Chapter 47 Tyrell
TYRELL
Dani’s behind the bar, staring at me like a deer in headlights.
Shit. Maybe I shouldn’t have come.
But I just needed to see her one last time.
I want a proper goodbye, and I hope she’ll let me do that.
Although, the second my eyes landed on her, all I could feel was this overwhelming urge to pull her into my arms and beg her to reconsider.
I miss her.
It’s only been five days, but I ache and pine.
When Shakespeare wrote that line, I burn, I pine, I perish… Yeah, I get it now. That’s exactly how it feels.
Clearing my throat, I shove my hands into my jean pockets, staring at her for a beat longer before pulling my hands free and walking toward the bar.
She’s still staring at me, her look morphing to wary caution.
I raise my hands, letting her know I’m not here to cause trouble.
“I just want to say goodbye.” My voice comes out all rough and uneven when I stop by the bar. “I hope that’s okay.”
Her swallow is thick, her head moving up and down—the smallest nod known to man.
It’s not okay.
Shit, I shouldn’t have done this.
Yet I’m not leaving.
My feet are planted with only the bar between us.
“You okay?” I have to ask.
“Yeah.” She nods again, a bigger movement this time. “I’m, uh…” Licking her lips, she gives me a weak smile. “This is my last shift. I’m heading… home.”
My eyebrows rise. I wasn’t expecting that. “To Colorado Springs?”
“Yeah.” She looks pained saying it. “Thought I’d catch up with my family again. Maybe do a road trip to New York. I don’t know.”
“I take it Jed and Tobin got away okay.”
She smiles, brushing her teeth over her bottom lip. “They looked really happy. Won’t be surprised if one of them proposes by the end of the year. They definitely have… permanent energy, you know?” She threads her fingers together, shaking her hands in the air to demonstrate the vibe, and I get it.
“They’re a great couple,” I agree. “Endgame.”
“Definitely,” she squeaks, and I quickly change the subject.
“How’s Nix doing?”
“She’s hurting.” Dani whips the dish towel off her shoulder and starts wiping down the counter. Her movements are fast and erratic, her brows dipped in concentration. “She’s moving into a house in Nolan. Spending the summer here.”
“You didn’t want to go with her?”
“I just need to get out of here,” she clips.
I press my lips together, nodding and not saying a damn word.
“Oh! Um…” Reaching into her back pocket, she pulls two tickets out, and I immediately recognize them. “Here’s your…” She holds it out for me.
“You can keep it.” I shake my head. “I’m sure there’s someone you can invite. Maybe your sister. Or one of your brothers.”
“No.” She winces. “You should take it. They bought it for you.”
Reluctantly, I reach for it, my fingers closing over the card Jed and Tobin printed the QR code on. “Are you gonna come back for it?”
She shrugs. “I’m not sure.”
“Yeah, me either.”
“We promised we would.” Her voice is so small it’s hard to hear, but I catch what she says, and for some weird reason, a spark of hope ignites within me.
Is she saying she’ll be ready by then?
Will August 9 be the day I get her back?
We’ll meet up at this Nolan U concert, and everything will be set right again?
Don’t go there, man. Don’t cling to something that probably won’t happen.
Let her go!
Let. Her. Go.
It’s like swallowing a jar full of nails, but I clear my throat and shove the ticket into the back pocket of my shorts before forcing out a goodbye. “Well, I’m hitting the road now, so… you’re my last stop.”
Her brown eyes hit me then, sad with compassionate understanding. “Are you doing okay? Was it hard to say goodbye?”
I let out a dry laugh. “Goodbyes are always hard. But I’ll be seeing them all again eventually. So, even though it’s been a brutal day… I’m hanging tough.”
She nods, her eyes glassing over.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” she whispers.
I shake my head, but that’s a lie. She did hurt me, so in the end, I turn that shake into a shrug.
“I don’t have what it takes to be in a relationship. I just didn’t realize it until we were together. That part of me died with Atlas, and I’m sorry that you got hurt while I was figuring it out.”
My insides pinch with pain. “So, you’re just gonna stay single for the rest of your life?”
Her shoulders rise, then lower with a heavy sigh. “Maybe. Yeah, probably.” Her nose wrinkles. “You don’t have to understand. It’s just something I…”
“Yeah, I…” My words trail off because I seriously don’t get it.
She’s got so much to give to a relationship, and she’s cutting herself off because she’s afraid of getting hurt.
She’s hurting herself to protect herself.
I wish I could make her understand that.
But I don’t think I can.
She’s resolved. I can see it in her eyes, her stance.
I can’t change her mind.
“Well…” I spread my arms wide. “Would it be okay if I gave you one last hug goodbye?”
Her smile is instant and she sniffs, walking around the bar to oblige me.
The second she steps into my space and I get a whiff of her sweet smell, I realize this is a huge mistake. It’s going to be that much harder to forget her after this… that much harder to let her go.
Yet I cling to her, wrapping my arms all the way around her and resting my cheek against her head.
“You take care of yourself,” I murmur.
“I will.” She squeezes my middle, then pulls back, staring up at me with her big brown eyes.
I go still, wishing I could read her mind.
I think I spot a fleeting look of longing and…
Yeah, there it is again.
She’s still holding me.
Still not letting go.
And before I can stop myself, I cup the side of her face, brushing my thumb across her lips.
She lets out a shuddering breath but doesn’t pull away, so I act on instinct and lower my mouth to hers. I take it slow, pausing just before we connect, letting her make the last move.
And she does.
She rises up to meet me, pressing a firm kiss to my lips.
I automatically deepen it, because that’s what my body is screaming at me to do. And she responds, her tongue gliding against mine before she pulls away.
It was a goodbye kiss.
I can sense it the second her heels land back on the floor.
Letting her go, I give her space to move away, to give me a shaky smile and whisper, “Goodbye, Black Jack.”
“Goodbye, Dani Girl.”
Releasing a shuddering breath, she turns, hurrying around the counter, desperate to put space between us.
My eyes burn as I watch her, and it takes everything in me to walk away.
But I do.
Somehow, my legs make it to the door.
I turn back one last time before leaving, and she’s still watching me. Tears are trickling down her face, and I raise my hand, waving my final goodbye.
She slashes the tears off her cheeks and tries to smile at me, but it doesn’t work.
Looks like I’m not the only one who’s hurting.
And it kills me that she’s doing this to herself.
To us.
But I have to let her go.
I know this in my gut.
And even though I want to reject the idea, talk myself out of it… I force my legs through that door. I step out into the sunshine and head for my SUV.
It’s time to move to Dallas.
It’s time to leave my college life behind and find something new.