms flat on the table. ‘Okay, look… do you know what’s going on with us, Paige? What are we doing exactly? Are we a… thing?’

If Paige had been taking a sip of her coffee right now, she’d have choked on it for sure. What the hell? Where had that come from? Was he serious about having this conversation now? Or was he trying to make some point? Either way, his blue eyes didn’t waver as he waited for her answer.

Panicked, her pulse skipping a little too fast, she blurted the first thing that came to her mind. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. We’ve known each other for six weeks. This situation has always been temporary.’ Bedroom antics or not – their time together had always been set to expire. ‘I’m… going to freaking Edinburgh next month.’

That was pretty much the complete opposite end of the country.

‘And you’re’ – she waved her hand in his general direction – ‘Oliver freaking Prendergast. Your father was so famous, the paparazzi follow you a round.’

She quaked at the thought. That alone was a red flag. Only last week Doris had shown her a pic of Oliver on an online scandal rag entering a posh restaurant that had been snapped during his visit to London the previous weekend.

‘I live a quiet, small life. I run my own business. I mind my own business. I’m a peach emoji for crying out loud. There is no world where you and I are a thing.’

There – she’d said it. It had come out in a stream of consciousness but she’d meant every word. Whatever had gone down between them had involved some weird kind of synergy that, had they met in the outside world, would never have happened.

If her quick dismissal affected him, he didn’t show it. He just nodded. ‘Right. So what you’re saying is, you’re going to potentially blow up a friendship over some’ – he stopped abruptly as if searching for the right words – ‘hot, spontaneous, mutual, convenient, going-nowhere shagging?’

Paige flinched as he boiled their weekend together down to its most base elements. And, from the outside looking in, it was a fair assessment. But he’d been on the inside and it hadn’t felt like that. Not to her, nor she thought, to him either.

Gathering herself, Paige took a mental step back from the emotion of the moment. Oliver was making salient points. And she may even have taken his counsel had she not promised Sienna and Astrid she’d talk to Bella.

But she had.

Sienna had asked her not to make them complicit and, salient points or not, she wouldn’t put them in that position.

‘Are you prepared for it if Bella decides to cut you out of her life like she did me?’

Yeah, but you deserved it, Oliver. That’s what she wanted to say. But the truth was, if Bella cut her off, she’d deserve it too. Paige might not have visited some grand public humiliation on Bella as Oliver had but what she’d done, in many ways, was much more personal. And those often cut the deepest.

As if he knew he’d been too harsh, Oliver huffed out a sigh. ‘Look…’ His gaze searched hers. ‘Just think about it, okay? That’s all I’m saying.’

Like she was going to be able to think about anything else…