39. Halle
CHAPTER 39
HALLE
I loathe Christmas shopping. It has absolutely nothing to do with my lack of budget and everything to do with how obnoxious people can be.
“What do you mean you don’t have this in a size nine?” the man in front of me complains. Again.
I just want to check out, and he’s having a meltdown trying to get shoes for his wife.
The poor girl at the register sighs. “You can order them online?—”
“But I need them now. I don’t have time for shipping and all that.” He waves a hand wildly, nearly taking me out in the process.
Thankfully, another cashier comes over and takes pity on me.
“I can check you out over here, ma’am.”
I set the boxes—sneakers for my brothers—on the counter with a grateful smile. When I asked them what they wanted for Christmas, they fought me. They’re old enough to understand that money is tight, and they don’t want to add to that burden. I could see it in their eyes. But they’re crazy if they think I’m not getting them Christmas gifts. After more than one argument, I proposed the idea of a want, need, wear, and read Christmas, and they were on board with that.
Though I separated them and had them each write out a list of a few items for each category so I’d have options, the items they chose were nearly identical except for the book section.
Both requested crochet supplies. It was the last thing I expected, but pretty adorable, even if I’ve yet to see any of the projects they’ve been working on.
When the cashier gives me the total, I try to hide the cringe that overtakes me. Even on sale, the shoes are pricey. I dig in my purse for my wallet, and as I pull my hand out again, a piece of paper slips out and flutters to the floor.
“Crap,” I mutter, bending over to pick it up.
With no recollection of what it is, I carefully open it.
Caleb’s writing is scrawled across the page, and dammit if my heart doesn’t beat a million times faster.
I can guarantee that I’m thinking about you right now .
Miss you.
—Caleb
I smile and tuck the note back into my purse. He’s been in Boston since about two days after I got sick. It took that long to convince him that I was fine. He’s working overtime to wrap up a couple of cases so he can spend several weeks at home over the holidays. I miss him more than seems possible. I don’t like being this lovesick girl, but I wouldn’t give it up if it meant losing Caleb.
Once I’ve checked out, I head to the bookstore and grab a comic book for Quinn and a fantasy for Casen.
Next is wrapping paper and a roll of tape, then I head back home to get this done.
I pull into Caleb’s driveway, and when I catch sight of the men working next door, my stomach dips in dread. I don’t want to go back there.
I’m so fucked.
Caleb’s coming home tonight.
I wish I could say I’m not excited, but it would be a lie.
All day, I’ve teased him, and it’s the most fun I’ve ever had.
Me: I can’t wait for you to bend me over your bed and fill me up with your hard cock.
Caleb: Halle.
I smile, figuring he’s probably sighing at his phone right about now.
Me: I’m so wet already. You won’t mind if I take care of myself while I wait, will you?
I snap a photo, a teasing taunt of my fingers slipping beneath the elastic of my leggings.
His text comes through seconds later.
Caleb: Don’t you dare touch yourself until I tell you.
I drop my head back and laugh. God, it’s so fun to rile him up. I’ve never experienced this kind of comfort with another person. A feeling of safety that allows me to play.
Me: But I really need to.
I’m actually at my desk, working, not in bed actually touching myself, but this is way more fun than a solo session—knowing he’s getting worked up and can’t do anything about it.
My phone rings, his name flashing on the screen. I send him to voicemail.
Caleb: ANSWER YOUR PHONE.
Caleb: So help me God, Halle. If you’re touching yourself right now, I will spank your ass raw when I get ahold of you.
Giggling, I kick my feet, causing my chair to roll. I’ve never been like this in my life, but Caleb makes me feel safe enough to feel happy and have fun. I’m not waiting for the other shoe to drop with him.
Me: I have to get back to work. My boss is kind of a hard-ass.
Caleb: I am your boss.
Me: I know.
Snickering to myself, I set my phone aside, fully planning to torture him more later. It’s too much fun not to.
At the sound of the front door opening, I turn to check the clock. After dinner, the boys asked if they could stay with Cynthia and Thelma tonight. I okayed it with the neighbor ladies first, and the twins left while I cleaned up. When I was alone, I took my time showering, then crawled into bed, knowing Caleb would be late.
Thunderous steps sound on the stairs, making my heart rate pick up.
Oh .
The door flies open, banging against the wall, startling me.
