Chapter 9
DANI
Tyrell drives me back to my apartment, Whitney Houston playing softly in the background.
Oh, that’s right. I remember now. Tyrell’s mom adores Whitney Houston…
and he does too. Atlas used to hassle the shit out of him for that, but Tyrell refused to say one bad thing about the woman with the best damn voice in the world.
It is pretty good.
I go quiet so I can listen. He’s got it playing softly, unlike Atlas, who blasted everything. He had one volume for his car stereo—maximum. You could hear him coming from three blocks away.
Biting my lips together, I let myself remember the way my eardrums used to ring on a permanent basis. But damn, I loved driving around with Atlas and singing. I didn’t even care what the music was—it was always punk rock of some kind.
I hardly ever listen to music now.
I don’t even know what I like anymore. Atlas pulled me into his music sphere, and I didn’t mind. Punk rock’s cool. I love that kind of music. But is it the only music I like?
Because I’m kind of digging on this Whitney number right now—“Higher Love.”
Tyrell is bobbing his head to the beat, his eyes darting my way when he senses me gazing at him.
“You good?”
“Yeah.” I smile. “Thanks again for coming to get me.”
“Of course. Anytime.”
And I know he means it, which is why I invite him up after he’s found a parking space a few down from my apartment building.
He hesitates for a second before unbuckling his seat belt. “Sure. I’ll walk you up.”
I give him an edgy smile, wondering why the hell I want him to meet my roommates.
What are you doing?
Why did you invite this boy up?
Girl, you’re crazy.
Ugh, Jed was a swooning mess, drooling over him at the bar, and Tobin will be even worse. Even though they’re completely in love with each other, they still check out hot guys all the time—and there is no denying that Tyrell Jackson is a hottie.
He’s so tall and obviously strong. I can feel his overwhelming presence behind me as we take the stairs.
Why I’m taking the stairs I don’t know. It’s just a habit now, I guess.
Tyrell doesn’t seem to mind, but the guy has always been unflappable, so I guess it makes sense.
He just quietly gets on and does. No complaining. No fuss.
Atlas used to love that about him. In all the chaos he threw himself into, he always knew that Tyrell would have his back. He could be reckless, because Tyrell would always be there to save him.
Until he wasn’t.
Until I wasn’t.
I wince, grateful Tyrell can’t see my face as I try to ward off the guilt and regret that lives permanently inside me. I never should have stormed away after our fight. I should have stuck around and made sure he didn’t take those drugs.
“So, the elevator broken or something?” Tyrell eventually asks me as we hit the last flight of stairs.
“No.” I laugh and smile over my shoulder. “Jed and Tobin always take the stairs, so I got into the habit, and now I don’t even think to use the elevator.”
“It’s a good habit,” he murmurs.
“Thanks.” I pull my key out of my purse and squeeze it in my fingers.
My heart has started racing, and it’s not the standard I’ve been exercising racing. More of a nervous racing, my body tensing as I slip the key into the lock and open the door.
Tobin and Jed are on the couch, watching Heartstopper. They are so addicted to that show. I have no idea how many times they’ve watched it, but they’re suckers for high school romance.
I get it. High school romance is the best. I lived the perfect love story in high school, and what I wouldn’t give to turn back time and do it all over again.
“Hey, guys.” I tuck my keys away before placing my purse down on the kitchen counter. “How’s it going?”
“Yeah, good, we’re just—” Tobin’s voice cuts off as he glances back at me, then spots Tyrell in the doorway.
His lips part, his eyes bulging in awe and…
yep, there’s the appreciation. “Hi there.” He greets Tyrell in a breathy voice, following it up with a giggle before spinning to have a silent conversation with Jed.
Jed nods, his eyes rounding, and I can almost hear him saying, “I know! I told you. Didn’t I tell you!”
Clearing his throat, Tobin spins back around, resting his forearm on the back of the couch before perching his chin on top of it. “I’m Tobin. And you are…?” He eyes Tyrell up like he’s a tasty treat, and I internally groan.
“Uh… hi.” Tyrell’s voice is so deep compared to Tobin’s. He rumbles out an awkward hello, waving at the couple on the couch who look about ready to ask him if he’s open to a threesome.
Seriously!
Stepping in front of Tyrell, I try to create a protective shield, which is kind of a joke considering how tall he is.
The top of my head reaches to only just above his shoulders, and he’s such a broad, imposing unit that I basically fit within his outline.
But I can still hide the middle part, right?
“So, I thought Dani was out with Sutton tonight.” Jed taps his boyfriend on the shoulder. “Why is she coming home with Tyrell here?”
I roll my eyes, dipping my chin and muttering to the floor, “Sutton was a bust.”
“What?” Jed pops off the couch, straightening his shirt as he moves around to me. “What happened?”
