Chapter 9
I sat in my computer chair and gazed out of the bay window at the open space in the backyard. The grass hadn’t had maintenance for months, because Leo stopped paying the landscaper. He said he’d take over, but he never did, and now the grass was withering just like our marriage had done.
I hated that Basil and his nieces and nephews had to see me that way.
It was embarrassing and truly baffling how this man broke my heart, broke up with me through a fucking text, refused to pay me alimony, hadn’t seen his kids since he left for work the morning of our anniversary, and had the gall to bring his ass to my house and act a fool.
His reason for coming over was to see the kids, but I didn’t want him to give them false hope and empty promises. Leo just wanted to be nosy. I could tell he just wanted to see what I was doing, not concerned with the kids at all.
His actions were truly blowing me, and the fact that he kept saying “my” was confusing as well.
Tears flowed from my eyes because I honestly had no clue what was running through Leo’s mind.
He must have forgotten that he was the one who left me.
He was the one who broke my fucking heart and left me with three kids, kids that he swore he didn’t ask for but did and said nothing to prevent them from being here.
I hated that bastard.
I couldn’t wait until this hearing so that I could take back my life and my last name.
The more I sat stewing on this bullshit, the angrier I became at myself for allowing so much shit to slide, giving him years of my life when I could have been with someone who truly loved me and wanted a life with me.
I didn’t realize how selfish he was, and it pained me to be so foolish to allow his ass to play me like this for all these years.
Before I could stop it, the tears came down my cheeks like raindrops as my chest quaked from the inner turmoil I endured.
I carried so much on my shoulders, and not once did that motherfucka acknowledge all the shit I’d done to keep our family together.
Everything was so perfect before the children; then all of a sudden, things went downhill before I could even blink.
It was niggas like him who made women like me go completely insane, be vindictive and fucking crazy.
The soft knock at the door made me perk up, swipe a couple of Kleenex from the tissue holder, and dry my tears quickly.
I couldn’t let my kids see me like this, and I certainly didn’t want Basil to see me so brokenhearted.
The way he stood up to Leo didn’t really shock me.
Although Basil was really sweet, he had a certain look in his eyes and a certain energy that told me he wouldn’t have hesitated to put Leo on his back without much effort.
I cleared my face as best as I could before telling whoever was at the door to come in. Moments later, Basil appeared, standing in the entryway, looking like two of the seven deadly sins—lust and gluttony.
Jesus be a blind spot.
His locs were pulled up on top of his head, and those light-brown orbs stapled to me with worry etched in them.
I could tell he was trying to read me, so I busied myself with the papers on my desk.
When I should have been going over yet another case, I was sulking over a nigga who didn’t deserve my fucking tears.
Before I knew it, Basil was at my side, pulling me up from my chair.
“Basil, what are you—”
He wrapped those strong arms around me and held me tightly.
I didn’t want to like it. It was inappropriate and could be misleading, but I couldn’t deny the strength of his arms slowly relieving the tension in my body.
We didn’t speak for a long minute, with me allowing myself to feel comforted in this moment.
I needed it.
While I felt like my world was crashing down around me, Basil’s embrace made me feel as if everything was going to be okay. I tried so hard to keep my tears at bay, but when he said, “Let it out,” I gripped the wings of his back and bawled.
He rubbed my back in a soothing manner and allowed me to soak his shirt. After two minutes of standing there and crying on this beautiful stranger’s shoulder, I finally settled and pulled away from him. He brushed my hair from my face and handed me another tissue.
“Better?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”
“No problem.”
“I feel foolish, standing here, crying on your shoulder. You’re not supposed to see me this way.” I sniffled.
“Seeing you this way is beautiful. It allows me to pinpoint exactly where your heart is broken so I can fix it.”
“Basil . . .” My voice trailed because I knew we were crossing the line, and I liked it. “I’m your boss.”
He took a step back and nodded. “Right.”
“But thanks for the hug. It was needed.”
He smiled lightly. “I know.”
“Was there something that you needed? Are the kids okay?”
“They’re fine. I just came to see what you needed, but I figured it out when I saw your face.
” He walked around my desk and headed toward the door.
I watched his broad back and still felt the impression of his body against mine.
Those arms were a comforting mechanism that I was sure kids and even grown-ups had to love.
I was so busy daydreaming that I hadn’t noticed I was still watching him until he turned and looked at me.
“Alicia.”
“Yeah?”
“I know you’re my boss, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here for you. I’m a good listener and known to give good advice. I don’t mind being a friend if you need one.”
I nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.”
He walked out the door and closed it as I reclaimed my seat.
Something told me that my mom was right. If Basil and I continued to converse and be in the same proximity of each other, his being my nanny would be the least of my worries.
The afternoon made way to the evening as I’d finally decided to leave my office after talking with my new partner, Russia Anderson.
I was so tempted to call Nora, just to see if she’d answer, but I decided against it.
I met Nora six years ago, when I first landed the job at Thomas & Little.
We immediately became fast friends who bonded over true crime shows and shared a love for fashion.
I told her everything, and she was supposed to be Carlee’s godmother.
For her to drop off the face of the Earth and not answer my calls made me want to pull up to her house to see what was really going on.
But I wasn’t going to.
Something in the milk wasn’t clean, and like Basil said, maybe God was removing things out of my life that meant me no good.
I walked down the hall to the family room and saw that the kids were playing Twister. Basil sat on the couch with Carlee in his lap, allowing her to spin the spinner on the board.
“Tell them the color, Lee Bear.”
“Bew!” Carlee yelled out, and my lips parted in amazement. I couldn’t believe my baby knew the color.
“Very good. Left foot blue, tribe.”