“Caleb?” I squeak as he enters the room. I shut my laptop and sit up, the move causing my loose t-shirt to fall over my shoulder. Caleb may have purchased the garment for himself, but it’s mine now.
He shuts the bedroom door behind him and locks it. “Where are your brothers?” He undoes his tie with a violent yank. The intensity radiating off him has me scooting back.
Not in fear, but in anticipation.
I wet my lips. “They’re with Cynthia and Thelma.”
The tie drops to the floor. “For how long?” he asks as he works the top button of his crisp work shirt.
“They’re spending the night. Caleb?—”
“Good.” He drops the shirt near the tie and leans forward, wrapping one hand around my ankle and pulling me down the bed.
I squeal as the shirt bunches beneath me. I’m not wearing a bra beneath. Only underwear.
“You thought you could tease me at work all fucking day, and I wasn’t going to punish you for it?” His eyes flash with heat. “Do you like knowing I was stuck at my desk all fucking day because I was so hard? I couldn’t even get up and get a glass of water.”
I giggle. “Oh, that’s what this is about?”
“Oh,” he mocks, yanking off his belt. “You wanted this, huh?”
Excitement burns in my veins.
The metal buckle clinks as he drops the belt to the mattress. Then, before I know what’s happening, he’s got me flipped over so I’m on all fours.
He yanks my arms behind my back, and I cry out in surprise.
Oh my God . He’s tying my wrists with his belt.
Heat floods my body as he secures them over my head. This act alone is going to leave me soaked.
Holy fuck.
He rubs the curves of my ass over my cotton boy short underwear, pulling a moan from me. The sound quickly turns into a sharp cry when he delivers a smack to each cheek.
“Caleb,” I whimper, the side of my face pressed into the mattress.
My heart accelerates when he backs away. I can’t see him, but his warmth has disappeared. I try to wiggle around, but before I can, he’s there again, delivering another smack.
I huff, pushing back, because although my ass stings, I’m only more desperate and aching for his touch .
“So fucking naughty,” he croons. He pulls my underwear down and off and massages my bare cheeks. “Taunting me all fucking day. I bet you sat in my office laughing at me, didn’t you?”
“Only a little,” I admit.
He chuckles, the sound dark and promising. “You’re gonna regret that, pretty girl.”
I wiggle in anticipation.
Deep down, I knew this side of Caleb existed, just waiting to be unleashed, and I’m glad I’m the one he feels safe letting his walls down with.
“I don’t think I will.”
Rather than respond with words, he startles the hell out of me by slamming inside me, burying his cock deep and grinding his hips against my ass. Thank God I’m already soaked.
“Holy fuck,” I curse, my body going limp.
“Such.” Smack. “A.” Smack. “Tease.” Smack. “Fuck,” he curses lowly. “You like this, don’t you?” He curls his body over mine. “You get even wetter each time I swat your gorgeous ass.” He grips my chin, forcing me to turn and look at him. “My naughty girl.”
“Yes,” I gasp out.
The press of his body over mine as he drills into me is almost too much to take. I’ve never been fucked like this in my life. He’s powerful, all-consuming. He’s in complete control. His movements are rough, but every now and then I’ll feel a gentle caress of his fingers over my hips or the curve of my breasts, as if he wants to remind me that, while this is the definition of fucking, he still loves me .
If I voiced even a moment of hesitancy over his roughness, he would stop. I have no doubt. But I don’t want him to. I like him like this—unleashed and losing his ever-loving mind because of me .
I’m teetering on that delicious edge when he pulls out of me, taking the sensation with him. I cry out in annoyance as he flips me onto my back and cups my cheek roughly.
“Doesn’t feel good to be edged, now, does it?” He taunts, licking his lips. “How long do you think I should make you suffer before I finally let you come?”
I whimper, my breathing shallow. “I don’t know.”
He lowers himself, his body heavy on mine, his lips finding my ear. “You made me suffer for hours , Halle. Should I make you beg for it?”
Yes .
It’s wild, how quickly the word forms in my mind, how easily the excitement swarms in my belly.
“Touch yourself,” he demands.
I yank on my restraints with a pained cry.
He grins wickedly. “Oh, wait, you can’t.”
With a light, teasing touch, he plays with my clit.
I gasp, back arching.
The move makes his smile grow. Then his fingers are gone. He’s enjoying torturing me way too much.
