Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
GHOST
The Code: Rule #20
Love is a useless emotion. It must be carved out, or it will get you killed.
The next day, Brett, Orion, and I do our usual breakfast routine—although, this time, Orion and Brett insist on frozen egg and sausage breakfast sandwiches. When I tried to remind them I still hadn’t replaced the microwave, Orion got this shit-eating grin on his face and raced into the living room before returning with a brand-new one, still in the box.
I may have huffed and puffed while eating greasy croissant-and-mystery-meat sandwiches, but when I saw the grin on Brett’s face, I started to enjoy them. I’m starting to realize it doesn’t matter what we’re doing. As long as it’s with her, I’m happy.
Happy… is that really what I am?
I shake my head, closing the romance book and glancing up at Brett. She’s so engrossed with the story that she hasn’t noticed I’m looking at her. Orion left shortly after we finished our meal this morning, so it’s just the two of us in the library—in the house.
Except for the two fluff balls curled around Brett’s feet and lap. I reach my hand out, curling my fingers at Rupert to try to entice him with some scratches. He opens his eyes for half a second before sighing, shifting his head farther onto Brett’s feet.
Honestly, I can't blame the boy. I’d choose her over me any day, too.
“What are you thinking about?”
I look up at Brett’s midnight eyes shining playfully, a small smirk twisting her pretty pink lips. Such soft, kissable lips. Lips I want to kiss, to wrap around my cock.
I shake the last thought away. I’ve had her so many times today alone, and I don’t know how much more her pussy can take. A small amount of blood covered my cock the last time I was finished with her, and it wasn’t because of her period. Brett said it was a small tear . Though it barely calmed me down, I was relieved of some of the guilt when she told me it’s a common occurrence, especially for women who have rough sex as often as we have been.
Brett snaps her book closed, breaking me out of my thoughts and reminding me I never answered her question. “I’m sorry. What did you ask, darling?”
Brett’s cheeks heat the slightest hint of pink, and she gets up from her armchair and glides over to me. My heart squeezes as she plops her perfect soft ass into my lap, and I have to physically hold back my groan when she rubs against my cock.
“Fuck, you’re going to kill me,” I murmur, wrapping my arm around her waist and squeezing her to my chest. “What did I do for this honor?”
“Just thought I could be more persuasive from this position,” she coos, wriggling intentionally against my hardening cock. “What were you thinking about a moment ago?”
“Honestly? Fuck if I know,” I groan, leaning my head back as she runs a single finger down my chest. “I think your plan is backfiring.”
“Maybe.” She grins devilishly, dipping that finger into my waistband. “Unless that wasn’t my real mission.”
“Darling, as much as I’m dying to fill you again, you need to rest.” She gives me a pout, and I squeeze her ass hard until it drops. “Good girl. As I was saying, you need to rest, or it will only get worse.”
“You’re no fun,” she groans, crossing her arms.
“I promise I’ll make it up to you. I even bought a new toy for you.”
This brightens her disposition. She bats her lashes, shifting her chest into me with a newfound confidence. “Really? What kind?”
“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” I murmur, then lift my mask and place a lingering kiss on her soft lips. “Come with me. I want to show you something.”
Brett raises her brows but still hops from my lap and follows me out of the library. If I’m honest, I should have done this long ago. But I was worried—worried it would change how she felt about me. Worried she would never come to care for me the way she seems to. Worried she would never trust me.
But the more I’ve thought about it these past few weeks, the more I realize hiding this from her is more detrimental than showing her ever could be. After all, the thing I’m about to give her belongs to her. I’ve only been its guardian. It was always meant to be in Brett’s possession.
We stalk through the hall, and I stop at the wall just to the left of the entrance to the bedroom. I place my wrist on the stone just below my knee, and a smaller, secret compartment creaks open. Brett’s gasp fills the space, but I can barely hear it because of the blood rushing in my ears.
This is it. I’m finally going to do it.
I swallow hard as I stand, the faded leather notebook a thousand pounds in my hand. I dust off the front of it, too scared to look at Brett’s expression—too frightened to answer the questions she will have.
Questions about my kind—about me.
Because in this little notebook are the details of every horrible thing the Sanctum has done. Every vile, demented act is described in excruciating detail. And not just that, but warnings. To never trust my kind—to never, ever fall for one.
