Chapter Twelve
Hannah dragged herself to meet Aviva for coffee the next morning. As they stood in line for their caffeine fix, she filled her in on the Fortex saga. It was easier to talk about work while standing in line. Once they sat, she told her more details about her split from Dan.
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry.” Aviva squeezed her hand. Hannah focused on the froth in her coffee cup rather than Aviva’s sympathetic tone, or she’d risk losing it in the middle of the crowded coffee bar.
“I don’t know what to do,” Hannah said. “I can’t talk to Bubbe, though she wants me to. I can’t talk to Dan. And I can’t talk to Jim.”
“I’m glad you’re talking to me. I think you were right. You do need a break. You need some time to step back and think. Don’t make any decisions now.”
Hannah nodded and took a sip of her coffee. The nutty aroma filled her nostrils but the warm liquid sloshed in her stomach. She hadn’t eaten since Dan walked out.
“I have to say, though, I can’t believe Jim did that to you,” Aviva said over the rim of her coffee cup.
“I know. I thought he would have believed me. I wish I knew a way to prove him wrong.” She pushed the cup to the side and knotted her hands on the table.
Aviva reached across and squeezed her hand again. “Sometimes I hate this job.”
“Me too. And Dan’s suggestions were out in left field.”
“Wait, what did he say?”
When she explained Dan’s response, Aviva paused, a wry smile on her face, and shook her head. “That is so typically male. Guys want to fix things. They don’t understand anything other than, you have a problem and I need to fix it.”
“I know! First he wanted to talk to Jim for me—can you imagine what would happen if my boyfriend called my boss? Then he appeared at my apartment talking to my grandmother. He wanted to have some long conversation about all the different things I could do, and all I wanted was to have the day end, get some space and stop thinking about it. If he, of all people, can’t understand, I don’t know how I can be with him.”
Aviva leaned back in her seat. “I totally understand. He’s a pretty closed-up guy and he should be able to deal with your wishes. I think you need to take a breath, give yourself some time and see what happens next week. You don’t want to make a rash decision—about your job or Dan.”
Hannah sipped her coffee before she answered. It still didn’t calm her stomach, but she needed the caffeine. “You’re right. In the meantime, I’ll get my résumé ready, because while I can’t afford not to have a job, I can’t work for someone who is ready to sacrifice me the second things get complicated.”
“Good for you,” said Aviva. “Will you see if there’s an opening in another department? I’d love to have my best friend work with me.”
She shook her head. “Don’t you remember what happened to Regina? She had a problem in one department, switched to another and became the office pariah.”
“Oh, right. I don’t know how I forgot about her.”
“Must be getting old.”
Aviva made a funny face and stuck out her tongue. “Going back to Dan, take some time to think about him too. He seems like a great guy. I’d hate for you to regret your decision.”
Monday as he dressed, Dan’s phone buzzed. He looked at the ID on the screen, clenched his jaw and let it go to voicemail. Turning it off, he stuffed it in his briefcase and left for work. Hannah wanted a break? Every time he recalled her saying it, a dark cloud enveloped him and he couldn’t breathe. But she’d said she needed a break, so he’d give her one.
He’d spent more time working on his puzzle this weekend than he thought possible, and made zero progress on it.
Because he couldn’t stop thinking about her.
His anger burned hot. Every time he tried to distract himself, he was reminded of her. The bright colors of the puzzle reminded him of her hair and her eyes. Shopping with Tess reminded him of their trip to the flea market. Eating reminded him how much he wanted to cook for her. But he learned something too. He could be inundated with thoughts of her without losing control.
Even if she drove him crazy.
Lisa was waiting for him when he arrived at the office. “We have a problem.”
Great, eight-thirty in the morning.He motioned her inside.
“You know how we said we needed to keep the information about Fortex quiet until the last possible minute?” Lisa asked.
Swallowing the bitter taste in his mouth at the mention of the company, he nodded. “Yeah.”
