16. Austin #2
There’s a long pause before she finally speaks. “That’s not on you, Austin.”
I drag a hand through my hair, breathing out a harsh breath. “Feels like it is,” I say. “Like every time I fuck up, I push that dream further away. Like I’m wasting everything she gave up for me.”
My voice cracks at the end. I hate that. I bite the inside of my cheek to shut it down, my jaw clenching so hard it aches.
Maisie shifts beside me. Her knee brushes mine.
And then her hand slowly rests gently on top of mine.
The contact makes my throat close up in a different way.
We sit like that for a while.
Maisie shifts beside me on the bench, her hand still resting lightly on mine before she slowly pulls it back, folding it in her lap.
She glances over. “You ready for the midterm?”
A groan escapes me before I can stop it, and I drop my head. “Don’t remind me.”
She nudges her knee against mine. “As your tutor, that’s literally my job.”
I lift my head enough to shoot her a look, raising one brow. “Is that all you are?”
Her expression stutters for half a second. “What else would I be?”
The question hangs in the air. Open. Waiting.
I could lie. I could say something dumb and flirty, play it off like I always do.
But my brain goes somewhere else entirely.
The girl I look forward to seeing every Friday.
The only person I’ve let see the scared, messed-up parts of me.
Someone I want to kiss.
I swallow it down, force a smirk. “My best friend, of course.”
Maisie rolls her eyes, but there’s a smile there, tugging at the corners of her mouth before she tries to hide it.
I watch her for a beat too long. The way her lashes brush her cheeks when she looks down. The soft pink tinting her face. The little curve of her lips like she’s fighting the urge to grin.
I tip my head back against the concrete wall, closing my eyes for half a second. “I’m terrified,” I admit, swallowing harshly.
Maisie looks over again.
“I want this,” I say. “Hockey. School. All of it. I want to be better. But I’m scared I’ll screw it up anyway.” I blow out a breath, squinting at her. “I’m afraid you’ll think you wasted your time on a lost cause.”
Her eyes soften as she shifts a little closer. “You’re not a lost cause, Austin.”
The way she says my name hits somewhere low in my chest.
Her eyes search mine, steady and warm, and the urge to lean in and press my forehead to hers is almost unbearable.
She shifts a little closer. Our knees bump again, and this time, neither of us moves away.
“Plus,” she adds, “Tutoring you has kinda been fun.”
That pulls a grin from me. “Oh yeah?”
She narrows her eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head.”
Too late.
It’s already there. In my chest, in my throat. In every breath I take around her.
I study her face. Her eyes. The way the corner of her lip curls up when she’s trying not to smile.
I think about that night in her room. How she didn’t flinch when I fell apart. How she stayed. Just stayed, like it was the easiest thing in the world.
And something shifts inside me.
I like her.
I really fucking like her.
And I don’t even know what to do with that.
I haven’t liked a girl in—God, maybe ever.
Because I’ve spent years keeping girls at arm’s length. Hookups. Flings. Nothing serious. Nothing that could get close enough to break something. I suck at this shit. Feelings. Being real. Not just… hooking up and pretending none of it matters.
But this? Sitting here with her, heart pounding like it’s trying to tell me something I’m not ready to hear?
I can’t remember the last time I wanted something like this.
I glance down at my phone again.
Cherry’s last message is still sitting there. Waiting for me to say something. Waiting for me to figure it out.
But I can’t.
Not when Maisie’s sitting right here beside me, close enough to feel the warmth of her arm. Close enough that I catch a whiff of her shampoo every time she shifts.
I came out here looking for Cherry.
And now all I can think about is Maisie.
The girl sitting beside me. The one who came to a game she didn’t even like just to be there for me.
Before I can say anything else, a buzzer blares from inside the rink. The crowd erupts into cheers, stomping feet, the unmistakable thud of excitement echoing through the concrete.
Game’s over. I don’t even know who won, but I don’t want to move.
I let out a sigh. “Thanks for keeping me company.”
Maisie stands, brushing off the front of her jeans with her palms. “Well,” she says, adjusting the strap of her bag, “don’t get used to this. It won’t happen again.”
A smile tugs at my mouth. “Not even when I get back on the ice?”
Maisie pauses, twisting her lips. “I’ll think about it.”
I nudge her shoulder gently, grinning. “We both know you’ll say yes.”
She doesn’t answer. Just rolls her eyes and starts walking. That little smile playing on her lips says everything her mouth doesn’t.
I stay seated, watching her go.
And I just sit there.
My heart pounding.
My mind spinning.
All I know is that somewhere in that crowd is a girl I’ve only ever known through a screen.
And walking away from me is a girl who’s changing everything I thought I wanted.
And I don’t know which one I’m supposed to be chasing.