Chapter 15
Fifteen
DAMON
Will was in shock. Not every man could take a life and easily move past it.
I wasn’t any better my first time. I felt like no matter how hard I scrubbed, I couldn’t get the blood off my hands.
He was reacting no differently than I had.
He stayed camped outside the girls’ room for days and only moved when the little one begged him to come into the room with her.
His gaze was distant, like he wasn’t truly there, and I saw him look down at his hands more than once, like he was looking for blood that wasn’t there any more.
It was still on his clothes, though, and the reminder didn’t help.
By day three, I was starting to worry about him. If he didn’t learn to face what had happened, he would forever be haunted by it. I headed past the kitchen to the surgeon’s room, not bothering to knock before I opened the door. He was deep in a book and wouldn’t have heard me anyway.
“Kendrick.”
He looked up, blinking a few times like he hadn’t in a while. “Captain. I assume you’re here because of Will.”
My brow furrowed, and he waved away my confusion. “I’ve gotten a few queries here and there. He’s well liked by the crew.”
If it had been any other situation, I would’ve felt good about that.
I could admit to myself that I wanted Will to stick around.
And not only because I wanted a piece of him.
He was a loyal man. He’d make a good pirate.
We could always use men like him aboard the ship.
If he could pull out of his head, that is.
“What do we do to help him?”
Kendrick shook his head. “Not a lot you can do, Captain. He’s got to learn to accept it. It isn’t like the rest of the crew. He didn’t take a life during a raid. To save that girl, he had no choice in the matter. He’ll either learn to accept what happened or he won’t. It’s up to him.”
“That’s not good enough,” I growled. “He’s a fuckin’ statue. He barely even blinks anymore. And he’s not sleeping either. He sits up against their cabin door and glares at the world until someone comes around to bring them their food. He won’t pull out of this on his own.”
“Well, unless you know a way to get through to him and get him to relax, I’m not sure what you want me to tell you.
He’s not injured, aside from some bruising and a minor cut.
Didn’t even need any stitches. It’s in his head that’s the issue, and medicine hasn’t reached the point where we can fix stuff like that. ”
I gritted my teeth, frustrated. There had to be something.
“Maybe getting the girls out of that room might help,” he suggested offhandedly.
“He keeps them trapped in there, which means he’s too busy protecting them to sort through it himself.
If they’re feeling up to returning to the deck, he might let go of that stance a little.
” He tipped his head, considering it. “Or it might make things worse. Who knows?”
I resisted the urge to pummel him. He was being too damn cavalier about this.
But I couldn’t ask more of him than I already had.
He wasn’t technically trained as a surgeon, anyway.
He was a carpenter before he came aboard.
He learned what he could to avoid chopping off limbs and the like, but he couldn’t fix everything.
Especially when it was Will’s mind that was the problem.
Leaving him, I headed back to the deck. I was going to figure out how to get Will out of his head one way or another. I didn’t care if he hated me for it in the end.
The crew was busy when I stepped onto the deck. We were short two men, and Will and the Davenport children weren’t helping out anymore, either. It made for a busy day. I ignored them, heading for the cabin the children were held in.
Will was leaning against the wall beside the door, and I could see the fatigue in his face, but he straightened when I came closer and bared his teeth in warning. “What do you want?”
I ignored him, pointing a finger in his face when he moved to block me. “This is my ship, boy. Keep pushin’ me and you can spend the rest of this journey in the brig. I wonder how well you can protect them from down there.”
It was enough to get him to back off. He glowered at me but didn’t stop me from pushing the door open and stepping inside.
Henry was playing a game with the little one, while the older one laid in bed with a book.
I’d asked Kendrick about her wellbeing the day she was attacked.
She had some bumps and bruises, but Will showed up before they could truly hurt her.
She was frightened, which was expected, but not injured.
Henry stood when I came in, glaring at me. “What?”
“I didn’t give the order to keep you cooped up in here. You can join the crew on the deck.”
He looked suspicious, his arms crossed over his chest. “Let me guess. We can’t stay out there unless we’re working?”
“Did I say that?” I snapped. “You’ll get back to work eventually. Everyone pulls their weight on my ship. But for now, I’m giving you the choice to stay cooped up in here or come out.” My gaze shifted to the eldest girl. “It’ll be good for you to get some fresh air.”
She looked wary, but I could tell the little one wanted to go, and Henry didn’t like being cooped up. Now that he had my permission not to work, he kept eyeing the door. The eldest girl gave in to the eager looks in her siblings’ eyes, nodding uncertainly.
“Okay…”
Will was pissed that I’d even offered, and when I stepped out, it looked like he was considering starting something with me for allowing them out of their rooms.
“They should stay in their room,” he protested. “It isn’t safe.”
“They were safe enough for weeks before now. And you killed the two who threatened her. They’ll be fine.”
He flinched at the reminder, and it shocked him enough that the children could get past him without his interference. I hated the look on his face, the regret and the pain. He did what was right. I would’ve done it myself if I’d gotten there first.
“Will…”
He snapped out of it and stormed off without another word. Maybe Davis was right, and I was going soft. If anyone else on my crew acted that way, I’d put a boot up their ass. I didn’t want to do that to Will. I wanted to help him get past it.
The children settled after a while. They stayed in the shade, listening to stories from the crew and enjoying the nice weather.
Not a cloud in the sky. The Caribbean was balmy, and the breeze was enough that we weren’t sweltering.
Even the eldest girl relaxed after a time.
With her siblings and Will nearby, she felt safe enough.
She sat nearby, watching her siblings play and listening to the crew tell jokes.
It might take a while before she moved past what happened, but she’d be home soon enough.
And no one else in my crew was stupid enough to touch her again.
It was Will who wouldn’t relax. He hovered and wouldn’t let any of the crew near them.
Anyone who tried, even Jameson bringing them their lunch, would get snarled at, and Will would whip out that damn dagger.
I thought he’d feel safer if I left him with it, but I didn’t like him using it to threaten my crew.
Finally, when Lockhart brought the girls some books he had stashed in his room and Will refused to let him get close enough to hand them over, I lost my patience. I stormed down the stairs onto the deck, shoving Will away from his charges. “That’s enough out of you.”
He swung around, snarling at me, but I refused to let him speak.
“No. They aren’t in any danger right now. Not with me and Lockhart watching over them. Threaten my crew again, and I’ll have you hanged. I need them for a payout. I don’t get shit for keeping you alive.”
“Fuck. You.”
That was stupid. He disrespected me in front of my crew, and I was done letting him get away with it.
I advanced on him, and he barely withdrew his weapon before I was on him, one hand gripping his wrist hard enough to make him flinch.
He still didn’t have enough fighting experience to go up against me.
Still, he fought hard, trying to wriggle free of my grasp, until I twisted his arm behind his back.
I pulled hard enough that his hand spasmed, and he dropped the dragger, his teeth gritted against the pain.
“You’re going to pay for that,” I growled in his ear. “My cabin. Now.”