28. Maisie
MAISIE
I f someone had told me six months ago that I’d be spending a Friday night in a dorm room with two girls who were actually friends of mine, I would’ve laughed in their face and gone back to my room, alone like usual.
I’ve never had anything like this before. A real girls’ night. Friends who text me. Friends who actually want me around.
I’ve spent so long on the outside, watching everyone else laugh like they belonged. I used to think that was just how it’d always be for me, like maybe I just wasn’t built to fit in anywhere.
But here I am.
Isabella’s sitting on the floor trying to paint her nails, which—considering we’re two glasses in and packed into a dorm room with zero ventilation—is going about as well as you’d expect.
“You’re seriously doing French tips?” Aurora lifts an eyebrow. “What are you, someone’s stepmom?”
Isabella barely glances up. “French tips are timeless, thank you very much.”
“Boring, more like,” Aurora mutters. “They look like the acrylics I got in seventh grade.”
I bite back a laugh and take another sip of wine. It’s kind of sour and definitely not good, but I’m not exactly picky right now.
Isabella peels off one of her under-eye patches, flicks it into the trash, then looks at me with that glint in her eye. “So… how’s it going with Austin?” she asks, wagging her brows.
My cheeks go hot. I stare down at my cup. “It’s good.”
Aurora gives me a look. “Like, walking funny good or…”
“Oh my God,” I groan, but I can’t stop the laugh that slips out.
Isabella grins. “Look at you. Blushing like crazy. It sure took you guys long enough.”
Aurora rolls onto her side, propping her head up with her hand. “I knew that whole ‘kissing as an apology’ thing was bullshit.”
I shake my head, but I’m smiling. I can’t help it. I smile like a maniac any time I even think of Austin.
“Have you told him about Six yet?” Isabella asks, making my smile disappear.
My chest tightens. “Uh… no,” I admit. “Not really.”
Aurora’s head whips around. “Wait. Seriously? He still doesn’t know?”
I shake my head, chewing the inside of my cheek. “I mean… I told him I had a crush on someone when we first started hanging out. But I never said who.”
Isabella raises her eyebrows. “Do you think that’s a good idea? Keeping it from him?”
“I’m not keeping it from him,” I say quickly. “It’s just… complicated. We never even met in person. And it’s not like anything really happened.”
Aurora’s expression softens. “But he mattered to you.”
I nod, my fingers twisting the edge of the blanket in my lap. “Yeah. He did.”
My phone buzzes, and I know it’s Austin before I even glance down.
Austin:
how’s girls night? you miss me yet?
Me:
It’s good. Aurora brought Reese’s. You’ve officially been replaced.
Austin:
baby, please don’t make me get jealous over candy.
Baby .
My cheeks warm and my stomach flutters like crazy at the nickname.
Me:
You’d probably pick Reese’s too if you had the choice.
Austin:
nope. Reese’s don’t stand a chance. I’d pick you every time. you’re sweeter, hotter, and way more addictive.
I press my lips together, trying to swallow the smile tugging at the corner of my mouth.
Isabella looks up from her phone, arching a brow at me. “It’s Austin, isn’t it?”
Aurora’s already watching me with a knowing smirk. “You’re blushing,” she says, wagging her wine glass at me. “God, you’re so obvious.”
I shrug, not even bothering to deny it. “Yeah. It’s Austin.”
Isabella grins. “You guys are disgustingly cute.”
I laugh under my breath, shaking my head. “I just… I like him,” I admit, even though it’s clearly obvious. “A lot.”
It’s scary how easy things feel with him. How fast it’s gone from us being friends to… something else. Something real. And real always makes me nervous.
I press a hand to my stomach, trying to settle the fluttery ache that’s been there all day. It should feel good. And it does. But then something shifts—like a switch flipping—and my smile falters as a tight, unwelcome knot twists in my gut.
Because I’m happy. Really, genuinely happy. And that’s the part that scares me.
