Chapter 25 #2
He leaned in slightly, his voice dropping. “You’re not used to being taken seriously, are you?”
That pulled me up short.
“I’m used to being taken for entertainment,” I said after a beat. “I’m the fun friend, the content girl. I’m disposable when the algorithm changes.”
Nate didn’t look away. “I don’t see you like that and I don’t think you see yourself clearly either.”
I fidgeted with my napkin. “That sounds suspiciously like a therapy line.”
He gave me a half-smile. “Amanda’s been making me listen to audiobooks. I’m evolving.”
That broke the tension just enough to make me laugh. “You? Evolving? What’s next—TikToks and emotional vulnerability?”
He shrugged, completely unbothered. “Already did the second one. Still working on the first.”
There was a beat of silence, but not the uncomfortable kind. It was more like space. Space for the truth to land.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, Nate,” I admitted.
“I’m still grieving. Still second-guessing everything.
But being here, with you, feels so good.
I feel so safe, which really matters to me.
I don’t want to commit to anything because I don’t know my future, but the thought of not doing this with you is physically painful. ”
His gaze softened, the bravado slipping a little. “I know what you mean. You don’t have to commit to anything, except two things.”
“That’s not zero. You should work on your pitch more,” I teased.
He rolled his eyes playfully, the gesture causing my heart to ache for him. It was so cute and unlike him, I smiled despite the utter fear of trusting myself with him. “Give us a chance. Give us time to figure it out. And, exclusivity.”
I barked out a laugh. “Yes, I gathered that from you.”
His eyes heated as he stared at me, then my mouth and chest. “Not sure if you believe me, but I never would’ve considered myself the jealous type.”
“Bullshit.” I grinned. “There is no way.”
“Baby, I’m not lying.” He leaned into his chair, eyeing me. “Every other partner in the past would flirt with anyone, or tease my teammates, and I’d ignore it. You look at someone else and I want to drag you away.”
I placed my chin on my hands, eating this up. “Should we unpack this?”
“No.”
I tilted my head, lips curving. “Mm, this is too much fun. So, it sounds like a classic case of selective possessiveness rooted in actual emotional investment. You’re not jealous because I flirt. You’re jealous because I matter to you.”
His jaw twitched and his eyes darkened.
I leaned forward, playful but firm. “You didn’t care before because they didn’t mean anything to you. But I do. And that scares the shit out of you.”
Then I smirked, sipping my drink like I hadn’t just cracked him wide open. “See? I can play therapist too, big guy.”
His mouth twitched, but he didn’t deny it. Instead, he reached across the table and slid his fingers around mine, his thumb grazing the inside of my wrist in slow, lazy circles.
“You do matter,” he said again, quieter this time. “I’m not scared because you matter. I just don’t want to mess this up.”
The way he said it … God. I felt it in my ribs.
I squeezed his hand, leaning closer. “Then don’t.”
He nodded, almost like a promise, before he released my wrist and leaned back into his chair. “Dating me can be tough.”
“Because of your general demeanor or age?”
He scoffed, but amusement danced on his green eyes. “So fucking bratty.”
“See, you say the words with so much adoration, they seem like a compliment.”
“The season is exhausting. The next day I have free for a dinner with you is weeks away. Finding pockets of time with you will be tricky.”
“We’ve seemed to find a way to hang out now just fine.”
“True.” He ran a hand over his jaw just as the food came out. The poor waiter didn’t make eye contact as he dropped off each of our meals and ran out of there. “But baseball has to be my sole focus.”
“Again, Nate, I’m not sure what this horrible pep talk is for. I want you to focus on your profession so you get another deal. I’d never demand or take that from you.” I dug into my mac and cheese and groan. “Holy shit, this is the best thing I’ve ever had.”
Nate’s gaze softened as he watched me eat.
“Want a bite?” I offered and I was certain he’d decline, but he leaned forward and opened his mouth. I fed Nate O’Brien a bite of mac and cheese and it was oddly erotic how his mouth closed around my spoon.
“Mm, yeah,” he said, licking the side of his mouth. “That is tasty.”
“So back to your weird speech. It sounds like you want us to try this thing between us, but no promises or expectations. I’m not ready to full invest and you have to focus on your game. So we keep this casual, light.”
He narrowed his eyes, his jaw ticking. “Light and casual. What does that mean?”
“We see each other when we can. Like tonight, it worked out.” My hand trembled a bit from nerves and adrenaline. My gut twisted, like this was a bigger moment and I’d regret it, but it felt right. “We just keep doing this when we want.”
“Hm.” He rubbed his lips together, his head tilting to the side as he studied me. He always stared at me like he saw nothing else and it was intoxicating.
I squired under his attention, desperate to know what he thought. “Can you say something besides hm?”
“The way I feel about you isn’t light or casual, so the concept of keeping it that way doesn’t appeal to me.”
I swallowed. His words sat heavy in my chest, warm and terrifying. I hadn’t been prepared for that kind of honesty from him.
“Well,” I said, pushing a piece of mac around my plate, “that makes one of us.”
His jaw ticked again, but he didn’t speak. Just waited. Let me fill the silence, which somehow made it worse.
“I’m not saying I don’t feel something, Nate,” I added, softer now.
“But I’m scared as hell of trusting the wrong person again.
Of falling into something that breaks me, again.
” I stabbed my fork into the mac and cheese again, needing something to do with my hands.
“I’ve had two devastating heartbreaks the last few months and I can’t … do it again.”
He nodded once, slow. “I get that.”
I glanced up. “Yeah?”
“I’ve hurt someone before,” he admitted, eyes fixed on mine. “Didn’t intend to. Thought I was doing the right thing by keeping distance, keeping focused on baseball and having a good time. I was a bit of a party guy, getting lost in the fame. I won’t do that again.”
My breath hitched. Not because I wanted him to say more, but because I suddenly understood what he wasn’t saying.
“I still want us to take it slow,” I said after a beat. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t care. I just don’t want to break again. I can’t.”
Nate’s expression didn’t soften, but something in it shifted. His hand reached across the table, his fingers curling around mine.
“Okay,” he said. Just that. No pushing. No persuasion. Just okay.
I exhaled, relief calming the tension wrapping around my heart. “I’m not used to someone being this patient.”
“I’m not used to waiting, but for the right person, pretty sure it’s worth it.”