Chapter 12 #2
Tension and anticipation were constantly coursing through Brynn’s veins, and it didn’t much matter what they were doing.
Sitting on the sofa together was the most difficult since Brynn refused to give up the tactile comfort that they’d discovered in one another, even with the new, complicated layer slathered on top.
Even hanging out at the check-in desk wasn’t without its challenges.
Hallie always looked so cute yet competent as she chatted with guests and managed the inn with a focused precision that left Brynn in awe.
By the time they reached the booth at the start of a row, Brynn thought that Hallie’s fingertips had burned through her shirt and left a mark on her skin. She took a sip of her beer, letting the flavors distract her.
A tough sell, as Hallie slipped in next to her. “Are you a big art person?”
Brynn stared at the pieces on the table, small watercolors of what she assumed were local spots on the New England coastline. “I’m not even sure what that would entail. My parents have a few artists that they like, but it’s so subjective.”
Hallie laughed, a sweet sound that Brynn loved hearing.
“I should have figured that something hard to quantify would not be your favorite thing.” She bumped against Brynn’s shoulder, lingering so that their bodies stayed connected.
“Which means that I appreciate you humoring me and coming along all the more.”
The idea of feeling so understood made warmth expand in Brynn’s chest. Hallie didn’t chastise her.
Didn’t try to force her to figure it out.
She just accepted who Brynn was and then thanked her, like it was Brynn who was doing Hallie a favor.
The reality was, there was literally no place that Brynn would rather be in this moment.
They moved along the first of the three rows of tables, Brynn’s whole body buzzy from their closeness. As they approached a busier area of people, where the next row started along another wall, Hallie grabbed Brynn’s hand to guide her through.
When the large group thinned out, Brynn didn’t let Hallie’s hand go. This earned her a confused glance from Hallie as she looked over her shoulder.
“You never can be too careful,” she said, squeezing Hallie’s hand but still holding on.
“You never told me how your date was yesterday.” Hallie’s words caused confusion to whip through Brynn, but she didn’t let go either.
She cleared her throat, trying to remember.
Because right now, all she could feel was the warmth of Hallie’s palm.
See the wisps of hair haloing her temples.
Think about all her funny comments about art and mediums as they perused the pieces available for purchase.
After they’d moved on to another booth, of course.
In her confusion over the last week, she’d decided that she needed more information.
And she’d already been talking to Katie, a software engineer who worked remotely and lived within a twenty-minute drive, so she’d decided to see if lightning would strike twice.
If this thing that she felt with Hallie could be replicated.
The three dates she’d already gone on hadn’t exactly been a statistically significant sample size.
It would at least take some of the pressure off of the constant feeling that she was going to blow up her friendship with Hallie if she was getting things totally wrong.
Which was a fair fear, given that Brynn had seemed to somehow ruin every female friendship that she’d ever had.
Which sucked, deeply, because she’d always yearned for one. Maybe it was the hole left after losing a sister, always wondering what their relationship would have been like.
Her bright spot in friendships had been getting to know Reese, who, just earlier this week, had asked Brynn to be her maid of honor.
That had made her heart swell, and she’d done a little happy dance when Reese had asked, but it still didn’t come close to touching the overwhelmed, intense feeling that knocked around in her body whenever she thought about Hallie.
No. Her feelings for Hallie were definitely romantic.
So maybe, more than anything, it was about finding out where Hallie stood.
Even if being asked about her own date was a weird entry into the conversation, Brynn was going to take what she could get. She stopped at one of the tables, looking absently at the small glass figurines. “It was fun. We discussed the quasi-moon.”
Hallie laughed. “You and I must have different definitions of fun.”
Brynn knew this was a lie, considering that Hallie had just listened to her pontificate on this very subject for close to an hour the other night. It was why she’d even thought to bring it up to Katie, who’d mentioned having an interest in astronomy.
Because, really, how cool was it that an asteroid had been orbiting on the same path as Earth for close to sixty years and was likely going to stay on the same path for another sixty?