In my hands is Brett’s mother’s notebook. It was entrusted to me by my former master thirteen years ago and has been in my care ever since. But now… now I must return it to its rightful owner. She deserves it. Deserves the closure, the facts. More th an anything, she deserves to know about me , about what I’ve done. And after she knows everything, she can make her decision. To hate me—like she should—or to trust me.
My hand shakes ever so slightly as I place the book into Brett’s palm, closing her slim fingers around it. “This is yours,” I whisper. “I… it should have been given to you from the start. But I couldn’t—” I swallow the cracked word, unable to look away no matter how much I want to. “I’m sorry I couldn’t give it to you. I was worried you would never…”
“Is this what I think it is?” Brett whispers, running a finger over the cracked leather. “How did you… why do you have this?”
My heart cracks at the hint of betrayal growing in Brett’s gaze, but I can’t stop. She has to know. “It was entrusted to me many years ago. My old master—Maverick—he knew your mother. He cared for her, though he couldn’t stop what they did to her. He saved this, knowing it could be used to bring down the organization someday.”
“Did he—did he kill her?” Brett asks, tears welling in her beautiful blues. “Is he the one who tortured her—” Her voice cracks, and her head falls.
“No, darling,” I murmur, wishing I could take away all this pain. “No. It was—it’ll be easier to understand if you read it.” I gesture to the notebook in her tiny white hand. “I’m so sorry, Brett.”
“For what?” she whispers, her whole body starting to shake. “For demanding I trust you, all the while you were hiding this from me?” She holds up the book, her mouth pulled down in a frown. “ How am I supposed to do that now? You’ve been lying to me!”
“I had to?—”
“You didn’t have to do anything,” she snaps, her glare faltering as she takes in my dejected expression. She pulls up her hand, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You know, trust is kind of a two-way street here. If you had the same courtesy for me, you would have shown me this.” She shakes her head, those tears falling freely. “This is my mom. I haven’t had anything— anything to remember her by. And after the hundreds of times I’ve asked you for information, you have been sitting on this! How am I supposed to feel about that?”
“I was trying to keep you safe!” I raise my voice, causing Brett to flinch. Guilt thrums through my veins at the frightened look in her eyes, and for the first time since I’ve seen it, it brings me no joy. “I was only protecting you.”
“I don’t need protection!” she yells, throwing her hands in the air. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a fucking federal agent! I’ve been taking care of myself since I was thirteen, and doing a damn good job of it, too! You can’t keep me locked away like this forever, Ghost. There will always be dangers—that’s fucking life for you. But to do this—to intentionally keep me in the dark—it’s like you think I’m some kind of helpless child.”
“That’s not—” The words die in my throat at the look on her face. Somewhere deep down, I know her words hold truth. I have been keeping her in the dark for fears of my own that had nothing to do with her or her actions. I just can’t help it. I’m so scared something will take her away from me that I’ve been playing fate. Controlling everything down to the last-minute detail, keeping her happy, ignorant, and pliable in the palm of my hand.
Only, I forgot Brett is not so easily controlled. You can’t catch a hurricane in a jar any easier than you can make her do what you want. I’ve been so content playing a fantasy with her that I’ve forgotten who Brett is at her core. A conniving, intelligent, natural disaster of a woman.
“Brett, I’m sorry,” I say, reaching out to her face. She lets me touch her, but the softness I'm used to seeing in her eyes is no longer there. “Please, tell me what to do to make it better.”
“Ghost—” She stops to wipe a tear away angrily. “Everything is okay. I’m just—I need to process this. I’m mad at you, yes… but I’m mostly just emotional about this.” She holds up the notebook, unable to look at it. “Would it be okay if I had a little time alone to read it over?”
I nod, a million tons lifting from my chest as she presses on the balls of her feet to kiss my mask. “Thank you,” she whispers, giving me a sad smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.
It kills me to watch her walk away from me toward the bedroom, knowing I won’t be joining her this time. The only thing that makes me feel better is the fact she said everything was okay—meaning we’re still okay.
I sigh, my shoulders slumping as I walk to the front door and press my wrist to the wall. I’ll give her some space. Hopefully, by the time I come back, she’ll have forgiven me a little.
It’s all I can pray for at this point.