Chapter 2
Later that day, no longer able to ignore intractable nausea and vomiting, I head to the clinic, where I pull Skye Summers, my best friend and lead of Guardian HRS’s medical branch, to the side. My fingers twist along the seam of my jeans. I’m more nervous than I want to admit.
“Do you have a moment?” My voice lacks its usual high-spirited energy.
Skye looks at me, her bright eyes crinkling with concern. “Of course. What’s going on?” She immediately ushers me toward an exam room.
“I think I might be—you know.” I can’t say the word and swallow it down instead.
“Pregnant?” Her impeccable bedside manner takes the edge off my unease.
“Yes.” I’m equally terrified and overjoyed.
“Is your period late?” Skye’s professional persona takes over.
“No.” I shake my head.
“Then why do you think you’re pregnant?” Her brows furrow in confusion.
“I got dizzy after today’s exercise. And nauseous. I’m never dizzy or nauseous. The only time I was was when...” My voice trails off as I reflect on the last time I felt this way. “...when I was pregnant with Kai.”
Her eyes soften, the clinical detachment melting away for a moment. “Let’s start with the basics. Standard pee on the stick method.” Skye rummages around in a cart of medical supplies and hands me a pregnancy test. “The bathroom’s over there.”
Taking the stick from Skye, I can’t suppress a grimace. “I hate these things. They make me feel like a terrified teenager, waiting for my fate to be determined by two tiny lines.”
“Are you worried about being pregnant again?” Her voice is soft yet probing. She’s always been good at reading me.
“We wanted to wait until Kai was older.” There it is, my fear laid bare.
“There’s never a perfect time to have kids. You just have to ride out the messy, beautiful chaos.”
“Beautiful Chaos?” A laugh bubbles up in my throat. “That sounds very Zen. Are you channeling my husband?”
“Does Noodles know about your suspicions?”
“Hell, I don’t even know yet.”
“Best pee on the stick then.” She gestures toward the bathroom, giving me the privacy to take the test. “We’ll follow up with bloodwork, but it’ll give you an immediate answer now.”
I excuse myself, pee on the stick, then gather my courage and hand over the plastic stick. I can’t look at it. I’m too nervous.
She peers at the result, and a faint frown creases her forehead. “It’s not definitive, but you might be pregnant.”
“Might?”
Skye breaks the heavy silence, her voice calm despite the chaos spinning inside me. “We’ll do a blood test to confirm.” She readies the needle and supplies with practiced hands. “I should have results by the end of the day. Want me to call you?” Her clinical efficiency is a comfort, distracting me from the pinch of the needle as she draws my blood.
I shake my head, already dreading the wave of emotion her call will bring. I want to be pregnant, but I also don’t want to be pregnant.
“You can text.” The words come out more like a plea. “I don’t think I’d be able to keep my voice steady in a conversation.”
“No problem.” She gives me a warm, supportive hug. Then, with a playful glint in her eyes, she adds, “You know, another kid would be fun to have running around Insanity.”
She refers to the group home we both live in. Insanity is the throbbing heart of Angel Fire, one of the all-time top hard rock bands on the planet. Ash, Bash, Bent, Spike, and Noodles—my soulmate—all moved in together, their shared creative energy pulsing through the walls. They find inspiration in the chaos, writing, and recording on the grounds of Insanity.
Over the years, their hearts found their matches.
Skye fell for Ash, causing a tsunami of change for the band. Bent found balance in Piper, an exceptionally gifted physical therapist who helped him navigate a career-threatening injury. Then there was the whirlwind romance of Bash and Holly, a rhythm so synchronized it’s better left unsaid.
The zany, vibrant me found peace in Noodles, Angel Fire’s tranquil keyboardist. We’re a strange harmony, but somehow, we make beautiful music. Spike, the final piece of the band’s puzzle, fell in love with Angel. That romance shook Angel Fire’s foundations to their very core.
In addition to the band, there’s the undeniable presence of Forest Summers. Alongside Skye, he breathed life into Guardian Hostage Rescue Specialists. A self-made billionaire with a heart as vast as his wealth, he’s passionate about uplifting those less fortunate.
His love story is a chord of three notes—Sara, his former executive assistant, and Paul, Piper’s brother.
Forest and Paul share a delicate dance of power and trust. While Forest and Sara are more traditional in their love. The three of them fashioned their unusual relationship into something that works. Sara’s journey to motherhood was turbulent, but she brought forth twins, Delia and Sebastian, rays of sunshine in our crazy family.
Now, Insanity is more than a home; it’s our haven. Each couple has their private corner, and we’re one growing family as kids are added into the mix.
Zach, the eldest, a mini Ash in the making, is five. Sonnet, the newest addition to Ash and Skye’s nest, is part of the toddler brigade. Skye, Piper, Holy, Sara, and I shared our journeys to motherhood—all pregnant around the same time—which means our kids are all around the same age. They’re all growing up together.
Kai, my ray of sunshine, shares his age with Finn, Bash and Holly’s bundle of joy, and Arwen, Piper and Bent’s little angel. I count off in my head—Angel’s newborn makes eight and if I’m pregnant, this will be child number nine for the crazy crew of Insanity. It’s cool that we’re raising our kids together--like instant siblings. But we each have our tiny nucleus of a family.
Best of both worlds, in my opinion.
As I step away from Skye’s office, my heart feels full and heavy at the same time. Is it possible to be both excited and terrified?
I’ve got a potential life growing inside me, my second child and the questions keep coming.
Can I balance my work life with a second child?
Noodles is the best dad. He’s basically taken over as the primary parent. When called away for a mission, I never worry about who’s taking care of the Kai. If Noodles has something with the band, we’ve got built-in babysitters with the Angel Fire Chick Brigade.
That’s what we wives affectionately call ourselves. We tossed around sister-wives for a bit, but the optics of that were problematic for the band and their public image.
Two hours later, I get a text on my phone from Skye full of congratulations and confirmation that I am indeed pregnant.