Chapter 36 #3
Eventually we come up for air, and Cassie rests her forehead against mine. “I know life with me won’t be as private as you’d like, but I promise to do everything I can to protect your peace.”
“We’ll make it work.” I tighten my grip, holding her closer.
“What matters most is that we’ll be together.
I won’t lie and say the idea of being perceived by millions of strangers on the internet doesn’t scare the shit out of me, but like you said last night, eventually they’ll get bored and move onto something else. ”
I press a close-mouthed kiss on the side of her neck.
“I can’t imagine what it’s like for you, people taking pictures of you everywhere you go and writing about you all the time.
That level of constant scrutiny—I can see why you needed to get away from it all.
” Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, I wet my lips, choosing my next words carefully.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but…
in the interviews with you I watched… you didn’t seem like yourself. ”
Smiling sadly, she sits up straighter but leaves her hands where they rest at the back of my neck.
“That’s because I wasn’t allowed to be. When I was first starting out, I thought all the people around me telling me how to speak, act, and what to wear were doing it to help me.
Some of them were. Most of them just wanted me to do whatever would make them the most money.
I know music is a business, but it’s art too. ”
Cassie adjusts her glasses, something I’ve noticed her do a few times when she’s nervous.
“Don’t get me wrong, I know how lucky I am—I’ve had a level of success most people only dream of—but I got tired of pretending all the time.
I couldn’t be myself and I didn’t have any real friends.
Even on days I didn’t have any scheduled appearances, if I left the house, I wasn’t allowed to wear anything that didn’t fit the princess image my team cultivated for me—all just in case someone photographed me.
After a few scary encounters with fans, I had to hire a live-in bodyguard.
Before coming here and being just Cassie, it wasn’t safe for me to go anywhere without him. ”
“Should he be in Pine Grove with you now?” I ask, kicking myself for not considering that her walking around town alone could put her safety at risk.
My stomach churns. What if someone had recognised her when she performed at Bowman’s?
I wouldn’t have had any idea what was going on.
If Cassie had been rushed by a crowd, there’s no way I’d have been able to protect her.
Even now I’m aware of who she is, I’m still not qualified to keep her safe against any real threat.
Not that I think someone in Pine Grove would try anything untoward, but what if her fans find out she’s here?
Some of them seem sweet, but there’s a worryingly large number of people online with a disturbing level of attachment to her.
Even that small window into the darker side of fame is enough to make me shudder.
“I’ll fly him out in the next few days. That way, when I tell the girls at our coffee morning, he’ll already be here in case someone overhears and word spreads.
His name’s Ant—I think you’ll like him. He’s as much of a stickler for the rules as you are.
” She tugs her lower lip between her teeth.
“He’s going to kill me when he finds out I’ve been living on my own here instead of staying with friends in London. ”
“You’re planning to tell people so soon?”
She shrugs one shoulder. “Yeah. I want to make sure the girls hear it from me, and the longer I keep quiet, the more likely it is to come out on its own.”
“Secrets have a way of doing that,” I agree.
“Exactly. Better it comes from me instead of the internet. Plus, I think Mei’s already suspicious. Hopefully she doesn’t hate me for lying.”
“Nobody’s going to hate you. It might take them a minute to wrap their heads around it, but they’re all smart women—they’ll understand why you kept that part of your life secret at first.”
Cassie snuggles closer, laying her head on my shoulder. “I hope you’re right.”
Her stomach growls interrupting any further reassurances I may have given. When I stand with her in my arms, she squeaks, hooking her ankles together behind my waist. As if I would ever let her fall.
“What are you doing?”
I cross the room in three paces and set her on the countertop. “Making you dinner. If you’re up for it, I’d like to hear more about your life in Nashville and how you got into music.”
I don’t want to pry, but now I’m aware of this side of Cassie, I want to learn as much as I can.
There’s no doubt in my mind that a high-profile life like hers looks very different from the outside compared to the harsh realities of living it.
The more I know, the better I’ll be able to understand and support her.
“I want to, but…” Cassie trails off and bites her lip. “I’m not sure where to start.”
“How about the beginning?”