Chapter 5
I wanted to call Devyn as soon as I left the building, but I waited until I was home and showered. I barely let her greet me before I began my rant.
“The nerve of that asshole. He thinks everything is sweet because a lil time passed. Tuh! I think not.”
“Sis, take a breath and start from the beginning.”
“Today was a lot.”
“I’m sure it was. When you didn’t respond to my texts, I figured you were either busy or wanted to wait until you got home to update me.”
“I got there about thirty minutes before everyone else, and he didn’t waste a second.”
“What do you mean?”
For the next fifteen minutes, I shared with Devyn the interactions I had with Phyre. I was already annoyed by his behavior today, but as I shared the details with my best friend, I became angry.
“Like, how dare he think he could just say a few words and everything would be cool. No, nigga! That’s not how this works, and this ain’t what that is. He broke my heart into so many pieces that it’s been impossible to put it back together. His little apology and puppy dog eyes won’t fix this.”
I began to cry, and it pissed me off because I promised myself years ago that I wouldn’t shed another tear over Phyre.
“Oh, Nae. Don’t cry.”
“I’m not trying to cry. I’m actually pissed that I’m letting him get to me like this.”
“Why do you think this is making you so emotional?”
“I don’t know.”
“You think it’s because you still have feelings for him?”
I gasped. “Hell no! Why would you suggest something like that?”
“It was just a thought. Maybe you should see if they can find someone else for this assignment.”
“And give him the satisfaction of knowing he got to me? Absolutely not. If he would just let me do my job and only talk to me about work-related things, I’ll be fine.”
“I doubt that’ll happen. Maybe you should hear him out and determine how you’ll move forward from there.”
I shook my head profusely. “I don’t want to hear him out. I already know how the story ends, and I don’t want to hear about his happy family.”
“Maybe he’s not happy.”
“Well, if he’s not, it serves his ass right.”
“Ginae, when I say this, I’m saying it with all the love and positive intentions in the world.”
I rolled my eyes because I knew she was about to say something I didn’t want to hear.
“Oh God. What is it?”
“I know you thought you closed this chapter of your life, but I think you still have some unfinished business. You got some shit you need to get off your chest, and so does Phyre. Maybe if you say what’s on your heart and mind, and allow him to do the same, you can both move on and not worry about working in a hostile work environment every day. ”
“I don’t agree.”
“Just think about it. If today is any indication of how things will be, these six months will feel like a year . . . a long, horrible year.”
Deep down, I knew Devyn was right, but I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to handle whatever Phyre had to say.
“But—”
“No, Ginae. Last night, you said it was time for you to face your fear. Woman up and show that man you ain’t no weak ass bitch.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Do you need me to come there for moral support?”
“I love and appreciate you, friend, but you have a family to tend to. I’ll figure it out, and I’ll be fine.”
“Tariq would understand.”
“I know he would, but I’m okay,” I assured her. “I’ll see you next month as planned.”
“Fine. Let’s slightly change the subject. Besides Phyre, how is the rest of the staff?”
“I was surprised by the all-Black staff and one male nurse.”
“Okay, Phyre, being progressive and shit.”
“Yeah. He used to talk about opening his own office and only hiring Black people. At the time, he was leaning more towards being a pediatrician, but an all-Black staff in any area of medicine is pretty dope.”
“Hell yeah.”
“I’ve worked with a few male nurses over the years, but none were Black, so this is a first. He’s fine as hell too.”
“Really? Well, if you and Phyre don’t rekindle—”
“Don’t even say it. Me and Phyre ain’t doing shit, and I’m smart enough not to shit where I eat.”
“Is that really where you eat, since it’s temporary?”
“All of my assignments are temporary, but I don’t want word to get back to the staffing agencies that I’m sleeping with the men I work with. Sometimes I get reassigned to those locations, so I need my reputation to be clean.”
“I suppose you’re right. Did everyone give you a warm welcome?”
“Yeah, and I didn’t sense any weird vibes. Everyone was cool except for Phyre.”
“That’s good, but you know Phyre is on some other shit. Damn. Let me answer this call. It’s Tariq. I’ll call you back.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you.”
“Love you more.”
Our FaceTime call ended, and I fell back onto the bed. Today was so mentally exhausting, I didn’t even want dinner, but I decided to eat something light before going to bed. After enjoying a plum and a frozen yogurt popsicle, I brushed my teeth and went to bed.
The next morning, I prayed before starting my day. I’d be the first to admit that I didn’t pray as often as I should, but if I wanted to make it through this assignment, Jesus would most definitely have to be on the main line.
After doing thirty minutes of Pilates, I showered and dressed in one of my many pairs of scrubs.
I failed to wrap my hair before going to bed, so I brushed it back and wore a headband.
Once my lips were covered in a coat of lip gloss, I put a bottle of flavored water, fruit, and a bag of trail mix in my lunch bag and headed to work.
The closer I got to the building, the more nervous my stomach became. My stomach was fine yesterday, so I was annoyed that I allowed my nerves to get to me today. I opened the windows to let some fresh air into the truck and took slow, deep breaths. It helped some, but not completely.
I arrived later today because I didn’t want to be alone with Phyre, so I was relieved to see other cars in the parking lot. Once inside, I greeted the other nurses, put my belongings away, and began preparing for the day.
“Hey, Ginae. Dr. Jordan wants to see you in his office,” Lauryn said.
