The Pen Pal (Steamy Shorts #22)
Chapter 1
Subject: Uhm, hello? Nice to meet you?
Dear Amelia,
I’m not entirely sure how this works or why I’m even writing this.
To be completely transparent, I’ve had a few drinks tonight (birthdays will do that to a man, especially when out with friends), and it seems I’ve impulsively enrolled in some kind of anonymous penpal program called “WriteYourDesires,” which is either a matchmaking service, a scam, or apparently a real thing.
We’ll see. At least I didn’t have to whip out my credit card, so there’s that.
Anyway, hello.
I’m Adam (one of the guidelines said there was no need to say your full name and other personal details, but this really is my actual name.
Scout’s honor). Just turned thirty-eight today (hence the bourbon or whiskey?
I don’t know. I let my friend order my drink, which is not the best idea.
DO NOT EVER MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AS ME).
I work from home as a software engineer, which sounds more glamorous than it is.
I don’t know what I expected from this. Maybe just a message from someone who isn’t trying to sell me something or ask for tech support.
Oh God, this sounds exactly how my ex used to describe me—boring.
Anyway, you don’t have to reply. But if you do, I promise I’ll be more interesting next time.
Regards,
Adam
P.S. Is it weird that this email took me twenty minutes to write? Drunk typing with correct punctuation is a Herculean task. You’re welcome.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Happy Birthday to YOUUU (insert jazz hands)
Dear Sir Adam,
You really need to ask your friend what he ordered. I am so not the smartest gal on the planet but I will never ever ever drink anything I don’t know the contents of. Although I’m known to eat bread past its expiry date, that’s beside the point.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY (yes I know it’s belated because time zones, maybe?
But yeah, not putting my address here and you shouldn’t too because I just might be a serial killer out to hunt solitary men who get drunk on their birthdays) BUT still, I can’t believe you joined this whole penpal thingy on your birthday like were you trying to be sad?
? Because that is criminal and unacceptable.
I should’ve planned your birthday FOR YOU (I’m a party planner, 25, professional cake taster, balloon wrangler, and proud owner of three sequined blazers in varying shades of pink, yes really, a woman cannot have enough sequin blazers).
Also this is my first time on WriteYourDesires too!
!! My best friend dared me to sign up because I’ve never had a quote unquote “real boyfriend that makes you proud” (we apparently do not count the 6th grade pirate-themed kiss-and-run disaster which you don’t want to know trust me or even all my flings and hookups), and she says I'm “romantically underdeveloped” which is RUDE but also not entirely inaccurate. I mean, what does that even mean?
Anywayyy I hope your hangover is mild and your inbox is full of good things
Confetti in spirit,
—Amelia (I was going to insert a clown emoji but what if you’re scared of clowns?)
P.S. You’re lucky I’m not in charge of your birthday or there would’ve been llamas and capybaras. Possibly with party hats.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Happy Birthday to YOUUU (insert jazz hands)
Amelia,
First, thank you for the chaotic birthday wishes. I’m mildly terrified of your energy and also slightly comforted by it. Like a glitter bomb that sings.
Second, I followed your advice and asked my friend. It was bourbon, so case closed. And I won’t judge people who eat bread past the expiry date. I drink spoiled milk, and I’m still alive. I’m convinced those BEST BEFORE dates are scams.
I should confess: I don’t know what the rules are here.
Do we write once a day? Once a week? Are we supposed to bare our souls or discuss the weather?
What do they mean ‘darkest desires’? Like eating spaghetti in my bed with my white sheets?
I have no idea. What I do know is that I have more time than I know what to do with, and no one to share it with, so I suppose I’m all in. Whatever this is.
To get us started, tell me ten things you like. Anything. Serious, silly, irrelevant, or strangely specific. Or if you want to go all in, your deepest and darkest desires. After all, that’s what this pen pal program is for, isn’t it?
I want to see how your brain works before I scare you with my list.
Best,
Adam
P.S. I did not expect a llama or capybara threat in my inbox, but I respect it. I want to say I’m glad I didn’t hire you, but you piqued my curiosity, lady. And no, I’m not scared of clowns, but a clown carrying a machete at midnight is an altogether different matter.
From: [email protected]
Subject: *deep breaths* Ten things you’re not ready for
Adam, Adam, Adam.
