Chapter 15
The silence on the ride home was deafening, but it was even worse after we arrived. We moved through the house like two strangers, making it hard to believe that less than an hour ago, he was whispering in my ear all the things he wanted to do to me when we left.
I’d been racking my brain trying to figure out what happened while I was in the bathroom.
I had a strong feeling that Kavia had done or said something, but she wasn’t even at the table when I returned.
If it was her that pissed him off, I didn’t understand why it seemed as if he was taking it out on me.
While he showered, I ate one of the premade meals the chef had prepared. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and that was over twelve hours ago. Starving wasn’t enough to describe how hungry I was, and the grilled chicken and assortment of mixed vegetables hit the spot.
He entered the kitchen, freshly showered, shirtless, and wearing basketball shorts.
No words were exchanged as he poured himself a glass of water and drank it in two gulps.
He left the kitchen without acknowledging my presence, and I was tempted to throw the glass he’d left on the counter at the back of his head.
Instead, I finished my food, cleaned up the small mess I’d made, and headed for the shower. By the time I’d finished my bedtime routine, I was pissed and prepared to force Phyre to tell me what the hell his problem was.
The house was chilly, so I slipped on a pair of my pajama pants with one of his hoodies. I found him in the family room, sitting in the recliner, with only the light from the television, which was on mute. I flipped on the light and spoke at the same time.
“You ready to talk now?”
He sat up, adjusting the recliner to an upright position, resting his elbows on his thighs. When our eyes connected, I couldn’t read his, and my gut told me that whatever his problem was, it had everything to do with me.
“Sit down.” He nodded toward the couch.
I crossed the room and sat down, suddenly nervous as hell.
“Did I do something? Because your negative energy feels like it’s directed toward me.”
He didn’t answer immediately, and with each passing second, I became more nervous.
“Do you have any children, Ginae?”
Baffled by his question, I narrowed my eyes as I responded. “No. We’ve already discussed this.”
“Have you ever given birth?”
“What? No. Why are you—”
“Have you ever been pregnant?”
My stomach sank, and my mouth quickly became as dry as the Sahara Desert.
“Why are you asking these questions?”
“Just answer the question.”
“I don’t have any kids, Phyre. You don’t believe me?”
“That’s not what I asked you. Have you ever been pregnant?” he repeated.
My legs bounced nervously as I rubbed my sweaty palms over my thighs.
“Phyre, I—”
He shot to his feet and shouted so loud, I swore the house shook.
“Answer the fucking question!”
“Okay, okay! Yes. I was pregnant once, but—”
“When?”
“What?”
“When were you pregnant?”
“Baby, let me—”
“Ginae, I’m doing my best not to lose it. I don’t want to hear shit but the answers to my questions. When were you pregnant?”
“I wanted to tell you, but—”
“You aborted my baby? You killed my fucking baby? How could you?”
“I didn’t—”
“You need to leave.”
“What?”
“I need you to go.”
“Phyre, let me explain.”
“There’s nothing you can say that will make me understand how you could kill my baby, . . . our baby, Ginae. I need you to go.”
He was hell bent on believing I’d had an abortion, and since he refused to hear me out, I’d let him believe what he wanted, . . . for now. With tears in my eyes and running down my face, I left him in the family room.
He was still standing, and as I walked past him, I hoped he’d grab me, wrap his arms around me, and give me a chance to explain. Instead, he looked at me with hate in his eyes and let me walk away.
When I made it to his bedroom, I hurriedly stuffed as many of my belongings as I could into two suitcases.
After booking a room at Black Elm Suites, I requested a ride on the rideshare app.
Before going outside to wait, I hung the keys to the truck and condo on the key holder he had hanging near the garage entrance.
I dragged my two suitcases outside just as the driver pulled up.
We put them in the trunk, but something in me wouldn’t let me leave with Phyre thinking I’d had an abortion.
After asking her to give me a minute, I went back inside and straight to the family room, where I found him back in his recliner, staring at the ceiling.
“I had a miscarriage, you asshole.”
I didn’t stick around long enough to see his reaction, but as the driver pulled away from the curb, I saw him in front of the house. I was sure he’d be calling me in a matter of minutes, so I blocked his number.
Twenty minutes later, I arrived at the suites. Somehow, I managed to keep it together until the moment I was inside my room. With a suitcase on either side of me, my back fell against the door, and I slid to the floor as tears fell from my eyes.
