Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Austin
Leaning back in my chair with a sigh of defeat, I hold out my hand to give the last of my pretend money to Reggie.
“Mate, what’s up with you?” Dev asks.
“What do you mean?”
“He means, you just lost and paid me the last of your cash without a word. Usually you’d grumble about me having so many hotels, or something.”
Casting a dispassionate look over the game board, I muse, “You do have a lot of hotels.”
“The fact you’re only noticing this now concerns me.”
I pin Jeremy with a look. “It’s only a game, Jer. Who cares if I’m not paying close attention?”
Dev shrugs. “We wouldn’t usually—but it’s not just the game you’re ignoring.
You’ve barely said two words all evening.
” He holds up his hands placatingly. “I know you’re hardly a chatterbox, but you’ve been quiet even for you.
You totally missed the opportunity to take the piss out of Jer when he got sent to jail for the fifth time.
Even when you’re not in a sharing mood, your shit-talking’s usually still on point.
This,” Dev gestures at me from across the table, “is weird.”
“Five times? Huh.”
“Alright, spill it,” Reggie demands. “What’s going on?”
Reaching for my beer bottle, I admit, “I don’t know anymore.”
“Let me guess—this funk you’re in has something to do with Cassie?” Jer asks.
“Why would you think that?”
Reggie laughs. “Really?” Somehow his tone of voice and raised brows manage to call me an idiot without him needing to utter the words. “You’re not exactly subtle. She’s had you all riled up from the moment you met her.”
“Because she crashed into my bar.”
“Because you’re attracted to her but too scared to do anything about it,” he counters.
“Reg,” Jeremy censors him. “That’s a bit harsh, mate.”
He’s not swayed. “No, it’s time he stops dancing around the truth and admits how he feels.” Reggie gives me a stern look. “You know I’m right.”
Rubbing a hand over my beard, I reply, “It’s not that simple.”
“No offence, but I don’t think it’s as complicated as you’re making it,” Dev chimes in.
“You too?”
He shrugs again. “Just calling it how I see it. You’re tangled up in knots over this girl, but you’re so busy worrying about being appropriate that you can’t get out of your own way long enough to be happy.”
“I’m nearly a decade older than her, and I’m her boss. It is inappropriate.”
“Says who?”
I scoff. He’s being ridiculous.
“No, I’m dead serious. I’m not saying the age gap is nothing, but if she were immature, you wouldn’t be attracted to her. She’s an adult. You don’t get to act like you’re doing her a favour by denying your feelings. All you’re doing is denying yourself a chance at being happy.”
“I’m still her boss.”
“Listen, you know we all think Bowman’s is great, but there’s no way waiting tables there is Cassie’s dream job. If you two get together and it doesn’t work out, she won’t have any trouble finding something else if she doesn’t want to keep working for you,” Reggie says.
“She’s still going to leave,” I argue weakly.
“Maybe.” Reggie takes a sip of beer. “All the more reason to tell her you’re interested while you still have the chance.”
“I’m trying to do the right thing here. It’s obvious there’s something going on in her life that she’s avoiding.”
“Have you talked to her since last Friday? Really talked?” Reggie asks.
“A little, but not about that. She seems fine, and I don’t want to pry.”
“What happened last Friday?” Jeremy asks, leaning forward.
“Some drunk idiot grabbed her and she…” I trail off, not wanting to spread news of her panic attack if, by some miracle, word hasn’t already got around town.
“Ah, that’s why she ran out?” Dev asks.
“You heard about that?”
Dev grimaces. “Most people have. I’m surprised Jer hasn’t overheard people talking about it here. On the bright side, after her awesome performance at the reopening, people switched from talking about the incident to how great she was almost right away.”
“Wait, are you saying she had a panic attack?” Jeremy asks.
“Yeah.”
He nods in understanding. “I wish I could say I’m surprised, but…”
“But what?” I ask.
“The first time I met her, she kind of… freaked out.”
“No she didn’t,” Dev replies with a frown. “We all saw you meet her here when you went to take her order.”
Jer shakes his head, his long hair brushing against his neck.
“That was the second time we met. The first time was when she left her purse at Beans & Bakes. Daphne asked me to run it out to her, and she almost ran away from me before realising I wasn’t some weirdo.
