Chapter Thirty-Six
Amira clutched Fred’s hand as they crouched on the ground beside their bed and bunched up whatever they could beneath their sheets, in an attempt to make it look as if they were in bed when the guard walked past and flashed his light over them. Panic rose in her throat as she squinted at their handiwork, not convinced at all that it was going to fool anyone and praying that the others in the room didn’t wake up.
‘What else can we use?’ she whispered.
‘There’s nothing else,’ Fred said. ‘This will have to do.’
It was dark outside now, which meant that almost everyone in their barracks was either asleep or resting, and they knew that now was their chance. The guards had already done their early evening rounds, and if they didn’t go now, they likely wouldn’t get another chance.
‘Are you ready?’ Fred murmured, reaching for Amira’s hand.
‘Yes. As I’ll ever be,’ she murmured back.
They walked as quietly as mice, barely lifting their feet off the ground as they tiptoed through the barracks and towards the back door. Fred had the key, and she stood behind him as he put it in the lock and turned it. The sharp sound made her cringe and her skin flush hot, certain someone would come running, looking for whatever or whoever had made the noise, but thankfully it had begun to rain outside, and the sound on the roof must have disguised what noise they’d made.
Fred carefully opened the door, slowly so as not to make a creak, and they both slipped out, shutting it behind them so that no one would notice it had been used. They left it unlocked, having decided earlier that they’d rather leave it that way in case anyone else ever wanted to escape and discovered it, but not locking it also meant less noise.
Outside, the wind was much colder than Amira had expected, and even though the rain was light, it soon soaked through her blouse and coat. Fred was only wearing a shirt and trousers, having used his jacket to help make the bulges in the bed, and she couldn’t imagine how cold he was already.
They pressed their backs to the barracks and stood, both looking around, waiting for their eyes to adjust. The watchtowers were easy to spot as they had large floodlights positioned beside them, with guards manually moving the beams around the camp to check the perimeter. Amira and Fred began to move in the shadows. When they reached the edge of the barracks and had to run across to the next building, Amira’s heart almost stopped.
‘We’ll have to cross here quickly,’ Fred said. ‘I’ll go first and you follow.’
‘No,’ she said. ‘We go together. I don’t want to be left behind, even for a second.’
‘Very well then,’ he said, taking her hand once more. ‘We count to three, then run.’
Amira counted silently in her mind and then they ran, her with her other hand beneath her stomach for support.
‘We did it,’ she gasped. ‘We actually did it!’
‘Now we have to get over there,’ he whispered. ‘That concrete building is the crematorium.’
She nodded, her breath still ragged after their short run, but she kept following Fred, determined now that they were going to be able to do this. They just had to keep moving and avoid the light.
Minutes later they were faced with the same challenge, waiting to run again. They counted to three and then moved as quickly as they could, but this time the light passed nearby, sending them diving to the ground to reach the shadows in time. Amira was breathing heavily, a pain in her side making her nauseous as she crawled on all fours.
But it wasn’t her pain that threatened to give her away. Fred’s hand closed over her mouth as her eyes widened in horror, the pile of bodies beside them making her want to scream and run back in the direction they’d come. They were like ghouls; their mouths open, their eyes staring, their cheeks so hollow they were more skeleton than human.
And the smell. She doubted she’d ever forget the smell for as long as she lived. Bodies that had desperately needed a wash well before death had taken them; emaciated men and women who had deserved better than the suffering they had faced. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that she couldn’t ever imagine shutting her eyes again without seeing them.
‘We need to climb in,’ Fred said, but he’d barely gotten the words out before he was bent over being sick, which only made her stomach churn all the more.
But she nodded, knowing that they had to get on with what needed to be done. These people were gone, and they had been prisoners too, which meant she knew they wouldn’t think ill of them for using the bodies they’d left behind to hide in. Or at least that was what she wanted to believe.
‘How long until Hans is here?’ Fred asked. ‘What did he say?’
‘He didn’t. He just said to wait.’
They had no concept of what time it was, no idea of how long they would have to lie in wait, hoping that Hans was able to come. They had no choice but to trust him.
‘Come on, before the light passes over us,’ Fred said. ‘You first.’
Amira didn’t know how she did it, and if she weren’t expecting, she doubted it was something she could have even considered doing, but because of her baby she gritted her teeth and stepped forward when Fred pulled a body aside.
‘We need to take our clothes off,’ he said.
‘No.’ Amira began to cry then as she whispered back to him. ‘I can’t, I can’t be naked here.’
Fred began to take his own clothes off, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t stand the thought of her naked flesh touching that of a dead person, and she couldn’t bear the thought of anyone seeing her without her clothes on.
‘If you take your clothes off, you could just lie at the top. It will be cold, but you won’t have to—’
‘Fred!’ Amira screamed, forgetting that they were supposed to be quiet, forgetting what would happen if someone, anyone , heard them. If the big light was turned in their direction and caught sight of them.
Fred spun around as a guard smoking a cigarette appeared behind him, the glowing orange end making him stand out in the dark. Hitler despised smoking, which was likely why the guard had walked away from the camp to have one, but the moment he saw Fred the cigarette dropped from his lips and he reached for his weapon.
In all the time she’d known Fred, he’d been an absolute gentleman, with no hint of aggression shown towards her or anyone else at any time. But when his horror-struck eyes met hers in the second it took him to spin around and see the guard, she immediately knew that he would do anything to keep her, and the baby, safe.
Fred ran at the guard with a speed she hadn’t anticipated, knocking him to the ground. She clamped her hand over her mouth as they wrestled. The guard was bigger, and she imagined much better fed and well rested, but Fred seemed to possess a strength she couldn’t have imagined as he fought against him.
