Chapter 13
“Let’s get it going these last five, fellas. We need a point today.” There’s a chorus of agreements thrown my way just as one of the Stars’ players takes a tripping penalty down at their end of the ice. Hell yeah. We have to take advantage of this power play and tie the game up.
Coach Ellie steps off the bench and stands down at ice level with the rest of us.
“Okay, guys. Balls to wall the next two minutes on this power play. They’ve been pretty aggressive this game during their penalty kill, that means you need to keep your feet moving and support each other all over the ice.
Niko, I want your unit out there to start us off.
Try running that give-and-go play we’ve been working on out of the corner.
Since they’re so aggressive, maybe we can catch them biting and create a two-on-one opportunity down low.
Jefferson, make sure you keep your head on a swivel and pop out in front of the net if it works. ”
We all respond with, “Yes, Coach,” before lining up for a faceoff in the Stars’ zone.
As center, I take a look around to see where the Stars are all lined up and make sure my guys are in the right positions.
I point over at Jefferson with my stick and tell him to position himself farther behind me.
I’m hoping I can win the draw and he can take control of the puck.
I wait for the Stars’ center to put his stick down first, and as the ref lifts his hand to drop the puck I get my stick in place.
If I time it perfectly, I can backhand the puck behind me right where Jefferson is lined up.
The ref drops the puck, and just like I’ve practiced a thousand times before, I slap the puck backward to my teammate and we take control.
Coach Ellie was right. The Stars are flying out here and pressuring us left and right. If we can keep control of the puck, hopefully they tire themselves out from being so aggressive and make a mistake.
We cycle the puck down low a few times, the give-and-go play Ellie drew up not working quite yet. Thinking we might have better luck on the other side of the ice, I shoot the puck to Connor on the opposite side of the blue line.
My line works like a well-oiled machine. We all rotate to the far side of the ice and attempt the play on that side. It’s been over a minute of the power play now, meaning we have about sixty more seconds to try to tie this game.
I can sense the Stars’ defenseman getting tired. He’s starting to fall behind as we work another cycle in the corner. Jefferson passes it to me, and I take off around the top of the circle.
“Go, go!” I yell to Jefferson and he pops to the front of the net, creating the perfect two-on-one opportunity down low. I look to Jefferson as if I’m going to pass. The exhausted defenseman overcommits to cover him, leaving me wide open for a shot.
The goalie is stuck inside his crease, not able to come out and cut off my angle to the net due to all the commotion in front of him.
This leaves the top corner of the net wide open.
I fake a shot, which causes the goalie to flinch, and fire a wrister right over his shoulder.
The puck sails into the back of the net. Fuck yeah!
I lift my hands over my head as the guys all converge on me to celebrate. They all tap my head and begin shouting.
“Let’s fucking go!”
“Top titty, baby!”
“What a fucking snipe!”
We make our way to the bench, with me leading the way since I scored the goal. As I tap the gloves of my teammates, my gaze drifts up to the family section of the rink. My chest tightens the moment I spot them.
Sophia and Sadie are jumping up and down, hands raised in the air, their faces lit up with the same adrenaline coursing through me.
The roar of the crowd fades for a second, replaced by the sight of the two of them sharing this moment, celebrating with me.
My heart kicks harder in my chest, fueled by more than just the goal.
Seeing Sophia that happy…it hits something deep.
And I know Sadie plays a big part of that too.
We’re all pretty quiet making our way out of the locker room. We ended up losing the game in a shootout. The one point we snagged for going to OT is huge, but losing still sucks.
Making my way into the room dedicated for families to wait in after the game, I nod at some wives and family members. I weave in between them, trying to find Sophia. I’m halfway through the room when I hear her scream my name.
“Daddy!”
Looking over my shoulder to where the sound came from, I spot her running my way just in time to squat down and catch her in my arms.
We squeeze each other tight for a few seconds before she lets go and removes herself from me. “I’m sorry you lost. But me and Sadie had the best time ever!”
Leave it to my kid to not let me milk my disappointment for a second.
Chuckling, I stand up and see Sadie standing a few feet away, giving Sophia and I some space. “Is that so?”
I raise my eyebrows at Sophia before turning to give the same look to Sadie.
She takes a few steps closer, joining us. Finally.
Her hands find Sophia’s shoulders, and I can’t help but notice how Sophia leans into Sadie, feeling more than comfortable with her.
Sadie shoots me a devastating smile before answering. “We did, actually.”
Sophia nods and starts babbling about all the fun things they did together. “We colored like three hundred pictures, played I-spy, Simon Says, sang and danced to all the songs. We even got frozen lemonade because red dye is bad, Daddy.”
I do my best to keep a straight face, but the way my little girl is talking brings me far too much joy.
A laugh finally escapes and I look down to meet her hazel eyes.
“I know red dye is bad, sweetheart. It’s nice to hear that someone else thinks so too.
” I look back up to see Sadie watching me closely.
She’s still smiling, but it’s not the same smile she had on her face a minute ago. Something in my gut is telling me there might be more that Sophia isn’t telling me. Before I can ask, Sadie crouches down next to Sophia.
“Sophia, remember how we talked about telling your dad important things, even if they’re not happy things?”
Suddenly, Sophia’s eyes find the ground and she starts rocking back and forth on her feet, a clear sign she’s feeling nervous.
Instinctively, I move closer and get down on the ground with the two of them. I grab Sophia’s hand. “You know you can tell me anything, Rakas.”
Sophia still doesn’t look up at me, instead she starts looking around at the people crowding the family room. I’m not sure why, but I look over to Sadie for help. Not missing a beat, she grabs Sophia’s other hand.
“It’s okay to be nervous. Would you feel better if we went somewhere quiet like my office so we could be alone?”