The last time I’d cried this way, Phyre was the reason for my pain, and all these years later, he was back to administer another dose of heartbreak.
I wasn’t sure who or what caused him to ask those questions, but the source didn’t matter.
What mattered was that he didn’t allow me to give him the facts regarding the situation.
Imagine going from finding out the man I was in love with was engaged, to finding out I was carrying his child, to then finding out the child had no heartbeat, all in the span of a few days.
If that wasn’t enough, I had to decide if I wanted to continue carrying the baby and wait for it to expel itself, or have a procedure done to remove it.
The only people who knew about my miscarriage were my parents, brother, and Devyn, and the only way Phyre would know was if one of them told him. I trusted them with my life, and they would never betray me in such a way.
I probably sat on the floor for thirty minutes, replaying the events from the night and wishing I could turn back the hands of time. When I finally got to my feet, I secured the door and made my way to the bed, not bothering to bring the suitcases with me.
After slipping off my shoes, I pulled the blankets back, crawled into bed, and cried myself to sleep. My ringing phone awakened me some time later. I didn’t bother checking to see who it was before I answered it.
“What?” I answered, not hiding my irritation.
“Hello?”
“What?” I repeated.
“Ginae?”
“It’s me. Can I help you?”
“This is Phoenix. Are you okay?”
“No. Do you want something?”
“You guys left so abruptly, I wanted to see if everything was okay. My brother isn’t answering his phone, so I thought I would try you.”
I finally looked at the time on my phone and saw that I’d been asleep for less than an hour.
“Everything is fucked up, but I don’t feel like talking about it right now. Try calling your brother again. I gotta go.”
“Ginae! Wait! Don’t hang—”
I ended the call with Phoenix before she could finish and tried to go back to sleep. Minutes later, my phone rang again, and I answered even more aggressively than before.
“I don’t want to talk!”
“Nae, it’s me, Devyn.”
“I don’t care! Just let me be!”
“If you hang up this damn phone, I’m booking a flight.”
“Ugh! What do you want?”
“Phoenix called me. She didn’t have any details, but she knew something had happened between you and Phyre.”
“And?”
“Sis, whatever it is, you can talk to me. If you want me to come to you, I will,” she said softly.
I sighed, contemplating whether I wanted to tell my best friend what happened or end the call. Devyn was persistent, and I didn’t take her threat to book a flight lightly.
“He knows about the baby.”
I thought she might gasp or say something to express her shock.
Instead, she FaceTimed me. I begrudgingly accepted the call, and since I didn’t turn off the light before crawling into bed, she could see my face.
I was sure I looked horrible, and she confirmed it when I heard the gasp I was expecting before.
“Nae, look at you. Your eyes and nose are red and puffy. I’m so sorry, sis. Tell me what happened.”
It was a short story, and even with shedding a few tears and pausing here and there while reciting it, it took only a few minutes to share what had happened.
“And you have no idea how he found out?”
“Not a clue.”
“Why would he assume you got an abortion?”
“I don’t know, but even if I had, it was my choice. If he’d been up-front with me about his shit in the beginning, he would have known exactly what happened.”
“True.”
“Fuck him, anyway. I still believe the shock and stress I endured when I found out he was engaged is what caused the miscarriage. I’ll die on that hill, and no one can convince me otherwise.”
“Ginae, don’t let this take you back to that dark place.”
“I won’t, but I’m pissed. He was so hell bent on believing I killed our baby that he wouldn’t let me explain what really happened.”
“Does that sound familiar?”
“No.”
“It should.”
“I don’t see why.”
“Maybe you blocked it out, but let me remind you. When Phyre tried to explain his situation, you threatened to call the police, forcing him to leave. Had you listened, your happily ever after could’ve started thirteen years ago.”
I smacked my lips. “It’s not the same.”
“I disagree, and once you have time to think about it, you’ll know I’m right.”
“I doubt it. Can I go back to sleep now?”
“Where are you? The condo?”
“No. I got a room for a few days at Black Elm Suites.”
“Why would you waste money? Phyre may be upset, but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you staying at the condo.”
“He’s probably not upset anymore. After I put my luggage in the car, I went back inside and told him I had a miscarriage. While my words sank in, I hopped in my rideshare and blocked his number.”
“Nooo!”