My brain’s already bracing for the fallout. For the moment it gets taken away.
Because I’ve never had something like this before. And some part of me still thinks I don’t get to keep it.
“Hey,” Aurora says quietly. “What just happened? You looked all dreamy a second ago.”
I blink, glancing down at my drink. “I don’t know. I guess… I just keep waiting for something to go wrong.”
Isabella shifts closer on the rug, watching me carefully. “Maisie…”
I bite my lip. “We haven’t—” I stop. The words get stuck. Then I exhale and force them out. “We haven’t done anything yet.”
Isabella doesn’t say anything at first, but I feel her watching me.
Aurora frowns. “Wait. You guys haven’t…?”
I shake my head. “Not all the way. We’ve messed around a little, but… I’ve never actually had sex. With anyone.”
Isabella’s brows lift slightly. “Oh.”
“I know,” I mutter, heat prickling under my skin. “It’s just…” I inhale, steadying myself. “Sometimes I feel like I’m on this completely different timeline than everyone else. Like I’m trying to catch up but I don’t even know where the starting line is.”
“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Mais,” Isabella says.
“I’m not embarrassed,” I mutter, half-laughing and not even sure why.
“I just don’t want to disappoint him. He’s so—he’s Austin.
He’s confident and hot and definitely more experienced than I am and I’m just—” I blow out a breath.
“What if he gets bored? Or thinks I’m too inexperienced?
Or starts wondering why he’s with someone who doesn’t know what the hell she’s doing?—”
“Maisie, stop,” Isabella cuts in. “First of all,” she says, tossing a gummy worm at me, “you’re not boring.”
“Literally the opposite,” Aurora adds.
“And second of all, the right person doesn’t care if you’ve done stuff. They care if you’re safe, if you’re happy. They wait, because waiting means getting to keep you longer.”
“She’s right,” Aurora says, setting her glass down and leaning forward.
“Being inexperienced isn’t a flaw. It’s just where you’re at.
And if Austin’s the kind of guy who makes you feel safe, he won’t give a shit.
If all he wanted was an easy hook-up, he could find that.
But he doesn’t want that. He wants you , Maisie. ”
My throat tightens.
I nod, slow, pressing my lips together.
“I’d only been with one guy before Ryan,” Isabella says, lifting her shoulder in a shrug. “And even then, it took me a while to feel ready with him. The right person doesn’t pressure you.”
I nod, my fingers curling around the stem of my glass. I want to believe that. I really do. But it’s hard not to spiral.
“I know it’s scary,” she adds, her voice softening. “But honestly? That boy looks at you like you hung the damn stars.”
Aurora hums, smirking. “Also? You’re a total catch, Mais. He should be counting his lucky stars you even think about letting him see you naked.”
I laugh, the tension cracking just a little.
“Besides, it’ll be different with you,” Isabella adds. “There’s feelings involved. It’s so much better when it’s with someone you actually care about.”
There’s a beat of silence. And then Aurora groans, tipping her head back. “God, I miss sex.”
Isabella snorts. “Didn’t you just talk to Chase yesterday?”
“Yeah,” Aurora huffs. “And he lives three hours away. FaceTime can only do so much. That’s why I love my vibrator. It gets the job done and lets me nap in peace.”
I let out a laugh. My heart is so full it aches a little. I never thought I’d be able to have friendships like this. I’m so glad I found them.
“I don’t know what I thought this year would be like,” I admit. “But it wasn’t this. I never would have expected you guys.”
Isabella reaches over and squeezes my hand. “You’ve got us now.”
I smile into my glass, warmth blooming behind my ribs.
Aurora lifts her glass, smirking. “Here’s to not having it all figured out.”
Isabella rolls her eyes but smiles. “And to good friends.”
“And to vibrators,” Aurora says with a grin.
We all laugh again, and for the first time in my life, I feel like I belong somewhere.