I did my best to keep my expression neutral because the last thing I wanted was for everyone in the office to think I had a problem with Phyre.
“Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”
I slowly made my way to Phyre’s office and found him sitting behind his desk. He was focused on his computer screen and didn’t notice me. I took a moment to admire the man I once loved with all my heart.
He had smooth, milk chocolate skin and perfect, kissable lips wrapped in a full, shiny mustache and beard. His eyes were deep, and it felt like he could see my soul when he looked at me. The Caesar cut he sported in college was still precisely lined, but he wore it in a fade with tiny twists.
“You just gonna stand there and stare at me?” he questioned, his voice startling me.
“Oh, umm, I wasn’t staring. I didn’t want to interrupt you. Lauryn said you wanted to see me.”
He smirked at my lie before saying, “Yes. I’m going over to the hospital to check on a few patients who delivered this weekend. You should come along, and I’ll show you around.”
I dreaded having to be alone with him, so I asked a question I already knew the answer to.
“Is that necessary?”
“I believe you know it is. We’re leaving in about ten minutes.”
“Okay.”
I left his office to gather my things and went to the break room to wait for him. There was no sense in doing anything since I was leaving shortly. I pulled out my phone and sent Devyn a text.
Me:
This fool is trying to set me up.
Dev:
How?
Me:
He got me going over to the hospital with him to check on some patients.
Dev:
??? How is that setting you up? Sounds like it’s part of your job.
Me:
I need a new best friend.
Dev:
You won’t find one better than me, so don’t even try it.
Me:
I know, but you don’t have to always be logical.
Dev:
Hello! I’m a Libra. We’re the most logical beings created.
Me:
Whatever!
Dev:
I bet if you talked to that man, the tension between you would disappear.
Me:
Bye former best friend.
Dev:
Don’t play with me. You know I’ll be on the next flight. Love you.
Me:
Love you too . . . maybe.
I closed our text thread and went to my family’s group chat.
Me:
Family call tonight?
Bro:
You good?
Daddy:
What’s wrong?
Mommy:
What happened?
Me:
I’m fine. I wouldn’t say something is wrong or anything has happened, but there’s been a turn of events that I didn’t expect.
Mommy:
I expected a call from you yesterday.
Me:
I know, but I was mentally exhausted. I went to bed early.
Daddy:
Are you sure you’re okay and not in any danger?
Me:
I’m positive.
Bro:
I’m free right now. Can you talk?
Me:
No. I’m already at work. I’ll call all of you tonight. Love y’all.
Bro:
Same.
Mommy:
Love you too.
Daddy:
Love you too.
I didn’t know what I would do without my parents and brother. My parents had always been easy to talk to, regardless of the topic, and there were very few things I hadn’t shared with them. Although I was grateful to have Devyn in my life, my brother was my first best friend.
“You ready?” Phyre asked, causing my body to tense.
I took a deep breath and stood before turning to face him.
“I sure am.”
He didn’t move until I was damn near on top of him. When he turned to walk away, I got a whiff of his cologne, and it made my knees weak. I didn’t recall noticing his scent yesterday and wondered if he put on a little extra to ensure I wouldn’t miss it today.
His aroma reminded me of our past, when I would bury my face in his chest and fall fast asleep. He used to make me feel safe, but that feeling was gone within a matter of seconds after reading the text about him being engaged.
“We’re headed over to the hospital and should be back before lunch. Call me if there’s an emergency that needs my attention,” Phyre told everyone as we headed for the door.
“Okay.”
“Will do.”
“See you later.”
I waved goodbye as various responses came from everyone as we left. The hallway didn’t seem wide enough for us to walk next to each other without our shoulders touching, so I slowed my steps to ensure that wouldn’t happen. Once outside, he walked in one direction, and I walked toward my rental.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“I’ll follow you.”
“Ginae, you’re being silly.”
“I’m being serious.”
“The hospital is only five minutes away. Ride with me. I promise I won’t bite.”
The last thing I wanted to do was be alone with Phyre in a small space. I released a breath as I looked up at the sky and shook my head in annoyance.
“Fine.”
“Thank you.”
I followed him to his luxury car, and he opened the passenger side door for me. As soon as he closed the door, I was consumed by his aura.
“God, please give me strength,” I quickly whispered before he got behind the wheel.
When he left the parking lot and didn’t go in the direction of the hospital, I bit the inside of my jaw. I knew this nigga was up to something, and I should’ve followed my first instinct.
“The hospital is the other way,” I said calmly.
“I know where the hospital is. I didn’t sleep well last night, and I need some caffeine.”
I folded my arms across my chest and looked out of the window. He pulled into the drive-through of a coffee shop I wasn’t familiar with. The line was long, which irritated me, and I released an exaggerated sigh.
“How long is this gonna take?” I asked, not hiding my sour mood.
“They’re usually pretty quick. Do you want anything?”
“Only to be away from you.”
“Damn. That hurt.”
“You can’t be surprised.”
“After our interactions yesterday, I shouldn’t be, but I was hoping today would be different.”
“Let me save you some energy. No day will be different, Phyre. I don’t want to ever talk to you about what you did to me. Not yesterday, not today, not tomorrow, not next month. If it’s not work-related, feel free to pretend as if I don’t exist. Are we clear?”
“Loud and clear.”
I hated to be so mean, but I had a heart to protect. If I let my guard down, it would open me up to being hurt again, and I didn’t have time for those kinds of problems.