Chapter 8
The stream of comments piling in seems never-ending and it’s the school mums who are first off the mark. ‘OMG congratulations you guys!’, ‘Gorgeous pair’ and a simple string of heart emojis are the main contenders, followed by an admittedly hilarious ‘WTF?’ from Olivia. Joe’s post has racked up over one hundred likes in less than half an hour and I can practically feel my ears burning as we set the school gate gossip ablaze.
We leave the pub shortly after and stroll through Cotham’s leafy streets together, grand villas in bath stone turning into Victorian terraces like mine. I chance another look at my phone just as the Barnaby’s volunteer group chat lights up. The first is from Tally.
Joe and Sophie! You kept that under the radar Can’t wait to hear all the goss.
‘That didn’t take long,’ I say as Joe reads the message over my shoulder.
He breathes a sigh of relief. ‘I feel like a weight’s been lifted.’
BTW the kids are having a last minute school trip to the park on TUESDAY morning and need volunteers asap.
Who’s keen?
Perhaps our latest recruits and new lovebirds @JoeKitson @SophieRogers?
‘Ooh, sounds fun!’ I cheer.
‘I thought this was meant to be an irregular thing?’ Joe grumbles.
‘Are you working on Tuesday morning?’
‘Well … there’s nothing I couldn’t move around I suppose. Stop looking at me like that.’
‘Like what?’
‘Like a very pleased person who is full of hope?’
‘Surely that’s a good thing?’ I laugh. ‘Come on, it’ll be fun. Taking the kids to the park, getting some time with the other parents.’
Joe winces.
‘Joe, the plan’s in motion now. The mums think we’re together. You’ll be fine.’
‘All right. As long as you can make it too. There’s no way I’m strolling into the lion’s den on my own.’
‘Perks of working for yourself.’ I beam. ‘This is me.’
We stop outside my house and I turn to Joe, holding out a hand for him to shake. He takes it and draws me closer so that I feel his warmth against my body. Then he leans down, his hair tickling my skin as he plants a soft kiss on my cheek. The surprise of it, the way the kiss feels on my skin, is so great that I forget to breathe for a second. It’s been a while, I guess. I style this weird little feeling out by diving right back into efficient mode.
‘Don’t forget to do your homework before Tuesday,’ I say, wagging my finger like a school teacher. ‘I do not want us getting caught out!’
‘You’re frightening when you’re bossy.’ He smoulders as he leaves.
Sunday dawns bright and crisp so Lila and I decide to wrap up warm and go to a playground. Every other week we’ll head over to Mum and Dad’s for Sunday lunch, usually with Poppy and occasionally Adam too, but this weekend we have no plans. After the mad rush of the working week I cherish these slow, see-how-it-goes Sundays.
Just as Lila’s about to demonstrate how good she is at flying down the big slide (‘Look, Mummy, LOOK!’) my phone starts ringing. It’s Joe.
‘Hello,’ I say with a smile in my voice.
‘My queen!’ he replies enthusiastically.
And I’ve tangled myself up in a fake romance with a mad man. Brilliant.
‘Come again?’
‘You put me in charge of romance, remember? All good couples have sweet nicknames for each other and you chose a la reine pizza the other night, which as we all know is French for queen, so if it’s not too “tragique” …’
I laugh. ‘It’s a hard no from me, but bravo for noticing what pizza I ordered.’
‘I’ll stick with Sophie, then,’ Joe says, my name sounding good in his Irish accent. ‘I just wanted to say that I think the plan’s already working. Celeste left me a voice note yesterday which I didn’t listen to until I got back from our date. She said she’d been reading some Chekov and would love to talk through his works with me over a bottle of wine, which was genuinely terrifying. But then she must have seen our Instagram post because I got another voice note later on saying something along the lines of “silly me, must have sent that to the wrong person”.’
‘Imagine a night in with Celeste,’ I hoot.
‘Frightening stuff. So I wanted to say thanks for saving my bacon.’
‘You are most welcome.’
‘Do you guys want a lift to Oscar’s party?’
My heart breaks a little. With everything going on lately I’d forgotten that Poppy had asked if Lila had been invited. She definitely hasn’t and now there’s yet another school event Lila is missing out on because I am not part of the mum scene. I gaze over at her now, trying to run up the slide backwards, her hair in thick plaits on either side of her head. All I want in life is for my beautiful girl to be happy and right now, I can’t help but feel like I’m letting her down.
‘Lila didn’t get an invite,’ I tell Joe. My voice comes out thick.
Joe’s quiet for a minute. ‘Balls, sorry. I just assumed …’
‘Honestly don’t worry about it. It was nice of you to offer.’
‘It’s bound to be a horror show,’ he says kindly. ‘Celeste has booked a pottery painting class. For four-year-olds! And apparently there’s going to be cucumber sandwiches. It’s got disaster written all over it.’
‘It’s very sweet that you’re trying to cheer me up.’
‘I feel bad. You know what, though? Celeste sent the invites out ages ago, way before we came up with our plan. I bet you any money Lila will be invited to the next party.’
I hope so, I think once I’ve hung up. For Lila’s sake.
Once my daughter has happily scaled every piece of apparatus in the playground, I scoop her up and whisk us both off to the supermarket, her favourite, where she gets to pick whatever she fancies for Sunday dinner.
Later, as we tuck into that classic Sunday meal of mac and cheese with garlic bread, I ask Lila if she’s looking forward to school tomorrow.
‘Yes,’ she says earnestly. ‘I like the book corner and all the crayons.’
‘And what about the people? Who are you looking forward to playing with?’
‘Sidney’s nice. And Margot.’
‘That’s great! Are they your best friends?’
‘Sometimes. What’s a playdate, Mummy?’
‘That’s where you invite your friends round to play. Would you like to do that?’
‘I’ll make a list,’ she says excitedly, grabbing a thick crayon and one of her unicorn notebooks and jotting down some scribbles. My heart pulls for my daughter. This is why I’m doing this thing with Joe, I remind myself. Lila is the centre of my world and it’s my duty to make sure that she gets the best experience out of school life. The sooner I’m best mates with the mums, the better.