5. Willa
Chapter five
Willa
“ G ood.”
That’s all he says, but the confident way in which he utters that single word speaks volumes. His smug smirk only reinforces my assumption that he's aware of my interest in him.
And he likes it. Maybe he even feels the same way.
Maggie and I were already in the bar when Nick entered, but he didn’t simply walk in.
He strode in like he owned the place. Head held high.
An arrogant tilt to his lips. A the world is my oyster vibe that rolled off him in waves.
So accustomed to being the center of attention, he didn’t even appear to notice that every woman in the bar had him in her sights.
Sure, he's exceedingly handsome but it’s more than that. Nick possesses that je ne sais quoi type of charisma that demands attention.
And he's certainly captured mine. But his proximity leaves me off-kilter. When he's near, my body is on high alert. My heart races, my palms grow clammy, and I forget to breath. But it isn't due to my anxiety. It's anticipation .
There's something about Nick that draws me to him.
Like my soul recognizes a kindred spirit, which is a silly thought.
We're more opposites attract than kindred spirits .
Nick is everything I am not. Self-assured.
Confident. Powerful. His privilege and virality radiate from him.
He's probably never had a day in his life where he suffered from self-doubt or anxiety, which is a marked difference from me.
Desperate not to overthink Nick’s comments any more than I already am, I ask, “So, where’s home for you? Because you’re obviously not American.” Cocking my head, I add, “Not British, though your accent is very similar.”
“I’m from a small country in Europe called Belgrovinia.”
“I’ve actually visited Belgrovinia once a few years ago. We had a short film shoot for the final installment of the Midnight Vampires trilogy.”
“Now that you mention it, I remember that. I’m impressed you recognized I wasn’t British. Most people can't hear the slight differences in our accents.”
“My mum is British, so I’m familiar with the British dialects,” I shrug.
“How’d she wind up in the States?”
“My dad attended Oxford for his doctorate degree, and they met there. Fell in love, got married, and moved to North Carolina when my dad received a job offer at a university here.”
“Only child?”
“God, I wished I was an only child throughout most of adolescence, but no, I have four older brothers.”
“ Four older brothers? Protective bunch, are they?”
I smile wryly, shaking my head. “You have no idea.”
“That must have made your dating life difficult. ”
“Try nonexistent,” I scoff with a chuckle.
“My brothers terrorized any boy who showed me an ounce of interest. I lived for the day when my brothers all left for college, so I could finally go on a date without one of them threatening the poor guy. But then, I was offered a role in Midnight Vampires and soon after, I dropped out of high school and moved permanently to LA.” I wave my hand through the air.
“But enough about me. I'd like to find out more about you. Especially because you’re at an advantage since you probably already know a little about my life. "
Nick inclines my head and admits, “I do know a bit. For instance, I know my older brother had quite a crush on you at the height of the Midnight Vampires craze."
When he leans in, I catch a whiff of his cologne. It's spicy and exotic, much like Nick himself. Without conscious thought, I inhale deeply, committing his scent to memory.
"Only your brother?" I implore impulsively with a wave of bravery I don't usually possess. "You didn't have a crush?"
A roguish grin blooms across Nick’s face. "I didn't say that."
I tilt my head, waiting for Nick to say more, but when he doesn’t, I switch the subject, even though I really want to know if he’s as attracted to me as I am to him. “What is it that you do, Nick?”
“I finished my graduate business degree last month, and I hope to go into international relations.”
“In Belgrovinia or elsewhere?”
“Belgrovinia. That’s where the family business is located, so that’s where I’ll be working primarily. At least for the next few years.”
I purse my lips, curious. “Family business? Sounds interesting, but also messy.”
“Bit of both, I suppose.”
While I expect Nick to offer more information, he does not. Nick keeps things close to the vest, which I can appreciate.
“May I ask, how did someone from Belgrovinia wind up in the smalltown of Saltside, North Carolina?” I query, incredulity lacing my voice.
A laugh springs from his throat and it’s a glorious sound, free-flowing and contagious.
“I’m escaping. I’m a month into a three-month long vacation before I begin my career.
I don’t really have much of a plan, to be honest. We flew into New York City and then started driving south, stopping where we saw fit. ”
“That sounds idyllic. Has it been?”
“Very much so. While I’ve enjoyed the uniquely American experiences that the big cities have afforded me, the peace found in the quaint towns is more enjoyable. More of a true escape from my real life.”
