Chapter 17
Seventeen
From the texts of Archer Blue
and Baylor Nix
Blue: Hi. Do you have a minute?
Nix: Sure! I have several. Charlotte, Bea, and I are just hanging out at my place, watching serial killer documentaries.
Blue: Oh. Wow.
Nix: Yeah, I know. Not my favorite, either, but for some reason, Beatrice is obsessed. Charlotte’s pretty into them, too. What is it with women and getting into the mind of a monster?
Blue: Maybe they’re being proactive. Knowing the enemy.
Nix: I didn’t think of it that way, but it makes sense, I guess. Fucked up sense, but…
Blue: A lot of men are fucked up.
Nix: You don’t have to tell me, brother.
Blue: I know. That’s actually why I’m reaching out. Ever since Sierra’s post of Beatrice and me singing went viral, I’ve been getting some strange email.
Nix: What kind of strange?
Blue: Bad, strange. Everything from threatening to expose ugly things from my past to a promise to cut my dick off if I get it anywhere near Beatrice again.
Nix: WHAT?! What the actual fuck? Your dick was never anywhere near her. And even if it were, what the fuck? That’s insane.
Blue: Agreed.
Nix: And what kind of “ugly things” from your past? I honestly can’t imagine you having skeletons in the closet, Blue. You’re one of the most decent people I know.
Blue: I’ve done things I’m not proud of, just like anyone, but there’s nothing I’ve deliberately hidden. Nothing I’m worried about facing if it comes to light. I’m more concerned by the mentions of Beatrice.
Nix: No offense, but me, too. I know she has some fans who take the parasocial relationship too far, but she’s never said anything about threatening emails.
Blue: There’s more. The things he knew about my past aren’t easily accessible.
Nix: They wouldn’t pop up on a Google search?
Blue: No. The incident he referenced happened when I was still a minor. The records were sealed by the court when I was sixteen.
Nix: Shit. That’s not good, Blue. He must have gone to the dark web. Found some sketchy information broker or something.
Blue: That’s the only thing I could think of, but that kind of information doesn’t come cheap, and seeking it out isn’t without risk. I have a hard time imagining an obsessed fan going to those lengths to get dirt on a man for singing karaoke with his favorite rock star.
Nix: Well, the actions of disturbed people don’t always make sense, but I’m inclined to agree with you.
And I have a hunch I might know who’s behind those emails.
Beatrice just broke up with her boyfriend under less than friendly circumstances.
And he’s exactly the kind of narcissistic piece of shit who would send messages like that.
Blue: I was afraid it might be something like that. Beatrice mentioned she’d just ended a long relationship while we were on the way to the bar. She didn’t elaborate, but I got the feeling it wasn’t a clean break. Or an easy one.
Nix: Nothing clean or easy about Kai. He’s a dirty motherfucker. Always has been. If he hadn’t gotten his claws into Beatrice when she was practically a child, there’s no way they would have lasted as long as they did. She’s so far out of his league they’re barely the same species.
Blue: I know. I did some digging of my own.
I didn’t mean to invade Bea’s privacy, but I wanted to know more about the man she’d broken up with before I reached out.
When I learned they’re in a band together…
Honestly, I’m not sure it’s safe for her to finish that tour.
I’m assuming you know about her ex’s criminal record?
Nix: What?! No, I didn’t. What did the piece of shit do?
Blue: I’m not sure I should say, but trust me when I say he’s dangerous.
She shouldn’t be alone with him again. Not for a second.
If she needs to return to their home to pick up her things, someone should be with her the entire time.
And I think it’s best if she stays with you for a while until he finds another focus for his fixation.
Nix: Nope. No way. You can’t do that, brother.
You can’t tell me this guy has a criminal record and not tell me what he did.
This is my sister, Blue. I made a promise to protect her the day our mom put that wrinkly little peanut in my arms when I was three.
But I can’t protect her if I don’t know what I’m protecting her from.
Blue: I should have known better than to think you’d take my word.
Nix: You really should have. Not because I don’t trust you. But this is family, Blue. Surely, you can see where I’m coming from.
Blue: I don’t have family the way you have family, but yes. I understand. Kai’s been jailed twice in the past three years for drunk and disorderly conduct, and just a few days ago, he got his first DUI.
Nix: I’m not surprised. He’s always been a drinker and the kind of dick who enjoys trashing a hotel room.
Beatrice almost left him a few years ago, after he trashed a suite in the Bellagio with a few of his friends while she was doing press in New York.
He begged and pleaded and promised he’d start working the steps again, the way he did when they were first dating, but I guess that didn’t stick.
I wish she’d told me he was getting worse, not better.
I wish I’d paid closer attention instead of taking her word for it when she said everything was fine. I feel like I let her down.
Blue: We can only help people when they’re ready to be helped.
Just be glad she’s there with you now, and that she didn’t meet Kai when he was in high school.