“Well, one of my interns knows a junior reporter at The Journal and leaked the information to her.”
Dan swore to himself. The leak came from his office. “Why the hell would he”—he looked at Lisa for confirmation and continued—“do something like that?”
“He wanted to impress her and thought this was the way to do it.”
“Idiot. Are you sure it was him?”
“Positive. I made phone calls this weekend after you and I talked.”
“Can I assume you’ve already taken care of him?”
“I fired him and warned the rest of the staff what would happen if they ever did something like this.”
“The only thing that saves us is we’re far enough along in the process to move on what we have. This can’t ever happen again, though.”
When she left, he opened the report and began his review, accelerating the timeline. He’d have to let Hannah know. Clenching his teeth, he drafted her an email.
The leak came from my office. An intern with a reporter friend. We took care of it. You can tell Jim you had nothing to do with it.
He stared at the words on the screen. Before he could do anything he’d regret—like beg her to take him back—he hit Send. An hour and a half later, his office phone buzzed. “Yes?”
“Daddy?”
“Tess?” His stomach tightened at her unexpected voice and his throat went dry. She never called his office phone. “Why are you calling my office line?”
“Because I’ve tried your cell and it goes straight to voicemail.”
With a start, he looked at his briefcase and pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d turned it off to avoid Hannah.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I turned it off by mistake. What’s up? Why aren’t you in class?”
“It’s lunchtime and I got an A on my math test.”
Background noise of teen chatter reminded him of the ridiculously early times of high school lunch. “That’s great! Want me to bring home something to celebrate?”
“Something chocolate?”
Dan rubbed the nape of his neck. He’d spent so much of their lives limiting his enjoyment of things, and it didn’t just affect him. It affected her, too. It was time to change. “Great idea.”
“Really? Yay! Love you, Daddy!”
“Love you too, Tess. See you later. And I’m sorry about my cell phone.” He hung up and glanced out the window. The sun shined over the buildings and gave Dan a strong urge to go outside for fresh air. Grabbing his phone—this time, he turned it on—and stuffing it into his back pocket, he picked up his cane and left the office. Outside, the brisk air rejuvenated him, helping to cool some of his anger. He slowed his steps and took deep breaths as he tried to relax.
He wandered down the sidewalk, staring into shop windows without seeing anything, avoiding other pedestrians out of sheer luck. A few blocks down the street, the hot dog vendor set up in his usual spot on the corner. Dan’s stomach tightened as he thought of Hannah.
It had been four days and his heart felt as if a piece of it was missing. He wasn’t hungry, but passing the hot dog vendor, smelling the salty scent, and remembering his lunch with Hannah made him salivate. His anger fizzled. Yeah, he was hurt and wow, he missed her. How much longer did her break need to last?
That night, Hannah dialed Dan’s apartment. By Sunday, she’d cooled down enough to think about him and his suggestions, and she itched to talk to him. She hadn’t been fair. He’d tried to help and she’d pushed him away. She’d let her anger over her boss infect their relationship. But he didn’t answer and he didn’t return her messages. Her need to hear his voice drove her crazy. When he didn’t answer, she realized she didn’t just need to talk to him. She needed to see him.
Grabbing her purse, she raced out the door. When she got to his building, she followed someone else in, raced to the elevator and rode to the third floor. Knocking on his door, she listened for noise inside. The door cracked and Tess peeked through.
“Hannah?” She closed the door, undid the chain, and pulled it open wide. “I didn’t know you were coming over.” She didn’t look pleased to see her. Was it too late?
“Hey, Tess. I’m sorry to barge in like this. I didn’t know I was either but I need to talk to your dad.” At Tess’s look of uncertainty, she continued. “I hurt his feelings and I need to apologize.”
Tess’s face cleared. “That explains his mood. Yeah, you can come in.” She turned to call him, but Hannah stopped her.
“No, I’ll just pop in. Where is he?”
“We just finished celebrating my math test, which means he’s probably in the guest room, working on his puzzle.”
