Chapter 11 Alicia
I sat poolside, sipping my lemonade, as I watched Basil play in the pool with the kids.
The sun was shining brightly, the kids were happy, and the weather was perfect.
Seeing the smiles on my babies’ faces warmed my heart and made the tension in my chest loosen up a bit.
I always worried about them. I always worried whether they were getting enough love and attention from me; I didn’t want to lack in any part of their lives.
I didn’t know what the hell was happening between Basil and me, but I could feel something shifting in our dynamic.
I wasn’t trying to entice or seduce him, but I could admit that I did want to see if I still had it, that I could still turn heads when I dressed up and was outside of my work clothes.
I saw the look in his eyes this morning and again when he came out of his room.
I should have put on my cover-up, but I didn’t want to.
There were so many things I had missed in my marriage, like being admired, desired, loved properly, and wanted.
I tried to keep myself up after birthing my children because I wanted to keep the same body I had before I started having them.
I wasn’t the size twelve I used to be, but they gave me more curves than I had before and stretch marks I didn’t ask for, but overall, my body was still fit since I worked out.
Leo never had an issue with the way I looked.
It was the kids he suddenly detached from, and while detaching from them, he was detaching from me too.
I didn’t realize he blamed me for having his children, since he kept getting me pregnant, pretending to be happy, when all along, he regretted us all.
Who the fuck didn’t want to have children with their wife?
So, while I tried to keep us together, he was slowly tearing us apart.
I knew there was someone else. I just didn’t have the mental capacity to be a lawyer and a damn detective.
It would all come to the light though. I just wanted to mentally prepare myself to accept that he left us for another woman.
Did I find Basil attractive? Abso-fucking-lutely.
When he took off that tank and let me see those refined muscles, six-pack, V-cut, and tattoos all over his chest, my bikini bottoms flooded, and I had to tell my girl to chill down there.
Not to mention that freaking bulge in his trunks.
I wasn’t trying to look at him that way, but I couldn’t ignore how sexy he was, and seeing him with my children was even more damn enticing.
The way they were so comfortable with him made my heart warm.
My phone ringing on the table next to me brought me out of the trance I was in, staring at the human sex god. I picked it up, saw my father’s name on the screen, and smiled widely.
“Hey, Daddy.”
“Hey, baby girl. Did you make it?”
“I did. Sorry I didn’t call you when I landed. The kids saw the pool, and yeah, you know what happened after that.” We both laughed.
“I miss them and can’t wait to see them. Is Leo with you? I wanted to take him fishing this time since he claims his ass ain’t never been.”
I cleared my throat and swallowed the lump that formed. I knew if I told him he wasn’t with us, he’d inquire why, and I’d have to make up a lie. But if I told him the truth about why he wasn’t with us, I knew he’d be upset. I was damned if I did, damned if I didn’t at this point.
“He-he’s not with us, Daddy. We’re getting a divorce.”
“A what?”
“A divor—”
“Nah, I ain’t believing that shit. Stop playing on my phone, baby girl.
” I knew he wouldn’t like this, but I couldn’t lie to my daddy.
It took him a long time to really accept Leo in the beginning.
He said he could sense a fuck nigga from a mile away, and I, being dizzy in love, begged my father to give him a chance.
It took him the better part of our relationship for him to okay him being with me, and he even gave him his blessing to marry me.
He warned him though. He told him that he’d better make us last forever and never hurt me, and that bastard did the complete opposite.
I could feel Basil’s eyes on me, and I gave him a soft smile as I got up and went inside the house for privacy.
“Who decided that bullshit?” Daddy asked.
“He did. But it’s okay.” It wasn’t.
“It’s not okay, Alicia. That motherfucka gonna leave you with three kids to raise by yourself? He can damage them mentally like that. Did that motherfucka even consider that? They’re still babies, Alicia.”
“I know, Daddy, but there is nothing I can do. He wants a divorce, and I’m going to give it to him.”
“Weak-ass, busta-ass, punk-ass nigga. How the kids feeling about all of this?”
“They’re okay. Honestly, I don’t even think they miss him. Leo hadn’t been really active in their lives since Carlee was born. I know we agreed that we wouldn’t start our family until we were thirty-five, but I didn’t think it was an issue if we started earlier than expected.”