He has a sealed record, too, though I’m guessing I had to work harder to find his than he had to work to find mine.
Someone has clearly gone to significant lengths to keep his past a secret.
But I know a few people who are comfortable on the dark web, and one owed me a favor.
Nix: Fuck. You really are an iceberg, aren’t you?
Blue: But everything under the water is made of the same material as what’s on the surface. You can trust me. I’m not a bad man hiding bad things. I’m a man who’s worked hard to put a dark past I was too young to escape behind me.
Nix: Please, Blue, don’t feel like you have to defend yourself or your integrity.
Your actions speak for themselves, brother.
I know you’re a good guy. If there was any doubt in my mind about that, I wouldn’t have let Bea get in a car with you.
None of us can choose what we’re born into.
I totally get that. I’m just sorry you had to live through something like that.
If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here, okay?
I don’t judge. I really don’t. You know I’ve done things I’m not proud of.
I might be on the verge of doing more of them if Kai doesn’t play nice and leave Bea the hell alone.
Blue: I wouldn’t count on it.
Nix: Just tell me. What did he do? I’m in the bedroom by myself now. If I need to punch a pillow to let off steam, the girls won’t have to see it.
Blue: You need meditation in your life. Violence doesn’t blow off steam. It only breeds more violence.
Nix: Right. I’ll work on that. And understanding what it means to hear the sound of one man clapping and all the other Zen stuff. Right after I do whatever it takes to make sure Kai is too scared shitless of Bea’s psycho big brother to so much as think her name.
Blue: I was afraid of this. I shouldn’t have contacted you. I should have found another way to ensure Beatrice is safe.
Nix: No, you shouldn’t have! I’m her brother, Blue. You barely know her. Keeping her safe isn’t your responsibility; it’s mine.
Blue: Technically, once she files a restraining order, it would be law enforcement’s responsibility. But I know better than to put too much faith in the police.
Nix: Or put faith in a man like Kai to honor a restraining order.
Blue: Exactly.
Nix: Please, Blue. I promise I won’t fly off the handle. I’ll take whatever information you give me, think long and hard on it, talk it over with Charlotte—and Beatrice if I think she can handle it—and go from there.
Blue: Beatrice is stronger than you give her credit for, but I wouldn’t tell her about this.
I don’t like keeping secrets, but this isn’t the kind of thing anyone wants to learn about someone they shared a bed with for years.
It’s more likely to do more harm than good.
It’s already going to be hard for her to trust her own judgement again after being with a man like that.
She doesn’t deserve any more of an uphill battle than she’s facing already.
Nix: Very wise advice. See? You’re a wise man. A wise man who wouldn’t have reached out to me if he didn’t know, deep down, that he could trust me to make responsible decisions. I know I have a rep for flying off the handle once and a while, but I’m mostly harmless.
Blue: Hmm.
Nix: Is that a hmm of agreement?
Blue: I may be an iceberg, but you’re a chimera.
Nix: The monster in Greek mythology that had three heads?
Blue: Yes. A lion, a goat, and a snake. You show the lion on the ice, and the goat to everyone else, but the quiet, cunning snake is always watching. Waiting. Seeing everything. Poised to take advantage of the fact that people assume you’re a harmless, friendly goat when the need arises.
Nix: I don’t know whether to be offended or…appreciative. Though I’m honestly not sure what I’m appreciating.
Blue: It’s always good to be seen for who we really are.
Nix: It is. But just like the iceberg is made of the same stuff, all the heads are attached to the same body. They share the same heart. I’m not a bad man, either.
Blue: No, you’re not. But you could exercise more restraint, on and off the ice. It would be good for you.
Nix: I’m working on it. Being with Charlotte has already helped a lot.
Like you said, it’s good to be seen. She sees me, and I know she’ll help me make smart decisions.
But she’s at risk, too. Or could be. She and Makena, and one of their friends, who did ten years in the Air Force, are going to Mobile with Bea on Saturday.
They were planning to be backstage during the concert and stay at the hotel with her on Saturday night, just so she’s never alone with Kai.
But now I’m not sure if any of them will be safe, even if they’re not alone.
Blue: No, I think that sounds like a perfect plan. He’s a coward. He doesn’t have the balls to take on four grown women. I think they’ll be fine. I’m relieved to hear this and feel good about it. I think you should, too.
Nix: Okay, maybe I will, ONCE YOU STOP DANCING AROUND THE SUBJECT AND TELL ME WHAT HE FUCKING DID ALREADY.
Blue: You won’t like it. I think you’d be better off not knowing, too. Just let me carry this for your family. I can handle it, and I’m happy to do it.
Nix: That’s very generous, Blue, but no. I’m not the kind of person who finds ignorance even a little blissful.
Blue: All right. His name isn’t Kai. It’s Henry James Killian. If that doesn’t sound familiar, search the name in conjunction with Nebraska, fifteen years ago. You’ll find everything you never wanted to know in black and white.