Sophia stops scanning the room and turns to look at Sadie. She nods once and together the three of us walk hand-in-hand out of the family area. I’m so grateful Sadie was kind enough to offer her office up to talk. It just shows me again how thoughtful and considerate of a person she is.
It’s a quiet walk, but thankfully doesn’t take us long to reach Sadie’s office. Sadie punches in the code to unlock the door and once she opens it, I’m awestruck at what she’s done with the space in such a short amount of time.
Sadie steps aside, and Sophia and I make our way into the room. What used to be an almost completely empty, dull office, is now a meditation oasis.
The room has been painted a cream color and there are sheer purple curtains hanging from the side walls and ceiling.
On the wall opposite her door, the window is covered with a curtain as well and it’s framed with shelves that hold greenery, candles, and lamps.
There are string lights hanging throughout and it looks amazing.
Yoga mats and meditation cushions are scattered expertly throughout the space with the extras lined perfectly in a storage cubby in the corner of the room.
The room, tranquil in every sense, exudes calm with its soft lighting and open space.
“Wow, Sadie. This looks incredible.”
Sophia, feeling right at home, releases my hand and makes herself comfortable on a yoga mat next to the fake tree near the window.
“Thanks. I forgot you haven’t been back here since our first meeting. I wanted to make it a space where the team could come and meditate whenever they want. I think it turned out pretty great.”
Sadie does a slow spin, taking in her hard work. I do the same, extremely impressed with how perfect the space looks and feels.
“It’s really amazing, Sadie. My mom is an interior designer so I kind of know what I’m talking about. She would love this space. You should be proud.”
I don’t miss the small smile that splits across her face before she starts chewing on the inside of her cheek. Almost as if she’s not used to compliments.
“Thanks, Niko.”
Sadie turns her attention to Sophia who is now holding and squeezing what looks to be a goat-shaped stress ball. Sadie grabs a meditation cushion from the floor next to her and sits across from Sophia. I follow suit and take a seat next to Sophia.
“All right, kiddo. Now that we’re alone, do you think you can tell me what you and Sadie talked about today that was so important?”
I don’t miss how Sophia squeezes the stress ball extra tight. I also don’t miss how she looks to Sadie for reassurance before looking at me. She breathes in and out before speaking. “Daddy. Sometimes I feel really sad.”
The way my heart clenches at her words nearly kills me, but I keep a neutral face, not wanting Sophia to see how much her words affect me. I need to be strong for her.
“That’s okay, honey. Sometimes I feel really sad too.”
Sophia’s eyes grow wide. “You do?”
“Of course I do, baby. Everyone feels sad sometimes.” I squeeze her hand and lift it to my mouth to give it a kiss.
Sophia seems to ponder my comment for a beat before talking again. “But I never see you cry. And I don’t want to make you sad if I’m sad. So sometimes I hide it.”
My poor baby.
I look to Sadie and she’s looking at Sophia. But I’m shocked to see that instead of looking sad—which is exactly how I feel—Sadie looks proud. Sadie must feel my eyes on her because she looks at me and nods toward Sophia.
Looking back at Sophia, I see her waiting for me to respond. I’m not exactly sure what to say, though. I don’t want to make Sophia feel bad for hiding it from me, but I also want to encourage her to talk to me. I want her to feel safe with me the way she felt safe enough with Sadie to tell her.
Sadie must sense my hesitation because she jumps in.
“I’m so proud of you for being honest with your dad, Sophia. That was really brave of you. Do you think you can tell your dad why you feel sad sometimes? I bet he’d like to know.”
I squeeze Sophia’s hand again. Taking a page out of Sadie’s book, I let Sophia know I’m here but give her the choice to tell me or not. “Sadie is right. I’d really like to know why you get sad, so maybe I could help you next time. If that’s okay with you?”
Sophia’s eyes bounce between me and Sadie. Out of the corner of my eye I see Sadie give Sophia a small nod and then Sophia looks back to me.
“Sometimes, I wonder why Mommy doesn’t love me like you and the rest of the Bobcats do.”
If I thought my heart was broken before, it’s absolutely fucking shattered now.
Fucking Claire.
All I want to do is wrap my daughter in a hug and never let go. But not wanting to push her too far after she just confessed so much to me, I ask first. “Can I give you a hug, Sophia?”
She nods once, and it’s all the permission I need. I wrap her up and hold her in my arms, hoping she can feel just how much I love her right now.
Without letting go, I kiss the side of her head. “I love you to the moon and back, baby girl.” We hold each other tight for another minute or two. When Sophia loosens her hold on me, I lean back and brush her blonde hair out of her face.
With Sophia’s comfort on my mind and us being in an unfamiliar place, I suggest a new plan. “What do you say we head home and we can talk about all of this with a bowl of ice cream?”
She wraps her arms around my neck and bounces up and down in my arms. “Yes, Daddy! That’s the perfect plan!”
Once she’s done hugging me, I stand to thank Sadie for watching Sophia today, but Sophia is dropping the goat stress ball and grabbing Sadie’s hand before I can say anything.
“Daddy, can Miss Sadie come too?”
Sadie and I look at each other hesitantly, both unsure if that’s the best idea right now. Sadie lets go of Sophia’s hand and leans down to get on Sophia’s level again. I can tell she’s about to tell Sophia she can’t join us and my instincts cut her off before she can get a word out.
“Please, Sadie. It would mean a lot to both of us if you were there.”
Sadie eyes me cautiously. “Are you sure?”
I nod. “I’m sure.”
Sadie stands straight and grabs Sophia’s hand again. “It looks like we have an ice cream date then.”
The three of us walk hand-in-hand out of the arena, and I’m left feeling far too excited by the word date.