“What he thought was gon’ happen if he shooting your fucking club up every year?”
I laughed. “Daddy!”
I swore, he and my mom were one in the same—reckless mouths and always ready to run down on somebody.
I knew my family was unhinged, but that was what made me love them more.
The fact that they raised me to give grace and be nice to people yet they were missing a few crayons, let me know they would do anything for me.
“I’m serious. That’s bullshit, baby girl. I really want to do something to his ass.”
“Daddy, no. Just let it go. Maybe this is for the best anyway. I was blind to the signs that maybe he didn’t want children, and I forced this narrative of us having a happily ever after. I just . . . I just wish I hadn’t been so blind.”
“Don’t you go blaming yourself, Alicia. That nigga knew what he was doing.
If his ass didn’t want kids until whatever the fuck time he put on the shit, then he should have been more careful.
I hate this for you, and I definitely hate to see you down and out.
Honestly, I don’t even think it was just about the kids.
You intimidated his ass, and he went running like a little bitch.
“You made more money than him, you’re beautiful, and you can get any man you want. You’re a far cry from the girl he met in college. You grew into a woman, and you been doing your shit since then, and that weak-ass nigga couldn’t handle it.”
“Yeah, you may be right. Mommy blew his car up.” I giggled.
“That’s my girl! Love her crazy ass.”
“Daddy, please.”
“Aye, just because we ain’t together doesn’t mean I stopped loving her. She’ll always be the lady in my life who came through, wrecked shit, and got the fuck on.” We laughed.
“That’s crazy.”
“It is. But, fuck Leo, baby girl. You’re going to get somebody better, who’s going to appreciate you for who and what you are, and love those kids like they’re their own.”
“Thank you, Daddy. I receive that.”
“Good.”
“Sorry to interrupt, but the kids want pizza. Is that okay with you, or would you like for me to cook them something?” Basil asked, coming in with Carlee in his arms. The kids were now in the lounge chairs, looking at their iPads.
“Who is that?” my dad asked.
“It’s my manny.”
“What the hell is a manny?”
I laughed. “A male nanny, Daddy. Basil, yes, that’s fine. We’re on vacation, so they can have a few cheat days.”
“A’ight, cool. You want pizza, Lee Bear?”
“Pessa, pessa, pessa!” Carlee chanted as Basil joined her while heading back outside.
“It’s giving stepdaddy, not manny.”
“Daddy!” I palmed my forehead and shook my head. “You are worse than Mommy.”
“We be knowing, baby girl. Bring that nigga with you when you come to the house. I need to check his vibe since you got him around my grandkids.”
“We’re going to Universal Studios tomorrow. Why don’t you meet us up there?”
“Sounds like a plan. What time?”
“Sometime in the afternoon. I’m going to call you tomorrow to let you know.”
“Okay. And Alicia?”
“Yes.”
“Keep your legs closed. Don’t listen to that to get over one man, get under another bullshit, a’ight?”
“Oh my God! Bye, Daddy.”
He chuckled as I hung up and looked out of the patio doors to see Basil playing red light, green light with the kids. I smiled and went to use the restroom. I knew, eventually, that was going to be the case, but I prayed I would have enough restraint not to get under Basil.
After we were done with the pool, we all took our showers and got dressed.
We let the kids play in the arcade room while Basil rewashed the sheets and blankets and did his own rendition of cleaning.
I completely understood because I was going to do it, but he demanded I found myself something to do that didn’t require manual labor.
So, I went out on the patio and decided to read for a little while.
I had always been a lover of reading, but since starting law school, I hadn’t had the time to read anything but law books.
I called myself resting my eyes for a bit and ended up going to sleep in the chair.
“Hey, the pizza is here. Ready to eat?”
I nodded. “Yes. Starving.” When I looked at the time, it was almost eight o’clock. I didn’t realize I had slept that long, but I truly needed it and felt revived.
We were now sitting at the dining room table while Basil played a game in which whoever answered the question first would win five dollars for every question they got right.
“What’s the closest planet to the sun?” Basil asked Carsyn and Chloe.
“Earth!” Chloe called out first.
“No, it’s Mercury!” Carsyn exclaimed.
“Ding, ding, ding! Good job, my G,” Basil said, high-fiving him.
