Chapter 21 #2
“Hi, Rell.” She knelt in front of him and grinned. “I’m Chaney. Pleasure to meet you.”
Travis kissed his teeth, his lips pushed out as Rell jumped up and down in one place. Chaney gently rubbed his arm, then slid her hand down until she held his hand.
“I love your smile.”
“What do you say?”
“Thank you.” He cooed. He then took off and slid into his favorite seat—Kaleela’s lap. Chaney’s eyes followed. She felt so much love in the home she once wanted to be hers.
“Hello, cutie.” Travis flashed a broad smile. His hair was a low fade, yet the wavy texture told her if it grew, it would look like Rell’s. Despite his dark-chocolate skin and large, brown eyes, she saw the resemblance. They had to be related. “I’m Chaney, and you are?”
“Travis.” He lifted his hand, swiping his chin with his index finger and thumb like he was checking her out. Chaney snickered. He was a charmer. She knew in a few years, he’d have all the girls his age going crazy.
“You hungry?”
“Oop!” Chaney looked at Kaleela with expanded orbs, her mouth lowered. “Is he about to ask me out on a date?”
“Please.” Kaleela tapped Rell’s hip before he stood. “We have plenty of food. He’s about to raid the kitchen. That’s as far as that date will go.”
“Mama Kaleela, this could be my future girlfriend.” Chaney tucked her lips, suppressing a smile as Travis checked her out. “Give me like ten years.”
“She’d still be ten years older than you,” Kaleela chimed in. “Take Rell, and you both go wash your hands. When you’re done, meet me in the kitchen.”
“Do I have to? What if your friend leaves? She just got here,” Rell whined. “I want to show her all my toys.” He looked at her. “You do like toys, right?”
She gently rubbed her hand across his hair.
“Of course I do.”
“Great, when we eat and clean up, let’s play. I have…” Rell rambled on and on about all the games she’d not only purchased but also Shonasia, and even Scooter.
“Okay, okay.” Kaleela tittered. “Let her breathe. She’ll be here when you come back.” They both took off until she called out their name. “We walk inside. We don’t run.”
“Yes, ma’am,” they replied in unison.
Her heart smiled. She’d gotten better at implementing some form of authority. It had been rough at first as she fumbled her way through her new role, where she became everything to two little people who had no one. She looked up, and there Chaney stood, smiling.
“You look good, Kaleela. Really good.” Chaney smiled, her bottom lip pushed out.
“Nah, bitch.” Kaleela pursed her lips, a smile threatening to form. “Keep all that. New niggas in town, and it damn sure ain’t you.”
“Do tell.” She took a seat on the nearest sofa, eager to hear anything to take her mind off Donovan. “I need something, anything. Who is she?”
Kaleela gave her a cheeky grin.
“You mean he,” Kaleela revealed.
She didn’t want to hide anymore, and she had no reason to. Their ship had sailed, and while she did love her, she knew it wasn’t a healthy love, if it was even love at all.
Chaney silently screamed, her mouth wide open. She knew Kaleela had to be kidding, but when she didn’t retract, she fell back on the sofa and giggled.
“Bitch! I need all the tea.”
“I’ll think about it.” She wasn’t sure what information she could trust Chaney with but she did feel the smile that crept on her face at the thought of Scooter.
“So, you’re Mama Kaleela’s friend?” Rell probed as they placed cookie dough on the tray.
She looked over at Kaleela, watching her and Travis as they cleared the table and placed dirty dishes into the dishwasher.
They had something quick, tacos. The boys wanted it, and, instantly, tears crowded her eyes.
She hadn’t been able to breathe since she overheard Sashay talking to and about Donovan in the Mexican restaurant.
“I am.”
It was almost a whisper. She hoped they were, as they spent time mostly ignoring the elephant in the room.
It was hard, but needed, since they were both present and very inquisitive.
Although her heart still ached, having them to distract her was a gift she never expected, especially where her ex was concerned.
“How come we just meeting you?” Travis asked with slitted eyes. “We try to give her her ‘me’ time. That’s what Auntie Shona says she needs, but when we are with her, she makes us work. Doesn’t that mean we need some ‘me’ time too if all she’s doing is watching us?”
“You get ‘me’ time each time you enjoy the comfort of your bedroom, all your toys, and unlimited free snacks my money pays for?”
“That doesn’t sound like ‘me’ time?” Travis mumbled while Rell snickered.
“Let me call Shona and—” He quickly dashed in her direction and wrapped his arms around her. “Un huh. That’s what I thought.”
Rell yawned. He’d been trying to stay up, hoping he didn’t miss the fun.
They’d play Connect Four, Chutes and Ladders, and Sorry.
Chaney grew emotional as she played, remembering when she, Kaleela, and Reagan would sit around and play board games and cards.
By the third win on Connect Four, she couldn’t wait to get in on the other games as they all pouted and whined, even Kaleela.
