Chapter 16
Mel is leaning against the school gates clutching a packet of pharmacy-grade paracetamol, handing them out to the rest of the parents as we arrive. I swear there’s a slight whiff of stale booze in the air as Joe and I approach the gang. I’d assumed I’d be dropping Lila and Sid off myself today, because Joe normally only does Thursdays, but he emailed work first thing to say he wouldn’t be going in until this afternoon. He’s standing next to me now, looking decidedly more crumpled than usual as he gratefully accepts Mel’s meds. Then he swallows them back without any water, the animal.
‘Daddy, why does your face look saggy today?’ Sid asks.
Joe flinches. ‘I stayed up past my bedtime. Could you dial it down a couple of decibels, Sid?’
Sid’s brows furrow and I smile at him. ‘Don’t worry, you weren’t shouting, Sid. Daddy’s just feeling a little delicate this morning.’
‘Aren’t we all,’ announces Celeste. She looks like she’s in mourning rather than hungover. She’s literally wearing a black veil over her face and a pair of black sunglasses underneath. It’s not sunny.
I stifle a giggle, feeling smug at my hangover-free state.
‘Wow, you guys look dreadful,’ Tally says cheerfully as she walks towards us.
‘How do you manage to look so fresh?’ Frankie scowls.
‘Firstly, Akoni has followed me back, so today is already a great day. Plus I did my usual post-booze regime. Haven’t you seen it on my channels?’ Tally asks, incredulous. ‘It’s one of my most popular posts. You start off with downing at least a pint of water when you get home. Then you hook yourself up to an IV vitamin drip to replace lost salts …’
‘Stop right there.’ Mel holds her hand up. ‘How on earth are you injecting yourself with vitamins? Do I even want to hear the answer to this? Do not do that, by the way.’
‘Oh I don’t do it myself! I called my dehydration team and they sent someone out last night,’ Tally explains, ignoring the fact that Mel is firmly explaining to the group that there’s no medical proof to back up the claims of vitamin drips.
Joe rubs his forehead. Today is clearly not his day for dealing with school gate spats.
‘Who has a dehydration team?’ Frankie asks me in a whisper.
I shrug. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘Not too bad,’ she says gingerly, like she doesn’t want to jinx it. ‘Maybe I should become an influencer too? I recommend a Maccie D’s on your way home from a night out. Much cheaper than a vitamin drip, I suspect. Thanks for looking after me and getting me home by the way.’
‘That’s what friends are for.’ I smile.
‘And also, you two,’ she says, pointing at me and Joe, ‘LOVED the steamy kiss on the dancefloor last night. So nice to see you guys as a proper couple rather than mum and dad at the school gates.’
Immediately I feel Joe tense.
‘Oh I …’ I am looking at Joe flailing slightly. What should I say, thanks?
‘Can I have a word?’ Joe says, dropping his voice so only I can hear.
‘Sure,’ I reply, my heart sinking even further as I follow him to my former hangout, the recycling bins.
Joe turns to give me a penetrating look.
‘We kissed last night,’ he says. ‘I forgot. You kissed me.’
Instant reaction: curl up and die.
‘Yes.’ I nod solemnly. ‘I did kiss you. There’s a whole story behind that which I’ve wanted to talk to you about.’
‘A story?’ Joe folds his arms, his usual amused look now replaced with a frankly quite intense one.
I open my mouth ready to launch into an explanation when Olivia stops right next to us with a perky: ‘Coffee delivery!’
She thrusts two coffees into our hands, heads over to the rest of the group to do the same and I’m struck with an odd sense that something’s not quite right. Olivia has her usual immaculate uniform of floating skirt with soft knitted jumper on. She looks the same as ever. So what’s bothering me? I scan her up and down and my eyes snag on the drinks she’s carrying.
They’re my coffees.
I’d recognise the Mylk It logo anywhere. I spent weeks working on it with a design team, after all. The bold, deep green and white print. The I of It designed to look just like an old-fashioned milk bottle. I shake my head in confusion. Did Olivia travel to London for this morning’s coffee fix? Another mum told me that Olivia had bought a flat close to St Barnaby’s just to get her daughter Nikhita in catchment, and that the family actually live on the other side of town, so she’s obviously happy to go to batshit lengths to get what she wants. But a five-hour round trip just for a morning brew? Surely not.
Now she’s handing the coffees out and the group are responding with grateful noises and, in Frankie’s case, a whispered ‘fuck yeah’.
