Chapter 18 #2
Brynn felt the tell-tale twinge of guilt cut through her, and she tried to breathe through it.
She wasn’t doing anything wrong. There was nothing wrong with living her life for herself when so many people didn’t even get the chance.
The realization hit her swiftly. “Why don’t we ever talk about Bridget? ”
She could have heard a pin drop as the entire mood of the room shifted.
Her dad cleared his throat. “We talk about her.”
Brynn shook her head. “You can say her name, Dad. And no, we don’t talk about her. I wish we did, though. I wish that it felt like it was okay for me to tell you both how much I miss her and how much I know that you do, too.”
Her mom started wringing her hands, an action that was only allayed when her dad grabbed onto one and scooted closer to his wife on the sofa. “It’s a hard thing,” he admitted, his voice cracking as he did so.
“Is that how you feel?” her mom asked, tears already in her eyes. “You never told us.”
In her family, the rule was that you could talk about anything as long as you never talked about the one thing. It created the illusion that they were happy, well-adjusted. But a piece had been carved out, excised through grief, and, for Brynn, at least, it had upended everything.
And now, she could feel the prickle of tears behind her own eyes.
She hadn’t intended to share her feelings about Bridget out loud, but now they were out, and just like last night, she didn’t want to take them back.
Good things happened when she was brave; she needed to remember that.
“I can still remember how upset you both were after she was gone. For so long. And you didn’t talk about her.
” Her voice faltered, but she pushed on.
“But she’s still here. She’s always here. Whether you voice your grief or not.”
“Honey, come here.” Her dad gestured to her from the sofa, where he was making space again between him and her mom.
Brynn sat down, tears streaming down her face, too.
“I was just always so afraid that you’d get sad again, so I’ve always tried to do everything I can to make sure that I’m never the cause of it.
But I want to be able to talk about Bridget.
And I want to be able to tell you anything and everything about my life without feeling guilty that it will disappoint you.
” Brynn took a steadying breath, unable to get the words out fast enough to keep up with her racing brain.
“And I know that one’s on me as much as either of you. ”
Brynn looked at her mom and then her dad, everyone’s eyes now wet with tears.
She hiccuped, but that wasn’t going to slow her down.
She was committed to seeing this through.
“ I promise you, I’m not this breakable thing.
Even when I mess up or make mistakes, I’m going to be okay.
I met someone,” she said, smiling in spite of all the intense emotions swirling through her, “and she’s so wonderful.
I think that you’d both really like her.
She’s Sydney’s best friend and works with Reese.
Well, she works with me, too, technically, and she’s just so incredible.
I think you’ll really love her when you meet her. ”
She didn’t stop talking until she ran out of air. She had sucked in another gulp to keep going when—
“You’re dating again?” her dad asked. He seemed, shockingly, elated by the idea.
Tilting her head to the side, she said, “Yes. I’ve been dating for the past couple months.”
“Oh, thank god.”
This caused Brynn to spin her head around, leveling her mom with a confused look. “What?”
“Well, honey… you blew up your rehearsal dinner in a very public way. Then you ran off to Louisiana and breezed back into town, only to run off again. We were worried about you. And contrary to popular belief, apparently, we know that you’re not breakable.
But we won’t pretend that we weren’t concerned for you.
It was a lot to go through. A lot to find out. ”
“So you’re fine with me moving to Stoneport?
” This conversation had more twists and turns than even Brynn’s brain could handle.
She was trying to keep up, but it was hard.
The sensation that was woven throughout, though, was that this was all good.
And she’d have never been brave enough to do it if she hadn’t gone to Stoneport. If she hadn’t met Hallie.
Her dad spoke then. “All we want is for you to be happy, even if parts of your happiness mean that we’re sad because we miss you.
And we know that’s what you want for us, too.
But we couldn’t heal your heart for you, no matter how much we wanted to.
You’re right, though…” She felt his hand encircle her own.