I’m delirious with pent-up need when he slips his fingers inside me and curls them, once again bringing me to the edge.
When I’m sure I’ll tumble over it, his touch vanishes and so does the feeling .
“Caleb!” I squeeze my legs together, desperate for friction.
He pushes my knees apart with firm hands. “Nice try, baby.”
Eyes narrowed, I stare him down. “You’re being mean.”
With a hint of a smile dancing on his lips, he arches a brow. “So were you.”
A bubble of laughter that seems totally out of place rises up and escapes me. Fuck, I can’t help it. “It’s fun messing with you.”
He tilts his head to the side. “Worth the consequences?” With a little caress, he lets go of one of my thighs and wraps a firm hand around his dick. He strokes roughly, his focus never leaving my face.
I’m rapt, unable to look away from the way he touches himself.
“Want a taste?” he taunts.
My heart stutters. “Yes.”
He helps me to my knees, easing my arms down so they’re secured in front of me, and I kneel in front of him. It’s vulnerable—the position and the inability to use my hands—but I know I’m safe with him.
He rubs a gentle finger over my chin. The sensation is in complete juxtaposition with his words when he grits out, “Suck it.”
Without hesitation, I lean forward, taking him into my mouth. Instantly, the taste of the two of us bursts on my tongue, pulling a moan from deep within me. I’d give just about anything to touch myself right now, but I don’t dare ask him to untie me. I already know what the answer will be.
I work my mouth over his length. Licking and sucking.
Every time I peer up at him, he’s watching me with approval in his eyes, the blue of his irises nearly swallowed by his pupils.
Delving his fingers into my hair, he holds it back from my face.
Such a gentleman, even when he’s destroying me.
When he pulls back, I mewl in protest. But when he picks me up, guiding my legs around his waist, I can’t help but grind against him.
He lays me back down on the bed, and between one blink and the next, he’s sheathed himself inside me.
“Oh my God,” I cry out, pinching my eyes shut.
“Look at me,” he commands with a roll of his hips. “Don’t you dare close your fucking eyes.”
I peel my eyes open, and God, am I glad that I do. The way he looks at me makes me feel alive .
He shoves my shirt up and over my breasts, wetting his lips as he takes me in.
In this moment, I may be the one tied up, but I feel powerful. In charge. I can bring this man to his knees .
The sound I make when he drags me to the edge and back again this time is a cross between a cry, a scream, and a moan. I’m frustrated, but I can’t deny that I like the torture.
He grins down at me, rubbing the tip of his cock against my clit.
“Look at you,” he croons. “You want this, don’t you? You like it when I push you to the edge, then force you back. You like it when I taunt you. Don’t worry, baby, it’ll be so worth it when you finally come.”
I whimper, digging my teeth into my bottom lip. My body feels like one giant live wire. All it needs is a spark to ignite it, and that spark is Caleb.
He spreads my legs wide and kneels between them, then places a gentle kiss to my clit.
A groan of pent-up fury rips out of me.
I need to come. My body is begging for it.
“Caleb.”
“Shh,” he hushes, rubbing his finger lazily around and around my clit. “Let me enjoy this.”
Finally , he puts his mouth on me, and my back bows off the bed. My wrists strain against the belt. I want to touch him. Need to touch him.
He licks and sucks, driving me wild in the way only he can.
I’m so close to coming. Closer than I’ve been since this started. For an instant, I’m certain he’ll let me come this time.
But I’m so, so wrong.
Just when I start to fall, he pulls me back again but?—
I go from empty, hollow, to fuller than I’ve ever felt in the space of one heartbeat.
“Caleb!” I scream his name so loud I fear the neighbors might hear. I should be embarrassed, but I’m too wound up. “I’m coming. I’m coming. I’m coming.”
My words turn into a nonsensical chant as I lose touch with reality, my vision going spotty. Flashes of black and white against my closed lids.
The orgasm lasts for an incomprehensible amount of time. It could be a few seconds, it could be a lifetime.
“Holy fuck,” he curses, keeping up his rhythm. “Your pussy is still squeezing the fuck out of my cock. Are you still coming?”
I can’t answer him, because yes, I think I am.
“Fuck, baby,” He pulls out of me in one rough move. That alone causes another, smaller orgasm to roll through me. He pumps his cock, and thick spurts of come shoot out, covering my abdomen. “So fucking hot,” he pants. “So fucking mine .”
