43. Halle
CHAPTER 43
HALLE
“ O pen your eyes,” I scream, patting Caleb’s cheek. When that does no good, I do it again, a little harder this time. “Caleb! Don’t you dare do this to me,” I sob, my whole body shaking. “Wake up. Please, wake up.”
The world around us is a blur. I have no idea what’s happening with my mom, whether my brothers are safe, any of it. All I can focus on is the man I love bleeding out right in front of me.
I press my hands to the wound in his abdomen and put pressure on it. I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do, but it seems like a good idea.
Thayer is on his knees beside me, probing Caleb’s neck with two fingers. “There’s a pulse.”
“Where’s the ambulance?” I scream.
I heard sirens in the distance before the shot even rang out, so help has to be on the way, right? Where are they? Caleb needs help now.
Across from me, Laith is hovering over Caleb too, his skin leached of all color.
“Caleb, can you hear me?” I give his cheek another tap. “I’m right here. Stay with me. Help is coming. I love you. I love you so much, and this is just our beginning.”
I refuse to believe it’s also our end.
It feels like hours pass before Thayer is pulling me away to make room for the paramedics.
“Let me go,” I fight against him. “He’s my husband. I have to stay with him. I need to hold him!”
“Shh,” he hushes. “You have to let them help him.”
Somewhere, in the logical part of my brain, I know that. I’ve been waiting for them, cursing their slowness. But I can’t stand the idea of being apart from him.
“Caleb,” I sob as they cut away his shirt, revealing the wound beneath and all the blood.
God, there’s so much of it.
Red and vibrant and everywhere, staining Caleb’s white dress shirt and pooling on the floor beneath him.
“I’m going to throw up,” I blurt.
Rather than let me go, Thayer scoops me up like I weigh nothing and carries me to a trashcan. We’ve barely made it before I empty the contents of my stomach.
His fingers are gentle on my neck as he holds my hair back, but I recoil at the touch.
I want Caleb.
Thayer doesn’t react to my flinch, and he doesn’t let go of my hair until I’ve finished.
When there’s nothing left to purge, I straighten, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. When I turn and take in the room, I find that it’s emptied of everyone but us and the paramedics and Caleb.
Another sob tears out of me.
The man who’s taken over my world, who’s larger than life, who’s always there to make things better, looks so broken. They’ve moved him onto a gurney and strapped an oxygen mask to his face.
I find Thayer’s hand and grip it hard, needing the hold to keep me from crumpling to the ground.
“He has to be okay,” I whisper. My voice seems to have left me.
“He will be,” Thayer says. “He’s tough.”
As they wheel him to the door, I run after them.
“Let me come with you. He’s my husband. Please. I need to be with him.”
One of the paramedics gives me a gentle nudge out of the way. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” he says, his expression full of genuine apology, “but in the condition he’s in, we need the space to work.”
“No!” I shriek, running after them. “Please, let me go!”
Outside the rec center, the cold air hits me like a slap to the face, causing my steps to falter.
That’s all it takes for the paramedics to get ahead of me. Before I can catch up, they’ve got Caleb loaded and they’re closing the doors.
“No!” My knees give out, but before they can collide with the concrete, Thayer’s there again, scooping me up.
The world around me blurs. Thelma speaks to Thayer. Something about taking all the kids. Then I’m put into a minivan with Thayer, Salem, and Laith.
I shake uncontrollably in the back seat. Up front, Salem looks back every few seconds, tears in her eyes and lips turned down like she’s scared I’ll completely fall apart. Laith looks downright sick at my side.
Salem and Thayer talk as Thayer drives, but I’m too out of sorts to make out their words.
“Shouldn’t we be at the hospital by now?” I ask after what feels like an eternity.
“They’re taking him straight to the bigger hospital thirty minutes away,” Thayer answers, glancing at me in the rearview mirror.
That makes my tears come harder and faster.
“My b-brothers?” I stutter. “Are they okay? They’re okay, right?”
Fuck, it’s only now occurring to me to think about them. I’m a horrible sister. I was too caught up in Caleb’s injury to think about them.
“They’re fine,” Salem answers. “Shaken up, but fine.”
I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly freezing, my whole body shaking and my teeth chattering uncontrollably.
I nod woodenly. They’re fine. They’re okay. That’s all that matters. But Caleb…
A sob rips out of me.
I’ve always prided myself on being strong. On holding steady during difficult situations. But nothing could have prepared me for seeing the person I love most shot right in front of me. Especially knowing that shot was meant for me.
And the shooter was my own mother…
I can’t think about it right now. How she got out, how she made her way there, what she was thinking… it’s all too much for me to handle.
By the time we arrive at the hospital, I’ve detached from my body. Like my consciousness is floating outside my form and I’m viewing the scene like I’m watching on TV.
My body moves woodenly through the sliding doors into the lobby of the ER. Laith stays by my side while Thayer strides straight to the desk. He gestures to me, and when he says wife , another sob escapes me.
We’re supposed to be celebrating our wedding. It’s supposed to be the happiest day of our lives.
When I hear the woman mention surgery , I nearly crumble to the floor. Only Laith’s arms around me keep me upright.
I hate this. I hate this. I hate this .
My breaths come in sporadic pants.
Is this what a panic attack feels like?
Laith drags me over to a chair. “Breathe,” he commands, hands on my cheeks. “I need you to breathe, Halle.”
Unshed tears burn my eyes. “Am I going to lose him?”
I’ve finally found the one person I feel safe with, that I can open up to, who sees all my flaws and loves me anyway, and now I could lose him. Did I do something in another life that’s left me undeserving of even an ounce of genuine happiness?
Laith presses his lips together. “I don’t know.”
Though I’m grateful that he’s not sugarcoating the truth, I hate his answer.
Thayer joins us with Salem in tow. Her face is red and splotchy, and stress lines bracket her mouth.
“Hey,” she says softly, sitting in the empty chair to my left. “Come here.”
She’s not much older than I am, but the maternal way she speaks has me diving into her arms for comfort.
I’ve always prided myself on standing on my own, on not needing anyone, but I’ve come to realize there’s much more strength to be had in finding people I can trust to shoulder some of my burdens.
Salem holds me, letting me cry on her shoulder.
“I’m so scared.” The words come out broken. “I can’t lose him.”
“I know.” She rubs my back. “I know.”
Thayer steps away, his phone to his ear.
“M-My mom,” I croak out. “What happened to her?”
Salem exhales a shaky breath. Every person we care about has to be traumatized. Talk about a horrifying situation. All because my mom has well and truly lost her mind.
“She put down the gun and went with the cops willingly.”
“All this because she thought I ratted her out.” Another sob rips out of me. “Am I going to lose him because of her selfishness?”
Salem touches my cheek, gently wiping my tears away. “Caleb is one of the toughest people I know. I don’t think he’s going anywhere.”
“I can’t lose him. I just… I can’t.”
“It’s all going to be okay,” she says, wrapping her arms around me once more.
When Thayer turns around, still on the phone, his face drawn and his eyes bloodshot, I’m not so sure.