Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
Cassie
Mei laughs at my stricken expression as we make our way across the cinema’s carpeted foyer. “Are you OK?”
“You said it was a horror-comedy. Where was the comedy? I’m going to have nightmares for at least a week.”
“You said you don’t mind a little gore.”
“Yeah, emphasis on little.”
When she asked me at last night’s barbecue if I fancied catching an early afternoon showing before work today, I was eager to accept her invitation.
I can’t remember the last time I went to the cinema, and it felt great knowing one of my new friends wanted to spend time with me beyond our weekly coffee hangs.
Now, as we exit the building, leaving the scent of popcorn and hot dogs behind, I regret agreeing before asking any questions.
Questions like ‘What are we going to see’ and ‘Will it traumatise me’.
Looking at my complexion, which I’m convinced must be at least a touch green at present, Mei gives me an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. The trailer made it seem like it wasn’t too bad—I thought it was going to be on par with the first film.”
Oh my God, they made more than one of those? I shudder. “It’s fine—but next time I get to pick the movie.”
“Deal. So, are you excited to perform with Austin tomorrow?”
Thankful for the distraction from the nightmare-fuel currently playing in my head on repeat, I latch onto the subject change with both hands.
“Yeah. You know, my first gig at Bowman’s was supposed to be a one-time thing, but I missed performing for smaller crowds—I mean, small crowds.
I couldn’t perform to big crowds, that’d be too scary.
” Shit, I’m over-explaining. I press my lips together to prevent any further word vomit.
Unsurprisingly, Mei looks at me as if she’s assessing whether I need some kind of medical intervention. Honestly, my heart’s pounding so fast it feels like I might. “That makes sense, I guess.”
Wait, really?
Noting my obvious surprise, she explains, “We all assumed the reopening wasn’t your first time playing for an audience. You were way too good to be a newbie.”
“Right. Um, thanks.”
“You know, your voice really reminds me of someone.”
“It does?” I hedge, hoping this conversation isn’t going where I think it is.
“Yeah, that country singer Molly’s like, obsessed with—Melody Night.
” Mei’s words have me breaking out in a cold sweat despite the hot afternoon sun.
It’s a physical reaction far more extreme than anything the horror film we just watched induced.
Suddenly I long to be back inside the theatre I was all too eager to escape not ten minutes ago.
At least in there it was dark enough that my face wouldn’t give me away.
“Really?” I ask, doing my best to appear normal, even injecting a note of scepticism into my voice as if to suggest I think the comparison is ridiculous.
God, I hate myself. Mei’s the first friend I made here, and now I’m fucking gaslighting her.
She deserves better. I know that, but I can’t let her find out the truth before I tell Austin.
I’ll come clean to Mei and the others soon, but Austin should be the first to know.
“Yeah. You look a lot like her, too.” Bile burns the back of my throat, but I swallow it back down. Play it cool. She doesn’t know anything. If she did, this conversation would look completely different.
“Who, Molly?” I ask, being purposefully obtuse.
My stomach roils, and I glance at the nearby planter filled with some kind of shrub, gauging the distance between me and it.
If my stomach rejects what little popcorn I ingested before the movie got too gory, I’m not sure I’ll make it over there in time.
“No, Melody.” Mei tilts her head to one side and squints at me. “If you ditched your glasses and went blonde, the two of you could be twins.”
The hysterical laugh that bursts out of me is as suspicious as it is involuntary.
Shit. I can’t let her put the pieces together.
Not now, not when I’m so close to telling the truth on my own.
“You know what they say—everyone’s got a twin out there somewhere.
” I force another light laugh as though I find the very idea of anyone comparing me to Melody—or well, me—amusing instead of downright terrifying.
“I guess.” Mei shrugs. For a moment the only sounds are our shoes hitting the pavement, distant birdsong, and the whoosh of a passing car.
“I’d say you should enter one of those look-alike contests, but honestly, I can’t picture you ever wearing enough ruffles and glitter to imitate her look.
Not that there’s anything wrong with how she dresses,” she rushes to add.
“Whatever makes her happy, right? It’s just so not your vibe. ”
“You’re right. That’s not me at all.”
“Do you want to grab a coffee?” she asks.
I shake my head. “Not today. I think I might take a nap before work. Last night was kind of a late one.”
It’s not a complete lie—I am tired. Our friends didn’t start making any moves to leave Austin’s until after ten last night.