“Aww, man!” Chloe pouted. Carsyn had been winning since we all sat down to eat the pizza and breadsticks Basil had ordered, and he decided to challenge their knowledge.
“It’s okay, Loe-Loe. You still got a chance to win,” Basil said, pinching her cheek. Now, what two colors makes the color purple?”
“White and pink, no wait—” Carsyn tried.
“Red and blue!” Chloe blurted out.
“Ding, ding, ding! See, I told you you’d win.”
She smiled in triumph.
“A’ight, last question before we go put on our pj’s. This is the finale. Whoever gets this one right wins. Y’all ready? This may be a hard one, but it went down in history.”
I watched them both tune in as Basil pulled a fifty-dollar bill from his pocket. Fifty dollars to a four- and six-year-old was crazy, but I didn’t protest. “Who was the forty-fourth president?”
“George Bush!” Carsyn blurted. I dropped my shoulders in defeat for him.
“Incorrect. You want to try, Loe?”
“Umm, Rock Oblama?”
Basil and I laughed as he looked at her and smiled.
“It’s Barack Obama, and you are correct.
Everybody, give it up for the champion of the yeaarrr!
” Basil stood and swooped her up, swinging her around as she laughed her little life away.
He planted a kiss on her forehead, then placed her on her feet. “Alright, time to get our pajamas on.”
“Baye-Baye, sweepy,” Carlee said, rubbing her eyes.
I knew she had to be tired since she hadn’t taken her nap today.
Carlee was getting attached to him quickly, and I knew it was because her father never really gave her as much affection or played with her like Basil did.
In just a little over a week, she had become deeply connected to him.
I didn’t know if I should’ve been happy or sad about it, but would she have been like this had Yara been her nanny?
She loved Ms. Shelly, but she only went with the flow with her.
She had never asked Ms. Shelly to help her with anything, nor did she ask to be picked up.
Basil handed Chloe her money, then picked Carlee up from her chair.
“You sleepy, Lee Bear?”
She laid her head on his shoulder as he rubbed her back.
“A’ight, gang, let’s go get y’all pajamas on.”
“Can we play in the arcade for a little while, Mommy?”
“Yeah. We’re on vacation, so you guys can play until you get tired.”
“Yes!” Both Carsyn and Chloe cheered.
I smiled. “I’ll take her up,” I told Basil, but Carlee held him around his neck tighter.
“No, Baye-Baye, sweep.”
“Really, Carlee? You don’t want Mommy to lay with you?”
“Mommy, lay. Baye-Baye, sweepy.”
Basil chuckled. “How about we both take her up?”
“Okay,” I replied, following them all up the stairs. Chloe and Carsyn went to put on their pajamas as Basil and I walked into my suite. He placed Carlee on the bed and pulled the covers over her. I got in beside her and rubbed her soft ponytails.
“I’ll be downstairs, cleaning up. Call me if you need me.”
“No, Baye-Baye! Sweep!” Carlee yelled out.
He looked at me, and I shrugged. “You have officially spoiled her. Get in the bed, sir.” He laughed and climbed on the blanket, sitting up against the headboard.
“She’s special,” I said, gazing at my baby girl.
“She is,” he agreed. “You’re a good mother.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. You make sure they have everything they need, even if your job is demanding. They never miss a beat with you.”
I smiled lightly. “You know they only asked about their father once? Out of almost two months, they only asked when he was coming home. When I told them he wasn’t, they hadn’t said a peep since.”
“Kids know, Ms. Alicia. They all are smart. For them to not ask about him all the time lets me know that he wasn’t much of father to them when he was around.” He looked down at me. “I know you didn’t bank on being a single mother, but you got this, and you got me. I’m here to make your load light.”
“My kids love you. I feel like if I get rid of you now, they’ll hate me.” I laughed.
“They could never hate you, . . . and I’m going to make it so you’ll never want to get rid of me.
” Our eyes locked, and I had to look away from him.
Those eyes were doing things to me. I looked down at my baby, and she was fast asleep.
“I’ll be downstairs with the kids if you need me.
” He stood from the bed without looking back and closed the door behind him.
I picked up my phone and sent a quick text to Raeley. I prayed that she would find the time to call me back because I needed someone to talk to other than my mother. I needed someone to talk me out of falling for my damn manny.