Chapter 8 #2
I looked down and caught the shift—her shoulders tightening, the way her eyes darted toward the opening of the tunnel.
Her usual unflappable confidence disappeared in a second and my chest ached with the sad, unsure look on her face.
I barely knew how to handle loud and chaotic Cassidy, but this quiet, worried one struck me speechless.
Then I saw it. She fidgeted with an old baseball cap and I knew exactly who it belonged too—her dad. It was beat up and sun-faded, clashing slightly with the rest of her polished look.
And suddenly we weren’t on a PR walk. We were in that team store again. Her face pale. Her breathing off. Her pain so raw it cracked through her smile. That open grief, so raw and so powerful, had me reaching over to put a hand on her shoulder.
“You alright?” I asked, my voice lower now, the sarcasm stripped out.
Cassidy blinked fast and tugged the brim of the cap a little lower. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just … he would’ve loved this, you know? Seeing me here.” Her voice shook, her eyes glazing over. “God, what I would do to get one more game with him.”
I didn’t say anything at first. Because I didn’t have words that would matter.
But I nudged her shoulder gently, then reached out and tugged a loose thread on the end of her sleeve—not to fix it. Just to touch something. “Then let’s give him this one.”
Her eyes fluttered shut and she took a long deep breath, adjusting her stance so her shoulders went back and it was fascinating to observe her put up her walls and that’s what it hit me …
Cassventures was a purposeful act. God, I could barely do that and I had full mental health coaches.
Cassidy exhaled for a few seconds then stared at the spot where my hand rested on her. I immediately took it back.
“Okay lover boy, let’s do this thing.”
“Are you sure you don’t need more time?” I asked, still confused how she did that. How did she go from unsure and nervous, back to this upbeat, lifes-all-good person? Her strength was admirable. “We can wait a few more minutes.”
“Nah, don’t need it.” She didn’t wait for me before walking further down the tunnel and toward the field, but she paused when I didn’t follow her. “I can’t do this alone. That defeats the purpose.”
“You weren’t okay a second ago and now you are. How … I want to make sure you’re alright before we go out. There’s a lot of pressure there, the sounds, the lights. Its overwhelming.”
“How precious. Some might think you care about me.” She smirked and winked before spinning around and practically skipping toward the field.
I didn’t like her carefree attitude. She clearly was masking her pain and yeah, I gave her zero reason to trust me.
“Oh, Pavin! Hi! It is so nice seeing you again.”
Well fuck that.
I jogged to meet her at the entrance to the field, where my former friend had his arms around her in a huge embrace. I cleared my throat, noting how more relaxed Cassidy was with him than she was with me. Her shoulders weren’t stiff, her smile was real. He got her real smiles and I got the fakes.
Why did that cause an unpleasant knot in my gut?
“You tell me if this guy does anything rude, alright? He might be older but I can still kick his ass.”
Cassidy giggled—the sound grating on me—as she grinned. “We can’t have him getting hurt though so better go easy on him.”
“I’m right fucking here.”
“It’s okay, big guy.” She patted my forearm with the sparkle I started to love in her eyes. “Pavin, thank you for the baseball with the quote. Truly. I went to visit my dad and dropped it off. It was exactly what I needed.” She swallowed so hard, her throat bobbed.
“Of course. I’m glad I could share it with you.” Pavin smiled hard at her. I had never seen the kid smile that big or weird before. I had to stop this. Whatever it was.
“Move along, Pavin.”
“Right.” Pavin caught my eye and smirked. “Next time you wanna date a baseball guy, pick me, okay? I’m way more fun.”
Cassidy’s eyes lit up. “I guarantee that’s true.”
He winked before jogging ahead, leaving me with the bane of my existence yet again. “Do you ever not flirt?”
“Do you ever smile? Enjoy life?” she fired right back.
“Of course I do. Just not with you around,” I mumbled, instantly regretting the words.
She flinched and I felt a twinge of regret.
“Cassidy, wait, I’m sorry—”
“Don’t worry about it.” She did the same masking thing she did earlier. “I know I’m not your favorite person. You aren’t mine either. Let’s just do what Lauren asked us to and then I can be out of your hair.”
“It’s not—”
“Seriously, its fine.” She gave me a tight smile, not the one she did Pavin or Lauren or everyone fucking else.
She reserved this fake ass smile for me.
She took a few steps toward the field when I stopped her.
I gently grabbed her elbow and turned her toward me, noting how warm her skin was and how her lips parted from my touch.
“I know I’m grumpy and can be an asshole, but I also know when I was mean for no reason. I’m sorry.”
“For saying it, sure, but you mean it, Nate. Maybe I was taking the teasing too far, but it was a nice reminder than you and I aren’t friends.” She glanced down just for a second. The only sign of her discomfort, before her mask was back on. “Do I have any lipstick on my teeth?”
She opened her mouth and clenched her teeth together, looking like a feral cat as she stared at me. I shook my head, still trying to figure out why her words pained me.
“You look great.”
“Don’t I always?” she teased, then didn’t wait a beat before running onto the field. All I could do was follow.