“We should talk about Bridget. It’s not fair to you to expect you to handle your feelings in the same way that we managed ours. ”
Part of Brynn wanted to feel embarrassed that she’d assumed that, for so long, her parents would be anything but gracious and supportive when she decided to be honest with them, but the bigger part of her was just so grateful to even have parents like them in the first place.
She never wanted to lose sight of how lucky she was in that respect.
She wiped away a rogue tear and hiccuped again. “I love you both. And I’m not going to be very far away. I think this is a good next step for all of us.”
“We can easily get up to Stoneport at least once or twice a—” Brynn leveled her dad with a stare, at which point he amended to: “We’ll figure it out, honey.”
“But we do want to meet whoever you’re dating,” her mom piped in. “If that’s something that you’re open to having happen.”
The truth was, Brynn couldn’t wait to bring Hallie into her overbearing, emotionally intense family. There was a very good chance that it would be great for both of them.
Hallie bounded up to the host station, hand in hand with Brynn. “My girlfriend and I have a reservation under Thatcher for seven o’clock.”
They’d made it to the restaurant with five minutes to spare, though it could have been more if they hadn’t gotten a little…
distracted before they’d left. But if toe-curling makeouts against the door were why people were late in this world, Brynn was finally starting to find the ability to give them a little bit of grace.
The host smiled, then grabbed two menus from a shelf nearby. “Follow me.”
Brynn had gotten home a little over an hour ago, and she’d gone straight to her bedroom to shower and get ready. If she hadn’t, there was no way they’d have made it out of the apartment.
A decision that she’d been wholly affirmed in when, a few minutes before they’d needed to leave, Hallie had walked out of her own bedroom, looking so beautiful that Brynn could have just sat on the sofa, staring at her all night.
She was dressed in a pair of black, high-waisted slacks and a black top that left a small sliver of her stomach exposed.
Brynn’s mouth had watered at the sight. It hadn’t helped that Hallie’s shirt was cut low, an enticing amount of cleavage on display for Brynn to stare at during dinner.
Because apparently she was the type of person who did that now.
At least, with the only person who’d ever captured her attention enough to drive her wild.
And to complete the look… “This blazer looks perfect on you,” Brynn had said, as she’d indulgently run her fingers down the silken lapels.
She’d already been thinking about easing it off of Hallie’s shoulders later and peppering kisses against all the expanses of skin that would become available to her.
If Hallie’s goal tonight was to give Brynn a test of endurance, she was succeeding handily.
Especially when she’d given Brynn a slightly embarrassed smile and run her fingers over Brynn’s cashmere sweater. “You look beautiful. So, so beautiful.”
The words had been so soaked in earnestness that Brynn’s stomach had fluttered chaotically.
All she’d meant to do was give Hallie a kiss to show her appreciation for the thoughtful compliment.
Also, maybe a little bit because she hadn’t kissed those lips since the morning, which had felt way too long in the grand scheme of things.
Had it been Brynn’s fault that she’d backed Hallie up against the front door, not breaking the kiss? Or had it been Hallie’s fault that she’d inched her fingers under Brynn’s sweater so that she had Brynn by her hips, pulling them closer together?
Maybe it was one of life’s great mysteries that would never get an answer. For once, Brynn was okay with that.
Either way, she couldn’t find even an ounce of regret. Especially as she’d finally pulled back—only because she knew that, deep down, Hallie would be devastated if they missed their reservation—and stared at Hallie’s wet lips and lidded eyes.
Hallie was the most beautiful person, inside and out, that she’d ever met. She was going to be the most beautiful woman in that restaurant tonight. And the craziest part was that this gorgeous creature had agreed to be Brynn’s girlfriend!
The thing was, Hallie could have been dressed in a pair of sweats and a hoodie, and Brynn would have felt the same way. She just wanted Hallie. No matter what she wore. No matter what they were doing. No matter what else was happening around them.
Still, she was glad they’d made it out of the apartment.
The restaurant was gorgeous and surprisingly big, on prime real estate, right on the wharf.
At the back of the restaurant, running along the wall, were dozens of tables.
Directly to the left of where they had walked in, a few steps led up to a lounge area, which housed a bar that ran across the length of the restaurant.