‘Give me your scarf!’ he hissed.
She scrambled forward as he punched the guard in the face and straddled him, giving him her scarf and watching in horror as he wrapped it around the guard’s neck, strangling the man while he fought with all his might. But Fred never gave up, not until the last twitch of the guard’s leg.
‘Take his gun,’ she whispered, horrified by what she’d seen but knowing that they only had seconds now. If anyone else had heard her scream, or came looking for the missing guard...
Another figure appeared then, and Fred lifted the gun, his finger on the trigger as she scurried to hide behind him. Whatever bullets were in the pistol wouldn’t be enough to shoot every guard, but it was something.
‘Hans!’ she whispered. ‘It’s Hans, lower the gun!’
Fred didn’t do as she asked, the gun shaking, only lowering it when she forcibly covered it and pushed down on his hand.
‘What the hell happened here?’ Hans asked.
‘We had no choice,’ Fred said, his voice steadier than she’d expected it to be.
‘He saw us,’ Amira whispered. ‘If Fred hadn’t, if he hadn’t—’
‘Quickly, just put this uniform on while I strip him down,’ Hans interrupted, passing her the clothes he’d brought. ‘If the guard is naked we can throw him in with the other bodies. They won’t notice until daybreak.’
Amira stared down, not even feeling sorry for the dead guard. All she could think about was that it would be impossible not to notice his fat body among the skeletal prisoners.
‘Put his boots on,’ Hans told Amira. ‘And be sure to tuck your hair up tightly beneath the cap.’
The clothes were too big for her, but her round stomach helped her to fill them out, and she had only just put the jacket on when the rain began to pelt down, quickly soaking them through to the bone.
‘Help me throw him in the pile,’ Hans said to Fred. ‘And we need to bury his clothes among the dead, so no one sees them. I don’t need an entire search party looking for him and you.’
Amira stood, hunched and shivering so hard her teeth kept rattling in her jaw, until Hans and Fred returned to stand beside her against the building to ensure they were well hidden in the shadows.
‘They’re going to send someone to look for him soon, so you need to move fast,’ Hans said. ‘There are lorry trucks departing for Weimar, to pick up guards and SS men from town after their night off. The backs of the lorries will be empty.’
Amira tried to imagine it, calling out to a truck driven by guards.
‘You are to run alongside or call out, and then jump up into the back. You’re two men going to get drunk for the night, that’s all.’
‘You’re certain they won’t notice, that—’
‘You’re wearing guards’ uniforms and it’s dark,’ he said. ‘You won’t get any better cover, and you’ll be hidden in the back on your own.’
Amira lifted her face to the sky and felt the rain falling. She hoped Hans was right and that there wouldn’t be other guards sitting in the backs of the trucks.
‘But what about when we reach Weimar? What then?’
‘You won’t reach Weimar, because you’ll jump off the back well before then. It will be pitch-black darkness, and the men up front won’t notice. So long as you jump quickly and roll away, you’ll be fine.’
‘Hans—’ Amira began.
‘There’s no time to talk, you need to move,’ he said, giving her shoulder a quick squeeze before reaching into his breast pocket. ‘But you need to take this for me, and you have to make sure it reaches Gisele.’
‘Aren’t you going home soon? Why can’t you give it to her yourself?’
She tucked it quickly into her own pocket to ensure it stayed dry, hoping her wet fingers hadn’t already smudged it. Her face was slick with rain, and she knew that if they didn’t get moving soon, they’d be sodden – as would the letter he’d just given her.
‘Please, stay with her while she reads it. I don’t want her to be alone.’
‘What do you—’
‘Go! You need to go now or you’ll miss the last of the trucks. Don’t let this all be for nothing.’
‘Come on,’ Fred said, grabbing hold of her hand to pull her along with him.
‘Thank you,’ Amira said. ‘Thank you, Hans. I’ll never forget this.’
He nodded, his mouth drawn tight as if he didn’t know what to say.
‘We have to go,’ Fred said, tugging her. ‘I’m not getting stuck here.’
‘Just tell Gisele,’ Hans said as they moved away from him. ‘Tell her there’s nothing she can do. By the time she reads it, it will already be done. It’s imperative that you give it to her.’
His voice was sombre, the pain palpable, but there was no time to talk any longer. Fred was right; they’d come this far. If they didn’t escape now, they’d never have another chance, and the longer it took the more likely it was that a guard would notice they’d gone. Or that someone would come looking for the other guard, or for Hans.
‘I killed a man,’ Fred muttered as they walked. ‘I killed someone.’
She wanted to hold his hand or put her arms around him to comfort him, but they were supposed to be guards. They had to walk tall, with confidence, in case the light swept over them. They had to do everything within their power not to draw attention to themselves.
‘If you hadn’t killed him first...’ Amira began.
But their conversation was over when they saw a lorry rolling slowly towards the gates. And despite the large boots on her feet, Amira began to run as Fred called out to the driver.
‘ Warten! ’ he called. ‘Wait! We are coming too!’
‘To Weimar?’ the driver called back, peering out at them, shouting through the weather. His window was down, but she imagined in the dark, with the rain steadily hitting the windscreen, that it would be almost impossible for him to see them at all.
‘Yes,’ Fred said, as the truck rumbled to an almost stop.
He jumped up into the wooden-decked back and held his hand out for her, and by some miracle, despite her pregnancy, she managed to clamber up beside him without falling. The gates opened then and the truck rolled through, and the two of them, completely concealed by darkness, as tears rolled steadily down Amira’s cheeks, stared back at the lights from the watchtower as they left the camp behind.
But as elated as she was at the thought that they were almost free, that they’d almost done the impossible, she couldn’t help but consider what would happen to Hans, especially with his letter burning a hole in her pocket.