You asked for my deepest, darkest desires and honestly I was going to behave but then I remembered, I’ve never been good at that. My parents tried but they couldn’t tame me. Misbehaving is in my DNA (consider this a warning).
So here it is. The most random list of things I like, some of which are absolutely not safe for work . You’ve been warned. Good thing you work from home.
TEN THINGS AMELIA LIKES:
Stargazing coz I think I was an astronomer in my past life
Hydrangeas in a mason jar over rose every single time
Coffee that actually tastes good
Mirrors. Lots and lots of them because I’m vain
Now off to the NSFW part
Have public sex at least once in my life
To bite someone just a little and have them growl instead of complain
To be told to keep quiet when I very clearly can’t
To wear nothing but someone’s shirt
To spend an entire weekend indoors, breaking a headboard and possibly the bed frame and ordering takeout
To see someone’s control shatter because of me
I could keep going, but I’d like to stay on this pen pal program and not be arrested by the email police. Also, I’ve come to like you so it would really suck if any of these things scare you off.
Your most corruptible pen pal,
Amelia
P.S. You said you’re a software engineer, right? Just curious, do your hands ever get … tired? Asking for a friend. The friend is me.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Jesus Christ, Amelia. You had me sweating
Amelia,
That was … a list.
I read it twice. Then a third time, purely for research purposes, of course. Thank you to your friend for asking, and the answer is no. My hands do not get tired easily, nor does the rest of my body, for that matter.
You should know, I don’t scare that easily.
You’ll need to try a little harder if your goal is to make me run.
I don’t run, and I don’t let go, either.
I once held onto my Hot Wheels collection until I graduated from college because I didn’t want anyone else to have them.
What’s mine is mine. Just something to keep in mind—a warning of sorts, I guess.
Now, since you were bold enough to share your ten, I’ll do the same. I sincerely hope these don’t scare you.
TEN THINGS I LIKE (You asked for it):
Coffee that actually tastes good.
Lipstick on a woman that stays on even after I devour her mouth or after she devours me.
Now the NSFW part:
Breakfast in bed without any actual food. FYI, I’m not a picky eater.
The sound someone makes when they’re trying not to be loud. Gasps are welcome, whimpers and long moans even better.
Eye contact while I’m inside her.
Fingers tangled in my hair—tugging, yanking, I don’t care. Rip my hair out and I’ll thank you.
Not coming up for air while eating my favorite meal.
Biting, scratching. Bonus if it leaves a mark.
I didn’t realize I liked it too until you mentioned them—mirrors and public sex.
The idea of someone writing to me with one hand and using the other to ... misbehave.
I meant it, Amelia. If you’re trying to scare me off, you’ll need sharper claws.
Yours (still here),
Adam
P.S. The next time you bite, don’t stop at “just a little.” You strike me as someone who’ll go big instead of going home.
From: [email protected]
Subject: So about number 10
Holy mother of God, Adam.
#10 is the one that did me in. The list was already…ahem, let’s call it “mildly disarming” but number ten? That one made me stare at my phone for like a full ten minutes.
Well, sir. I’ve never felt so seen. You might as well have been hovering over my shoulder.
Because, full disclosure, AND DON’T YOU DARE GET SMUG, this email almost took me a little longer than usual to finish. Because some of us are overachievers and multi-taskers who don’t back down from a challenge. Well, sir. I took your advice and went BIG.
Anywayyyyyy.
I’ve been thinking (dangerous, I know). Maybe you should scare me a little. Or at least try. So far, all you’ve done is make me wonder if it’s possible to feel someone’s hands on your skin through a screen. Spoiler: it’s starting to feel like a yes.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go not think about your hands in my hair, or how you said you don’t let go. (Liar, liar, pants on fire)
Yours with absolutely zero shame,
Amelia
P.S. Do you think I’m misbehaving right now?
P.P.S. What would you do if I was? Will you punish me?
From: [email protected]
Subject: Misbehaving, are we?
Amelia, Amelia, Amelia. Where do I even begin? Signing up for the pen pal program was the best (drunk) decision I’ve ever made.
You want to know what I’d do if you were misbehaving?
Let’s just say this: If I were anywhere near you, you wouldn’t be able to finish your sentence, let alone an email. I’d have you so thoroughly distracted, you’d forget what the keyboard’s for. Actually, I’d make you forget the whole world.
Don’t tempt me unless you mean it.