“Mama Kaleela, I love you, but I’m going to bed.” Travis hopped on the chair next to Chaney like they were on a Netflix and Chill date until Kaleela cleared her throat.
“Fine,” he muttered.
“I love you, too,” Rell spoke, squeezing in between them.
“I love both of y’all.” She tapped each cheek and grinned before they kissed her on each side. “I’ll be there in a few to tuck you in, but go brush your teeth.”
Off they went. She smiled as they dragged their feet, and she watched them until she couldn’t see them anymore.
She knew before she made it to their room that, more than likely, sleep would have found them.
When she sat back, there was Chaney, staring, a faint grin on her face.
She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.
“It’s getting late,” Kaleela offered. “And I need to sweep and mop.”
“I could help.” She stood, heading to the kitchen, when Kaleela called out her name. She stopped, but she didn’t turn around. “I don’t want to be alone,” she confessed.
Kaleela pushed out a snort. If Chaney thought she was there to wipe away her tears, tears she’d caused, she had another think coming.
She cried for days, all day, to the point her days blended into nights.
Escaping a prison sentence still didn’t make her feel free, not even AA.
Shawn made it better, but it was a daily battle.
She’d be damned if she allowed her ex to detour her.
The only solution in her eyes was to send Chaney on her damn way.
“Being alone is physical but mostly mental, Chaney. I ain’t sure what’s going on, and keeping it real, it’s not for me to know.
Shit happens. It happened to us all the time.
I apologize for the role I played. It may not be enough to right my wrongs, but it has to be enough because ain’t shit else coming. ”
“What happened to us, to me?” she asked, turning around.
“I happened to us, and you let me. Never idolize a bitch on two feet.” She laughed, realizing she didn’t stand on two feet, but the message was the same.
“I was fucked up, still fucked up in some ways. It’s a process when I wake up each day and still want to drink, but I know one thing.
I haven’t picked up since the day I shot at Donovan. ”
Chaney’s eyes misted, yet she quietly stood there.
“Hell, seeing you makes me want to drink. We did that shit a lot. You thought it was for fun, part of our usual routine, but I knew differently. It was to numb all the fucking pain I felt. I had these streets on lock, niggas bowing down at my name being mentioned before I entered rooms, and I still had no peace, Chaney. No fucking peace.”
“Even when you were with me?”
“Especially when I was with you. I did to you what bitches did to me as a child who just wanted to be loved,” she admitted.
“I made you pay for their fucking sins because wanting to be loved got me sitting here, trying to figure out why I even let you in. I’m done feeling sorry for myself, and I’m done beating myself up for not knowing how to love you correctly.
I still can’t fucking love myself correctly, but for once in my life, I’m trying.
I have to for me, and I have to for the person that’s trying to love me. ”
Kaleela’s cellphone rang, probably the first time all evening. She blinked, her chest heaving as a lone tear hit her cheek. It wasn’t until it stopped and rang again that she realized it was her cellphone that was ringing.
“Maybe you should get that. It’s kind of late. Could be an emergency.” Kaleela couldn’t imagine who would call her about an emergency unless it was her sister or about her sister. She sighed and headed to the living room, frowning. It was Shonasia.
“Yeah?” She cleared her throat. Her eyes stretched then grew into slits as Shonasia rattled off in her ear.
“Look, I should leave.” Chaney grew nervous when she saw Kaleela growing frustrated. Her forehead creased, her lips pursed.
“Okay, okay. I’m barely on that shit,” she replied to Shonasia, rubbing her forehead. “Probably some fucking groupie, Shona. I can’t deal for real.” The mention of a groupie caught Chaney’s attention. “I’ll look. Calm the hell down. Yeah, I know.”
Chaney couldn’t stand it, quickly taking a seat next to her when Kaleela disconnected the call. “What did she say?”
“Damn, nosy.” Kaleela may have pretended she wasn’t concerned. She was more than that. She was scared. She waved Chaney off, who sat on the edge of her seat. “Fuck. Here it is.”
Kaleela sighed, then touched the link Shonasia sent to her cellphone.
It was a woman, but not a face she’d recognized.
What pulled her in was that she was at a concert.
She’d posted a few pictures, some alone and a few others with two other women, but when she slid to one that had a familiar face, she’d damn near dropped her cellphone.
It was Donovan. She picked it back up and clicked on the uploaded live with shaky hands.
“I know y’all see me! It’s your girl, Seritaaaaa,” the girl sang. “Front row seats so that nigga can see me. Scooter, baby, you made it! I love you! Y’all hoes could never!” Kaleela began to hyperventilate, her cellphone falling through her fingers on the floor.
“Kaleela, who the hell was that? Kaleela!” Chaney reached for her cellphone and picked it up, following the link. She was horrified, especially when she realized the man that Kaleela had to be dealing with was none other than Scooter himself.