In the scheme of things—of the universe, as a whole, it was completely and totally irrelevant, but to live in this moment in time and get to experience it was nothing short of incredible.
Before Brynn even responded, Hallie clocked the excited look on her face, thinking about what a profoundly special moment—120 years of moments—they existed within. Hallie sighed and squeezed Brynn’s hand, running her thumb against the back of Brynn’s knuckles. “You win. It is pretty damn cool.”
“Can’t understand why you’d see it any other way,” Brynn responded with a cheesy smile.
But back to the task at hand. She was a woman on a mission as she led Hallie to the next table. “I noticed you haven’t seemed interested in dating lately. Anything up with that?” she asked, skirting—barely—around the elephant in her mind.
Since her date with Ruby, which Hallie was surprisingly mum about, she hadn’t met up with any other matches. And Brynn knew that people were interested in Hallie, judging by the notifications constantly popping up on her phone.
Hallie pursed her lips, seemingly focused on a small elephant figurine.
It felt like some weird, karmic sign from the universe.
Maybe Hallie’s mind was on the same wavelength.
It was a ridiculous thing to think, all because she was charmed by a cute elephant statue. Brynn really needed to get it together.
“First dates are basically interviews, and I’ve had one job for my entire life, which I got by sheer nepotism. What do I know about putting my best foot forward in that way? It’s honestly a wonder that Reese lets me interview prospective candidates at the inn.”
“You found me,” Brynn defended.
Breaking her hand free, a loss that Brynn felt immediately, Hallie picked up the elephant and inhaled at the price tag stuck to its glass belly. “I’d argue that Reese found you, and I was lucky enough to be graced by your presence.”
“You’re changing the subject. We’re supposed to be talking about your dating life.” Getting Hallie to talk about something when she didn’t want to was like herding cats.
And even if it was stupid to push this, Brynn couldn’t help herself. She wanted to know what Hallie was thinking. About everything, but especially about this. She forced herself to remember that just because Hallie didn’t want to date didn’t mean that she was carrying some torch for Brynn.
That would also be ridiculous to assume. Especially when you considered Brynn’s own track record.
“I don’t have a ‘dating life,’” Hallie said, making air quotes with her one free hand. A hand that Brynn missed but had yet to pluck up the bravery to take back.
Instead, she rolled her eyes at Hallie, who seemed intent on sending her to an early grave today. If Brynn could even find her way there in this excruciatingly meandering conversation. “Which is your own choice.”
There was a world where Brynn could infer that Hallie having her friendship, and wanting only that, made it feasible for her to feel even less inclined to find a romantic partner. Hallie hadn’t wanted to date, even before Brynn had come on the scene.
Hallie put the glass elephant down, back in its place in a row with other exotic animals. “If you’d been on the date that I went on, you wouldn’t be eager to jump back on the horse either.”
“You have been suspiciously quiet about it,” Brynn cut in. Sure, she didn’t really want to know, but that didn’t change the fact that she needed to. Especially with the new awareness that had taken root inside of her body that refused to let go.
Hallie had been on her one and only date weeks ago at this point, and all Brynn had gotten was that “they didn’t have chemistry.”
What did that even mean?
She was desperate to know what Hallie liked. And if there was a world in which it could be something that Brynn had to offer.
Finally, Hallie stepped back from the table and made eye contact. “It’s okay. I appreciate your concern, really, but I licked my wounds while talking to Sydney. I’m over it. I promise. I’m just not champing at the bit to get back out there.”
A stab of hurt coursed through Brynn at feeling on the outside of Hallie’s life. Especially when something was causing Hallie turmoil. “Sure. You should talk to whoever you feel most comfortable with.”
Instead of dwelling on the feeling hollowing out her chest, she walked down to the next table. Stained glass created scenes of—to very little surprise to her now, after they’d made it halfway through the vendors—coastal motifs.
“Hey,” Hallie said, coming to stand next to her. “I didn’t mean it like that. Sydney’s known me since I was eight. She’s seen me at my worst. And you… haven’t.”
“How would I, if you don’t let me be there for you?” Brynn asked, genuinely confused.