Chapter 13
DANI
Tyrell is too cute, working overtime to make me feel better.
For a second, I contemplate telling him that he really doesn’t have to do that and asking if he can just take me home.
But I don’t want to hurt his feelings, and the idea of lightening the mood is kind of appealing. I don’t want every conversation we have to be this somber “I miss Atlas” ordeal.
So, I blink, look up at him again, and whisper, “Okay. Let’s play.”
“Alrighty then.” He puts on a presenter’s voice that has me giggling.
Unlocking his car, he holds open the passenger door for me while stumbling through a dating show introduction.
“Welcome to the Dani Dating Show. This afternoon, we’re going to find out what Miss Hill is looking for in a man. On a quest for a fresh new start, our lovely lady here is braving the world of romance. Can she describe her dreamboat guy?”
He closes the door, and I buckle up while he runs around to the driver’s side. He’s so tall, it only takes him three strides before he’s getting behind the wheel, glancing to check on me before starting up the engine.
“So, Miss Hill, what are you looking for in a man? Let’s start with his personality.” He’s still using the presenter voice, and it’s cracking me up.
“Um…” I laugh, then brush my teeth over my bottom lip as I think about it.
“He needs to be sweet, considerate of other people, and care about his family. The kind of guy who would do anything for them. Not in that being walked all over kind of way, but in that you’re important to me, so I’ll make time for you kind of way. ”
“Like your dad,” Tyrell murmurs, and my smile is instant.
“Yeah. Like my dad.”
“That’s good. What else?”
“Okay, uh…” I’m doing my best not to list off all of Atlas’s best traits.
And if I’m completely honest, much to my sadness, I’m struggling to remember all of the intricate details that made him who he was.
It’s been so long since I spent time with him.
I can still see his face in my head, hear his laughter, see him singing onstage, but he’s fading.
And I need to figure out what I want. As an adult woman. What kind of guy do I want? Is it different from what I had?
“You need some ideas?” Tyrell glances at me.
“No, I… was just thinking.” I swallow and scan the street as we drive back to the other side of town. “He needs to be easy to talk to. Like I can tell him anything and not worry that he’ll be judging me.”
“Yeah, definitely. Me too,” Tyrell’s voice rumbles.
I really do love how deep it is. I always have.
When I first met him, he’d hit puberty earlier than Atlas, and it was kind of hilarious.
These two best friends, one towering over the other.
This big bulk of Black muscle next to his skinny white friend.
Tyrell’s voice was deep while Atlas had a softer, gentler sound, still cracking occasionally.
He was all blond scruff with these haunted gray eyes, so different from the calm, brown gaze Tyrell would study me with.
“And what else?” I ask myself. “I want him to be chill, calm in a crisis. Smart, can think things through rather than just throwing himself into the fray.”
Huh. That’s interesting. You’re basically describing the opposite of Atlas. You realize that, right?
I stiffen, shaking my head and wrapping up the personality thing. Without being asked to, I shift to likes and dislikes.
“He needs to love music, not mind it playing all the time. He needs to enjoy dancing. He doesn’t have to love it, but he has to like it enough that if I’m in the mood to get down on the dance floor, I won’t be boogieing alone.”
Tyrell chuckles, tapping his thumb on the wheel as we slow at the set of traffic lights.
“He needs to want to travel. See the world with me.”
Tyrell whips his head to give me a surprised smile. “You want to travel?”
“Oh yeah.” I give him an excited grin. “I’ve been saving for years. I just haven’t found the guts to head off on my own.”
“Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere. Everywhere.”
“Come on, girl. Give me specific places. Are we talking Paris or Prague? Morocco or Thailand? What parts of the world do you really want to experience?”
“Okay…” An excited buzz travels through me as I shift in my seat.
“Well, I want to see all of that. And the Pyramids of Giza and Petra. And I want to walk the streets of Pompeii and stand in the Colosseum in Rome. I want to paddleboard over crystal-clear waters in the Maldives, and even though I can’t ski or snowboard, I want to learn on the Swiss Alps. ”
His lips curl into a smile as I talk, his head bobbing along like he totally understands my excitement.
“I want to swim with sharks in the Caribbean, and I want to hike the forests of New Zealand. I want to see the Taj Mahal with my own eyes, and I want to experience all the different cultures around the world. So, yeah… I really need someone who’s got the travel bug.”
“Wow.” Tyrell laughs. “I had no idea. Have you always been like this?” He glances at me, and I hitch my shoulder.
“I mean, I always loved finding out things about the world as a kid. And Atlas and I used to daydream about him becoming a famous rock star and touring the world. Oh! Iceland. I forgot to say I want to check out Scandinavia. Those countries look amazing. Such rugged terrain.”
He nods. “So, you and Atlas used to dream about tripping around the world, huh?”
“Well, it was mostly me, but Atlas loved the idea of touring with his band.” My voice trails off, that familiar sadness swamping me until Tyrell throws out a metaphorical hand and pulls me out of the mire.
“I want to travel too. Strap on a pack, get on plane, and… go see the world.”
“Really?” I look at him. “Since when?”
“I don’t know.” He tips his head, steering the car left and heading down Main Street.
“I always thought football would be my everything, but after Atlas died… I don’t know what happened, but I just kind of lost my fire for it.
I still love playing, and I’m glad I never bailed on my team.