They helped clean up a bit, but Austin and I insisted they leave most of it to us.
By the time everyone had said their goodbyes, and the two of us got the leftovers packed up, found room for them in the fridge, and washed all the dishes, it was pretty late.
Not that late nights are anything new for me, but I woke up early today so that Austin and I could fit in one more practice session before I left to meet up with Mei. Plus, I’ve not been sleeping well.
Knowing that I’m going to let Austin in on my secret on Saturday, and not knowing how he’ll react…
It’s safe to say I could use a power nap to compensate for the amount of time I’ve spent lying awake staring at the ceiling.
That, and watching Austin sleep, trying to memorise the placement of every freckle, the slope of his nose, the bold arch of his brows, and the tempo of the slow rise and fall of his chest. If our talk on Saturday doesn’t go well, I might not get to see those things again—at least, not up close.
Not with my head resting on the pillow next to his.
* * *
I’ve just woken up from my nap and finished changing out of one of the soft flannel shirts I’ve stolen from Austin and into my Bowman’s uniform when my phone rings. Like every time since the call from my mother, my muscles tense before I see Liam’s name on the caller ID.
I accept the video call, then lean my phone against the bathroom mirror so I can talk and apply a little makeup at the same time. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Just checking in. How are things with you and Austin?”
“Great,” I reply, keeping my tone light while I apply a coat of mascara to my lashes.
“Have you told him yet?”
I sigh, knowing he means well, but growing tired of him asking the same question every time we’ve talked over the past few weeks. “Not yet—”
“Cassie, you need to talk to him. If you don’t and he finds out the truth some other way—”
“I know, which is why I’ve decided to tell him right after we perform at Bowman’s tomorrow night.”
“Wouldn’t it be more sensible to tell him before you go on stage again?”
“Definitely, but there’s no way he’ll sing with me if he knows the truth. He’s good, Liam. Really fucking good. He’d never want all the attention that comes with a career in music, but I still want him to get up there and show people what he can do. He deserves to know how great he is.”
“Are you sure you’ll get the chance to talk to him afterwards? Won’t his mum and friends want to congratulate him?”
“Trust me, that will last all of five minutes and then he’ll be ready to go home,” I reply before swiping on a coat of tinted lip balm.
Liam bobs his head in acceptance. “Fair enough. Have you thought about what you’re going to say?”
A hysterical bubble of laughter flies up my throat. “It’s all I think about.” I let out a shaky exhale. “I’m scared, Liam. What if this ruins everything? What if I tell him and he—he’s just done with me?”
“Look, I don’t know him, but I have to believe that if he loves you, he’ll understand why you hid that part of your life.”
“I don’t know if he does—love me, I mean.
We haven’t… sometimes I think he might. The way he looks at me…
nobody’s ever looked at me like that, but we haven’t said it.
That’s probably a good thing though, right?
I don’t feel right saying it while I’m keeping so much from him, and if he says it before I tell him who I really am, then it won’t be all of me he loves, will it?
He only knows Cassie, but I’m not ready to leave Melody behind. ”
“Does this mean you’re going to keep making music?” Liam asks hopefully.
“As if you ever believed I’d stop. Sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself.”
“I hoped you’d keep going in some way, even if you stopped performing and switched to writing for other artists. You love music so much, it would break my heart to see you give it up completely.”
“In that case, you’ll be pleased to know I have a plan,” I tell him.
My cheeks puff out with the force of my sigh.
“First, I’m going to talk to Austin. After that, I’ll know…
” I swallow around the lump in my throat.
“Once he knows everything, I’ll decide on my next move.
I want to stay in Pine Grove, and I wouldn’t be staying just for Austin, but if—if things don’t work out with him, then I don’t know if that will still be a good idea. ”
“You’ll figure it out,” Liam assures me. I wish I felt as confident as he seems.
“I hope so. As for the Melody stuff, I’m going to keep the stage name but ditch the princess of country crap for good.”
“I’m proud of you, Cassie.”
I swallow around a lump of emotion. “Thank you. Listen, I need to get to work, but I’ll let you know how it goes after I… you know.” After I tell my boyfriend I’ve been hiding an alter ego who happens to be a world-famous country music star from him. No biggie.
“OK. Bailey and I are here for you if you need anything.”
“I appreciate that—more than you know.” Blinking away tears, I fix a bright smile on my face. “I’ll be fine. Whatever happens, I won’t ever regret coming here.”