Chapter 11 #2
“You and me both, buddy.”
He almost laughed, but he leaned further onto the couch and rested his arm on the back. His fingers dangled an inch from my shoulder and I tensed, waiting for contact. It never came, and it was weird how I was disappointed.
Nate looked way to comfortable in my condo but in a strange way, he also fit.
I filed that away for later because my mind was barely hanging on with all these conflicting feelings around him.
I had to wonder what it looked like from his viewpoint.
I wasn’t normally this self-conscious but I rarely let anyone in my personal space.
“But I really need to earn trophy with the GM. I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen, my own ego be dammed.
I will do anything to for the team.” His voice lowered, everything about him screaming with seriousness.
“I’ll get you whatever you want. Gear, tour, I’m not sure what you’d like out of this, but name it. Money?”
I opened my mouth to reply with something sarcastic—probably about how a luxury spa package and a full year of free ballpark pretzels would do it—but the words didn’t come. He offered me money and throwing away his ego to be with me … cool. Just another hit to the chest.
His attention moved toward the table where my ring light and notes were. “It’s five weeks left and I’d like it if we let this play out.”
“Alright.” I swallowed, adjusting the pillow on my lap again. I could remain true to my word, not back out of the deal. Before I could say more, my phone buzzed loudly against the glass table. Then again, and again. “What in the?”
It was a full-blown notification avalanche.
I leaned over, grabbed it, and immediately froze.
“Cassventures new video: I’m not okay (and that’s okay).”
Shit.
“No, no, no—dammit,” I muttered, scrambling to open the app.
My finger must’ve brushed the screen when I got up.
I hadn’t meant to post it. It was supposed to be a draft.
A private moment never meant for public consumption or when I was feeling better about literally everything, then I’d decide if I wanted to share it with the word.
Views were already climbing. Comments were flooding in. Hundreds of interactions all within twenty minutes.
Nate shifted closer, concern evident on his voice. “What is it?”
“My post. From earlier.” I stood and fought the urge to cry.
This was personal and not my brand. It wasn’t what I curated for myself at all.
My mind went to all the brand deals I had and how my usual giggly fun adventuring persona would be on pause.
I panic-deleted it immediately. “Fuck, this isn’t good. ”
“Let me see.” He gently grabbed my forearm and took my phone from my hands, his fingers grazing my palm as those damn green eyes softened. “I’m sure it’s okay.”
“It’s not! That is personal and embarrassing.” I pulled at the end of my sleeves, my voice shaking as notifications continued to blow up. “No one was supposed to see it. I’m a mess. I’m crying.”
“Cass.” His voice was calm. Firm. “Deep breath. Drink your coffee for me.”
I hated to admit I liked him taking control. I sat back down, closer to him this time, and sipped the drink as my heart raced. “Let me make sure I deleted it.”
“Hold on a second.” He shifted his weight, his thick thigh rubbing against mine as he turned the phone sideways and hit play. It was still live. My voice played in my living room and I couldn’t watch. My knee bounced with frantic energy, but Nate put a hand on my bare knee and stilled me.
The heat from his hand seeped into my skin, warming me up from the connection. It had been months since someone sat with me on this couch. That was the only reason I sucked in a breath from his touch.
“Cass, you sound like someone who loved deeply and lost hard. That’s not weakness. That’s real. Look at the comments coming in, people saying they are going through the same thing and how its so refreshing to see someone being honest.” Nate stared at me so hard, so intently my throat closed.
He set my phone down on the table, releasing his hold on my leg and met my gaze head on. “This … is brave,” he said, echoing the word he used last night. “You didn’t sugarcoat it. You didn’t filter it. And people are going to see this and feel less alone because of it. That’s incredible.”
I blinked at him, suddenly aware of how close he was. How his knee brushed mine. How the sincerity in his voice made everything ache a little less.
“If you’re sticking with the deal,” he said, softer now, “then I’ll make sure you get to honor your dad with every single baseball superstition and bit I can think of. I promise.”
I stared at him, heart thudding, unsure whether to kiss him or cry. Thankfully, I didn’t have to choose because he pushed up from the couch and headed toward the door. “Call me if you need to, okay? I’ll pick you up here tomorrow before we head to the hospital for our bit.”
Immediately, the urge to push back returned. I needed space from this man. “I can meet you there.”
“Not doing this again with you,” he said, his eyes flashing as he leaned against my doorframe. “I’m picking you up. I’ll call when I head here.”
“You’re bossy, you know that?”
“Yeah, but you seem to like it.” Then he winked and shut my door, leaving me completely speechless.