It’s just the pro life… all the attention, the cameras, the interviews.
The intensity of it all.” He makes a clicking noise with his tongue.
“I don’t want that shit. I want to be anonymous…
And you know, you watch all these movies and documentaries in different parts of the world, and it just looks so awesome.
I want to see those places with my own eyes. ”
My insides warm, a soft glow spreading through me as I recognize that excitement in his voice. He gets it. And I get it. There’s so much more outside of this country, and I can’t believe I never knew he wanted to experience it as much as I did.
We sit in silence for a moment, and I watch the foot traffic ambling down the street. Saturdays are always busier. I glance at my watch, checking how much time I have before my shift starts.
I’m still good, so I relax back into my seat and hope Tyrell doesn’t drive too fast. I’m enjoying this ride.
“So, we need to find you a man who’s into travel and what else?”
“Um…” My lips twitch as I try to come up with more. “It’d be great if he could cook. I mean, I can, I just don’t love it.” I stick out my tongue and Tyrell laughs, shaking his head.
“Oh man, I know, right? I need to find me a woman who can cook.” He makes a face. “And that makes me sound like some 1950s sexist asshole, but I don’t love being in the kitchen either.”
“You’re not sexist.” I giggle, brushing my hand down his arm. “And while I’m over here listing all the things I want, what about you? What do you want in a girlfriend?”
His cheeks puff out like a chipmunk’s before he blows out a breath and starts creating his own list. “She needs to be kind, understanding. Nonjudgmental. She needs to know how to handle people with special needs.”
“Cyrus,” I murmur.
“That’s right.” Tyrell nods, his expression serious. “I can’t date a girl who won’t give everything to try and communicate and connect with my brother.”
I watch his jaw clench and wonder if he’s dated a girl who hasn’t been that way, and he’s determined never to make that mistake again.
“Is he the reason why you haven’t started traveling yet?” I quietly ask.
Tyrell grips the wheel, his entire arm tensing.
I watch those muscles clench, unable to help admiring his obvious strength.
“College has kept me here, but… I sometimes worry that it’ll stop me from going.
My parents really need the support right now.
Dad’s recovering from an injury and I spent spring break in Texas, trying to persuade Cyrus that letting Letitia drive him places was a safe option. ”
“Who’s Letitia?”
“She’s one of the tutors at the college Cyrus attends.
She’s been assigned to look after him and two other students with Down syndrome.
Because my dad’s been around with flexible work hours, he’s been driving his boy all over the place, but with a broken clavicle, he’s had to give that role to someone else.
And Cyrus always takes time to adjust to new things. ”
“Was he okay by the time you left?”
“Yeah. It took four trips of me sitting with him in the back while Letitia drove, but he eventually warmed to the idea.” Tyrell’s face dips into a frown.
“He cried when I left. Does it every damn time, and it kills me.” Scrubbing a hand down his face, he lets out a frustrated sigh.
“Makes me worry that if I go off to explore the world… how’s my family gonna cope, you know?
Mom’s been dropping hints for over a year now that after graduation, it’d be great if I could move back home or set up a place of my own in Dallas. ”
He glances at me, and I give him a sympathetic smile. “That must be tough.”
I shrug. “I shouldn’t complain. I come from an amazing family. We all love and support one another.”
“So, maybe if they knew how much you wanted to travel, they’d support that too.”
Pulling up to the curb outside my apartment, Tyrell cuts the engine and turns to face me. “What if telling them breaks their hearts?”
Poor guy. He looks so tortured by that idea.
“They love you, Ty. They’ll want you to chase your dreams. And it’s not like you’ll be gone forever, right?”
“Yeah,” he mumbles, then cringes. “Why has this conversation turned itself around and landed on me? Girl, we’re supposed to be finding you a man.”
I grin. “And finding you a woman.”
He tips his head, looking a little wistful, and…
You know what?
Springing up straight, I reach for his arm, squeezing his wrist as an idea hits me. “I’m gonna find you a girl.”
“What?” He frowns.
“Yes! If you’re looking for a guy for me, then I’m going to set you up too. We can go on double dates, have each other’s backs.” I grin. “Yes! I’m loving this.”
“I don’t know.” Tyrell winces. “I’m not… You don’t have to…”
“I want to. And besides, it takes the heat off me. If we’re doing this together, then I won’t feel so much pressure.”
“Ooookay. How you gonna find me a girl?” He narrows his eyes. “You only just moved here a few months ago.”
“I work at Offside. I see a lot of girls come through my door. Plus, my roommates can help me. Don’t you worry, Mr. Jackson. I’m gonna get you the nicest girl on campus.”
A reluctant smile slowly grows on his face, and he looks away from me, shaking his head like he’s so not into this idea, but he’s pretty sure he can’t fight me on it either.
Eventually he clears his throat with a nod and promises the same. “And I’m gonna get you a music-loving traveling man who can cook and has the sweetest heart in town.”
“That’s it.” I giggle, thanking him for dropping me home before jumping out of his SUV.
Spinning with a grin, I wave goodbye as he pulls away, then run upstairs to get changed for my shift at work.
I don’t understand why, but I have these happy little bubbles popping in my chest. I think it’s just nice to have a mission that’s not centered around me moving on with my life. For once, I can think about somebody else and finding them the perfect partner.