Chapter 19 #3
He squared his shoulders. Now came the hard part. “Miss Willis has said that the women would be willing to help us rebuild. So I’ve decided to offer them a compensation for their help.” He paused. “I’m giving them another month to choose their husbands.”
First there was a startled silence. Then a low rumbling began among his men, and their faces grew dark and disapproving. Barnaby looked at him as if he were mad, though Silas seemed surprisingly calm.
Gideon held up his hand for silence. “I know some of the women have already found potential husbands, and if they wish to go ahead and marry, they may do so. But as for the rest of the women, we’ll be busy rebuilding, and it’s only fair that they not be forced to deal with the additional complications of married life while they’re helping us. ”
At last he dared to look at Sara. Her mouth gaped open. Ann rushed to her side, her face wreathed in smiles, but Sara just stared at him. To his surprise, there was no hint of triumph on her face. Just a shock that slowly changed to gratefulness.
He tore his gaze from her. She had nothing to be grateful for, though she didn’t know it.
One way or the other, she would be his. He was probably mad to want to marry her, given his past. But it was the only way to have her.
Already she felt guilty over what they’d done together.
He’d seen it in her eyes this morning. The only way to get rid of that kind of guilt in a woman was to marry her.
“We’ll all be sleeping aboard the ship now,” he continued, “unless some of you want to pitch tents or spend your evenings lying on the beach under the stars. Otherwise everything is the same as before. The men will treat the women with respect and honor their wishes. Is this agreeable to all?”
He fell silent, waiting for the storm of protest to begin.
But except for a few token complaints, the men seemed to have accepted his announcement.
Perhaps they too had seen the wisdom of it.
Some of them might even be having trouble with their own women.
Perhaps they all needed more time to reach an agreement.
“Barnaby will be in charge of making assignments concerning the rebuilding, and Silas will oversee the unloading of the sloop. As for the women, I’ll consult with Miss Willis on how they can help. That’s all. You’re dismissed.”
As he climbed down the steps to the deck, he looked for Sara, but she was surrounded by women asking her questions. Then he spotted Barnaby making for him, a scowl on his face. Gideon waited for his first mate to reach him.
“What in bloody hell is going on with you?” Barnaby said, with more than his usual impertinence. “First you agree to send half the men off for supplies, and now you postpone the weddings. I say we just marry the women and get the bloody thing over with, then think about building houses!”
“Yes, and we both know the extent of your experience with women,” Gideon retorted. “You bed them and toss them aside. Well, you can treat mistresses that way, Barnaby, but you can’t do that with wives.”
“And since when do you know how to treat a wife? When was the last time you had even a mistress for more than a month?”
“It’s true, I know.” Gideon looked past Barnaby to where Sara stood, her hair shining in the morning sun like ribbons of fire. “But that’s something I intend to remedy.”
Barnaby followed his gaze with a scowl. “I knew it. It’s that woman again. She’s gotten to you.” When Gideon didn’t answer, Barnaby added, “Is that who you plan to marry? Do you truly think that stiff-necked prude will choose you?”
Gideon suppressed a smile at Barnaby’s none-too-apt description of Sara. “Given time, she’ll choose me. You can be certain of that.”
“Ah, so that’s what this is all about. You’re giving yourself time to court ‘milady.’ I suppose that means the rest of us can forget about her.”
He shot Barnaby an assessing glance. “Didn’t you just dismiss her as a ‘stiff-necked prude’?”
“Some men like prudes, you know.”
Gideon saw red. “Not if I can help it. You let the men know that Sara Willis is mine. None of them are allowed to even kiss her cheek, understand?”
Barnaby held up his hands in surrender. “Of course, captain. Don’t worry. Nobody is fool enough to try to steal your woman.”
Your woman. He liked the sound of that. “Good. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I wish to have a word with ‘my woman.’”
With that, he left Barnaby’s side and strolled over to where Sara stood speaking with Louisa.
“Louisa, would you leave us, please?” he said when the two women turned to look at him. “I need to speak to Sara alone.”
“Certainly,” Louisa muttered, though he noticed she kept her eyes on him as she moved out of earshot.
He scowled at her until she hastened off down the deck. Then he turned his attention to Sara. “That woman never lets you out of her sight. What is she, your protector?”
“She just worries about me, that’s all.”
“Well, she needn’t worry about you anymore. I’m looking out for you now.”
A soft smile transformed Sara’s face. “Yes, I can see that. Truly, Gideon, it was so kind of you to give us more time. You won’t regret it. It will be better for everyone. You’ll see.”
He stared at her intently. “For you, too?”
She blushed. “Yes, of course.” She glanced away, touching her fingers to the locket she always wore. “There’s something I must discuss with you, Gideon. I . . . that is . . . what happened last night . . . I don’t think it should be repeated.”
“You mean, the fire?” he asked, deliberately being obtuse. He couldn’t believe she was saying this to him, especially after his grand gesture!
Her gaze shot back to his. “You know quite well I’m not talking about the fire. I mean, us sharing a bed. It’s not proper for—”
“It’s a little late to be concerned about proprieties, don’t you think?”
“Perhaps. But I still think we shouldn’t . . . repeat last night.” When he cast her a look of complete incredulity, she hastened to add, “If we’re to consider marrying, then we need to know each other better, and I don’t mean in bed. I can’t think straight when you’re making love to me—”
“Good.”
“It’s not good. Marriage is a lifetime decision. I want to make it with a clear mind.”
“I can clear your mind,” he growled and reached for her.
But she shrank back from him. “No! That’s exactly what I mean. You want to make me forget about everything but you. Then I’ll find myself married to you and wondering how it happened. I don’t want that. I want to know what I’m doing when I agree to marry you.”
Confound the woman. Why must she always be thinking about everything? Why couldn’t she be like other women, content to let a man sweep her off her feet?
He stopped short. That was exactly what his mother had done—and what a disaster that had been. No, Gideon didn’t want history to repeat itself. He wanted Sara not to have any regrets once she agreed to marry him.
Still, he’d be damned if that meant not touching her or kissing her or having her in his bed.
He’d give her plenty of time to think . .
. but that didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy each other occasionally in the meantime.
He just had to make her realize that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. And there was only one way to do that.
“All right, Sara. We can get to know each other. We can rebuild Atlantis and talk and never once touch, if that’s what you wish.” At her startled look, he lowered his tone. “I don’t think that’s really what you wish. But I’m willing to let you find that out for yourself.”
He paused, giving her time to think about what he’d said. “Let me warn you, however. When you change your mind—and you will—it’ll be your turn to come to me. Because the next time we make love, you’ll have to be the one to ask.”
Then summoning all the strength of will he possessed, he turned his back and walked away.