I watched as Brenton and Carsyn tried to both go for the same blue circle, but they ended up falling over each other. The laughs that came from them made me smile widely and enter the room.
“Mommy, you and Mr. B should play!” Carsyn yelled out. All the kids agreed in excitement as I shook my head.
“I don’t think—”
“Pleeease, Ms. Alicia? It’d be fun!” Sahira exclaimed, smiling at me. Then they all surrounded me, yanking and encouraging me to play. I looked over at Basil, who only shrugged with a smile on his handsome face.
“Okay, okay. One game.”
“Yayyy! Come on, Mr. B!” Carsyn exclaimed. Basil stood, placed Carlee on her feet, then walked over to the mat. Basil handed the board to Brendan and looked me in the eyes. The way they slightly hooded let me know this was about to be something crazy.
“Call it out, Nephew,” he told Brendan.
And the game began.
I tried to avoid putting my hand or foot on any color near him, but it was hard to do. I mean, when playing Twister, there was no other option but to cross paths. We were side by side, arms and legs crossing over one another as I laughed from nervousness.
His skin touching mine had my pearl thumping, and I felt disgusted for feeling aroused while the kids were around.
But Basil was one of those men who exuded an energy one couldn’t ignore.
Everything about him made me want to feel those healing arms wrapped around me and those lips on any part of my skin.
Focus, Alicia.
I needed to stop this.
I wasn’t ready to give myself to another man who was only going to break my heart again.
I knew Basil had to have a harem of women falling at his feet.
What he told my mother made my stomach drop a little.
I liked the fact that I thought he was single and loved children for my own personal reasons, even though I’d never act on those reasons.
I pretended as if I couldn’t hold on any longer and fell.
“Aww, Mommy, you lost!” Chloe yelled as Basil’s nieces and nephews cheered him on. He stood upright while reaching his hand out for me to take. I placed my palm in his, and he pulled me up until we stood close enough for our bodies to touch. I looked up at him as he smiled down at me.
“I won,” he said.
I didn’t speak, just stared at that chiseled face and those beautiful eyes. I finally came to my senses, backed away from him, and looked to the children. Brenton, Brendan, and Sahira smiled at us while the others called out who would go next.
“It’s getting late, guys. We have to finish packing since we have to leave early tomorrow,” I told them.
“Yeah, and I have to get y’all home. I have to go pack as well.”
“You’re going with them, Uncle Baye?” Siori asked.
“It’s part of my job, princess.”
“How long will you be gone? You promised to take us to Virtual World before we go back to school.” Siori pouted.
He dropped down to his haunches in front of her, taking her by the hands. “And I’m still going to do that. Don’t I always keep my promises?”
She nodded. “You do.”
“A’ight then. Give it to me.” He lifted his hand, and she lifted hers. I watched as they slapped the backs of their hands twice, grabbed each other’s hands, locking them in place, then placing a kiss to the back of them. It was the cutest thing ever.
“You’re so spoiled, SiSi,” Sahira said, rolling her eyes.
“Sure is!” Brenton agreed.
“Leave me alone!” Siori yelled.
“Hey, hey. What did I tell y’all about that?
None of y’all have room to talk about nobody being spoiled.
Apologize to her,” Basil told them. They both apologized, and Basil made them hug it out.
It didn’t take long for them to start being playful with each other again while they put on their jackets and shoes.
I saw how they were with their uncle, and it was beautiful to see.
It was what I always wanted for my kids—to have a big family and for them to love them the way I did.
My parents, brother, and cousin loved my kids down, but I couldn’t say the same for Leo and his mom. I knew they loved them, but they rarely, if ever, spent time with them. I couldn’t stand it, but there was nothing I could do to change it.
Having Basil and his soldiers, as he called them, hang out with us today was probably the best time my children ever had. Hell, it was the best time I’d ever had.
Being a prosecutor with heavy caseloads didn’t allow me to go on playdates with the kids’ classmates, and they always asked.
Ms. Shelly would take them sometimes, but it wasn’t the same as having your mom or dad there.
It was why I made sure to send emails to my boss and clients to tell them I was going on vacation for a week.
I needed this time to reconnect with my babies and check up on my dad.
I was excited, and I knew the kids were too.
“Don’t worry, guys. I promise to have your uncle back before you all go back to school.”
“Can we come back over when you guys come back?” Brendan asked.
I smiled at him. “If it’s okay with your uncle, absolutely. I enjoyed you all.”
“Thanks, Ms. Alicia. We enjoyed y’all too,” Brenton said, smiling at me.
I looked at Basil, who was already staring at me, before he grabbed his hoodie and put it on.
“I’ll see y’all in the morning,” he said, handing me the iPad to sign the timesheet. He walked over to my babies, doing some secret handshake with them as well, then picked Carlee up and tickled her sides.
“See you in the morning, Lee Bear.”
“No bye,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck, holding on to him.
My stomach sank a little, not from nervousness or being afraid, but out of guilt—guilty that my baby had never clung to her father this way, and for her to cling on to a total stranger like that brought out a different kind of hurt inside of me.
I didn’t mind her warming up to Basil, but not wanting him to leave had me wondering if this was wrong.
I didn’t want them to get too attached, but it seemed as if I had lost that battle over the past week.
They loved Basil. I could see it in their eyes, feel it in their energy and body language.
Maybe he shouldn’t go on this trip with us.
“I’m coming right back, Lee Bear.”
“Promi?” she asked, trying to say promise.
He chuckled. “I promise.” He kissed her temple, then handed her to me. We walked them to the door and waved goodbye. Today had been a ride, but as always, Basil made things feel easy like a Sunday morning.