Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Cassie
Monday morning arrives before I know it, and nerves jangle around in my body as I get ready to meet Mei and her friends at Beans & Bakes.
I take my sertraline, brush my teeth, and put on some light makeup.
Once again, I dress in jeans and an oversized t-shirt—charcoal grey this time.
As I knot the hem of my top just above my waistband, I have to admit it would be nice to have something different to wear. The problem is I have no idea what.
A cute blouse? A dress? The last time I had the freedom to dress myself, I was a teenager.
Even then Miranda had plenty of opinions on my outfit choices, and nothing I did made her happy.
Whatever. My identity crisis will have to wait—I can’t be late to hanging out with Mei’s friends for the first time, not if I want them to accept me into their group.
Soft morning sunlight streams in through the large windows of the coffee shop, bathing everything in a gentle glow.
Not for the first time, I admire the cute décor, marvelling at how it’s somehow whimsical and classy all at once.
Instead of looking like someone let a six-year-old deep in their princess phase decorate the place, which is the impression I’ve had from some of my tour sets, the pastels and quirky items in Beans & Bakes make the space feel welcoming and cosy.
“Cassie, over here.” Hearing my real name so often is still taking some getting used to, but I like it.
Mei waves at me from her seat at a table with Gem and two other women I vaguely remember seeing on Saturday night.
Instinctively, I tense, noticing they’re sat right by the window at two round tables pushed together, but I force my muscles to relax.
Here I’m normal girl, Cassie St. James. Unlike Melody Night, Cassie doesn’t have people trying to take photos of her every time she leaves the house.
There’s no reason I can’t sit in the window.
Taking a seat in a surprisingly comfortable wooden chair, I give the group a nervous smile. “Hi.”
“This is Cassie. You two have met already?” Mei confirms, gesturing between me and Gem, who’s out of her work uniform and wearing a striking crimson maxi dress and layered necklaces.
She looks effortlessly glamorous with perfect makeup and her dark hair in a high ponytail, a few strands near the front artfully styled to frame her face.
“Yes. Thanks again for taking my car over to The Dragonfly.”
“No problem.”
“This is Erin.” A woman with long mahogany hair, except for the bright blue sections framing her face, and floral tattoos on her left forearm waves. “She runs this place with Daphne. Speaking of…”
Daphne appears beside the table with a tray of drinks.
“Sorry, Mrs Evans and I got chatting. Here you go.” The auburn-haired woman hands out drinks, Erin leaning forward to help her.
She’s pulled the front of her hair up into victory rolls that look amazing with her blouse and high-waisted trousers.
Her outfit isn’t vintage—it’s a more modern twist on forties fashion.
I know better than most that appearances can be deceiving but if sense of style is anything to go by, Mei’s friends are all seriously cool.
“Cassie, you like lattes, right?”
“Good memory,” I reply in surprise when Daphne hands me a mug. “What do I owe you?” I ask, reaching for my purse.
She waves me off. “It’s on the house. Nobody pays when it’s girl time.”
“Thanks.”
“Muffins or pastries?” She asks Erin.
“You know I can never resist your apple turnovers.”
“Turnovers good with everyone?” Daphne asks, and the others nod.
“Cassie?”
“Sounds great,” I agree quickly, surprised once again that these women already care enough about my comfort to check my preferences. It’s nice. Really nice.
While Daphne goes behind the bakery counter, presumably to gather enough treats for everyone, the final member of our little group—a curvy woman with a bubblegum-pink bob and a silver septum piercing—leans forward slightly. “Sorry, we got distracted from the introductions. I’m Phoebe.”
“Nice to meet you—all of you. Thanks for including me.”
“Mei and Gem have had nothing but nice things to say about you,” Erin begins. “Plus, we’re nosy and wanted to get to know the one responsible for thawing Austin’s frosty personality.”
I choke on my latte, and Mei pats my back until I hold up a hand, letting her know she can stop. I clear my throat. “Sorry, I’ve not heard anyone talk about him that way, is all. I thought the grumpy attitude was just for me—understandably.”