“Congratulations!” Hannah tried to show interest, though every nerve in her body thrummed in agitation.
“Thanks.” She twirled her hair.
Hannah gave her a quick hug and raced down the hall. From the doorway, she saw Dan seated at a table, focused on the puzzle. She couldn’t make out the details, only that there were bright colors. He held a piece in the air, looking as if he waited for a magical pull from some part of the puzzle to indicate where the piece belonged.
“That’s quite a puzzle.” She walked in, her feet leaden now that she was here.
He jumped. Surprise crossed his features before he schooled them into…nothing. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to you.”
When he didn’t react, she swallowed and walked toward him. The solidity of his shoulder beneath her hand grounded her. Trying to control her breathing, she inhaled his scent and a keen longing to be in his arms overtook her.
“Daddy?”
He jumped and Hannah’s hand fell from his shoulder.
“Yes, Tess.”
“I’m leaving.”
“Leaving? Where are you going?”
“The JCC. Tutoring. Don’t you remember? We talked about this.”
“Oh, right. Okay. Text me when you get there and when you leave.”
Hannah waited until the front door clicked shut. “I was wrong.” His hand stilled over the puzzle, but he continued to avoid looking at her. “I was angry at Jim and I took it out on you.”
His hand tightened around the puzzle piece and she watched his knuckles whiten.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want solutions; I wanted understanding. I should have told you what I needed.”
He raised his head, face still averted from her, and she waited. His jaw was tense and his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed. She wanted to caress his face, run her hands through his hair, but she didn’t dare. When he turned toward her, his gaze was wary.
“I didn’t know you wanted me to just listen.”
“I know. I shouldn’t have expected you to read my mind.”
“I should have given you time to explain.”
She took his hand, which was clenched around the puzzle piece, and he twisted it until his fingers clasped hers. His fingers were longer than hers, but also thicker, and hers stretched around his. The puzzle piece was trapped between their palms, and dug into her hand.
“I was overwhelmed. I should have shown more appreciation for your attempt to help me.”
Dan pushed his chair back and pulled her onto his lap. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” She rested in the comfort of his arms.
After a moment, he spoke. “Have you figured out what you’ll do about work?”
She leaned into his shoulder. A faint scent of aftershave lingered about his neck and his heart beat against her back. “Well, I told my boss and showed him your email. It didn’t seem to make much difference, so I updated my résumé and sent it to some of the headhunters who have been calling me.”
He craned his neck to look at her. “So you’ll quit your job?”
“Not necessarily, and not without having a new one first. I want to see what happens where I am. But I also want to be prepared.”
“Sounds like you’ve got a plan.”
She nodded. “I couldn’t have done it without your help.”
Frowning, he adjusted her on his lap so they could see each other better. “I don’t see how I helped much.”
“Look, at the time we talked, I wanted to vent and to have a supportive listener.” At his crestfallen expression, she stroked his cheek. “You kept suggesting ideas for things I should do. Although I didn’t want to hear it at the time, once I’d gotten over the emotion, I remembered what you said and was able to use those ideas to formulate a plan.”
He rubbed a lock of her hair between his thumb and forefinger. “So…you’re no longer looking for a break from me.” His tone was matter-of-fact, but he wouldn’t meet her gaze. Her chest tightened as she witnessed his pain.
She caressed his shoulder, studying his face and wishing he’d look at her. All she could see was a frown line between his brows and his mouth set in a straight line. “No, I reacted in anger. I wanted to push everyone away, even you, but with time to calm down and think things through, I realized pushing you away was the last thing I wanted.”
He rubbed her back. “I need you to be more careful. With me. Because I don’t want to have to wonder every time we get into an argument if you’ll break up with me because you’re angry.”
“I will. I promise. It was childish and unfair to you.”
He leaned in and kissed her, his lips gentle. His hands threaded through her hair, grasped the nape of her neck, drawing her closer, before letting her go.
She exhaled for the first time in four days.