He stares at me like I’m a masterpiece of his own creation. We’re coated in sweat, panting wildly. He angles over me and unbinds my wrists, rubbing the raw skin from where I kept pulling against the belt.
“Are you okay?” he asks as he straightens.
I still haven’t regained my composure, but I manage a tiny nod and a mumbled “yes.”
“Good.”
He picks me up, and I go limp in his arms. Every muscle is spent. He starts the shower and washes us both before dressing me in yet another one of his shirts.
“No panties,” he warns when I reach for a pair.
My strength is slowly returning, but my brain is still fuzzy.
He tugs on a pair of boxer briefs and takes my hand, encouraging me to follow him downstairs to the kitchen.
“Hungry?” he asks, peeking into the pantry .
“Starving.” How could I not be after all the energy I just used?
He pulls out a box of pasta and sets it on the counter, then plucks a lemon from the fruit bowl on the island and parmesan from the fridge. He sets a pot of water to boil before he turns my way with an arched brow.
“You okay?” he asks.
This man just fucked my brains out, and now he’s standing here, all hot and sexy, cooking for me, and he worries that I’m not okay? Of course I’m not okay. I want to drag him to the floor and ride him right here.
“Just peachy,” I tease.
He smirks like he knows exactly what I’m thinking. Who am I kidding? He probably does. Caleb seems to have a sixth sense for these kinds of things.
“What are you making?”
“Pasta.” He grins, setting out two bowls and the strainer.
With a roll of my eyes, I prop my elbow on the counter and put my chin in my hand. “I gathered that, but what kind?”
“Bow tie.” His smirk grows. He’s having fun annoying me.
“ Caleb. ”
“It’s nothing special.” He turns to add the pasta to the boiling water. “Just a little olive oil, pasta water, and parmesan to make a sauce for the pasta. You’ll see.”
I squint at him, doubtful, but sit quietly while he prepares the meal.
When he sets a bowl in front of me, I dig in .
“Simple, my ass,” I gripe. “This is delicious.”
He laughs, pulling out the chair beside mine. “Glad you like it.”
I devour the meal like I’m scared he might snatch it back. I ate about two hours before he arrived, but I’m pretty sure I burned all those calories off upstairs.
The Christmas tree in the corner is lit, putting off a soft glow. As I survey it, I smile. My brothers helped us pick it out, and then Seda joined us when we decorated. We ended the day with homemade hot chocolate far more delicious than I thought possible.
For a moment, I’m lost in my happiness.
I don’t want things to change.
I’m happy. Just like this. What difference does it make to anyone else what I choose to do with my life? I can’t live my life on some perfectly laid-out timeline. It’s time to do the things that feel right.
“Caleb?” I prompt softly. Nervousness creeping into my voice.
His fork stills against his bowl. “Yeah?”
“Did you mean what you said in the hospital? About marrying me? That you’d have found a chaplain and done it there?”
“Yes.” He arches a brow. “What are you getting at?”
I swallow past my nerves and clasp my trembling hands in my lap. “Let’s do that.”
Eyes narrowed in confusion, he studies my face. “Do what? Go back to the hospital?”
“No.” I shake my head .
He’s giving me an out. He’s too smart to not know what I’m getting at. But I am sure.
“Let’s get married,” I breathe. “I love you. You make me happier than I’ve ever been, and I’m tired of always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Of thinking I’m not worthy of being happy. Of being loved by someone like you.” Tears prick at the backs of my eyes. “I want to choose you. I want you to choose me. I want to know every day that you’re not just the man I love but my husband. My partner. My?—”
He’s off the stool, hands on my cheeks, his mouth slanting over mine, before I can finish.
“Yes,” he murmurs. “God, yes.” He nips my bottom lip. “I would’ve married you the day I met you.”
I laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”
He pulls back just enough to lock eyes with me as he shakes his head. “No, Halle. I knew from the moment I saw you that you were going to change my life. It was like the universe finally gave me everything I’d been begging for. When I saw you, I knew you were meant for me. I just hoped I was meant for you too.”
Fuck. This man.
A single tear tracks down my cheek.
He cups my jaw, pressing his forehead to mine. “We’re going to have a great life, Halle. I’ll take care of your heart.”
My chest squeezes in response to his promise. I know he will.