“So, you live in a big city?”
“I do. I reside in Marymount, the capital city of Belgrovinia.”
“How long have you been in Saltside?”
“Only a few days. You?”
“Same. I flew in from Australia.”
“Australia?” Nick glances at me in surprise. “Working on your next film?”
“No. I’m using travel as an escape from real life, like you are.” Mirroring his posture, I flip from my back onto my side to face Nick. "I'm taking a year-long sabbatical from Hollywood."
I pause, considering what I'm tempted to admit, because my desire to be honest with Nick is unusual. This is our first in-depth conversation, but there's a potent intensity to it that's washing away my usual reservations.
The rollercoaster of emotions I’ve endured today, on the two-year anniversary of a traumatic event, combined with my alcohol intake and my simmering desire for Nick, make for a dangerous truth serum. I shift my eyes to meet his. “If I tell you something, will you keep it between us?”
“Of course,” he replies without hesitation.
Closing my eyes, I confess, “I’m not sure I’ll return to my acting career. I’m twenty-seven. I’ve been working for over a decade, and while I’ve found success, it isn’t the life I want anymore. It isn’t making me happy.”
For the first time, I give voice to the thoughts that have been swirling in my mind like a tornado these past few months.
I expect my admission to cause some internal trepidation, but instead, I’m filled with an overwhelming sense of relief.
Life as an actress is glamorous and appealing on the surface, but it’s also an extremely lonely and isolating existence.
Constant travel. Long days on set. Demanding, jam-packed schedules.
The idea of leaving that lifestyle behind and starting over isn’t as scary as I assumed it would be.
And when I open my eyes, I find Nick staring at me thoughtfully. His eyes aren’t incredulous or full of judgment. He doesn't scoff at how stupid it is to contemplate quitting a successful career.
Nick’s hand snakes out, reaching for mine. He brushes his thumb across the back of my hand reassuringly. “Since you started traveling, have you missed acting?”
I shake my head. “Not at all.”
"Maybe you have your answer, then."
"Maybe so, maybe not," I shrug.
“If you leave Hollywood, what kind of life do you envision for yourself?”
God, if that isn’t a loaded question.
“More than anything, I want a simple life. I want to find love, get married, start a family.” I rip my gaze away, embarrassed.
It sounds silly to say those words aloud, so I stare up at the stars rather than make eye contact with Nick.
“To most, that sounds like such a normal, easy life, but to me, it’s a dream.
One that I’m not sure it will be in the cards for me. ”
“To most, it is, but not to us,” Nick murmurs in agreement, surprising me again.
My eyes widen. “Not to us ?”
Unfortunately, we’re interrupted by Maggie and Johann before Nick has a chance to explain.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I’m going to head out now, Willa.”
Knowing Maggie as well as I do, I know one thing for sure: this nosy nitwit, whom I love dearly, is anything but sorry. I can practically see the wheels turning in her brain, scheming up ways to bring Nick and I together again.
Admittedly, I don't hate the idea.
Although the thought of dating again still makes me nervous. But let's be real, I suffer from anxiety, so what doesn't make me nervous?
It's been oddly comforting spending time with Nick tonight, almost as if some of his confidence rubbed off on me, allowing my brain to relax.
Maybe Nick is my own personal Xanax.
And the fact that he’s easy on the eyes doesn’t hurt either. Unlike the bulky, overly muscular bodies of Hollywood actors and professional baseball players I've dated, Nick has a leaner build. Still muscular and strong, but less overtly so. More like a runner’s body.
I wonder what he would look like wearing only those small running shorts. With sweat dripping down his rippled abs and his dark blond hair tousled, his chest heaving from exertion .
“Might want to wipe the drool from the corner of your lip, Radford,” Maggie jokes with mirth in her eyes as she catches me ogling Nick. Again.
I sputter a half-hearted denial but based on the smiles on the three faces staring at me, no one believes me.
Especially Nick. The cocky, seductive smirk that graces his face conveys all too well that he knows exactly what I was thinking.
Given how attractive Nick is, this probably isn't the first time he's caught a woman fantasizing about him.
“I’m going to see Maggie safely to her car,” Johann remarks to Nick.
As they walk off, I comment casually, “And they say chivalry is dead.”
Nick stands and holds out his hand to me. “I'll walk you to your room.”