I’m in his arms before I know what’s happening, and Tobin vaults off the couch too. I’m soon cocooned between my roommates as they ask me multiple questions about the date, and I mumble out my answers.
“Ugh. What a putz!” Tobin’s the first to break away from the hug, resting his hands on his hips and frowning at Jed. “Why did you recommend him?”
“I didn’t!” Jed tries to defend himself. “She asked me if he was safe, and I said yes. I didn’t know he was an arrogant douchebag. Of course I wouldn’t have told her to go for it if I’d known that.” He rolls his eyes, letting me go, but still hovering nearby. “Girl, why didn’t you call us?”
“I don’t know,” I grumble, crossing my arms and glancing at Tyrell.
He gives me one of his gentle smiles, and I immediately do know.
I called him because he’s Black Jack. The quiet guy Atlas could always rely on. The one who came when he called, who listened when he ranted, who calmed things down when tensions got too high.
“Well, I’m… gonna take off.” He points over his shoulder.
“Are you sure?” Tobin’s sweet face drops with disappointment. “You’re welcome to stay. We’re probably going to crack open the ice cream and have sympathy sundaes.”
Tyrell grins. “In that case, I should definitely go.” He pats his rock-hard abs. “Ice cream’s a weakness for me. Better leave and avoid temptation.”
I smile back at him when he catches my eye, then mouth, “Thank you.”
“Anytime.” His deep voice is husky. “I’ll text you, okay?”
“Okay.” I nod, this warm sensation buzzing through my chest as I wave goodbye and watch him walk out the door.
The second he’s gone, both Jed and Tobin start swooning, gushing about how hot he is and how sweet it was that he dropped everything to come get me when I called.
“I don’t even know why I called,” I say, opening the container of ice cream Tobin hands me.
Cookie dough with caramel ripple. Yum!
I’m not sure I’m ready to admit that I didn’t think they’d understand. I don’t want to hurt their feelings.
Pulling me to the couch, which is shaped like an L, I’m shoved into the corner pocket while they sit on either side of me and make me rehash the date. I don’t spare a detail while they make all the supportive, appropriate noises only true friends can make.
“What an asshat,” Jed grumbles. “I’m spitting in his next beer.”
Tobin grins. “I love you, baby.”
Jed’s lips twitch, and they share a gooey smile while I focus on the ice cream. I’ve eaten half the container already and am starting to feel sick, but I can’t seem to stop scooping out little spoonfuls to suck on.
“But let’s stop talking about Spunktrumpet Sutton and start—”
“Spunktrumpet?” I laugh. “What does that even mean?”
Tobin smirks. “It’s a UK term that I recently discovered, and it means an obnoxious person who can’t shut up. Hence the trumpet part.”
Jed tips his head back, howling with laughter. “Babe, how did you discover that word?”
“I was getting over using fuck nugget as an insult and wanted some fresh material. I love that this one is UK-based, because it makes it rare here, and I can be the sole provider of this insult in Nolan, Colorado.” He lifts his chin, looking all triumphant. “It makes me special.”
Jed leans across me, grabbing Tobin’s face and giving him a deep kiss. “You are special, baby.”
Tobin blushes, and I’m about two seconds away from leaving them to it when Jed senses me squirming between them and pings back like he wasn’t about to devour his boyfriend right on top of me.
“So, Tyrell’s offered to find you the perfect man, huh?”
“Apparently,” I mumble, passing my ice cream to Tobin before I start puking up creamy lava. Seriously, I’ve eaten way too much, and my stomach is hating on me right now.
“I think he’s the perfect man,” Tobin murmurs, placing the ice cream on the coffee table before glancing at Jed. “For Dani. Don’t you think? The perfect man for our girl, here?”
“Hells yeah. I said that last night, but she didn’t want to hear it.” He points a thumb at me like I’m a crazy person.
I shake my head while Tobin bulges his eyes at me. “Why aren’t you into it? He’s hot, obviously so kind, so why? Why, Dani Hill? Why?”
It’s impossible not to laugh at his exasperation, and I lightly palm his face, turning it away from me.
“Stop it. I’m not gonna go out with Atlas’s best friend.
That is too weird. Besides, it’s… Tyrell.
I mean, I’ve never looked at him that way.
He’s just… That will never be an option, okay?
He may be good-looking and sweet, but there’s…
It’s not like that between us. Never has been. Never will be.”
Resting my hand on Tobin’s shoulder, I use him to pull myself out of the corner and walk around my roommate.
“I’m gonna take a long, hot shower. Try to wash this night off me and then catch myself some sleep.” I walk for the bathroom, calling over my shoulder, “Thanks for the ice cream, roomies.”
“You’re welcome!” Jed replies.
“Still think you’re wrong about the Ty-Man!” Tobin hassles me.
I shake my head, ignoring his comment, because seriously…
Tyrell and me?
Yeah, that can never be a thing.