Daphne rejoins us, setting a large plate of turnovers and a stack of napkins in the middle of the group before taking the last available seat. “He’s not that bad.” She gives Erin a flat look. “Austin’s a good guy, just not the most social.”
Gem reaches for a napkin and pastry. “You make it sound like the man has no friends when what you really mean is he doesn’t date.”
“Oh?” I try not to sound too intrigued by that, but there’s no denying my interest is piqued.
After a few years of avoiding anything close to a romantic relationship, Austin’s rejection on Saturday night stung.
Not that I was trying to have a relationship with him—I’m supposed to leave at the end of the summer.
Still, it took more courage than I’d like to admit for me to suggest we have some no-strings fun.
It wasn’t what Liam meant when he encouraged me to explore things with Austin, but I certainly hadn’t set out intent on throwing myself at him.
My plan had been to make more of an effort to talk to him, maybe work up to us meeting outside of work for a drink or something, but the high of performing left me feeling brave.
Even then, putting myself out there emotionally was too big a risk.
Exploring something physical seemed like the safer option.
From the way he looked at me in that moment, I could have sworn he found me attractive.
It never crossed my mind that he might say no, but he did, and now I’m embarrassed and dreading our next shift together.
“OK, he dates, or he has dated, but I’ve not heard about him seeing anyone for a while. Have any of you?” Gem asks.
Daphne, Erin, and Phoebe shake their heads, not seeming too bothered either way. Unfortunately Mei’s a little too slow joining in, and Gem easily clocks her hesitation.
Mei leans back. “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t know anything.”
Phoebe hurriedly swallows her mouthful of apple turnover. “You so do. You’re turning bright red—you do that whenever you have a secret.”
The others hum in agreement, scrutinising Mei’s expression, meaning none of them miss the mildly panicked glance she shoots my way. I’m beginning to see the downside of having a group of friends who all know you so well.
“You can tell them,” I say. Her shoulders slump in relief. Looking around the table, I add, “Maybe keep it within this group though? I don’t want it becoming a whole thing.”
Everyone nods. There’s a beat of silence then—
“CassieandAustinkissed,” Mei blurts out so quickly the words jumble together.
It’s both amusing and a little concerning. She’s been a good friend to me so far, and she checked I didn’t mind before giving her friends the gossip, but still. It’s clear she’s not comfortable keeping secrets. Mei can never find out the truth about me.
“We didn’t kiss,” I correct, noting the range of shocked expressions on the group’s faces. “We um, almost did, but then…” I wave a hand at Mei.
“I barged in.” She deflates. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
“It’s for the best. We can’t stand each other.” Well, that’s not exactly true anymore, but that’s not the point. The last thing I need is this group thinking something might happen between us when it’s clear Austin isn’t interested in me in that way.
“Can’t you though?”
“Mei, I destroyed his bar.”
“You partially destroyed his beer garden,” Gem corrects.
“That was you?” Daphne asks in surprise.
“Yep.”
“Huh.” She and Erin share a look the way best friends do when they want to have an entire conversation with just their eyes.
“What?” I take a sip of coffee, trying to seem less defensive.
“The way he looked at you on Saturday night didn’t seem like hate. If I had to name it, I’d say it was longing,” Erin answers, looking alarmingly excited by the prospect.
“You’re kidding, right? He was relieved I offered to perform when he found out the band he booked weren’t going to make it—that’s all you saw.”
“If you say so.” She takes a sip of her drink.
“I do. He’s maybe a tiny bit attracted to me, but reluctantly.
He turned me down so… definitely no longing.
” My cheeks burn with my admission. Normally I wouldn’t be so forthcoming, but this group feels trustworthy.
While they obviously enjoy a bit of gossip—who doesn’t from time to time—it’s easy to see they’re good people.
“We have a tentative, budding friendship at best.”
Gem gets a thoughtful look in her eyes. “From what I know, Austin’s always been a bit of a rule follower. I wouldn’t put it past him to, as you put it, turn you down because he’s your boss and worries it’s inappropriate.”
“He may have brought that up.”
Mei wiggles in her seat next to me. “Oh that’s good, we can work with that.”