Usually I’d feel a buzz to have been included in the delivery but now I feel all at sea as I realise I’m holding one of my own compostable cups. They’re much more expensive to source but the driving ethos of my company had always been sustainability, so I’d insisted on them. It was a battle, actually. Mark had wanted to maximise profit and he had our financial backers, aka his family, on his side. I’d had to put my foot down.
‘What the hell?’ I mutter in shock.
I feel Joe taking a protective step towards me. And when I drag my gaze up from the Mylk It–branded cups, I see concern written across his face. He understands what’s going on.
‘This must be a shock,’ he says quietly, steering me farther away from the crowd and standing like a soldier on guard while I try to process what’s going on.
‘What do you need?’ Joe asks. ‘I can stay and make sure Lila gets in if you need to make some calls?’
‘I don’t know,’ I reply meekly. ‘I feel so vulnerable all of a sudden. What are they doing here in Bristol? It’s such an … intrusion.’
Because the question is, what is Mark up to? When I was at the helm Mylk It had no plans to branch out of London, with Mark in particular keen to keep the business model London-centric. And of course I’ve kept an eye on the company ever since, sometimes I can’t help a quick google to see how it’s doing. It was my original baby, after all. So I know they haven’t branched out, until now. I shift uncomfortably from foot to foot as I think this through. Why has Mark chosen Bristol, of all the cities in the UK, to launch the first café outside the capital? The question makes me uneasy. Does he have an ulterior motive? I cast my eyes over to Lila, playing a game of rock paper scissors with Nikhita nearby, and the thought of her biological father potentially being in the same city as her makes me feel exposed. Helpless, even.
‘Whatever they’re doing, I’m here for you, Soph,’ Joe says. He puts an arm around me and I’m torn between feeling a swell of emotion towards him, and thinking about Lila and her father. I’ve always wanted her to know that any questions she will undoubtedly have will be answered honestly. Every now and then, she’ll bring him up, like the time a few months ago when she asked if he was ever coming back. It was such a matter-of-fact question, and my heart broke for her because I worry that she will somehow think it’s her fault that he’s not around. So even though in my head I’m calling Mark every name under the sun for being such a useless tool, I make sure I don’t drag him down when we talk. I explain that he wasn’t ready to be a father and I tell her how much I love her. I tell her that he lives in London and that Mummy came to Bristol to make a cosy family home for Lila. But now Mark’s encroaching on my space and I feel incredibly unsettled, like my past life has come crashing into my current self.
I don’t like it one bit.
I will need to deal with this, but right now, my instinct is to stay by Lila’s side. So I lead Joe back over to the group.
‘I figured we’d be in need of a caffeine boost after all that partying last night,’ Olivia is saying amid grateful thank-yous.
Tally grabs her cup and literally squawks. ‘Mylk It! Where did you get your hands on this, Liv?’ She demands this half listening, half taking a photo of the cup in her hand and uploading evidence online. ‘I need details asap.’
‘They’ve got a converted ice cream van parked outside the private school just up the road,’ Olivia explains. ‘Apparently they are opening a pop-up café in Bristol soon. Have you heard of them?’
‘Of course I have! Anybody who’s anybody has heard of them,’ growls Tally, furiously tapping into her phone. ‘If Mama in Pearls has this before I do then I’ll be in the shit. Her kids go to that school, she’s bound to be all over it. Bloody pearl-wearing idiot.’
‘It can’t be that bad, can it?’
Tally rounds on Mel with a fiery passion.
‘I’m meant to be at the forefront of what’s happening in this city. If another mumfluencer gets there first it will be curtains for my brand. Urgh. I’ve got to call my agent and find out what’s going on. Can someone make sure Margot gets into class please? If I head off now I might catch the van before it moves.’
Tally hops into her 4x4 and zooms off up the road while I watch in a daze.
‘God, this coffee’s good,’ Celeste says.
‘Yup, needed this,’ Frankie agrees.
‘These guys are a pretty big deal in London, aren’t they?’ asks Mel. ‘It would be great if we got one here too.’
‘Aren’t you drinking yours?’ Olivia asks me.
‘I … uh, actually this is my old business. I founded it when I was at uni.’
‘Oh.’ Celeste looks impressed. ‘Well I never!’
‘Mate, that’s amazing. Mylk It’s a big deal, right? You must be rolling in it,’ Frankie says mid-slurp.
‘Ha, not quite. I left the company a while ago for, um, personal reasons but I’m still very proud of it.’
Joe takes my hand and squeezes it. I feel a small sense of relief that someone here knows there’s a whole lot more going on that I’m not saying.