Chapter 18 #2
“Were those cooking in your brain or did you come up with those on the spot?” I was on the road to my place, unplanned, yet her idea about watching baseball movies hit home. I used to do that with my dad when I had a shit game in high school.
We’d watch the classics and once they were over, he’d have me go back in the yard and keep going. I hadn’t done that in years and having Cassidy with me too? Yeah, that sounded fucking better than the pity party.
“On the spot. I’m wildly talented in the moment,” she said, smirking.
But her voice dipped a little at the end, like she wasn’t sure if she’d gone too far.
She said it with a smile, but there was a flicker of something behind her eyes.
I wanted to dissect that look, beg to hear what had her smile dim even for a second with me.
“So,” she said, watching the streetlights flicker across the windshield. “What’s your choice?”
I didn’t even hesitate. “Movies and carbs,” I said, keeping my eyes on the road so I didn’t have to admit how fast the words came out. “But I pick the movies. I’m not letting you slander my childhood with a Kevin Costner ban.”
She laughed, bright and victorious, and I swore I felt it down to my ribs.
“And we’re going to my place,” I added, stealing a glance at her. “Because if I’m letting you mock my snack drawer, I at least deserve control of the remote.”
Her lips curved slowly, like she knew exactly what she was doing to me. “Fine. But I’m still filming a sad cooking montage. For the brand.”
I shook my head, already resigned. “Just keep me out of the crying shots.”
“No promises.”
Right before we hit the turn onto my street, the silence stretched—not heavy, but thick enough that I felt the pressure of it in my chest. I kept my hands tight on the wheel, stealing glances at her when I could.
She was humming something under her breath, fingers tracing the hem of my jersey she still wore.
Her legs were tucked under her again, like she belonged in my truck, in my space.
Her lips were curved up on one side, like she was one second away from laughing and it was so joyful.
Those damn lips would be the death of me with her sassy comebacks and smiles.
Just glancing at her mouth had me thinking about two days ago.
I wanted to bring up the kiss. God, I wanted to bring up the kiss.
The way her mouth had wrecked me. The way I hadn’t stopped thinking about it since.
But I didn’t want to scare her off. Not when she was with me after I was an asshole.
She also hadn’t mentioned it, which was strange.
Fuck. I gripped the back of my neck, nervous.
I was almost forty and was nervous about talking about a kiss. Who was I?
But how could we not talk about it before we’re alone … in my condo?
“That kiss … two days ago,” I started, clearing my throat when her teeth came down on her bottom lip. “Was it just adrenaline?”
She didn’t look at me at first. Then she shrugged, mouth tilted just enough to make it hard to tell if she was being flirty or evasive. “Maybe. Maybe not. But I don’t think we should talk about it tonight, O’Brien.”
I nodded, jaw tight, even though every part of me wanted to pull over and demand answers. “Why not?”
“Because if we talk about it, you’ll get that look again, and next thing I know we’re making out on your kitchen counter. And I’m trying to be nonchalant and chill.”
I almost laughed. “First off, you’re never chill. And, I don’t see the problem here.”
She sighed but it wasn’t with stress. It was a cute little huff that had me glancing at her again. ““Because if I admit what it meant, you might look at me like I’m more than a PR stunt or game. And I’m not ready for that.”
“Ever or right now?”
“I don’t know.” She swallowed hard and twisted her fingers together. “I’m not playing games with you. I have no ulterior motive. I care about you, more than I thought. The kiss was … yeah, but I’m not … I’m still figuring out me in this new chapter.”
“I understand.” It’s not like I was promising a damn thing.
We had chemistry, that was for damn sure, but she was ten years younger than me.
She was in her prime, and I was leaving mine.
Relationships were always a burden rather than a gift and it wasn’t like I was offering one.
But what she said felt like a blow. My chest ached with disappointment but I cleared my throat, refusing to show it.
“I mean, was it one of the best kisses of my life, sure. Have I thought about your mouth a million times? Also yes. Do I want to know if that was a fluke or not? Hell yes.”
“Cassidy,” I barked out. “I thought we aren’t talking about it?”
“Oh, right.” She giggled and pulled her knees to her chest. “You sound grumpy again.”
“I don’t do well with wanting something I can’t have.”
“And you want to kiss me again?”
“Cassidy,” I said through gritted teeth. I pulled into the gated parking garage, shooting her a glare. “For someone who said they don’t want to talk about it, you keep bringing it up.”
“Yeah, you’re right. But this has taken your mind off the game, yes?” Then she winked.
This gorgeous, mysterious perfect woman winked at me, damn near ensuring I’d do anything to kiss her again.
I had no idea when it happened, but one thing was for sure—this whole fake dating thing with her was starting to not feel fake at all and I couldn’t help but feel that I was setting myself up for heartbreak.