I arch my brows. “We?”
“Yes, we.” She makes a circle with her hand, indicating she’s including the entire group.
“From what I’ve seen, he likes you even if he’s been kind of…
annoyed about it until now. Saturday was different.
When I walked in on you two, he looked like it hurt to let go of you—that’s not dislike or indifference.
It’s definitely not how you act when you only see someone as a friend. ”
“Maybe he was just horny.” Phoebe’s blunt assessment startles a laugh out of me. Mei, Gem, and Erin give her pointed looks, and Daphne’s lips twitch as if she’s trying not to giggle. “What?”
“Ignore her,” Gem instructs. “It sounds like he’s holding back because he thinks that’s what he should do, not because he wants to.” She shrugs one shoulder. “You can work with that.”
“Who says I want to?” I mumble, feeling self-conscious.
“Your face,” Mei answers before taking a shockingly large bite of her turnover.
“Alright, let her breathe. We’re trying to get to know Cassie, not interrogate her.”
I give Daphne an appreciative smile, and she winks at me.
“Erin, how are things with you and Naomi?” Phoebe asks.
“She and Becca decided to get back together.” At the sympathetic looks from her friends, Erin rolls her eyes. “It’s fine. We weren’t serious, you know that.”
“Still sucks though,” Gem says, fiddling with one of her necklaces.
Erin’s expression softens. “A little, but I really am fine.”
Content with her reassurances, the conversation moves onto other things.
I learn that Phoebe owns Wordplay, the bookshop I’ve been meaning to check out, and I promise to stop by soon.
Considering how nervous I was to spend time with Mei’s friends, I’m amazed by how relaxed I feel by the time we wrap things up a little after ten.
According to Daphne and Erin, the shop will get busier from around ten-thirty.
With all of us helping, it only takes a couple of minutes to clear the tables and put them back in their usual positions.
“You’ll join us next week, right?” Mei asks after we wave goodbye to everyone and step out into the sunshine together.
“Sure, if you don’t think the others will mind.”
I can’t see Mei’s brown eyes thanks to her dark sunglasses, but I can feel her flat stare. “Cassie. For someone so confident on stage, you sure are shy the rest of the time. OK, maybe not shy, but… reserved.”
Ignoring the latter part of her assessment, I shrug. “Performing is different.”
Even without all the distractions like glitter and confetti that accompany every Melody Night show, I become a different version of myself on stage.
I was nervous to share my original song, but those nerves were different to what I felt before meeting Mei’s friends.
Music has always been there for me, even while I’ve been trapped in the sound I developed in my teens.
Countless people have let me down. Music never has.
Oblivious to my melancholy, Mei links her arm with mine. “Well, they all liked you—trust me. You’re stuck with us every Monday morning now.”
“OK.” Weight I’ve become so used to carrying I forgot it was there lifts from my chest at my new friend’s reassurance. I smile with relief at being accepted.
How long will your new friends stick around once they find out you lied to them? They’ll drop you as soon as they discover the real you. Or worse, stay just long enough to use you for their fifteen minutes of fame.
I choose to ignore the nasty voice in my head.
These women aren’t like the hangers-on I’ve been dodging for years.
They’re real, and so is their offer of friendship.
I have to trust they’ll be able to forgive my deception whenever the truth comes to light.
If they can’t, at least I’ll know what having a real friend group feels like.
Even before I became Melody Night, I never had many friends.
Growing up, I was too shy, too awkward, too preoccupied with my guitar and the songs in my head.
I’d rather seize this opportunity to experience a taste of the kind of friendship group I’ve only seen on TV than never have it at all.
“See you later,” Mei says.
“Bye.” We share a smile before walking off in opposite directions.
When Liam suggested I hide out in Pine Grove, I never imagined I’d find so much more than a quiet reprieve from reality.
It’s only been a couple of weeks, but I can already tell my time here is changing me.
The plan was always to go back to Nashville after this.
The problem is, I’m not sure that’s what I want anymore.
After this taste of freedom, stepping back into my old life will feel like trying to dance in a pair of heels two sizes too small—painful and nearly impossible to pull off.