It was weird, like she expected someone to be chasing her for a different reason. ”
“Maybe that’s why she’s so secretive. Do you think she’s in some kind of trouble?” Reggie asks, voice laden with concern.
“I asked last Friday. She told me she’s safe. It sounds like there’s some family drama she’s avoiding, but she didn’t go into details.”
He nods. “As long as she’s not in any danger.”
“She’s not,” I assure him, and they all show visible signs of relief. “You know I nearly told her I feel… something.”
“Something? How romantic,” Reggie’s voice drips with sarcasm.
“What stopped you?” Dev asks.
“We were interrupted. Seems to be a running theme for us,” I say, thinking about our almost-kiss and our conversation in Wordplay for the millionth time.
Turning towards Reggie, I admit, “I think you might be right—I am scared. It’s been a long time since I’ve been interested in anyone, and so much about Cassie is still a mystery.
Plus, she’ll leave once summer’s over. Is it so wrong not to want to get attached when I know I’ll only be left behind in the end? ”
Reggie’s eyes soften. “Listen, I know people leaving is a sore spot for you, and it’s completely understandable, but Cassie’s not your dad, and she’s not Aria. It’s obvious that you’re already attached. Your denial only makes it easier for her to leave.”
“Phoebe said Cassie likes it here,” Jeremy adds. “She might end up sticking around.”
“You could give her another reason to stay,” Reggie encourages.
“Maybe.” Three unimpressed looks are directed my way. “Alright, fine. You all have a point.”
“That we do. Now go grab another round so I can finish kicking this lot’s arses.” Reggie rubs his palms together, gleefully eyeing all the real estate he’s amassed on the game board while the other two groan.
They’re right. Hiding how I feel about Cassie won’t make those feelings any less real. I need to either face it head-on or put some professional distance between us for real. No more trying to have it both ways—it’s not fair to either of us.
* * *
Cassie
The girls and I are gathered for another coffee morning at Beans & Bakes, sitting in what I’m realising is their usual spot by the window.
Daphne, looking fabulous in black wide-leg trousers and an emerald-green satin blouse, supplied everyone with delicious, fresh scones the size of my hand, along with strawberry jam and clotted cream.
The voice in my head that sounds much too like my mother telling me I’m not allowed such an indulgent treat almost had me politely declining, but I managed to ignore it.
I’ve put on weight since coming to Pine Grove and it feels good.
Not being in a constant calorie deficit is a good thing. I have so much more energy now.
If I spend enough time here, will it permanently silence the echoes of Miranda’s harsh words clanging around in my head?
Lazy, ungrateful, pathetic. I’m none of those things.
I worked damn hard for everything I have.
If I were truly how my mother describes me, I wouldn’t have found my place here so quickly.
Nobody in Pine Grove knows who I am. There’s none of the two-faced fawning Melody Night gets.
If people here didn’t like me, they’d have no reason to pretend otherwise—Molly is proof of that.
Austin too. Things have grown increasingly awkward between us since we bumped into each other in Wordplay.
Taking a sip of my latte, I half listen to Phoebe’s story about the disastrous date she went on in the next town over. The others commiserate over the trials of dating apps but, since I’ve never used one, I find my mind drifting back to a certain taciturn redhead.
I thought I could be brave and take another run at talking to Austin.
That I could confess I’d like to turn our almost-kiss into the real thing—not just for a spur-of-the-moment hookup either.
If we kiss now, it will mean something. At least it would to me.
Crossing paths with him in Wordplay seemed like the perfect opportunity to put myself out there.
I thought we’d been getting somewhere. I even flirted.
Admittedly, I’m pretty out of practice, but still.
The more I thought about the way he turned me down in his office, the more it seemed like he may not have been rejecting me but the offer of no-strings fun.
Especially when he opened up to me about his family after I walked in on him playing guitar last Monday.
I thought things had changed between us.
I thought there was a vibe. Then he all but called me a distraction.
A distraction. I take an aggressive bite of my scone, sending a few crumbs into my lap.
Maybe I’m being oversensitive, but Austin’s words made me feel like I was back in Melody Night’s shoes.
Never taken seriously, only useful for a good time, nothing more.
He probably didn’t mean anything by it, but what if he did?
I know what he thought of me when I first arrived.
I thought we’d moved past that, but maybe that was wishful thinking on my part.